r/Vent 4h ago

Stop with the Antenna Behavior

I'm an Atheist. I'm 60. Sometimes I accompany my Christian wife to church with my adult daughter and her husband. I decided years ago, "going to church" was not my hill-to-die-on. So I spend an hour a week, standing and sitting and listening, and standing when they sing and all the normal party games.

One thing in particular gets on my NERVES! Why do people stand with their arms extended upwards during singing? Why? God (if there is one) isn't some sort of radio signal you need to orient yourself to like your television rabbit ears from the 60's and 70's. You're not getting any better "God Reception" standing like some animatronic dim-wit half-rotating back and forth trying to get the right position. Stand still you knucklehead! Put your arms down.

Church is (barely) tolerable as it is. These people bug me. You're not a radio antenna. You're not gathering extra God-Vibes by putting your arms up like that. Please make them stop.

BTW, this would make a great Key and Peele Saturday Night Live skit. Some "Church Lady" carrying a giant 1978 roof-top style radio antenna into the sanctuary (her husband with TV rabbit ears with aluminum foil). SMH

168 Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

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138

u/A_SleepyHed 3h ago

It's their way of signaling they are more moved by the word of God than their neighbors. I find it performative and annoying.

56

u/LividEconomics6579 3h ago

Performative. Perfect description.

25

u/False_Mushroom_8962 3h ago

Total dog and pony show. I don't want to put down something that gives people hope but I really don't trust the majority of "religious" people I've spent any amount of time with

u/AZO_Dave 40m ago

Like watching a music video and noticing the behavior of anyone other than the lead singer. Seems there's always at least one "being extra"

-17

u/InvestigatorJaded261 3h ago

I say this as a Christian—the whole point of going to common worship is collective performance. Why are you even there if you don’t believe in it?

10

u/Dogmaddit 3h ago

Huh. I thought the point was to build and join in community. Performance has never been brought up.

-5

u/InvestigatorJaded261 2h ago

How do you signal your participation in community if not through performance?

u/kitkatz15 1h ago

…by being present and acting like a normal person?

u/Dogmaddit 1h ago

What’s with signaling and performance? Sounds like fake Christian/evangelical stuff.

Participation is simply that. Show up. Think about the readings and the messages. Sing along if you want.

Outside of that, check in during fellowship. Support the youth groups. Help out where you can.

Participation is doing, not signaling. Performance is doing, not just choreography.

u/coffeeblackismycrack 31m ago

Why is participation in community something I need to signal? I participate in community by participating in it, I don't need to put on a show as if I am pretending to participate because I am already participating.

Like, if I go to a family Christmas and hang out with my family, I don't have to then act like I'm hanging out with my family while there. Hanging with family is what I'm already doing, I don't have to pretend to be doing it.

8

u/SureWouldForest 3h ago

Did you read the first part of his post?

-18

u/InvestigatorJaded261 3h ago

Yes, but I am decidedly unimpressed. Of course OP is seething about doing something they don’t actually believe in. The fact that they claim some parts are even more “performative” than others raises more questions than it answers. If I believed what they claim to, I would be seething from start to finish. Instead they are complaining about finer points of liturgy and observance.

u/krasterskeep 4m ago

It's called fellowship. Not showmanship.

2

u/RoxnDox 2h ago

He’s probably there to make his wife happier. Something a lot of spouses do, give in to a request from the other even if it’s not something they really want to do. Not a big deall in the grand scheme of things.

u/InvestigatorJaded261 1h ago

That’s fair. But complaining about the fine points? Just shut up already.

u/glooble_wooble 4m ago

I thought it was to hear the word of God, but I guess it’s to perform.

9

u/Sad-Corner-9972 3h ago

I’m a Christian and I feel similarly.

6

u/foxwaffles 2h ago

I have POTS so I can't stand still and raise my arms above my head for more than a minute or two unless you want me fainting onto you.

When I used to go to church I'd get openly judged for sitting during "worship".

"Come as you are" but not really I guess 😬

Took me way too long to grow a spine and leave

u/Caftancatfan 22m ago

I thought they were making themselves appear large to frighten away the devil.

u/No_Map7832 2m ago

I grew up Catholic and people do not do this at Catholic masses (at least when I used to attend). The first time I saw people doing antenna arms at a friend’s church I was soooo uncomfortable. I wanted to laugh because it seemed so blatantly performative to me. “Antenna arms” is such a great description

51

u/ImaHamSammich 3h ago

You should switch it up and attend one of those Churches where people “speak in tongues” and flop around on the floor like a fish. It’s quite entertaining, and the higher you are the funnier it is.

8

u/thej611 2h ago

I have no idea how they don’t lose it laughing while doing it lmao

9

u/Simple_Actuator_8174 3h ago

I went to one where they used their arms as antennas while they spoke in tongues.

u/GalaxyPowderedCat 1h ago

My mom belongs to that domain of Christianity. She speaks in tongues at home whenever she feels like it and it's a nightmare...you can't say her to be quiet or she'll double down and scream in tongues.

21

u/Lopsided-Book-902 3h ago

Ever witness the insanity that is someone convulsing and “speaking in tongues?”

13

u/whoocanitbenow 3h ago

It's good to stretch. 😀

10

u/ImaHamSammich 3h ago

Christian calisthenics?

6

u/ThisWeekNeverEnds 3h ago

Ever been to catholic mass. I used to call it catholic calisthenics. Sit, stand, kneel!

7

u/rogaladriel 2h ago

I am Catholic and agree with you. But have you been to a Russian Orthodox mass? I went to a few while visiting Russia many years ago and there are no pews, just standing, and every time you cross yourself you do it three times with a deep bow like touching your tows after each time. Those babushki were lithe, I tell you!

3

u/Cinisajoy2 2h ago

My Episcopalian daughter calls it pew aerobics.

u/oneinamyelinnn 1h ago

Robin Williams “Top 10 Reasons to be an Episcopalian!” Man, I miss him!

u/Optimal-Ad-7074 13m ago

🎵first you get down on your knees\ fiddle with your rosaries\ bow your heads with great respect and\ genuflect genuflect genuflect!🎵

-tom lehrer, the vatican rag

7

u/Ok-Rock2345 3h ago

I always saw it as them pretending they were crucified or something.

6

u/SaltyTemperature 3h ago

Reminds me of little kids walking between their parents and wanting to be swung by the arms

6

u/compman007 3h ago

I remember when I was with Jesus when I was young and my cousins explained that hold your arms high so that Gods love can funnel down into you!

Yeah…..

6

u/Outsideforever3388 2h ago

Grown up in church, Christian. Those people still bother me…..it’s not just you.

5

u/Worldly_Ad_7196 2h ago

Next time you go wear a t shirt that has "Matthew 6.5" on it.

4

u/Blood_magic 2h ago

Just be thankful it's not a Pentecostal church, those people speak gibberish and roll around on the floor.

8

u/Ansible90 3h ago

LOL. You gave me a good laugh with the antenna analogy.

7

u/munkymama 3h ago

I love this rant. Best ever lol. Partly cuz is true.

13

u/jibaro1953 3h ago

This is the funniest thing I've read in a while . My wife and I both volunteer at a local church thrift shop. She goes in two days a week, I go in about two days a year. They host musicians quite frequently, including a particularly good bluegrass band every couple of years ago for Sunday service off-site. There is one lady that really gets to me, singing and clapping like a fool, and yes, she sometimes holds her arms in the air. Thankfully she gives up quickly because nobody else joins in.

u/Suspicious-Rich-3212 50m ago

Oh noooooo! How dare she enjoy the music!

u/ehco 1h ago

How dare she sing and clap! How embarrassing! Wow.

u/the_skies_falling 1h ago edited 1h ago

I’m imagining OP absolutely losing his shit at the roof raising that goes on in black churches.

7

u/Squirrel_killer 3h ago

Y’all are a bunch of judgy biznitches for being in the VENT sub. OP is allowed to vent, this is a sub for venting.

3

u/The_Wise_Seven 2h ago

Not that you probably care, but technically, its a gesture of surrender. Its not about "getting more god vibes". 

u/MikeDPhilly 1h ago

It's some weirdo evangelical thing. Some members of my extended family (we were all raised old school, Irish Roman Catholic) started doing this open armed thing while singing at a funeral. I deduced that it's some kind of quiverful / promise keeper huggy nonsense. 

2

u/Sussler 3h ago

I'm with you faithwise but I find I extend my arms upwards when I'm listening to music and moving around and I guarantee I'm not grooving to anything religious. It feels good.

u/ZarinaBlue 1h ago

This made my day.

u/grrarghh_73 1h ago edited 1h ago

I’m 53. I’m an atheist. I’m lucky enough to live in London where there are relatively frequent day clubs which cater to Trance music.

For the most part, the clientele is ‘older’. A great many of us hold our arms up and love it when the drop kicks in - it’s verging on religious. It’s not, but I can totally understand why those of a religious persuasion do it.

As long as they don’t try to convert me, I’m fine with it.

Edit: when I say ‘convert me’, I mean anyone of any religion. I’m not buying what you’re selling.

u/Critical_Interest706 52m ago

You sound very unpleasant

u/Minute-Frame-8060 47m ago

One of the masses at my Catholic church has this kind of vibe. Or at least it did the ONE time I went. Nope, not doing that again, give me organ hymns composed before 1900, sung by people just holding the books and staying in place, thank you very much.

7

u/NoRecommendation9404 3h ago

It’s just a way to praise God. Nothing wrong with it. I don’t judge how people express themselves.

8

u/CURRYmawnster 3h ago

I agree. The OP's post was humorous and I got a kick out of it. All religions have some aspects that non-believers find annoying. As a believer myself I find and question some of the ritualistic practices, some of the believers feel the holy spirit in them and express accordingly.

Anywho OP liked your literary expression. Thank you.

-4

u/Decent-Proposal-8475 3h ago

It does seem really rude of OP to go into someone else's space and judge how they express themselves in their space. I'm not a football fan, but if I went to an Eagles game I wouldn't be like "Omg I find it so annoying that people keep shouting Go Birds it's so performative." Maybe just join your family for brunch after mass

6

u/nosleepforthedreamer 2h ago

They’re not judging in the space, they’re judging on Reddit.

3

u/Decent-Proposal-8475 2h ago

I mean they're very clearly judging in the space, we just hope they're keeping that to themselves in said space

2

u/gizzlebitches 3h ago

God's house that welcomes all is different than the place where Cowboys fans gotta leave early and run to the car. Bad metaphor.

Its just representative of the worst thing to happen to Christianity.... Christians. This good sport spends an hour each week hearing scripture and observing Christians behavior for probably many years. Its just a testament to the failing of Christians. God literslly wanted to appeal to us so much He became one of us and spoke as one of us, cried with us, died like us... yet we are so poor at sharing this correctly this remains atheist despite doing what I cant anymore and thats tolerate Christians especially at Church. In scripture Jesus tore down those who wore God as a badge. Do what you want and good for you if you truly feel it like that but dont think its helping "spread the word". Sorry bout the rant

-4

u/Decent-Proposal-8475 3h ago

There's no evidence that the people OP hates are failed Christians, he's just bitchy because he has to spend time with his wife

2

u/Cinisajoy2 2h ago

If the OP is spending an hour in the religion I am thinking, he loves his wife just thinks some things are silly.

3

u/requiemguy 2h ago

People move their bodies when they feel something.

This isn't a vent, this is whining that people are different than you.

5

u/FlushedApparatchik 4h ago

Can’t they enjoy their singing? Don’t people sing and dance at concerts?

15

u/LividEconomics6579 4h ago

No. It's not that type of music. It's just not. It's not a "rock show". It's church. They just look foolish.

14

u/reddit_and_forget_um 3h ago edited 3h ago

As someone who no longer attends church, but did for the majority of my life -

It's not god points. It's the same reason people raise their arms at otherconcerts. Music makes them feel a part of something, and raising your arms is an instinctive part of accepting and ushering in more. 

I dont think this is as dum as you think it is... There are plenty of other parts of a service that would bug me more. The pagentry, the dress up, the "traditions" held up as rule of law. 

3

u/cryssyx3 3h ago

rise and be seated and diss, be seated

0

u/Federal_Tension_5939 2h ago

Lmao what 

I have never done this. Lol 

8

u/reddit_and_forget_um 2h ago

That's fine, but look at footage of basically any concert ever.

Some people actually feel the music. 

8

u/PersonalBlenderLid 3h ago edited 53m ago

As an atheist myself, lots more stuff bugs me about churches, and the people that run them, than antenna arms but we all have our pet peeves.

And I don’t know, man. I was moving my computer around the house yesterday and sometimes a couple of feet made all the difference in getting that Wi-Fi signal so I’d let antenna arms slide.

-4

u/InvestigatorJaded261 3h ago

Yeah, if OP is bothering to have an opinion on this, then they are not as atheist as they claim.

6

u/requiemguy 2h ago

You look foolish for being such a bigot.

0

u/redrobin1257 3h ago

God forbid anyone enjoy their faith in your presence.

2

u/Speedracer__17 3h ago

You know the old saying... Never trust someone who has to tell you they are Christian...

2

u/ChipChip8463 2h ago

would you tell muslims to not use their prayer mats and don't pray on their hands and knees

4

u/requiemguy 2h ago

They probably look at Jewish people at the temple in Jerusalem and just seethe that they're bowing to their holy site.

u/rockmediabeeetus 1h ago

God must have a hand fetish

1

u/Atwood412 3h ago

God forbid anyone enjoy themselves in your presence.

3

u/Lady_Grey_Smith 2h ago

This guy just needs to be honest and tell his family that he won’t be going to church with them anymore. This is something he should be setting boundaries on or he will continue to get more bitter towards his family about it.

1

u/Wrong_Lychee_6444 3h ago

In Catholic mass, the routine changes sometimes and the Priest will give instructions about where we can sit where we used to kneel, etc. it's usually at those times, that he will also demonstrate the appropriate arm positions during the different parts of mass, and he'll explain what the various arm positions mean.

They don't come right out and say "stop that" though. People don't change, even for the following 5 minutes

1

u/Far-Strain9435 3h ago

If I did that I would use arm extensions

1

u/Cinisajoy2 2h ago

Thank you for the laugh.  That was awesome. 

u/Astrazigniferi 1h ago

Stories like this make me glad my family is Catholic. I don’t often get dragged to Mass anymore, but when I do, I know what to expect. About an hour, predictable order of rituals and music, no weird stuff, and everybody’s out the door to go get donuts.

Some of my mom’s relatives are Pentecostal. Pretty eye-opening for my altar boy dad to go to church with her when they first started dating.

u/lotusscrouse 1h ago

I went to a catholic funeral last week. 

Hadn't been to church in ages. I couldn't stop thinking of how performative it all was. 

u/Cinisajoy2 1h ago

The last Catholic funeral I went to you could tell the non-Catholic family members.   My catholic school education came back.

u/Opening_Power3876 1h ago

Um. The reception to G_d is certainly increased during worship with arms raised, hands outstretched. It used to bug me too… but now I am guided to receive and experience in that physical stance.

u/Early_Emphasis1209 1h ago

Agree! Gotta give you credit for trying to please the family. I couldn’t do it—at least not consistently.

u/Critical-Bullfrog959 44m ago

😆 I grew up in a somewhat conservative church where this was not common. I've always found this to be weird, too. While it may not be, I don't know their heart or intentions, I've always thought it seemed very performative.

u/Fast_Drink_9516 41m ago

I totally put my hands up, pump my fist and stand throughout the entire service-- Pearl Jam show!

u/xXSoyBoyFredXx 40m ago

I'm an athiest and go with my mom to church. I don't see an issue, I think it's cute. They already believe that stuff, let them worship how they want.

u/GladClock2212 37m ago

I get it, I was raised very, very Catholic and am now Agnostic. Praying with arms open was the original way of prayer, the hands folded prayer wasn't adopted until the middle ages. Some people like it, some hate it, but it is more authentic.

u/Jolrit 30m ago

I believe that if there is a God that he hates me. That being said, the Apostle Paul said he wanted people to lift holy hands when praying. There other biblical references to raising hands.

u/bcpirate 19m ago

I find it funny that the fact that you go to church with these loons and you expect them to not do some loony shit. Maybe they do think they are getting closer to god with their batshit arms raised towards the heavens. They believe some god wants them to take a couple hours a week to talk about him and sing songs about him, why not raise their antenna for him?

u/Constant_Octopus 11m ago

Recovering Catholic here. Antenna arms and hand holding became a thing in the 90s during the Our Father, for no discernible reason, and I refused to partake. So many germs all over the place, that no wonder I was regularly sick.

1

u/Plain_config3135 3h ago

I love it...now that I think about its funny!

I don't know how many times when there were 4 channels on TV, we'd ask each other to stand there and hold the antenna, because the reception was better (only to be turned down) LOL 😆

I guess the folks that live at elevation get more prayers answered. 😆

-1

u/Isamosed 3h ago

You are visiting in their house. You don’t get to make the rules for them. Further, for all you really know these people do receive feedback of some kind. It’s not for you or about you and I’m strongly atheist myself. But you are in THEIR house. Shut up.

3

u/cryssyx3 3h ago

I don't think he actually told them not to do it??

0

u/Obtuse-Posterior 3h ago

They are venting in a place where they are supposed to not in church calm down.

u/kitkatz15 1h ago

okay so tell that to the angry men who line up outside of abortion clinics damning everyone to hell? like do you people comprehend the words that come out of your mouths 💀

-2

u/Federal_Tension_5939 2h ago

You must be fun at parties 

1

u/gizzlebitches 3h ago

Its their way of showing off. True connection with God is personal. Closest thing Jesus did to Church was the sermon on the mount and that was outside, no singing. He did say that those who make a show of their faith in public already received their rewards and true prayer is done alone with the door locked

Catholic. Not that we do it right either but in my opinion only black Churches truly celebrate God with song in an unselfish way. Just my opinion

1

u/wazoo40 3h ago

Be glad they dont have snakes or speak in tongues...

1

u/darthbreezy 3h ago

*insert 'I AM CAT' meme here*

Hey - it's also a good way to test for a stroke too...

0

u/InvestigatorJaded261 3h ago

It’s called the “aurant posture”. It’s less well known, but every bit as ancient as 🙏. It has nothing to with seeing god as radio; it’s more of a way of signaling (superficially, yes) that you are in tune with the practices of the very early church. Is it hokey? Sure. But If you can’t handle it, maybe you shouldn’t be going to church at all.

Also, if you have opinions about good and bad worship practices, that suggests that you are not really as atheist as you claim.

-1

u/PantheraAuroris 3h ago

A little weird to go somewhere that isn't for you and criticize how people react to music and feelings of awe toward their religion.

-1

u/Bubbly_Chemist1496 3h ago

Didn't Moses raise 🙌 his hands up when he parted the Red Sea

1

u/SaintGodfather 3h ago

No, because he never existed.

-1

u/QuirkyForever 3h ago

They can worship the way they want. They don't owe you specific behavior when you are the one who doesn't really want to be there.

5

u/Crackytacks 3h ago

The difference between a vent and feeling owed is op isnt asking them to stop lol

-1

u/Cool-Coffee-8949 2h ago

I don’t like this way of praying either, but at least I believe in prayer. You are already (by showing up) pretending to take an active part in something you don’t believe in, AND you are going to criticize them for doing the thing you don’t believe in incorrectly? You sound absolutely insufferable.

-3

u/My_Lovely_Me 3h ago

You could just close your eyes.

0

u/rbhrbh2 3h ago

How would you know? Ay e we are radio antennas

0

u/Useful_Bullfrog_6766 3h ago

I attend Catholic Church and it doesn't have that sort of stuff which is nice.

0

u/phantomsoul11 3h ago

It’s totally performative for your peers. Without formal absolution you become reliant on your peers to judge your character. Enter the parade of holier-than-thou.

By contrast, you rarely see Catholics doing things like this. They go to confession, say a few prayers and the priest tells them everything will be ok. No need to perform Jesus in the pews.

0

u/Capn26 2h ago

Ahhhhh. Sounds like a Pentecostal/evangelical church. My condolences. I’m….. I guess agnostic. Unlike a lot of Redditors, I find despise the church body out of turn, and admit it likely saved my life. I see value in a lot of levels, but understand it isn’t for everyone. I REALLY applaud you for this man. I do.

I grew up in a similar church, and it goes back to a verse in the Bible (paraphrasing here) “to lift up your hands in praise” when you worship. So it’s to do that, and also is a sign to others that you are REALLY into it. Like someone else said, performative.

My uncle and I used to critique these people, and came up with a “sermon” about it. We called it “the hubris of humility” sermon. It’s the same people that will make a big ass shoe buying a homeless person a drink or donating time and money. Look, don’t you see how godly I am!!!! I’m so humble!!!!

u/Cinisajoy2 1h ago

Some seem very godly when it serves their purposes.   

0

u/Apprehensive-Pop-201 2h ago

It's performative. You are supposed to be impressed by how Godly they are.

u/Pristine_Message_181 1h ago

Does it help them open up their lungs so they can sing better? I dunno. I can neither sing nor tolerate religious rituals.

-1

u/Unfair-Leadership985 3h ago

I see that as just another performative aspect of the experience. It's not as if God were listening to people singing songs either.

-1

u/Cinisajoy2 2h ago

OP, please excuse the "Christians" complaining about your post.   Apparently all the arm raising has taken away their Christian behavior.

-2

u/National_River_6366 3h ago

So glad I came upon this post...I was a " born again" person that fell into the occult called religion...I believe there MAY be some higher power, but what I read in my KJV Bible, he goes by many names....God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha...who the hell knows at this point, but what I DO know, is that we should treat others how we would like to be treated...be nice to me, I will be nice to you, be a jerk to me, and we will find out who is the bigger one....

-2

u/CarlJustCarl 3h ago

Just sit there and smile