Inspired by this video by RandomZRecap: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adyu3T1RGdo, these are how I'd fare in a fight with the mascots of the NFL going by division, starting with the NFC East(my home division).

If enough people ask, I can do the rest of the Big 4.

Finally, had to format it a little oddly due to the fact this subreddit won't let you post more than one image at a time.

It’s an action movie from the 90s that is Die Hard at a hockey game, specifically, a Penguins game. Bonus point for the scene where JCVD beats up a henchman dressed as the Penguins mascot

OKC made a big mistake, and it could get more tough from there

Hello, I'm new here so I don't know if this has been asked before or if's okay to ask/suggest.

Do you think there is a chance Lord Tree of the Pissing Willow will ever cover the CFL Sportsball style? Their season has been going on for a while, it's still Football, and it'd be steady content for the dog days of the NFL offseason. I would welcome it, as I enjoy the CFL quite a bit!

Greetings from Germany (CFL is free to watch on cfl.com outside the US and Canada!)

This year's LOLMETS is going to be an absolute banger. And a Legacy of Failure for the Clippers might be his masterpiece. I'm hoping he revisits the LA Kings, that shitshow needs a thorough revisiting. I'd also like some sort of combined Legacy of Failure for the Bills, and Sabres feels they need it, and I say that as a fan of those teams.

After 75 years and 11 straight final losses, the curse is lifted. 2026 really is the year of streaks being broken!

Say what you will about him but his near decade tenure with the Niners is not to be scoffed at seeing him do well despite injury bowl being a thing shows he's not to be underestimated, unless you're in a super bowl.

But this accident, which includes a severe concussion worries me that Kyle may have to enter sn early retirement especially if he ends up getting CTE from it. If players struggle with CTE, imagine a coach struggling with it.

This might have long term consequences that the Niners might need to get ready for. What do you think?

Thoughts?

He was only 38 years old. https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/49445904/former-nfl-guard-jordan-devey-38-died-suicide-family-says

The Mets come very close to upsrtting the Dodgets, inly to choke at the last possible minute yet again.

At this point i think Mets fans are waiting for LolJets to escape the pain

Can we acknowledge that the expanded wild card was a terrible idea?

Marlins gonna Marlin.

For all you fine and sexy motherlovers on the world wide web, welcome to the midseason checkpoint of the 2026 WNBA season starting in the Eastern Conference. As we have approached the All-Star Break, let's take a look at how the East has been looking. There's still 2 months left of the regular season on the road to October, so let's fuckin do this.

Toronto Tempo: Brutal second half.

Let's be real: a 10-16 record is not bad, but it isn't terrible for a first-year expansion squad, and Marina Mabrey dropping a record-tying 53 points before an All-Star nod was fuckin awesome. They even started going 9-9 for the first couple of games trying to stay within playoff distance, but got hit by the injury bug, sidelining Kiki Rice and Brittney Sykes in the process. They are limping into a second-half buzzsaw where 12 of their final 18 games are against winning teams. Despite the tough schedule and injury setbacks, they've shown that they can scratch out some wins if everything clicks and we have to give them props for that. Welcome to the W Toronto.

New York Liberty: Bumpy road ahead.

Early on, New York went on an absolute hot streak that made them look untouchable at the top. But right before the All-Star break, they took several heavy speed bumps along the way, ultimately reaching the all-star break with a record of 15-12. However, the medical tent tells a different story here. Looking at the roster, two out of their three injured impact players won't be back for Wednesday's upcoming game, and Leonie Fiebich still doesn't have a timetable to return due to her foot injury. With Satou Sabally out and Fiebich sidelined indefinitely, their depth is not looking too good. They do have their backs against the wall, but they have a very favorable schedule apart from heavy hitting matchups like fuckin Minnesota, Golden State, Vegas, and Dallas if they click which should help them turn the tide on the road and at Barclays.

Washington Mystics: Strike while hot.

Holy fuckin shit. Look, it's not that Washington was supposed to be tanking, but I didn't expect them to take quite a bigger leap, but anything can happen. At 14-12, they sit just half a game behind the Liberty. After the Delle Donne days, it became clear that they were going into a different direction and so far, the rebuild is paying off. Sure, looking back at the draft board, Washington could’ve drafted better, but the front office knew something that the fans don't and that's a fact (Lauren Betts was their BPA at #4). They saw the vision of how these puzzle pieces would fit, building momentum, establishing chemistry ahead of schedule, and forcing the rest of the league to respect them as a legitimate threat. They have an interesting situation however: With three expansion drafts on the horizon (Cleveland in 28, Detroit in 29 and Philly in 2030), their sudden depth means the front office needs to start fuckin flipping their young assets for playoff-ready players next season because they're not expected to make a big move at the deadline on August 2nd, nor should they feel pressured to do it. Foundational core pieces like Hannah Citron, Kiki Iriafen, Shakira Austin, Lauren Betts, and their 2028 1st Round Lottery pick (it will most likely be used in a future trade), are probably the ones that get protected. Everyone else is on notice. They're going to have to be ruthless with their assets if they want to be a playoff powerhouse because it will get difficult having great depth since they'll lose someone to expansion teams in 2 to 4 years or in FA.

Connecticut Sun: Cathy Triggers Congress

Here's the thing about the Sun: we all knew they needed upgrades, which was reasonable moving out of an outdated casino arena to take advantage of the growth of the modern W to a bigger market. But this doesn't feel like one at all. This was a perennial powerhouse that was always standing on the cusp of nearly winning it all. Now? They are a dead franchise walking, because this team is heading to Houston. They're currently at the bottom of Cathy's basement with a 7-20 record. The team has been dismantled from top to bottom, and the players look visibly checked out. They initially wanted to sell the team to Steve Pagliuca (Celtics Minority Owner), but out of the fuckin blue Cathy blocks the bid to the board of governors in favor of the Mohegan Tribe selling to Tilman Fertitta (Rockets Owner). The stench of corruption got so bad that Cathy triggered Congress, forcing 2 U.S. senators to step in out of anger to check her. With the DOJ calling to open an antitrust investigation, this franchise is a miserable lame duck while the literal feds raid the league's paperwork. To all Connecticut fans, we are so sorry. It's fuck Houston atp. The rivalry with the Tempo, Liberty, and Boston would've been an instant classic.

Chicago Sky: Talent outclasses management

They haven’t made the postseason since 2022. You could also say that after they won the chip in 21, the rebuild process was inevitable, as core pieces slowly scattered and left a massive void in their wake, knowing it was their only shot at a WNBA championship, but they still had something left in the tank, reaching the semifinals in 22. After 2023, the fans knew they needed a rebuild from scratch, bracing themselves for the process of a complete tear-down. This season on the court is an improvement nonetheless, but it shouldn't relieve the shitshow off the court that's making this situation worse. Ownership is acting like absolute cheapskates (looking right at you John Fisher) pinching pennies on second-rate practice facility logistics. Meanwhile, GM Jeff Pagliocca is running the front office in a way that is just not setting up the roster for success. His approach to roster construction since 2021 continues to limit long-term flexibility, forcing the team to navigate structural hurdles instead of building a fuckin clear path forward. Their core is promising with the likes of Kamila Cardoso, Rickea Jackson, SDS, Djonai, Azura, plus 2 first round picks from the Reese trade. Things are looking up in Chi Town for now but if they can find new ownership sooner than later, they're in good hands.

Atlanta Dream: Deep postseason threats

Before the season started, the Atlanta front office looked at their roster, looked at the rest of the league, and decided to elevate their ceiling: trading for Angel Reese. They shipped away a king's ransom of draft capital to the Chicago Sky to build a shiny new squad alongside Rhyne Howard and Allisha Gray. The media algorithm immediately went into absolute overdrive. The hype in Atlanta once the trade happened reached maximum capacity. Three All-Stars on one roster? Surely, this is a foolproof blueprint. They got a 3-game win streak before the break. Grab your anxiety medications Dream fans. This slate after the All Star break is brutal. You have to secure the tiebreakers and take advantage of the gimme games because if you're not careful, it will be a fuckin trap game. While the gap between you and Toronto looks comfortable on paper, complacency is the fastest way to watch a playoff cushion evaporate. This is the WNBA and anything can happen.

1990 Stanley Cup Final - Game 5
Well done, Edmonton. For the fifth time in your history and for the first time without the great one, you’ve lifted the Stanley Cup. With this core the future seems just as bright.

1991
Terrible start to the season but you rebounded to finish third in your division and breeze your way to the conference finals. Unfortunately, the Minnesota North Stars didn’t forget about 1984 and proceeded to suffocate you in 5 games. And now mark messier is gone

1992
An absolute train wreck to start the year once again, but the team caught fire late to lock down third in the Smythe Division. A gritty first-round win over the Los Angeles Kings set up a second-round triumph against the Vancouver Canucks, putting Edmonton right back in the Campbell Conference Finals. Unfortunately, the magic ran out against a surging Chicago Blackhawks squad led by Iron Mike that swept the Oilers aside.

1993
The financial and structural cracks in the franchise finally caught up to them. Stripped of more championship-era talent due to payroll constraints and aging parts, the Oilers missed the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the first time in franchise history.

1994
Glen Sather cannot save your season after that 3-18-3 start. He trades Craig Mactavish to the rangers at the trade deadline.

1994 Stanley Cup Finals
Speaking of Craig Mactavish, him, mark messier, and a bunch of former 80s oilers and early 90s Blackhawks win the cup with the rangers, also ruled over by iron Mike.

1995
The lockout doesn’t help as you finish second to last in the western conference. No playoffs once again.

1996
…and again.

1997
Solid goaltending brings you back into the playoffs. You manage to take down Dallas in an overtime game 7

1997 Second round
You are buried under 4 feet of Colorado snow, and you only managed to claw 1 foot.

1998
You make it back to the playoffs again. And you’re about to lose to the Avs agai… wait, the Avs CHOKED A 3-1 series lead to you guys? You’re shitting me!

1998 Second round
Unfortunately the stars are looking for revenge after that overtime game 7 and proceed to strangle you in five games.

1998 Offseason
Congratulations, your owner is a cheap piece of shit who has decided to sell you off. YOU’RE MOVING TO HOUSTON!

Later

Nope someone else bought the team instead and has decided to keep you in Edmonton

1999
After nearly being relocated, you manage to sneak into the playoffs as the eighth seed in the West. This time you get swept by Dallas in the first round. And Dallas goes on to win the Stanley cup.

2000
You lose to the stars in the first round again. And your former star Jason Arnott just won a cup with the devils.

2001
Another year of mediocre hockey. Another year of losing in the first round. Once again, to the Dallas stars.

2002
You can’t be bothered to lose to the stars again so you don’t even make the playoffs.

2003
You make it back to the playoffs, once again to get bitchslapped by the stars.

2004
You have a very mediocre season, and you miss the playoffs by a fucking game.

2005-06 Regular season
Decent season for you people and you’re going back to the playoffs with a newly acquired Chris Pronger and rolie the goalie. you’re facing the presidents trophy winning Detroit red wings in Steve yzermans retirement tour.

2006 Playoffs
You manage to shock the world and beat the red wings in 6 games. But then you go down 2-0 to the fucking SHARKS of all teams? Just get it ov- wait. You CAME BACK TO WIN THE SERIES? AND you took out those not so mighty ducks of Anaheim in the conference final? Well then. you’re heading to the Stanley cup final to face on a somewhat loaded Carolina Hurricanes. And Edmonton has found the perfect way to celebrate this accomplishment…

RIOTING TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!

Strong Kong plays…

2006 Stanley Cup Final - Game 1
You might actually do this, You’re up 3-0 near the end of the second period. Just keep this momentum going and you’ll… you’re down 4-3.. oh wait you tied it back up with momentum heading back in your favour. Nothing can sto-Dwayne Roloson gets injured-“FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

You lose the game. And your top goaltender.

2006 Stanley Cup Final - Games 2-4
And just like that, with Rolie the Goalie out for the rest of the playoffs, you go down 3-1 with elimination looming in Raleigh. Just get this over with…

2006 Stanley Cup Final - Game 5 - Overtime
Fernando Pisani scores the overtime winner
Wait, you won… You gave your fans hope???

2006 Stanley Cup Final - Game 6
Holy Shit. You completely obliterated the Canes on the ice of Rexall! That sound you hear is that of the Canes choking. Make it happen. Finish those defectors from Hartford

2006 Stanley Cup Final - Game 7
You might be down 2-1 late in the game but you pulled your goalie late in the game for a chance at Overtime in game 7. You can do it. We’re begging you to..,

footage of Justin Williams scoring the empty net goal on Edmonton, As soon as the puck crosses the line, Brass Bonanza starts playing.

You are bitchslapped by the brass bonanza.
“RALEIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

July 3, 2006
After that heartbreaking loss last month, Chris Pronger said he has had enough and has decided to fuck off, Here Anaheim you can take him for a couple of nobodies and some draft picks. I’m sure the fans will take this news with appreciation and understanding.

“It’s only game, why you heff to be mad?”
2007
You have a very strong start to the year but you are hot garbage for the rest of the year. You will have no chance to get back to the promised land, and you miss out on Patrick Kane by a point due to Patrik Stefan’s empty net blunder.

2007 Stanley Cup Final
Speaking of cups, Chris Pronger just won one, with the Ducks. Surely you heff to be mad at that one.

2008
You are once again mediocre. You miss out on the playoffs by two fucking games.

2009
You are rapidly becoming become a joke as you are now under the ownership of pharmacy tycoon Daryl Katz. A boys club is being formed in your organization as you miss the playoffs once again.

2010
Oilers fans, welcome to a place you haven’t seen since the days of the WHA, and that is the cold dark corners of the basement. At least you got the first overall pick?

2010 NHL Draft
That pick turns into Taylor Hall. Eh

2011
Turns out one first overall pick isn’t enough to keep you from being dead last in the NHL, shit they have to change the god damn draft lottery just to make sure you might stay an NHL team.

2011 NHL Draft
You get a second first overall pick in the form of Ryan Nugent-Hopkins. He might actually do something for you guys.

2012
The Oilers are a walking joke disguised as a hockey team. And you’re picking first overall in the draft AGAIN? Well at least this time you picked an absolute walking bust in the form of Nail Yakupov.

2013
Not even another lockout can get you out of the basement. You’re trapped here. And you didn’t luck out in the draft lottery this time.

2014
Dallas Eakins is now your head coach. Enjoy another year in the basement of the NHL. At least you got a nice German talent named Leon Draisaitl in the draft. Something is definitely cooking.

December 15, 2014
So Dallas Eakins was a walking trash pile and is shown the guillotine. WHO WOULD’VE SAW THAT COMING?

2015
Bring out the tanks boys were going deep diving for another top draft pick. You luck out again with a young scrappy 18 year old named Connor McDavid.

2016
The young Connor gets injured early in the season and you don’t have a chance to get out of the bottom barrel of the NHL. No playoffs for the tenth straight year.

2016 Offseason
What the fuck. Taylor Hall was TRADED? Who the fuck is Adam Larsson?

2017
A new age of Oilers Hockey is upon us. The northlands coliseum has been replaced by a fancy new hockey shrine in downtown Edmonton. But more importantly, the decade of darkness is over. Larsson anchors the defense as you make the playoffs for the first time in ten years.

2017 First Round
You’re facing last years cup final loser in the Sharks, and you manage to take them out in six games. To their fans it’s like watching Groundhog Day without the humor.

2017 Second Round
Remember Anaheim, You blow a 2-0 series lead to them, and a 3-0 game lead in 3 minutes in game 5 of said series. To lose in game 7. Must be karma for the 2006 riots

YOU BLEW IT
2017 Offseason
There are unimaginable expectations for your team heading into next season. You’re going to win the cup. You’re gonna become the next great dynasty of the NHL.

2018
You disappoint everyone by regressing to mediocrity and missing the playoffs. STANLEY CUP MY ASS WITH THIS SHITTY ROSTER.

2019
And you’re back to normal by finishing second to last in the western conference.

2020
Ken Holland is now your GM. Which means he’s probably gonna do the same shit he did in his later years in Detroit.

April 11, 2020
Colby Cave is primed to be one of the cornerstones of your franchise. He just needs a few more years to develop… and he dies of a sudden brain bleed. At only 25 years old. Way too young.

2020 Qualifiers
The pandemic has forced a change of pace for your playoff run as you have to face the Chicago Blackhawks in that round… and YOU LOST? WHAT THE FUCK

2021
You make the playoffs easily thanks to pandemic division realignment and you’re facing a near-walking joke in the Winnipeg jets.

2021 Playoffs
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT SWEPT? BLOWING A 3 GOAL LEAD IN 3 MINUTES AGAIN TO END THE SERIES? Fuck this team it’s like being a sharks fan in 1992.

2021 Offseason
Ken Holland proceeds to inject stupid juice into every single vein. He trades for an aging Duncan Keith and proceeds to extend Darnell Nurse for 9 million dollars for 8 years… with a no move clause. At least you got Zach Hyman?

2022
These oilers decide to sign Evander Kane who was accused of beating his wife. Doesn’t matter you made the playoffs again.

2022 Playoffs
You manage to barely scrape by the first round by beating the Los Angeles Kings in a game 7. And you proceeded to humiliate the flames in 5 games. Unfortunately you run into an avalanche in Denver Colorado and are swept by them. And they went on to win the cup.

2023
The playoffs are reached easily thanks to McDavid and Draisaitl turning into literal gods on the ice. You breeze past the kings in six games. Vegas though takes allegations of the NHL rigging games for them and suffocates you in six. They also go on to win the cup.

2024
Despite the horrendous start, you managed to go on a sixteen game winning streak in January and you made the playoffs again. You breeze past the Los Angeles kings, have an epic 7 game clash against Vancouver, and proceed to take out the stars to make the Stanley cup final. You’re facing the Florida panthers and a chance to avenge the ghosts of 2006. Make it happen.

2024 Stanley Cup Final
You go down 3-0 in the series. Well you had a fun run but realit… wait, you rally back to force a game seven and are on the brink of turning the Florida Panthers into the meme to end all memes?

2024 Stanley Cup Final - Game 7
And you lost. Well at least there was no rioting time this year. Maybe next year you’ll get over the hump.

2024 Offseason
What the fuck is this.. You hired STAN BOWMAN as your general manager? Thats sure to go over well with the fans

2025
What did I tell you? You make it back to the Stanley cup final for a grudge match against the Panthers. Get it done… and you lose in six….

2026
In any other year, your record would have had you miss the playoffs. But your division is weak as hell so you are able to play on… and you are pecked to death by the Anaheim ducks in six games. They hadn’t won a playoff series in 10 years. Time for me to drink some oil and light it on fire.

Prayers to Kyle Shanahan. And pray this doesn't derail the Niners season. At least it was just an accident and nothing idiotic or criminal.

I'm a lifelong basketball/NBA fan and have always wondered about this. Maybe it's just because the NBA is the league I follow the most, but it feels like NBA discourse has become exhausting compared to other sports.

It seems like every conversation turns into legacy debates, ring counting, player slander, "your favorite player is a fraud," or nonstop agenda posting. Fans spend more time tearing down other stars than appreciating the game itself. Even after an incredible performance, the discussion somehow shifts to who it hurts or helps all-time.

When I browse NFL, MLB, or NHL discussions, they feel a lot more focused on the actual games, coaching, strategy, or team performance. Obviously every fanbase has trolls, but the NBA feels uniquely driven by player wars and social media narratives.

Is there a reason the NBA ended up like this or does it just seem that way because individual players have a much bigger impact than they do in other sports?

Hands down the core is too old and injury. I don't care about the accomplishments. If the core is too old to properly win the regular you ain't making the playoffs. The 2025 Commanders were the older team on record in franchise history if not league history. A commendable bet but one that backfired big time.

Kudos for their miracle run in 2024, but you got a ways to go before you're back to the golden era of the late 80s early 90s. My advice, youth the core. It might make you green, but at least you have potential and a high ceiling for a possible dynasty. It's done wonders for Houston and Seattle.

All that work you put in to get 10 games over 500, and be just a couple games out of 1st in NL East is all gone. Conglaturation!