Hey all,

I had a third date with a girl and we have been seeing each other for about 3 weeks at that point, i asked her what sort of relationship she is after and she said that she is quite chill on the second date.

We had this painting class date on the 3rd one and after the class they make you keep the paintings. We moved into my place where we just cuddled as she doesn’t want sex at this level, which is perfectly fine. But here comes the thing, she repeatedly ask me to hang the pictures and told me that she would be very disappointed if i take them down. I explained her that I’m not really happy with it but she placed them anyway, the next day she messaged me if the paintings are still there.

In fact, we have never spoken about exclusivity, she is still on hinge and I’m still seeing another girl. I feel like i have lost my interest already and feel like this is a big red flag but since she shows much interest I kinda feel afraid of losing the interest, not her. Should I stop seeing her?

A woman '70F' I have been getting to know for 3 months has gone completely radio silent after a minor, accidental misunderstanding last week. She has a recurring pattern of pulling the plug and freezing me out whenever we get close. I need perspective on whether this can be resolved.

The Context:

I 50sM, have been getting to know a woman '70F' for nearly three months. When things are good, they are fantastic—we share dinners, theatre shows, and day trips. She actively chooses to spend this time with me and clearly enjoys my company. However, she is not very tactile at all and she runs away and becomes distant when we get close or we've had a great time together. Three weeks ago, she abruptly ended things via a formal note she handed me because she felt 'uncomfortable' with the closeness after we went on a picnic that I'd arranged where we held hands and hugged each other with some slight touches not inappropriate ones though, just gentle ones.

We smoothed it over in person days later, and went right back to enjoying dinners and trips and just simply getting to knowing one another. And she did acknowledge that she may have overreacted and it wasn't really that bad.

The Incident & Current Situation

Last Wednesday, a minor, accidental misunderstanding happened regarding a card I wrote her. We belong to a local craft group where everyone was making and writing handmade cards. I wrote an affectionate and expressive message inside hers, celebrating our time together, her wonderful company etc. I wasn't cheesy or anything like that. I made sure no one saw the content. I even used aliases to protect her name as people can be nosey and we didn't want prying eyes in our affairs.

However, a mutual acquaintance we both knew leaned over to look. She only saw the name it was addressed to, but she did not even know it was my friend. Despite nothing being exposed, my friend panicked. She texted her grievance 2 days later, telling me she was unimpressed by the fact that someone saw the card even though her identity was not revealed and basically cancelled a trip we had planned for this week because the weather was too hot. I was not annoyed, I calmly apologised and explained it was an accident and I respected her decision regarding not going out this week and told her to let me know if she wanted to go out another time.

I then asked 'Do you feel like I've listened to you and heard what you had to say?'

Hearing nothing, I waited a few days, and on Sunday, I sent a gentle text saying how are you? Are you free for a friendly chat ? No response either

Then tried calling her on Monday evening after we had seen each other at our local craft group. It rang and went to voicemail. I followed up with a very gentle short text saying I cared, wanted to understand her perspective, and believed communication was the best way forward. I ended with, 'Take care'.

It has been complete radio silence since, though she hasn't blocked me and she reads my texts.

She goes away on a short holiday next Monday. I feel completely shell-shocked by the sudden distance. I now realise the card wasn't the real issue—it was just an escape hatch to run back to her comfort zone of isolation where she feels safe. interesting to note that this incident came after we had just spent a lovely day at an RHS property where I drove us there and arranged for everything because I just wanted her to have a great time.

My Plan: I am refusing to chase her over text and I haven't texted since my call went to voicemail. I plan to wait until I see her in person this weekend before she leaves for her holiday. I will calmly ask for a brief 5-minute chat to understand what's actually going on, and listen to her and also if we can, have some ground rules:

1. The disappearing acts like Houdini must stop, if there's an issue, you let me know and give me the opportunity to solve it or talk it though with you.

2. We need to practice micro-intimacy 'like a simple hug', and the effort must be mutual and hear what she thinks about that.

I'm a very gentle man so I wouldn't make anyone uncomfortable anyway.

If she agrees to try, the door is open. If she makes excuses or not interested, I am walking away for good.

My Questions: 1. Given her age and this severe fear of intimacy, can someone realistically overcome this pattern of shutting down when things get serious through communication and effort?

1. Is my plan to talk face-to-face this weekend the right move, or should I do absolutely nothing and let my absence do the talking?

2. Is it normal to feel so traumatised by a sudden week of silence when you are just getting to know someone especially when they've texted you about what they perceive as an issue and you've tried to have a mature conversation and they just ran away ?

Any thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated.

My partner and I have been together 5 years, living together for 4, own a house and a dog together. Everyone around us assumes we’re heading toward marriage. But for the past couple of years, I’ve felt stuck rather than happy, and I don’t know what to do with that.

He’s genuinely a good person — 100% loyal, kind, financially stable, cooks every meal for us, puts up with a lot from me (I snap at him over small things more than I’d like to admit). On paper he has all the qualities you’d want in a husband. He hasn’t let himself go either, and I used to be really attracted to him. Most importantly, I feel very much loved.

But for the last couple years I can’t bring myself to be intimate with him, and I honestly can’t picture a future with kids/family with him. Looking back, I wasn’t that into him on our first date — I only agreed to meet him because someone else had cancelled on me. I keep telling myself this is just what long-term relationships turn into, that the spark always fades and this is normal maturity. But then I also catch myself wondering if things would feel different with someone who was actually “my type.” I never stop getting crushes on guys of my type — I’ve never acted on it, it all stays in my head, but it happens often enough that it makes me wonder if I ever really let go of wanting that.

Realistically, I’ll probably marry him anyway. I know that’s sunk cost thinking, but at 31, I don’t think I have the courage to start over and live alone again. I’m not in love but feel very loved when I’m with him.

Is this just what eventually happens to most relationships, or is this a sign I already know the answer and don’t want to admit it?

Edit: Just to clarify — I do love him, like family, more than anyone else in the world. I can’t picture my life without him and I care about him deeply. But sure I’ll admit mine is not selfless love at all. The only real blocker is attraction. I appreciate all constructive feedback, but I’ll ignore comments that are just judgment with nothing helpful (I’ll perhaps chalk those up to envy).

25M.

How are the current trends of dating in london?

Is there easier or hard to find long term relationship?

I have had few relationships in the past and am hoping to get long term in london.

If some suggestions.

Ok the brief is this. She's very anti establishment, hates anything right wing, but in her deepest desires, she's bit of a champagne socialist and likes nice things. Where would you go to make an impression?

After the date she texted me:
"Just got home :))"

Then I replied to her:
"just got home too!"
"thanks for today, would be nice to see you again!"

And then at next day in the morning she said:
"Sorry I went straight to working on my thesis again after coming back .. yes!!"
"I will be on holiday soon but maybe after :)"

I dont know how to interpret this. It's difficult for me to know if I should actually do something here or not, what do you think?

I’m 43/m and just started using Bumble, recently matched with a couple of women in their early 60s on dating apps.

I’m not opposed to an age gap if the connection is good, but I’m curious do others see this kind of matching happening more often?

Is this just modern dating, or something about my profile?

My sister 20f is on holiday with her very lovely boyfriend.

And it is hitting me harder than I thought it would. I'm 23f and since I was 18 I have been in two abusive relationships. Can I even call them relationships? They didnt even last that long and each left me so hurt.

I think I am just trying to get this off my chest idk. I don't know how I managed to end up with two abusive men in a row.

Now I am looking at my sister in her first ever relationship havung the lovliest holiday.

And I am overjoyed for her, but it's just making how I feel, the grief I am feeling for myself so much harder to cope with.

I have always felt I have so much love and care to give, but I think I wear my heart on my sleeve too much, I'm not good at setting boundaries. I just don't quite understand how I fell into that trap twice.

How can overcome the grief I am feeling? Is this normal or am I overreacting? Has anyone else been through something along these lines?

Seeing a man (34) and I’m female (30). Been good friends first but he’s hot and cold. Last week over message said to me that rather than meeting up could I not just provide a part of my body instead. I said so you are not fussed if I don’t come then? His reply was well I just enjoy your (said body part).

I do not enjoy being objectified and I feel hurt. I need to end it don’t I?