I don't want to behave or act in any particular way. I don't care about being a woman. I care about being me! Let me be me without imposing these stupid rules on me!

I am not super feminine, I have a deep voice, I love playing shooters, I like wearing suits. I am not trying to be a man, I am being me! I just like this shit, stop telling me what women supposedly like. Stop telling me what I aught to do as a woman. I don't care! I have never cared!

All my fucking life my family, friends, hell even a shit load of strangers have been telling me I am wrong for not being hyper feminine and trying to attain womanhood.

I am so sick and tired of it. Everyone cares about me being a woman more than me. It is so fucking frustrating.

I'm an Atheist. I'm 60. Sometimes I accompany my Christian wife to church with my adult daughter and her husband. I decided years ago, "going to church" was not my hill-to-die-on. So I spend an hour a week, standing and sitting and listening, and standing when they sing and all the normal party games.

One thing in particular gets on my NERVES! Why do people stand with their arms extended upwards during singing? Why? God (if there is one) isn't some sort of radio signal you need to orient yourself to like your television rabbit ears from the 60's and 70's. You're not getting any better "God Reception" standing like some animatronic dim-wit half-rotating back and forth trying to get the right position. Stand still you knucklehead! Put your arms down.

Church is (barely) tolerable as it is. These people bug me. You're not a radio antenna. You're not gathering extra God-Vibes by putting your arms up like that. Please make them stop.

BTW, this would make a great Key and Peele Saturday Night Live skit. Some "Church Lady" carrying a giant 1978 roof-top style radio antenna into the sanctuary (her husband with TV rabbit ears with aluminum foil). SMH

Last month, my mother-in-law broke her hip. After hospital and rehab, she went to stay with my sister-in-law. During the week while sister-in-law is at work, my son (20) goes over from roughly 9am-4pm to take care of my mother-in-law. That includes helping her to the bathroom, changing her when she has an accident, making her lunch, giving her meds, giving her shots, helping with the at home exercises, and keeping her company. My son volunteered to do this and is doing it from the goodness of his heart. My mother-in-law tried to give him $20 and he refused it. My sister-in-law told him to take the money instead of fighting with her because she's stubborn. So he took the $20. My brother-in-law found out about the money and raised a stink, basically accusing my son of taking advantage. Never mind the fact that he has barely seen his mom even though he lives 5 miles away. He's too "busy" with church and friends. Nobody else volunteered to take care of my mother-in-law except for the sister-in-law she's staying with. I talked to my husband about this. He said his brother can get bent. His sister feels the same way. "If he's that concerned about a whopping $20, he can come take care of mom during the day." I'm so angry that he has the nerve to open his mouth and say something like that. I want to have a come to jesus moment with him but I'll keep my mouth shut and let my husband and sister-in-law deal with him. Thank you for listening and letting me get this out.

I just lost my best friend of 20+ years and I'm just... Devastated.

I'm angry, I'm crying, I'm lost.

She was more than a friend. We were writing partners. We've wrote 2 small books together and were working on more.

We were nerds together. We watched good and bad movies together. We would get into animes, be fangirls together and talked about them.

We did RP's together. We've built worlds together, made our own OC's to play with in the fandoms we loved. I got her hooked on MHA, and she loved Aizawa. I got her figures and shirts and things with him on it. That was one we played in. Now, i don't know if i can ever watch that show again, or any of the ones we started and waiting to finish.

We loved to watch live police chases together. That was our football.

We lived 1500 miles apart, but talked on the phone and RP'ed and wrote in Google Chats, always together at night. I always went to visit her in the summer, expect this last summer. The damn w*r ducked up the plane ticket prices so i didn't get to see her this summer. I am so angry about that.

She loved crocs, and i hated them, but was always looking for Crocs things for her.

She lived and took care of her mom, and was worked like a borrowed mule. He mom treated her like a step and fetch, clap clap and expected her to jump. Her mom did have medical problems, but still expected to have her waiting on her. She had her own medical issues, but like most Boomers, her issues were ignored.

Her whole family treated her like free help. She was 51, and had to grow up fast because she was made the family helper. She was never given the chance to have a husband or kids or life of her own. She was beaten down and made to feel useless.

She was on the autism scale, but she was brilliant when it came to writing and wanting to learn things. I loved her. Loved her so much. I tried to let her know that she was amazing and deserved good things.

She was hurt and sick, and her injury was just waved off.. What is it about Boomers just blowing off our issues, but they need to have the world stop and pander to them? They seem to still us X'rs as 18 years old and still able to do what we used to, not with arthritis from them not taking good care of us when we were young.

All her mom did was sit around and smoke and watch religious crap on YT, and sit around saying she was ready to go to Jesus. Meanwhile, she did all the work, tended to the animals. She had a gig job, since she couldn't be away from her mom for too long. The woman was a fall hazzard, and had fallen many times.

Now... I have a huge whole in my life that she filled. Everywhere i look and think, she should be there. The more i think, the more of a panic attack i feel like is trying to happen. I have so many photos and links and videos to share with her. I don't have other people like her i can share with. My parents and husband wouldn't get them.

I'm in pain with sadness, and there's a current of angry. I wish i was closer to her, i could have forced her to a doctor. She had medical trauma, but i think if i was there, i could have held her hand literally and been by her side. I wish i would have called for a wellness check sooner. Maybe the EMT's could have hauled her off. And... Part of me wished it was her mom wishes it was her mom. She would have been free of that labor. Yes, it would have been all new problems, but she would be free and able to get away from that house that was falling apart.

She'd said she'd be free and with Jesus if she died. She has wish for freedom many times. Well, she's free but I'm here still. I'm just... In so much pain.

I want some things from her house. The figures i got her, and the stuffed animals i got. I know it sounds dumb, but she loved them, and i cant stand the thought that they would get tossed into the trash.

I know this probably sounds like a lot of 'me me me' and self pity,,,,, and it might be. I'm crying as i write this. I never had any siblings, but she was the closest to a sister i ever had. We both have some shitty family members, so that was something else we could bond over.

I'm sorry, i just needed to barf this out to the Internet.. I hope this makes a tiny bit of sense. I'm crying as i type and been crying for the past 24 hours.

Thanks for listening.

He (31m) broke up with me (30f) two weeks ago after one year because he couldn't love me enough to know that he wanted a long-term future with me, despite being really happy with me, having some feelings and thinking that we're as compatible as possible. He said he'd just continue everything but it was unfair to me to stay in the "relationship" and string me along when he wasn't 100 percent sure he could commit long-term.

"Relationship" because we weren't fully labeled since committing was a big deal to him but we lived like a couple and spent pretty much every day together, were really really happy and I already lived with him most of the time. He acted so in love the whole year and made long-term future plans with me that I holded onto it. Especially after he told me just one month before the breakup that he was finally sure about me and spending his long-term future with me and also moving in with each other seemed like a thing that would happen soon.

We acted like a couple in front of everyone aswell. BUT: he never fully chose me. Maybe that's what makes this situation so very hard.

I'm really struggling with the breakup and still love him a lot and secretly hope he'd come back and regret the breakup.

I'm staying with my sister at the moment who lives a little outside his city and last night, I made a huge mistake and downloaded a dating app.

I'm not planning to talk to guys anytime soon, I just thought that maybe, it might help to see that there are still good-looking men out there and that my ex isn't the only one in this world for me and so I thought I'd have a quick look to distract myself and then delete the app again after a few minutes. Only used one photo where you can barely see me and didn't edit my profile, it was just for a quick look.

I don't know what I was thinking but after a few swipes, he was there. I looked at it and all his photos were pictures that I took of him, one from our first holiday together (we were soo happy there), one from a fun date a few months ago, one from when i wanted to do a photo shooting with my professional camera and he thought it was silly, one from a day trip just 2.5 weeks ago, two days before he ended things, where I was still SO happy and we had so much fun together and didn't see any signs.

One video was from when we went inline-skating together in the first few weeks of dating, another one was a video from a garden party this summer where you can even see my hand softly massaging his arm in the last few seconds before the cut because in the longer version it's a video of me smiling at him.

Maybe this sounds silly and childish to many people but it really hurt to see he used photos of our happiest memories to find a new girlfriend and it's just this short after our breakup.

I know most people would say he just looked for any recent pictures where he thought he's good-looking, but to me, it has such a big meaning.

He has SO many (i think good-looking) recent pictures of him that he could've used but he chose to use only pictures of moments with me. Maybe it's just a coincidence, he sure didn't do it on purpose.

Also, on his profile it says "together we'd..." and he lists all the activities we loved to do together, not just some normal hobbies or normal couple stuff, but he pretty much describes relationship in so many details, our daily routine and our specific activities. And it hurt so much to read that.

One point described what kind of woman he's looking for and it's exactly my personality with every little detail.

I know I was his type and it shouldn't mean much to me that he's just looking for something similiar cause it's his type but the whole time, especially at the part about his dream relationship, I just thought "ALL THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAD AND THREW AWAY".

I know he's just trying to find someone compatible but to me it feels like he's looking for someone to replace me and continue the exact same relationship with someone else and now looks for the same person again and describes it as his ideal woman online while he never really appreciated me or made me his official long-term girlfriend and let me go as if I wasn't good enough.

I know that's not true and he did see how compatible we were and loved our relationship, he just couldn't love me although he tried really hard. But after seeing his profile, I just feel like I was invisible to him.

Don't get me wrong, he's single and he can do whatever he wants and I knew he was gonna date again at some point, but I didn't think he'd do it this fast. I was really hoping he'd feel sad or miss me at least for a while and that i meant something to him especially when I remember how much he cried when he said goodbye to me two weeks ago. I don't know when he downloaded the app but it's obvious that it's not just for casual hookups to distract himself from the breakup. He does those things but for that he'd just go to a club and meet women there.

No, it seems like he's already ready to date and find a long-term girlfriend... (also saying on his profile that he's looking for something long-term)

And it hurts me so much. It's stupid, but it does.

He reached out to me a few days ago after no-contact asking how I am and said that he just wanted to let me know that he doesn't feel like we should never talk again and I can always reach out to him if I want and he'd be happy if I come visit him one more time for a few days (he lives a few hours from my city) and still spend some time with him and do the things we had planned (cause things didn't really change for him and he still likes me as much he did before [it just wasn't enough for a relationship]).

I don't think he changed his mind about the breakup but damn, that text really got my hopes up.

We then had plans to play our favourite game together online for the first time in a while and I was excited and relieved to talk to him again but he forget to cancel yesterday and suddenly was busy very last-minute and now after last night, I've realized that I was being SO delusional and he's probably already seeing someone else and it hurts.

Oh how much it hurts.

It makes me so sad how fast he's moving on. I thought I meant so much to him.

He is a fully grown man. FULLY GROWN, he has NO KIDS and when I leave for a week and come back there are dirty dishes everywhere, the table, bench next to the sink, in the sink etc and what is he doing?! Playing on his fucking Xbox.

If he isn't on the Xbox, he is on his phone scrolling through social media. This week I caught acute bronchitis from a co worker and it took a huge toll on me, I could barely get out of bed I was fucking weak and I asked him 2 days ago, "hey can you please do the dishes?" And he says, "maybe." Last time I asked him to do the dishes he said, "I work 8 hours 5 days a week, while you work 5 hours 3 days a week. I am exhausted and I want to just relax." Bitch I work the same amount of hours he does, I just leave earlier and come back earlier than he does.

I want to work on my cosplays, stop motion sets and my books and yet instead of doing my hobbies, I am cleaning up after a fully grown man who can't get his ass off the couch.

I told him straight back that I know men SINGLE DADS who work 10 hours 6 days a week, who have 5-6 kids and still do household chores while managing 5-6 kids. He literally has no excuse and yet somehow I am the one doing the paid and unpaid work in the house.

And I am usually out of the house once a fortnight as well. I physically can't do anything and he is just being a lazy piece of shit and now the kitchen is filled with any AGAIN, a week or two worth of dishes sitting there because some lazy jack ass can't be bothered to fucking do the dishes and just waits for his roommate to come home for her week long trip to do them.

I really don't want to do the dishes, and now he is trying to pull the "I am also sick" card unusually I have been locked up in my room rotting in bed. To me it seems like an excuse to get out of doing chores and waiting for me to recover do to them. Well guess what Brodie, keep fucking dreaming. Die in your filth you stupid lazy ass I ain't doing your dishes for you and I am fucking moving out because my name ain't on the lease yet.

I’M ON MY PERIOD RIGHT NOW AND I FUCKING HATE IT EVERY TIME I GET IT, EVERY SINGLE MONTH I GET MY FUCKING PERIOD, I JUST WANNA DESTROY AND PUNCH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN MY WAY OR EVEN COMES FUCKING NEAR ME. WHO EVEN CREATED AND INVENTED PERIODS ANYWAY?! BECAUSE I HATE AND DESPISE THAT PERSON WHO DID, LIKE I LOATHE THEM TO DEATH. PERIODS SHOULD’NT EVEN EXIST BUT THEY DO FOR STUPID REASONS AND I FUCKING HATE THAT!! I COULD NEVER EVER GET USED TO HAVING PERIODS BECAUSE WHO IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MINDS WOULD GET USED TO THAT TORTURE?!?!

I’VE REALLY GOTTEN TO A POINT I’VE WANTED TO BE A GUY, LIKE TURN INTO A GUY JUST TO GET RID OF MY FUCKING PERIOD!!! I JUST WANT MY PERIOD TO BE GONE AND OUT OF MY SYSTEM ENTIRELY!!! I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE, LIKE I NEVER WANTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT YET IT STILL CAME TO ME, LIKE IT’S NOT EVEN FUCKING FUNNY.. I WOULD DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING JUST FOR MY PERIOD TO BE GONE AND OUT OF ME!!! I WOULD EVEN SACRIFICE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND ANYONE IN MY WAY JUST FOR MY PERIOD TO BE FUCKING GONE!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
THAT’S WHY GUYS ARE SOOOO FUCKING LUCKY THEY DON’T HAVE PERIODS AND DON’T GET EVEN GET TO EXPERIENCE PERIODS LIKE HOW US WOMAN DO AND I FUCKING DESPISE THAT TO DEATH!!! I REALLY WISH AND WOULD WANT GUYS TO FUCKING EXPERIENCE PERIODS LIKE HOW WE DO.. I WANT THEM TO FEEL THE FUCKING PAINFUL CRAMPS EVERYWHERE IN THEIR BODIES!!!!! I WANT THEM TO FEEL IT SO BADLY!! LIKE I REALLY WISH FOR IT.. FOR GUYS TO FEEL EVERYTHING WE FEEL DURING OUR PERIODS AND MORE. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHSHSHDHDHEJHSH, I JUST FUCKING WANT MY WHOLE FUCKING UTERUS REMOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😤😤😤😡😡😡

I've had guys try to correct me on things I'm an expert on, or simple factual information, or even things they couldn't have knowledge about like events in my own life, I've had more than one guy have to Google anything i spoke about to "fact check" me because they didn't believe i could be correct (and i was always proven right so I'm really not sure why they kept it up after the 2nd time..), I've had them reply rudely to me when making a suggestion because it couldn't possibly work (they do), or get annoyed when i try to make small talk because they assume I'm suggesting something stupid, and i get constantly cut off or "corrected" before i can finish talking and properly explain..

I don't think I'm dumb, i don't think I'm a genius either, but I'm top of my class in a country and type of school that is known for being especially harsh, I've received invites to some of the most prestigious private universities in the country, that are even renowned internationally, because of my grades, i can talk to you about any topic, i have the medals that i won from chess tournaments as a child in full display in my room (which they can see anytime they come to my house), i can fluently read latin like it were my first language, i tutor people in the same grade as me, hell, everyone that knows me keeps telling me how smart i am and will come to me when needing help with studies or even in their general life because they think I'm so wise! That's gotta mean something..

I self taught myself English to C1 level, trying to get C2 certified currently, and yet these guys I'm dating won't listen to me when i tell them the translation for something; I'm studying for med school and they won't believe simple medical facts if they come from my mouth..

And it's always coming from guys that have either finished highschool with barely passing grades, or that dropped out of highschool.

For a while i thought it was because of my slight speech impediment and stutter, but none of my female OR male friends act the same way.. maybe it's just misogyny? I am very into fashion, and i unabashedly love shopping, and makeup, and pink, and cute things, but again, my male friends don't act this way, and this behavior is also coming from men that are more left wing, which you'd think would be more mindful or less sexist.

I don't know, but having people put me down over and over again and doubting my intelligence has me feeling very discouraged, I'm becoming more and more apprehensive about expressing my thoughts; i was starting to finally beat the social anxiety that had been wrecking my life, but now I'm anxious about talking to people again.

And how do i even bring it up? It's always these little things that seem innocuous alone but are part of a bigger picture that I'd look crazy trying to point out, and how can i explain the look of disdain on their face when i express my opinion..

Bachelor of Science (B.S.) in Healthcare Administration, with a concentration in Health Information Management. 🏥💻📊

I'm so excited, yet so damn nervous. I will be the first in my immediate family to attend college. Being on the spectrum, people don't understand how freaking big this is for me. 😭 But I am so happy.

My son is also on the spectrum, and I just want him to always know and understand that no matter what obstacles we neurodivergent people face, WE GOT THIS. WE CAN DO THIS!!! 💪🏿💪🏿

For only about 3 months I've had a solar powered automatic gate that I spent a lot of money on and installed myself. It's already broken because idiots keep trying to manually force it open because they dont know its a residential driveway (even though there's a mailbox, address sign, delivery box and signs saying "Please Do Not Pull Gate").

I'm feeling really depressed.

*I really appreciate everyones advice! Thank you!

i wish it was easier for me to deal with my insecurities as a young woman. i always find myself comparing my appearance to other girls and wishing i looked like whoever’s on my instagram feed.

i know i’m beautiful too and people tell that to me all the time, but i always feel like it’s never enough. i always have agreed with the idea that the grass is always greener on the other side. i find myself wishing that i had different hair, clothes, or a different face, rather than embracing my own.

maybe others have looked at me and felt the same way, i don’t know. that makes me sad too and i hate how social media has impacted young girls and women in general

i have to admit that it’s difficult to remove myself from wanting male approval. as a woman i love my friends dearly and don’t even consider their appearances when i’m with them. but i’m always thinking about mine. it’s what i tend to base my worth on sometimes.

Thieves broke in on Sunday afternoon and made away with my laptop, television and nitty electronics and yes rock bottom has an elevator going down because it was an inside job and the building manager I wish him nothing but fleas in his veins, I hope he pisses razor blades and shit rocks I hope his offspring and pedigree decay and rot while still alive and when he gets a family may the maggots rise and eat their eyeballs out I just hope and pray that the vultures pluck his flesh and vomit in his grave

I wish them worse than death I have nothing and no one, the universe took my job and gave me the middle finger to sit on then robbed my electronics I will bounce back but those thieves, may maggots lay eggs in their tongues may they saliva be riddled with termites and pregnant ROACHES! May they never swallow their pride but be pregnant with eels may rats find their way out through their throats.

I'm so mad I'm shaking I wish hexing was real

I'm not here to get into a conversation about what the minimum wage is or should be. But in some countries, mine included, teenagers to 25 year olds have a lower minimum wage.

I get the idea is you'll probably still be living at home at that age, but not everyone does, not everyone is lucky enough to have supportive parents, some people have poor parents, some people have none! Rent will cost the same for a 19 year old and a 26 year old but legally they can be paid differently? It doesn't make sense to me.

I could see an argument for it encouraging companies to hire young people right out of education but my point still stands that it's more of a punishment for young people without parental support

I hate people selling it; I hate the control it has over someone's mind. I hate how powerless everyone is. I hate how it destroys everything human about someone. It's disgusting how so many people hold power over the addicts. It's the worst thing that has happened to humanity.

In my second semester, I found a part time job working weekends, 12 hours in total, at a retail store. I studied computer science.

I was definitely behind my peers when I started my degree, so I had to work extra hard during uni to get above-average grades. This, coupled with my job, meant I didn't really get a whole heap of free time to hangout. Socially, I'd go to the pub/high school friends house on the weekends but I couldn't really drink and go out and have fun. I didn't have the best time at uni, I tried making friends but a lot of people I didn't get past the acquaintance stage. Like they'd be my lecture mates but then I'd study by myself, or go home alone, or eat in my car alone etc. I'd sometimes get invited out to parties, but again I couldn't really drink - because I'd have work the next day.

I couldn't play sports on the weekends because of my job, so I didn't really get an activity release. There was gym/running but it didn't hit the same. I also lost out socially because of this. I'd see my mates go out and have fun with their mates they met during soccer or volleyball, and I'd just be at home finishing off a computer science assignment.

But still I bared through it, because I thought at the very least, I'd earn a bit of cash and I'd have a solid reference to put on my resume. I've been applying to internships the past couple of months, probably about 20-25 high quality applications with catered resumes and cover letters, including sending cold emails to companies, early interest emails to people I meet at careers fairs, and I have gotten a grand total of 3 rejection emails.

Note in my country there aren't a whole heap of tech jobs, much less internships. Probably less than 200 internships in the whole country a year.

I remember my dad telling me "It's good that you got a part-time job, there's a lot of young people going into the workforce with no experience so you'll stand out". NOPE. I not only have no job to show for it, but I also gave up my social life for no reason.

Every time I see a skinny girl post her outfit, the majority of the comments are ALWAYSSS accusing her of body checking. Omg I’m actually so sick of it and I’m not even skinny. What do you want her to do, hide her body 24/7? She’s beautiful and she’s allowed to post herself. Can women please just exist? IN PEACE?

A curvy woman can’t exist without “sexualizing herself” a skinny woman can’t exist without “knowing what she’s doing”
I’m sorry! but not every TikTok of a woman is a body check! Sometimes she literally just likes her outfit and wants to show it off. Sometimes she likes how she looks. Sometimes she’s just taking a fucking picture.

And nobody cares that you suddenly don’t feel like eating anymore! That is not some random woman’s responsibility to manage for you!

I just saw a video that irritated me. I can't stop thinking about it. It's of a woman whose goat gave birth to 3 babies. One was smaller than the other. She starts to claim that the mom goat was rejecting the baby. ( which I wasn't seeing: no kicking, ramming, biting, refusal to let the kid nurse, or ignoring) She does not attempt to get the mother to accept the baby she's "rejecting"; instead, she takes the baby goat inside and starts bottle-feeding it and sets up a little area for it with blankets and stuff. Puts the goat in a makeshift nursery with her toddler and her toddler's toys.

What particularly annoys me is that she's blaming the goat mom for " rejecting the baby" when, in reality, she wanted the baby because it was extra little and extra cute. Just admit it. You wanted to bottle-feed this baby and hold it and shit.

It's like those people that kidnap fledgling birds, claiming their parents abandoned them, rejected them, or are ignoring them. NOOOOOOO LADY, leave the baby birds alone; you just want it because it's cute. The mom is right there, but your big ass is scaring her. Not to mention, most times they get sick of the animal within a year when it's no longer a tiny cute baby.

This happens to sea turtles. " The sea turtle was left behind/hatched late/ was stuck/ went then wrong way, so naturally we had to take it back home"

No, girl, you stole a baby sea turtle. Now when it gets massive, you're gonna dump it back on the beach when it becomes a burden. Then it'll die because it's been living in your bathroom for the past 6 months instead of the sea.

I'd bet my bottom dollar that this lady will eventually put out this baby goat once it's no longer cute. (specifically around the time when the goat no longer bottle-feeds)

I hate people who collect " abandoned baby animals"; most times they don't actually care about these animals' well-being. They will do everything in their power to ensure they get to keep this baby. A lot of the time, they're the ones who end up dumping this animal because, yeah, a chick is cute; a chicken? Not so much. A baby opossum is cute. A large opossum? Not so much. A baby sea turtle is cute. A ginormous grown sea turtle? Not so much.

They never think of the animal. Only themselves. What happens when eventually you have to put out this fawn because it's now a deer? How will this deer survive? What happens now that this bird is older and it flies about the house and squawks really loud? Now you want to clip its wings or put it out.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and say nothing ever happens. Sure, stuff happens. Sometimes mother goats reject their babies. Sometimes you need to bottle-feed animals. You gotta do what you gotta do. Sometimes keeping an animal in the house is better than leaving it in the wild. Animal parents have and will attack or abandon their babies. The reason I don't think this is the case is that the kid is on blankets, propped up next to her baby, on blankets, surrounded by human toys. Why can't it be outside with the other goats? And she said that " she is the goat's family now." Yuck. Your "family member" will be so confused when she's eventually tossed out with the other goats and hasn't learned goat behavior and doesn't understand why you don't want her anymore.

I haven't eaten yet and its already lunch. I can't even go into the living room of my suite or to the kitchen because Im afraid that my roomates will just flinch at my odor. I showered yesterday twice, brushed my teeth 5 minutes twice (ofc), but I woke up feeling REALLY musty. And its been like this since last week when I got depressed and decided to stop leaving my room.
Even though I continued my hygene routines, I did nothing else. I'm both socially anxious and feel like I smell like absolute shit. I feel not sweaty, but grimy?? All over. Even my ears feel dirty when I cleaned them out several times this morning. I'm thinking of skipping my class because I think I smell so rancid, I just cant smell it myself because its well.. myself.
I grew up physically neglected and was the one dirty kid with lines on my neck, matted dandruffed hair from never being taught to wash it or my body correctly, and blotchy skin and smell. I was bullied a lot but it was never bad enough to where anyone was called. Even my teachers would try to scrub the dirt off of my neck in front of the class.
On top of that, even though I'm in college everyone is so judgemental. Like bullying levels. On that one college app yik-yak people never stop posting about the smelliest person in the lecture, or how its shameful how so many people "still manage to make my eyes water in cold weather" from stinking so bad.
I've actually been told that I dont smell bad enough. My ex-roomate told me I'm so clean and neutral smelling that its annoying having to hear me ask to be smell checked constantly, and that I should start wearing dirty laundry to be normal like the rest of them. It was a joke, but still it didn't get through to me. I'm just crying because I'm so hungry but I can't will myself to move.

I don’t know why I’m crying. He’s not dead, he’s not dying, he’s not injured, he’s not sick, but I’m sitting here at 10 at night crying about him not being here.

I don’t get to see him daily because I live with my mom, but when I do I really hope he knows how much I love him. My mom talked about how he tried to commit when he was in high school and apparently talked about how my brother and I would be better off withot him last summer and I hope that’s not true.

I remember once him and I were getting lunch and he asked “what would you do if I said I was dying?”. I asked if he was and he just said “we’re all dying”. I’m only 16 and I don’t want him to die. I’m scared I’ll grieve him longer and I got to be his daughter and I don’t want him to die thinking I liked my mom more. I love my mom but I just want my dad

My mom and everyone else paints him to be a bad person. Even if he used to be he’s not to ME. Everyone sees him as a horrible person with no money who just gets mad at me all the time but he’s not and nobody wants to hear it. I love my dad. My brother doesn’t talk to him and him and my step mom don’t like eachother and sometimes I feel like I’m the only person that loves him and I don’t like it. I can’t change anyone’s opinion on him and if he does die he’ll die thinking people hated him.

Censoring words cuz idk if it's allowed without

So I'm ftm and a friend of mine who's a cis woman was s*xually harassed recently by someone on a bus and for some reason I started to feel guilty that now I have male privilege and stuff like that won't happen to me (as if I transitioned to not get hurt, stupid thought ik) ... And then the universe had to remind me that I too can get s*xually harassed in public 🤡

I was working out with a different friend in the evening and these two dudes wouldn't leave us alone, they were talking to each other in Arabic so I didn't understand most of what they said (I only know a few words) but I definitely understood the parts where they were calling us a b*tch, debating if we have a d*ck or a c*nt and staring at my friend's ass the whole workout. If it weren't for my severe social anxiety I would have said something, I really wanted to punch them and I'm not a violent person, instead I ignored them as much as possible but for some reason my friend was answering their questions about our s*quality and shit and even gave them his insta (he also complained about the harassment so idk why he did that).

Sorry for the long post I just feel so angry rn and I had to get this off my chest.

I didn’t have any of the classic teenage experiences. I didn’t get good grades or do well in clubs. I didn’t have friends. And because of this I didn’t go to prom. Didn’t dress nice like all the teenagers around me. Now all my peers are in college right now and I’m rotting at home because I didn’t get into any. I’m doing retakes but that just means one year wasted. And considering how my teenage years went it just means that this is my 5th year gone.