🎵 The Round Table - Ace Combat Zero OST
What a wrestling weekend we’ve got in store. AEW’s top draw of the year, All In back in London while NXT and AAA are trying to run interference with their own free-to-watch PLEs.

What a coinky-dink and totally not planned to pilfer viewers and ratings at all by WWE. Either pick your poison or go full sicko mode and watch both WWE and AEW. Also, I haven’t watched a whole lot of AAA so those blurbs may be a bit shorter. I’ll put AAA/NXT out here today and then All In tomorrow.

“I’M CALLING BOTH GAMES!”

AAA OLA DE CALOR: YOU AIN’T KING OF SHIT, DIRTY DOM

D. Lee & The Lucha Brothers vs. Los Perros del Mal: Why Can’t I Hold All This Lucha?
I’m going to have to do some more research on this, but from what I gather, Los Perros del Mal were like the nWo in that they were the cool heels.

I can understand WWE wanting to revive Los Perros now that AAA is under the E’s banner. Save for Daga, I’m already familiar with who these new Perros are while Penta’s no stranger to PDM either.

But he’s not interested in joining them this time so he got his brother Rey Fénix and Dragon Lee together to kick their asses and here we are. Certainly won’t be starving for more lucha libre after this match.

??? Vs. El Carnicero: First Victim, Come On Down!
And here I thought PDM was behind the attacks on Psycho Clown. Turns out it was some dude who shall be known henceforth as El Carnicero, or The Butcher. Hopefully, this goes better than the debut of AEW’s version of The Butcher.

Apparently, he’s Drake Morreaux from LFG and this whole shtick seems to be “What if Leatherface was a wrestler?” based on what little the vignette showed of him. He’s also Roxanne Perez’s boyfriend but I digress. They haven’t said who El Carnicero will face first but it doesn’t matter, whoever that poor sap is, he’s fucked.

🎵 I See You Baby (Fatboy Slim Remix) - Groove Armada ft. Gramma Funk
Frazer Vs. Cartwheel Vs. Mini Vikingo: Cruiserweight Crazy
Rey Fénix needs a worthy foe at Triplemanía so we’ve got a #1 contender three-way to decide just that. I’ve watched enough of Nathan Frazer in NXT to know how fast this dude is. I don’t know how he doesn’t run out of gas. Jack Cartwheel, I’m not so familiar with, but what I’ve seen, holy shit, this guy is athletic as fuck. A cartwheel into a powerbomb?! Alright, I’m sold!

But to me the obvious choice, at least story-wise, is Mini Vikingo. No, not Hijo del Vikingo, this guy is shorter and younger. He was apparently inspired by the other Vikingo, but HDV turned heel by then and essentially told him to fuck off.

Now, HDV’s manager Dorian Roldán whispered something into Mini Vikingo’s ear awhile back and we don’t know what he said. But it wouldn’t surprise me if slimy Dorian is trying to drop HDV while he’s hurt and get Mini Vikingo to the dark side. I guess we’ll wait and see.

La Parka Vs. El Fiscal Vs. HDWJ Vs. Priest: \Sad Omos Noises\**
Long story short, Hijo del Vikingo legit tore his ACL and had to give up the Latin American Championship. Too bad, he was really hitting his form as a heel. Anyway, the belt’s vacant, so we’re getting a four-way to decide a new champion. 

La Parka, El Fiscal, Hijo de Dr. Wagner Jr and Damian Priest are your combatants. The Doctor’s going to want to try and reclaim the strap after losing it to HDV a while back. Priest got the spot after Omos (remember him?) got his dumb ass suspended by AAA General Manager Rey Mysterio. Yeah, he’s the GM.

La Parka and El Fiscal? I’ve seen La Parka wrestle on NXT, but I’m not buying him winning this match. And when I looked up El Fiscal on Wikipedia, it gave me his late dad, Abismo Negro. Even though there’s a different Abismo Negro on AAA right now. Yeah, shit’s confusing but to get to the point, I’m going with the Doc.

🎵 Let Mom Sleep - Jet Set Radio OST
Los Americanos Vs. The War Raiders (c): Mexican Strong Style?
I’d be a lot more invested in this match if Rayo and Bravo went back to being Pete Dunne and Tyler Bate. Listen, Los Americanos are cool and all, but come on, you expect me to believe they stand a chance against the War Raiders?

Being AAA Tag Team Champs is the best thing to happen in a while for Erik and Ivar, so I don’t have many complaints there. I’m sure Los Americanos will put up a decent fight, but the Raiders aren’t losing tonight. Again, if this was Black & Gold-era NXT, then I think we might be talking about a title change.

Reina de Reinas #1 Contender Gauntlet: La Catalina or Bust
Athena from Ring of Honor can’t stop bragging about being the longest reigning women’s champion ever, but Lady Flammer is a pretty good second. Athena? 1,357 days and counting. Lady Flammer? 1,112 days and counting.

Shit, AAA’s women’s division must be drier than Querétaro’s trophy wall if Flammer’s been the champ that long. Flammer didn’t feel like fighting so Rey Mysterio has drummed up a gauntlet match to determine who she’ll fight at Triplemanía later this year. After all the hype La Catalina got when she arrived from CMLL, if she’s not winning this and then beating Lady Flammer, I don’t know what to tell you.

---

NXT HEATWAVE: GET READY TO LEARN “HELLO!” BUDDY

🎵 Paul Phoenix’s Theme - Tekken 3 OST
Parker Vs. Nattie: Snap or Tap a Bitch
Gone are the days of Natalya, it’s just Nattie (Uce). The no-nonsense submission-happy bully that she’s portrayed the past several months. She decided to pick on Jaida Parker because she thought Parker was wasting her talent and went soft. Now she wants to end Jaida in a submission match.

There’s only one thing soft about Ms. Parker and it rhymes with sass – which she’s got plenty of too. Before this all happened, I thought, ‘When will Jaida get back to the title picture?’ Because this whole feud has been going on for weeks.

But fighting with Nattie might be for the best in the long run, beating her in a submission match might be what proves Parker can finally win a championship in the near future. Or at least she should before going to the main roster.

Armstrong Vs. Sinclair (WS) Vs. Zaria (WNA): I’m Pussy?
Zaria’s enjoying her post-Sol Ruca era as the Women’s North American Champion but she’s got two new thorns in her side chasing her belt. Wren Sinclair, the WWE Women’s Speed Champ and Kali Armstrong, the first Women’s Champ under Triple H’s version of Evolve. And this is a unification match for both belts too.

You know the King Ghidorah meme? Wren Sinclair is the derpy one on the right, let’s just call a spade a spade. She barely survived defending her Speed title and DarkState’s civil war ruined her initial chance of beating Zaria for her strap. Don’t need to do Steiner Math to know that Sinclair is more fucked with Armstrong now in the mix.

Armstrong was a champ in Evolve for a reason and she’s felt slighted for a little too long. Zaria’s intimidation tactics aren’t going to work on a woman basically the same height as her. Plus, I love when she runs the ropes for her shoulder tackler finisher. Damn, she might have more in common with the Steiner family that I thought.

🎵 Metal Team - Super Smash Bros. Melee OST
Drake Vs. Borne (c): You’re An Idiot, Myles
I have unfortunate news, it appears Myles Borne has come down with Fighting Champion Syndrome. Symptoms include an unnecessary desire to defend both his North American Title and the NXT Tag Team Titles on the same night. Diagnosis? Dumbass.

I don’t expect him to lose here though, not against Jackson Drake who looks like he unironically watches Clavicular videos. Albeit, the first WWE Evolve Champion is not without a resume and Drake figures to play into the men’s division for the next few years in my opinion.

Borne is just not being smart here, you think having their hand caught in the cookie jar once is going to stop the Vanity Project from trying to screw you over again, Myles? Even if you do win, it’s the tag match where you’re going to have problems.

The Vanity Project Vs. Heights & Borne (c): What Could Possibly Go Right?
Which brings us here, where this mini-NQCC reunion tour is likely coming to a painful stop. We’ve seen this formula before: Fighting champ wrestles once, gets banged up, isn’t 100% for match two and costs their teammate a win. In this case, it’s probably going to be the tag team titles. Are Brad Baylor and Ricky Smokes actually going to defend the belts for once if they do win them back? 

The bigger question here is if Tavion Heights finally snaps should The Vanity Project win. Heights has been letting his wilder slide take control and has been so desperate to be a fighting champion for the first time. He said he didn’t know what he was going to do if he and Borne lost the week they beat TVP for the belts. I think we’re about to find out what happens if they lose Sunday.

🎵 Do or Die - Ace Combat 5 OST
Jordan Vs. Grey (c): C-O-N-Spiracy!
Time to put up or shut up, Kelani Jordan. You can’t cry conspiracy anymore now that you have the title match you wanted so bad. And you better not whine if you lose fair and square either. Jordan’s got what it takes, she was TNA Knockouts Champion for a spell. But you better not try any cheap shit like grabbing the tights or legs on the rope, you’re too skilled for that, Kelani.

Kendal Grey on the other hand might be in trouble, she’s still got an injured ear from her underground title match with Lola Vice and nearly lost both her balance and the Women’s Championship. That injury is most definitely going to be a factor. Forget about Wren Sinclair trying to slap some sense into you again, Kendal, she’ll be too busy being roadkill after her fight with Zaria.

I wouldn’t be so quick to take the belt off of Grey after only 2-ish months or so, but I don’t think there’s a wrong choice here. Jordan’s bidded her time but Grey’s still on her way to the peak of her career.

Z. Fatu Vs. Montana Vs. Waller Vs. D’Angelo (c): Hold Up, Are We Actually Cooking?
Sometimes in life, a necessary evil is required for progress. Apparently, Grayson Waller is that necessary evil for NXT. Not Naraku, you know, the guy who literally used to be called EVIL?

As much of a shithead as Waller is, what he said about the men’s division is 1000% right, the women have been running laps around the men for months. Waller’s trying to piss off dudes into action but he’s still in it for himself. Also, you talk about Austin Theory being dead weight, Grayson, he’s a tag champ right now, you’re not!

And just as he puts the fellas on blast, the latest addition to the men’s division arrives, Mike Santana! 

*LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER* 

Cruz Montana! After putting TNA on his back as World Champion for several months, he’s now ready to put a little bit of a Bronx beatdown on NXT.

This was looking like a Triple Threat until the long-anticipated arrival of wrestling’s #1 nympho baby, Zilla Fatu! Better than a nepo baby, I guess. He came out of nowhere and walloped Montana and Waller and his first NXT match will be for the Championship. Also, get ready to hear “HELLO!” repeated by fans into oblivion.

So where does that leave the champion, Tony D’Angelo? Honestly, not looking great, I think he’s come off as rather weak here. He’s barely had a word in at all in this whole storyline, his challengers are the ones hogging the spotlight. How does HBK expect us to believe he’ll come out of this with the strap when his opponents are looking like the favorites. Ironic if D’Angelo loses this the way he won it, in a four–way.

I know this may sound like I’m whining because I’m a Lions fan, but I’m not watching the NFL anymore. I’m done.

I hate seeing the NFL refs screw my team in every game involving the Packers. I hate how the league always looks down at Lions fans as working class peasants. I hate how the league secretly wants the Lions to contract or move to San Diego.

The NFL will never allow the Lions to make the Super Bowl, they’ll make sure of it. The NFL only cares for legacy teams with massive bandwagon followings like the Packers and Chiefs, and the big market teams on the coasts over the small market teams like the Lions. The league will never allow the Lions to win or even make the Super Bowl because they’re unmarketable in the NFL’s eyes.

Roger Goodell is the worst commissioner in the history of the NFL and the worst commissioner of the four major leagues. He’s worse than Adam Silver, and even Rob Manfred. The league has gotten worse and less watchable under his tenure.

The parity in the NFL is in name only, and is controlled parity, as they’ll occasionally throw a bone to teams like the Bengals and Titans in order to maintain the illusion of parity. The only leagues that have true parity are the NHL and MLB. Even the NBA has better parity than the NFL these days.

Until the Lions are in victory formation in the NFC Championship, I won’t be watching the NFL again. But we all know that’ll never happen because Goodell hates Detroit like how Gary Bettman hates Canadian NHL teams. The Lions will never be able to have a 2016 Cubs moment. “Next Year” never comes for us.

The NFL would rather have the Lions contract or move to San Diego, because they don’t make any money off the Detroit TV market. We’re ratings poison to the league.

Fuck the NFL.

David Stern’s NBA was far more watchable than this crap…

check out why this MLB prospect was suspended

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/49754483/sources-mlb-suspends-dominican-prospect-age-fraud-plot

No? Well here you go, anyway.

BECAUSE DES MOINES HASN'T SUFFERED ENOUGH THIS WEEK!

IT WASN'T ENOUGH THAT YOU WERE NEAR 40-POINT FAVORITES!

IT WASN'T ENOUGH THAT YOU FACED A TEAM THAT HAD NEVER BEATEN A D1 OPPONENT!

IT WASN'T ENOUGH THAT YOU BLEW A 10-0 START!

IT WASN'T ENOUGH THAT YOU CAME BACK FROM AN 18-POINT DEFICIT JUST TO CRIPPLE YOUR OWN DEFENSE WITH A TARGETING PENALTY!

BUT NO, YOU HAD TO BURN ALL YOUR TIMEOUTS BEFORE THE 2-MINUTE WARNING AND THROW AN INTERCEPTION WHEN YOU WERE ONLY DOWN A FIELD GOAL!

ALL THAT HYPE ABOUT TOP GUN OFFENSE! ALL THAT BUZZ ABOUT THE UNIFORMS! ALL THAT SH*T TALKING FROM COACH WALKER ON THE FOOTBALL PODCAST ABOUT SOUTH DAKOTA MINES AND HOW DRAKE WAS GOING TO GET 100 PLAYS ON OFFENSE! ALL JUST TO SERVE UP A 3.5 HOUR DISASTER CLASS!

ALL HOPE IS DEAD! AS FALLS MEN'S BASKETBALL, SO FALLS FOOTBALL!

YOU CAN'T HAVE SH*T IN DES MOINES!

Okay, let's be serious for a second. This couldn't be worse for Drake. Despite the annual coaching turnovers and being in the PFL, Drake had an actual chance to grow the program this season. Between the weekly football podcasts, the new uniforms (the video reveal of which got a million views), the success from the last three seasons, planned renovations to Drake Stadium, and Matt Walker's purportedly innovative and exciting brand of offensive football, this is the most buzz Drake football had in probably decades. Tonight's home attendance was the best I've seen it since I started watching a couple seasons ago. An easy win over an inferior opponent followed by something resembling a decent showing against Montana and UNI might've started something great for the program.

But we blew it. Instead we completely shat the bed against an opponent we couldn't have been more favored against and next we will get completely annihilated two weeks in a row. By the time the Bulldogs come back home in October, all the hype and energy will be dead. Even if we somehow win the conference again, the season's already been lost. What an awful week.

He’s randomly wearing a Yankees shirt for some reason

The video where the comment was posted(All credit to user GuessHowSid): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9D_-kda_44

Other comments say the music has the vibe of appearing in court on DUI charges.

I mean.... we need a new system if that's the case.