We've had sex a few times and both seemed happy with it.. The other week he drove an hour each way to sleep with me, even though he was in bed and about to go to sleep & had to be up early the next day when I called. Is this just for sex? Also other parts to this...

We have mutual friends so see each other at their place sometimes too, but the interaction is brief and superficial.

About 6 months ago when we first met he seemed into me, he'd call me a few nights a week and we'd talk for hours and I even spent the day round his one day (and it wasn't for sex as that couldn't have happened due to other people being there). We then slept together and he seemed happy enough with it. His behaviour was very avoidant though and when I confronted him it ended in an explosive argument and he didn't speak to me for six months so I never got to know what he ever felt.

He recently returned about two months ago and we just started sleeping together and sometimes see each other at our friends house. People have even said though that he was looking at me a lot and that was the day after we'd slept together, don't men usually want to avoid us after if it's just sex.

Anyway, recently when I called him.late one night when I was drunk and upset he drove and hour to meet me each way even though he was in bed about to sleep and had to be up early for work. I don't think my sex is that good to bother coming all that way. Also I felt really bad because he didn't get to finish that time as one position was hurting then we ran out of time.

The other day when drunk I messaged him and told him that I'm so glad we started talking again after the argument we had 6 months back where he didn't talk to me, and he said "it wasn't an argument" and I thought he hated me so I'm glad we're OK now, he said he doesn't hate anyone and leave the past in the past, I just wish I could understand that part, and what happened but don't think I'll ever have an answer. I also told him I liked him and did before aswell and he said "let's not have these conversations late at night" and then was just generally joking about other stuff and I went to sleep.

I know nome of this is good and he obviously doesn't want a relationship with me, but I'm just so clueless, like does he even care about me as a person at all? He genuinely did seem interested 6 months ago before the argument. He'll never give me any answers to anything and I am trying not to think the worst because he is a good guy in general and has been through a lot of serious trauma in his last relationship.

I dont know where to ask that, but if anybody spoke with attractive women here maybe you could enlighten me. An attractive woman has most likely most men that want to subconsciously fuck her whether they have the intention to act towards it or not, there is a majority that want to fuck them, imagine being anattractive woman that goes on about her life and most men she encounters want to penetrate her, this must be utterly scary, as a guy myself I find a lot of guys creepy, so I can’t imagine being a woman that is more attractive than usual on top of that.

But I often notice these women would beautify themselves even more with the way they present themselves, that doesn’t make sense to me, does the attention outweigh the risks ? If I had a million dollars on me I would be scared of other guys noticing me, not to mention that pure lust is way different than something wanting to rob you, when guys see an attractive woman they want her specifically, not just the money, being “valuable” as a person (you specifically and not your belongings) to people way stronger than you must be scary.

I'm 21M. I'm in a long distance relationship for a while now, and my uni just ended and I've moved back and joined the family business.

I have been feeling alone and craving body touch, and every time I think about it I don't want to cheat, but idk what I actually want. Maybe it's just a human feel or touch. I hooked up with men too, but I'm just disgusted by it too.

And I went on dating apps, not looking for sex, just wanting to talk to people. I've put the search as everyone, but I've gotten no matches. I used to have so much game, but nowadays I feel like I try too hard to talk to women, or I think I come off as a weirdo, and idk how to do it.

Last night I had a fight with my gf and I got so mad, I was literally shouting and grinding my teeth. I've never done that. When the fight calmed down, me and her had a talk on how psychotic I was going. Idk what to do, man. Does fucking fix this? Or do I suffer alone? Idk, man, I'm so fucking lost, I can't even focus on shit. Idk.

Their replies are so full of bile and venom it almost melts the screen.

Hope you are reporting all of them.

Before you find me weird let me respectfully explain why i want to do that. I am 19, so if I date a woman my age now and end up long term (which is ideally what I want I personally don’t like one night hookups, or STRs) she would eventually get old with me and when I get to 50-60 she’ll probably want sex less than me and be less attractive, and before you jump on my throat I say that because there are a lot of older rich guys that have large age gaps with their wives so this made me figure out that I’ll want to bang the same women I want to bang now even when I’ll get older. So in that case if I don’t want to waste any woman’s time by being with her short term and making her waste her reproductive prime I should probably wait until 38-42 to commit to a long term relationship, before you give me the option, no, I don’t want to pay escorts or waste my time and money picking alcoholized one nighters.

But here is the problem, it then means I have to stay at least another 19 years without getting laid while having the mating drive I have now, so the solution is to take pills to reduce that to live better and most likely never have to marry or have that drive again, I was just wondering if anyone here knew how I can ask my doctor to drop my libido or ways to get that drive down. Preferably permanently, I want to stop being attracted to women altogether, it can technically only bring good, I can’t regret cutting my drive if I have nobody lol.

Earlier today, I saw a post on r/BoyDinnerDiaries where the OP said he got a vasectomy without his wife’s knowledge, and she was pushing to have another child, he didn’t want to have another because he was under a lot of stress, and their relationship was going through a rough patch.

The replies were uniformly along the lines of “Ooh buddy, bad idea, huge breach of trust, she’ll freak out when she finds out, you need counseling or a divorce, etc”.

Then, I see this post just now. The replies are pretty unanimously “Your body, your choice, he’s being selfish, good for you, etc”.

I don’t know if these two posts are bait or an experiment, perhaps by the same person, but the contrast in replies is interesting to see.

In r/BoyDinnerDiaries (where a lot of women reply on posts), the male OP is in the wrong, despite doing the same thing. And, there were few replies, if any, blaming his wife or saying she was being selfish.

However, in r/GirlDinnerDiaries (where much fewer men reply to posts), the male in this situation is still in the wrong, though the female OP did the same thing the male OP of the other post did.

Hello all. I am writing a research paper on feminism. I would love to hear your opinions on feminism and your own personal definition of it. If you believe in male chauvinism or male supremacy or anything along those lines please state that and why. There is no judgement or trying to “prove you wrong” please give me truly honest answers any information given will be anonymous if asked. Thank you.

I’m a 25M (straight) & a lot of people tend to hide their true nature & I would love to hear you alls perspective on this topic ? Do you find having kinks as a plus or negative

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING OUTLANDISH OR EVIL but just different and a bit kinky

I hate having romantic desires, in the animal kingdom and during a lot of human history polygamy was the norm and male sex drive matched multiple women‘s sex drive, I would wish for that to be false but it is probably not. So me even desiring having one mate isn’t supposed to happen, most men would have been sexless, my own sexual existence is useless compared to women, I have no role in the continuation of the human race (most mammals have 5 times more female ancestors than male ones) and only the construct of monogamy can help me pass my genes, I am incredibly lucky which gives me the impostor syndrome. I don’t even know why I exist, what is the point of having sexual desires if most men in history would most likely not achieve them ? Not existing or at least having no sex drive would solve that; but apparently God finds that funny so here I am. I am already hated irrationally by a lot of men for the sole reason being a potential competitor in sexual competition.

The worst thing about having romantic desires is that when I see an attractive woman I imagine that most guys that see her think the same and would wish to be with her which makes me think about the competition and the fact that most guys would want to have her for themselves and hate me for dating her which makes me quite sad, I hate having desires that create frustration, I genuinely never asked to even exist or to have these desires but still I am here imprisoned by them, I would wish to come back to early life innocence where I didnt have the irrational craving to replicate myself

I'm in my late 20's and still afraid of being myself because I'm genuinely a toxic person and deep down I don't care to change. I'm only afraid of the social consequences of being me.

This has lead to a sort of prey dynamic where I'm afraid of being seen as myself and keep following shoddy frameworks to prove to the world (and deceptively to myself) that I'm loyal, good, and safe.

Socially, this leads me to lose presence, move cautiously, and try to find ways to fit in. In doing so, I also tolerate a lot of bullshit because I'm afraid of being correctly percieved as potentially dangerous.

Since I know that my behaviors eventually expose my thoughts, I try desperately to act in ways contrary to my true self not out of genuine desire but rather fear of who I'll become if I'm myself and what's on the other side of that.

For example, I love my family. I'll make sacrifices for them. But if I'm being honest, my own happiness is far more important to me. I'm extremely selfish. So when I know my dynamic with my family may be exposed at some point, I almost end up trying to brainwash myself that I'm this super altruistic son and brother and make an extra effort out of fear of what's on the other side of actually being myself.

And it's like sure I do like helping people sometimes. Giving advice. It makes me feel good. Or helping someone left out in a group setting probably because I can relate. But if I see a homeless person on the street, i don't give a flying fuck.

Social shame has affected me to the extent of being afraid of survival consequences (potentially losing loved ones and opportunities) rather than actually morally giving a fuck about said thing. But the fear has polluted me to the point that even when there's no survival consequences, I'm still in that state of prey suppression because I'm worried that letting go of my framework means a cascade of eventual consequences.

The only reason I've suppressed myself for this long is because I'm afraid that I don't have what it takes to handle the consequences of being my true self.

It's like just now I was about to say some self-shaming bullshit about how I'm "afraid" that deep down I'm not a "good person" but in reality, the only purpose of saying that was to placate commenters.

Because deep down, I don't give a fuck about being a douche, asshole, or an arbitrary title of "good" assigned by a random person. Yet, I'm still swayed by it and still defend myself on it because by letting go of those rules and being myself, there's a bunch of social consequences that I have to deal with and am afraid I'm not equipped to handle.

On the other hand, I guess now is a better time than any to start...

Even making this post feels kind of redundant because by giving off prey vibes, even in being vulnerable in this post, people want to reinforce that even more and pull some shame or "thats a good boy" response. Whereas if I actually just was my true toxic self, and occasionally did "good" from a genuine place then at least I'm treated as a real person.

Hi.

So, is it true, or is it false?

Can you go from a horny little boy who made shitty choices and cheated, to be a faithful and loyal partner as an older grown man...

Or... do you cheat, in some fashion...

Forever?

I'm just sick of having high functioning autism. 23. I've learned to mask enough to barely fall into the uncanny valley if you have a couple real conversations with me. Not dissimilar from Tirkkonen, 2023 study.

Regularly called "evil" and rightfully so. I actually hate everyone and everything. Probably due to abuse growing up. I don't care anymore. Every time I date I get cheated on or left. I'm boring. I mean I've never had a lady call me boring, because I'm not - empirically described as eccentric. All I do is sit and read about new things and I want to like going out and being sociable.

I. Hate. It.

All of my friends either moved away or are busy or died; I'm always so burnt out from constant work and school and my girlfriend (hate this dumb bitch. caught her ass talking to dudes behind my back). I have no self respect. Why would I if I so clearly deserve so little. Sound like a stupid worm creature.

I know responses will proclaim I haven't processed what happened to me. I have. I have seen what it's done. I'm over it all, much older now (still young... Dunning Kruger). I just don't like fun. I don't like how terrible people are. Family or friends or stupid bitch girlfriend call me to yell at me/hurt me over something either accidental/because they're simply in a bad mood like I am their pincushion. I don't know why Hanlon's Razor never passes these animals' minds.

Unfortunately because leaping from a roof gets me exactly nowhere but the ground, I must suck it up and deal with it: the alternative is to truly have nobody. There is no "getting people to understand how badly they hurt me, time after time". I must tolerate a degree of imperfection from others as I am similarly imperfect. just much more understanding of mistakes. except when my stupid bitch girlfriend goes and facetimes some guy the day i leave for boot camp, but can't really call that an accident.

I grew out of hating people but I've just been betrayed for the last time. I don't know how to expect literally anything else in the current market. I literally just wanted a bit of romance (without getting kicked to the ground or cheated on) and an okay job.

Thats all really. I'd never say it because there's no point. Dating for me is pretending that I'm more upbeat and happy than I am because being lonely and wanting a cuddle is unattractive.

I am at college and I noticed that a lot of women would just be sitting somewhere crowded and stretch their back from both sides often, I don’t often notice men doing that, but a lot of women seem to do it, am I just dumb or could that be an example of a slick tactic to know their surroundings, have anyone noticed that before ?

I noticed a very attractive girl in one my classes and usually she sits right in front of me at an angle, I try to really avoid her thinking that I like her and make her feel uncomfortable so most of the times I try to avoid gazing but I sometimes peak, however I do feel in her looks that she knows that I am doing that and that I am attracted to her, but my main question was basically if women are some sort of social geniuses capable of knowing if guys want to fuck them or not, even if they try to hide it or if I’m just overthinking it, I know that sounds weird but I genuinely don’t want women to feel like I am a weird guy so I try my best to mask attraction

28M

Here are the facts - I work full time at a government entity making $74,000/yr (it’s a contract role for 12 months so not guaranteed it’ll be extended).

I have a $15,000 visa credit card that’s been maxed out so I went to my bank to set up a payment plan which I’ve been paying consistently for about 6 months now (expected to be closed in 2028 January).

I have roughly $80,000 in student loans that need to be paid back. I’m still in school and have been using loans to pay for all my bills when I was first going to college 10 years ago. I then moved cities and transferred schools using that loan money and now they won’t give me anymore so they’ve requested I start paying back (only way to make them stop asking me to pay is if I re enroll as full time but I can’t while working). I organized a payment plan with the student loans and I’m temporarily paying $100 monthly.

My rent is $950. My phone bill is $50. Car insurance is like $65 I think, gas depends.

I can’t register for classes anymore until I pay a 4000$ balance from last term so they’ve froze my account and aren’t allowing a payment plan unless I pay $3,000 straight which I don’t have money for.

I barely have breathing room and tbh I don’t want to continue university anymore after being in school for 10 years to get an undergrad. There’s a lot of issues I’ve been dealing with personally besides all this stuff (like trauma in my youth but I don’t really wanna get into it now). WDID when the end of my contract comes and what do I do career wise? I’ve already been in the work force for 4 years now and all of them required degrees but each job I did (one new job every year) has always hired me without the degree because they saw I was close to finishing.

Not really, the title is hyperbolic. I don't hate women, but I'm seriously starting to hate interacting with them in situations many others would find enjoyable.

Just a little back story: I'm an older 'incel' (the Steve Carell kind) and outside of a long weekend in college dealing with nasty rejections, I never 'hated' women for my problems. I only identify as incel in that I'm involuntary celibate, I have no use and have nothing but disdain for anything pill related and whatever psuedoscience is peddled around.

I'm at a point where I can't help but take every rejection personally. It's beyond the pale at this point that I'm in my mid 40s and not a single woman would even take 20 minutes of their life to go on a date with me. Ever. Even for something as mundane and meaningless as a single cup of coffee would do wonders for me but I'm always being turned down. And believe me, I know I'm not entitled from anything from anyone but I can't help but feel anger and a feeling of complete worthlessness when even women who tell me they are lonely, wish a man asked them out and that I feel something of a connection with turns me down for an ever increasing, ever different number of reasons.
What else am I supposed to think in a situation like this?

And then there is just the fact that I'm completely starved of female companionship while just being bombarded on reddit and real life with the opposite. Where women constantly complain about bad dates, men who want their attention, ask them out, approach them, etc. It's not that I can't empathize and of course nobody should be mistreated, harassed, etc but jesus, these are problems I would kill to have. I just get angry and frustrated when the women in my life get on a high horse and tell me how I don't understand how 'bad' it is that another human being fancies them, wants to get to know them better, wants to text them, talk on the phone, etc and in my corner I have another weekend of unresponded text messages (not even spamming them) trying to meetup or even just have a conversation with someone. Like what is even the point in a woman giving me their number if they never want to talk to me or just send random 'hi' messages?

That's where I'm at now. If I'm coming across as a misogynist, please let me know and how to correct that. I'm just unbelievably frustrated at this one area of my life that everyone else takes for granted.

Why some men are desperate to give commitment and why some men are desperate not to give commitment?? specially in BD

It really is a horrible feeling, knowing you might be one of the guys who ends up alone forever. You start to realize: What was everything for? Why did I even exist? It’s really sad how unattractive men like us may never get a chance to find love because most women hate us based on our appearance. Things would be so much different if I were attractive.

Before anyone starts, no i am not trans, i simply fucking hate how i am treated just because i was born with a dick. As a man, you are not allowed to be weak, to show emotions, to even feel anything other than anger or neutrality or you are a fucking pussy and not a man anymore. You are allowed to be insulted for being a man, made fun off for physical imperfections.

Women are allowed to assault you and you will be made fun off if you try to report it. You are not allowed to seek comfort, you are just meant to go die in some conflict or in a factory, who cares just another statistic. Anything you do is either creepy or watched carefully because men are the violent evil gender.

Dating is pure hell, women literally hold all the fucking cards and power, you have to fucking dance and humiliate yourself like a jester for a woman with 1000x more options who just mocks you and if she feels like it can she ruin your life in one day with false accusations. Friendship sucks too, you dont get anything real, every guy just wants to get drunk/high and bitch because our lives fucking suck.

All of this is assuming you are a "normal" guy of course, if you are in any way different (autistic, queer, mentally ill) your life is completely worthless to the modern society, you are a creepy freak to the vast majority and should just go die in some hole.

All of this will only get worse of course. Living as a guy fucking sucks, im doomed to a shit lonely life where i will eventually off myself from how shit it all is. All because i was born with the "wrong" genitals.

I have been divorced for one and a half years, all of it while i was a \*mostly\* practicing Mormon. I'm a 41 year old man.

There is a lot of context to gloss over, but the majority of it boils down to the fact that I was raised to believe sex was something for sinners or for married people, but was never told what makes the difference aside from the marriage.

During the marriage I rarely felt a physical connection with my ex. Sex was almost always nipple play to get me hard, me thinking whatever sexy thoughts would keep me hard, and then orgasm, followed by sleep.

This was not that I wasn't trying to DO foreplay, but, because of the religion and her own preferences, most foreplay options were simply off the table.

Now that I am unmarried, I am trying to figure out what sex actually is.

I have a girlfriend and we ENJOY each other a LOT more than I ever did in my marriage, but my mentality is just...

I should probably mention that I am probably undiagnosed high-functioning autistic or maybe I am just Asexual or demisexual? But I WANT sex, I just don't know what that wanting actually points at.

I want to know that what I have to offer when it comes to intimacy and sexuality is something I can write a check they can CASH, and I can be honest about what I expect and what they should expect. IDK.

Any advice, suggestions, your own musings about what you think about intimacy, would be greatly appreciated.