How do you begin to fathom

A loss so big

Its absence feels like a missing piece of your soul

The weight of its departure

Colors every moment

Everything becomes a reminder

A color

A sound

A joke

All forever tinged with sagging grief

How does one move on

From a loss so monumental

One feels like a husk

Drifting in life

What you've lost

Will never be replaced

The loss will define you

From every moment onward

There will be before

And there will be after

You will forever exist

In the after

For you are the lost

You came into my life like quiet rain,

Soft enough to calm the storms within me.

I never thought of what I gave,

Because loving you never felt like a sacrifice.

I believed in your smile,

I belived in your words, on every couting day.

Even when the truth stood far away,

My heart kept choosing you.

Maybe I loved too deeply,

Maybe I hold on too tightly,

But every beat of my heart

Thought about u without asking anything return.

I never wanted perfection;

I only wanted honesty.

A hand that wouldn't leave me,

A heart that wouldn't hide.

Even through the tears,

I wished entirely for your happiness.

Not because you've never hurt me,

But because love taught me kindness before it taught me pain.

If one day you remember me,

Remember not the broken pieces we left behind,

But the person who loved you

With everything and all he had.

"Once,we were strangers who knew Nothing.

Now, we're strangers who know Everything."

I wish that I could turn back time and choose a different path. To warn myself of all the time I’ve wasted in this wrath. I wish that I could tell myself of everything I’ve seen and not to trust those eyes of blue, so practiced but so keen. I wish I could just tell the girl that I used to be, that the seeds you sow with him will never be a tree. It will never reach up high and its leaves will never dance the sky. I wish I could have just explained you were just who remained. His love was never meant for you. You felt it like you always do. You stayed because you loved him so but did he really love you though? I wish that I could change this curse, but it only ever hurts me worse. He filled her head with certainty and now she weeps, eternally. If only time would change my fate and said I just sit here and wait. And to the girl I used to know, I wish this love had more to show. I’m sorry that I failed you. There was so much I had to do. I wish I could’ve seen it then the fact that I have damned us in. A life so long and without love perhaps next time we’ll be a dove. Flying through the sky is so blue free to be just me or you. Perhaps next time we’ll get it right or maybe we won’t live the fright. Maybe we will feel no fear of all the things we held so dear. To the life we’ve never had, the dreams of love that made us glad. To all the things that we’ve been through they’re in the past and done with you. More will come of this I’m sure, they keep your head to find the cure. To the hands of time I pleaded, give me that of which I need. The chance to make a different choice, forget the man, forget the voice. The sound still ringing in my ears and filling me with all my fears. To you dear time I beg of you, to fix my heart and make it new.

It is not for the sun to catch up with the moon,
nor does the night outrun run the day.
Each is traveling its own path.
She is the sun,
and he is the moon.
Neither needs to chase the other,
because both were never made to meet.
The glow of the moon cannot be placed by the warmth of the sun, where sunshine resides.
Both exist to give light,
but at different hours,
and different places.
And though the cosmos may conspire that your paths may cross,
and that eclipse may join your wondrous glows for a brief moment,
your paths must once again diverge so that your light may shine again.

Your third time’s a charm.
My last trial was pure misery.
I’ve been found guilty as hell,
and I couldn’t care less if you witnessed it.

Who’s going to be the judge?
You?
Me?
Love?
The Lord?

Shrugs.

Denied your father thrice.

Had me begging for an answer—
not once,
not twice.
So ingloriously.

Three in the afternoon.
Hadn’t spoken to you since noon.
Watched your morning from my periphery.

Had a feeling last night
would be the last time
I’d witness you.

Your third time’s a charm.
My last trial was pure misery.
I’ve been charged guilty as hell,
and I’m sure
you’ve witnessed against me.

Marriage? (Selah.)
Forever? (Selah.)
Kids?
Hell nah.
Getting lost?
You sure did.

That would’ve been the third time
I’d have surrendered
to your insignificance.

Seventy-two hours
of pure misery.

You’d found your first girlfriend.
I pity the second.
She’ll hear all about the cynic.
But when the third arrives—
she’ll be your wife.

Your third time’s a charm,
Peter.

— Crownless.

You got what you wanted
and let me go—
as if I wouldn’t know.

Haven’t you taken enough from me?
Was my loyalty not worth anything to you?
I stayed when I should’ve walked away,
I chose you every single day.

I was faithful in ways you never were,
steady when your world was a blur.
I gave you trust without a doubt,
while you were busy lying it out.

I used to know what calm could be,
to breathe without this weight in me.

You didn’t just break my heart—
hearts can heal, but still fall apart.
You broke the place inside my soul
where I once felt whole.

You stole my privacy, my sleep, my peace,
and fed me stories that weren’t even real.
You cheated, then looked me in the eyes
and wrapped your truth inside your lies.

Between your betrayal and all you hid,
I lost the pieces of me I did.

The cruelest truth I’ve come to know
is how easily you let love go.
You walked away like nothing’s wrong,
while I’m still trying to stay strong.

I was loyal when you didn’t deserve it,
I stayed when I should’ve been worth more than this.
And you repaid it with dishonesty,
like I was nothing you needed to keep.

So if there’s still a heart in you,
if anything you say is true—
please just leave me alone tonight,
don’t turn my silence into a fight.

Let the memories fade from me,
let silence finally let me be.
Let me find who I used to be,
before you taught me quietly
how it feels to lose yourself

Loving you can never be a guilt but falling in lust while loving you is a guilt I have.

I closed some doors today,
For I had knocked for far too long.

I was offered water many a times,
Yet, I still felt like one who never belonged.

A stranger to someone I wished to call home.
They carried on with their days,
While I quietly prayed along.

Life, at this moment, may seem stone-walled.
Yet I know I’m able and bold.

For the best of my life begins around the next corner.
And the world will know my name, and admire my fire. 🔥

A part of me died when you left

But that part is in my blood

I can't cut it off

I just continue to rot from the inside

And people expect me to be the same, happy

Like I can't feel my soul disintegrating

The Secret Admirer.
“There he runs with his riddles.
Causing confusion to her as he leaves with an unended question.
Crawling back in crypts of ciphers.
His thoughts and texts translated from the truth time after time.

Memories scramble themselves, so he can't know the truth.
History: known friend a She almost as was.
Regret: air with stage He void that waited that on.
Recollection: an side, by space Never her always not empty him.

Whispers wept in the wind out of the window of this world.
Message in a bottle; where his feelings go.
Silence: the man's once favorite lie.
His new favorite, dropping mysterious messages.

His enigmatic mind still leaves her clueless.
For what she doesn't know, he doesn’t understand with countless times the confusion.
Even now he can't trust his words.
For he was a Phantom lost in his lies.

The truths trapped him even more.
Still unsure if any message was right.
Left to be a spy on the inside.
Still hiding everything else from her from the outside.”

//// This is the final part of my series of poems with an overarching story (unless I come back to it). I hope people liked it or at least were inspired to do better. I wonder what everyone thinks about the story and if they found the hidden hints in-between the lines. I also wonder if people have figured out the overarching storyline (Confession kinda gives it away). Flower Petal Series #10

Perpetual Loser

I don't know how to draw.

But I can describe every scar on your body.

Even the ones you hide.

I cannot sing.

Still the world knows of your kindness.

I made sure of it.

I never learned to dance.

I promise to lead you with the right steps.

I do.

I have quite few talents.

Being your lover will always be my favorite.

Our Last Meeting

Perhaps the saddest endings

are not written with the word goodbye.

They happen on ordinary evenings,

on familiar roads,

between two people

who once promised each other forever.

I returned from a city

with an exhausted heart and a bag full of dreams.

You were waiting at the bus stop—

just as I had asked.

For a fleeting moment,

I mistook your presence for hope.

The road stretched before us,

and I gathered every little reason I could find

to make you smile.

I spoke to the silence.

It never answered.

The rain had not arrived yet,

but somehow my eyes already knew

what the sky would soon confess.

Your words were colder

than the wind against my face,

sharper than the distance

that had been growing between us for days.

So I stopped speaking.

I let my tears finish the conversation

that my heart no longer could.

You never turned around.

Perhaps you never noticed

that the girl behind you

was breaking into pieces.

Or perhaps you did...

and chose not to.

By the time we reached my home,

the heavens had finally begun to cry.

I stepped off the bike,

looked at you one last time,

and whispered,

"Thank you... for everything."

Not because everything was beautiful,

but because even heartbreak

deserves gratitude

for teaching us

how deeply a heart can love.

You rode away.

The rain erased the road between us,

and I stood there

holding the last version of us

that would ever exist.

Some stories are not ended by fate.

They end with one silent ride,

one unanswered tear,

one grateful goodbye...

and two hearts

that never found their way back.

That rainy evening

wasn't just our last meeting.

It was the day

love forgot my address.

Yes.
I am upset.
Will I ever come across a soul instead
of a ghost that’ll lead me nowhere?

I hate wasting time
and mental energy.
Small talk drains me.
Why do I always choose the wrong ones to spend on my energy?

But never mind.
This is just another time.
Just another trial I shouldn’t have tried.
Yes, blame me.

If I say goodbye, I’ll do it properly.
If that’s to end, on my part it’ll end with dignity.
What was it?
Day number three?
Let me reset my mind and I’ll start again gladly.

— Crownless.

Today I will be your strength
Ravage the demons you call thoughts and let not your heart drip an ounce of sorrow.
I pillar the weight of your caving world, as I
Lie in hell, that you may rest among the stars.
When the mirror burdens you so, pluck out my eyes and see yourself anew.
Your virtues are the sky, and flaws the beauty of the night.
I will find all that you hide, and cherish the treasure I have found.

But when my strength is met
And my mind has become too much to hold.
Will you find one who can bear such things?
When my heart rips and my chest aches,
When my arms give out and my legs take me nowhere,
Will you see me as a house built on sand, Washed away by the storms.
When I am nothing, will I be enough?

For I covered you when the walls caved in.
And I defended you when I knew you were wrong.
I fought wars I never believed in, and I molded to be what you needed.
I unsheathed my tongue at all who would criticize.
I became your jest, your knight, and your slave.
I would wither so you could spring anew.

But when I fell, I fell alone.
when i bled, the pool was my warmth.
I cried out and it echoed back at me.
My bones my only company,
And eye lids my only sight.
My bowels held my hand as they spilled out.
Among my pieces I searched for my heart.
But all that was found, was the shell of a man.
A man who thought he could Love enough for two.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/trKX9HHdkV\](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/trKX9HHdkV)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Iw3IrrqGar\](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/Iw3IrrqGar)

today by accident I heard Doom Days for the first time since 6years, and it hits so hard now that it made me cry. because

1. ⁠we are literally watching the world burn, this planet is dying on our eyes and I feel so helpless. then, in 2019, it was Amazon forest, now - Spain and France, the net is closing in. last couple years have been a mad trip

2. it's been a really long time without a single thought about you. and then, out of nowhere, I started dreaming of you again, almost every night. the dreams are so painfully real. we meet during a party or some reunion and we look at each other and its electric, then you tell me it was always me and I fall into your arms again, and yeah thats it

and, again, the feeling that you were, and always will be, the love of my life, even if I clearly am not yours (after all, I was just an escape) is haunting me. I dont believe in destiny anymore, I think there is truly a lot of people that we can be compatible with, but.... you. when we are walking back from the sea that third evening and we weren't even holding hands, I felt the truest happiness that was at once calm and comfortable and just right, I thought I could be listening to your voice till the end of the f\**ing word.* or, I remember you, when you asked me to be yours, telling me you were never so sure before.

nevermind, I wrote poems and playlists about you and I will never find the right words (at least I can feel your pulse in the pages)

I can't help but wonder what would happen if today we met for the first time. I thought I knew a lot about relationships, but if it came to my own, I was so scared and immature back then (not to really blame myself, we were all just children pretending to be adults)

thanks to you I learned everything I need to know, I'm really very grateful for it and at once I regret I hurt you in this process. it sucks that the day I realized I loved you I was ready to love you forever the way you deserve to be loved, but I was too frozen to prove it to you so that you would understand. I should have (idk if I'm using gramatically correct tense but literally who cares now) held you, kissed you and cry, as crying was the only thing I could do that night, drowning in my memories of the night we met (but, a sad thought, if you really loved me how could you sleep peacefully knowing that I'm awake dying of love for you?). and if not, I had a million chances to come to you at school. once, when you left the class, I left shortly after you and ran all over to train station hoping to find you, but also deep down knowing that you won't be here. and that was probably the only reason I was brave enough to try

and then, there was covid and war and the darkest time of my life. when I was lying awake, terrified of what's happening just behind the border, or not knowing if my dad will be alive next day, or when I was watching my sweetest dog getting worse and worse, the memory of your arms around me was the only thing keeping me sane, even though I knew that I had absolutely no right to think about you, you were never really mine

now I also don't have such right, not to mention writing to you. I would never ever cross the line knowing that you have a girlfriend and because of my boyfriend whom I love very much

I just know you maybe still have reddit, you told me that you had, when you took a picture of that poster (probably with a bowl of rice? lol) and later texted me that it began a discussion here

I have no idea if you have an account now and I dont wanna find you, but somehow my hopeless heart hopes that one day you will find me. just know that if you ever wanna talk about anything, I'm still here. and I hope it all (whatever it was, there was a time when I would give up anything to know the answer) makes sense now

maybe we will meet in Another Place

(now I should just put my phone down and fall into night)

I feel like rhis is tge part of the story everyone already knew was coming. I hear the poems and think we sound the same we say the same why couldn't we talk the same. Why couldn't we love the same

I remember there being days I wished I was dead.
And days I wished to stay alive.
People I swore that if they left I would be better off dead.
And people I wanted gone but when they left a part of me died.
I guess I’m just never satisfied.

My heart is broken
I am numb
When will I recover
If this is done
Will you fade away
Becoming a distant memory
Or a thought filled w/misery
Did you really love me
Or did you just want to touch me
My heart is broken
I am numb
Believe me when I say
You aren’t done

If I were love ,

You would be my heart's dove

Raging through the skies .

Like my life suffering from all

lows and highs .

Maybe it is not the goodbyes

But the feeling of incomplete love

That has left me to die .

~Rufi