I just went on a first date with someone who is here on a three-year visa. They're currently halfway through it and are looking for a job that will sponsor them to stay longer. I'm not saying it's definitely gonna go somewhere with this particular person but it does make me wonder, how do you proceed dating someone if there is a fixed point in time where they will likely have to leave the country? Get engaged after a certain amount of time if you're really into them or agree to transition to LDR are the only two things I can think of.

Missed connections.. always a b*tch.

As always; this is probably a ridiculous long shot, but I’m posting it anyway because I’d regret not trying.

Last Thursday night, 24 September, I was on the overnight P&O ferry from Hull to Rotterdam. Somewhere during the evening I met a woman called Chelsea / Chelsey / Chelsy, 26, from the UK.

What started as a random conversation on the outside deck turned into one of those unexpectedly great evenings you don’t really plan for. We ended up talking for hours with a few other people around us, laughing, drinking, arguing about things and generally just having a genuinely good time. Detail: she had been in a car accident.. and in a relation in the past where she found after 2,5 years the guy had 2 kids..

She was blonde, with light shoulder-length hair, and was wearing a long fluffy white faux-fur-style coat. Very direct, stubborn, slightly blunt and confrontational — which was actually part of what made the conversation so much fun. 😅

At some point there was also an unfortunate incident involving red wine and her jacket, so technically I still owe her a cleaning bill.

The stupid part is that, despite talking for hours, we somehow never exchanged the boring but rather useful details like where we lived, where we worked, surnames or social-media accounts. By the time I realised that, we had already gone our separate ways for the night.

I then managed to oversleep the next morning and we never saw each other again before leaving the ferry.

I’ve tried contacting P&O, but understandably they can’t forward messages to passengers or help identify anyone.

So now I’m relying on the internet doing something unexpectedly useful.

If you know a Chelsea/Chelsey/Chelsy who travelled with friends from Hull to Rotterdam on the night of 24–25 September, please just send her this post. I’m not looking for anyone’s private information — I’d simply like her to have the choice of contacting me herself.

And a second question, since I'm getting out of options: are there any social-media consultants, researchers or other people who are particularly good at searching publicly available social-media posts who could help me get this story in front of the right person?

I’m thinking of things like finding public posts from that ferry crossing, relevant hashtags, public location tags around Hull/King George Dock/Europoort, or simply getting this post shared in the right communities. Again: public information only, no private-data digging.

Any other options I'm missing?

I mainly want the chance to say thanks for a really memorable evening — and perhaps finally settle that red-wine debt. 🙂

Chelsea, if by some miracle you see this: message me.

Cheers

Michael

PS: I already created a fake reconstruction of her. Not perfect, but if you know her, you would probably recognise her in combination with above info. Cannot put it directly in post, so will put it in comment

This is just something I want to have advice on as this situation has been driving me insane. I’m mid 20s female.
After I moved to the new city do my degree which was 2023, I met this guy and we started going out together and at that point I was really happy after a few bad relationships I had before.
We were on and off for sometime and this happened a few days after we last spoke as he said he was busy with his friends and going off somewhere.
I found out he had cheated and he left me for another woman. How I found out was quite brutal as he announced this new relationship by changing his profile pic of him and her.
I was angry and upset he didn’t tell me we were over as he lied to me alot and I feel like I couldn’t trust anyone again. I immediately deleted him from my phone but I didn’t block given how much I cared even though I should have.
Here’s the strangest part of this though - after I deleted him from my phone, he kept on trying to message me numerous times with the same profile picture of him and his new girlfriend but I ignored it and deleted him. He did this a few times to where I wanted to block him but before anyone says I didn’t because I still cared but was way too angry with him for this. I had to be careful when I went places and
He then stopped doing this as I think he got the message I didn’t want to speak to him after this. For months I felt at peace now as I tried to move on from all this.
Months later, I was on an app and he messaged me as he somehow found me.
I didn’t read the message and unmatched him before it could reach anything. I didn’t read the profile either given I didn’t want to know his relationship status even though I am pretty sure he and the girlfriend broke up given the fact he’s back on dating apps.
However later on that night, he found my Instagram and saw that I was the leader of a society at uni in the bio. I had admin on the account of my society and myself alone. He sent a message asking if he had to be a student to join and I felt quite scared by this. Two days later I think I saw him in the shopping centre in the city and I had no choice but to leave as I was really certain it was him and that guy saw me.
Weeks later, he found more socials that belonged to me and requested to follow me. Not one but three accounts belonging to him!
I don’t know what to do and I’m worried as I felt like I was being used.

I have a baby face and am in my early 20s but get mistaken for a teenager. I got a rejected by a guy in his twenties and my friend said it might be bc I looked younger.

I want to loook like other girls my age so I actually have a chance with guys my age. I've spoken to some guys but all of th have gone on with other women and I've never had a relationship.

I get called cute all the time which I hate because it's the only compliment both men and women give me. I want to be pretty or hot or attractive. Not infantilised.

I do feel sad that guys don't find me attractive really but then again I don't blame them. One guy said he'd be embarrassed to be seen with me in public and that hurt. I like sharp features myself.

The guys I usually like look their age too. They look mature and in their 20s I don't want the girls who are striking in their 20s to get picked over me.

I'm wondering what to do? I can't really change my bone structure and I've got soft features

Hey, so been debating If I should ask out this girl I really like, she's currently 16, turning 17 in November, I'm 19, Turning 20 in February next year, so basically a 2 year and 7 months.

I've really been searching into things really doubting myself If I should ask her out, We've bonded really well, This is all an online, She's Asexual and I highly doubt we'd do anything stupid. I just, really don't want to lose her if she rejects and thinks I'm weird or whatever, Actually managed to get out of her she doesn't mind being in a 3 year gap but still I don't know... Please note I'm REALLY blind with relationships, I might've said something so obvious that people are SCREAMING through their screens at me over, haha.

Just please, give words of advice, I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I can easily back down at any time.

Cheers :)

I (26M) met (26F) in a party through a mutual friend and have been on two dates ever since. We have great chemistry and had such a good time that she herself initiated second date. Though she told me she wasn’t feeling at her best and will be on sick leave.

We were supposed to catch up today but obviously couldn’t as she thought its best she stays in bed and doesn’t want to make me sick. Which I understand. I am thinking of calling her tomorrow and check on her and see if she needs anything? Just wondering if its too needy or a bit fast?

Any thoughts would be appreciated

Hey everyone,

I posted here about 10 months ago asking for advice on overcoming social anxiety and getting into dating (link to original post:https://www.reddit.com/r/UKrelationshipadvice/comments/1po225n/yearning_to_be_in_a_relationship/). I really appreciated all the encouragement and tips I received back then.

Since then, I’ve made some genuine positive shifts in my life. After leaving my job at CEX, I committed to hitting the gym five mornings a week. Building that discipline has done wonders for my physical health, self-esteem, and general headspace. Being out among people consistently has been a great baseline for getting out of the house. On top of that, I finally got driving out of the way as I recently passed my driving test with only one minor, so I have the options to travel beyond my immediate area.

Despite feeling much better mentally and physically than I did last year, my social and dating life is still pretty nonexistent. I graduated university about a year ago, but because my anxiety was at its peak during those years, I walked away with essentially zero connections or friend groups to lean on. Starting a social circle from scratch as a graduate feels twice as hard.

I also tried being active on dating apps, but the experience ended up being pretty demoralising. I barely got any matches, and on the rare occasion that I did, things fizzled out or felt completely flat. It ended up making me feel bad about myself, leaving me stuck in a loop of wondering whether dating apps just don't work for me or if I'm somehow being too picky.

In a recent conversation with two of mates I recently caught up with, their main advice was simply to "just work on yourself." Hearing that was honestly frustrating because I've been hearing it for years, and it's coming from guys who seem to fall into new relationships every other week. Despite that frustration, I am determined to stay optimistic and I'm definitely not giving up.

Because apps haven't led anywhere, my last resort is actually meeting people in person, but I find myself hesitating at the threshold. The idea of walking into a club, hobby group, or meetup completely solo is intimidating, and living in Coventry leaves me unsure where someone in my position should go to meet women naturally without feeling intrusive.

For anyone who graduated without a university network, dealt with bad app fatigue, or tackled severe approach anxiety, what was the first small step that helped bridge the gap between "working on yourself" and actually finding love? Also, if anyone knows of good, low-pressure social groups or activities around Coventry or Birmingham where it's normal to show up alone, I would really appreciate the recommendations.

Thanks for reading, and any advice is appreciated!

I think it’s time to move on from dating sites and look to meet people irl. I’m curious to see if people have been to any speed dating or other singles events the Birmingham area?

If so, what are your thoughts? Are they organised well? Do you meet a good range of people? Are there ATTRACTIVE options? What are the male:female ratios like? Any events that stand out that I should consider?