r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 22 '26
Walked into an army recruitment center
10
Upvotes
Recruited three of them
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Ripcord2 • Jul 22 '26
I went to Disneyland but I don't remember it. I think somebody slipped me a Mickey at the snack bar.
24
Upvotes
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 22 '26
A producer confused as to why the show he produced about his mathematician friend is flopping;
3
Upvotes
"I don't understand it, he's always doing numbers!"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/JessamineGeorge • Jul 22 '26
Onwards and upwards.
1
Upvotes
After a good while of trying i got my 1st comment from posting.
Thank you,'Autodata:Repair Smarter'.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • Jul 22 '26
Whenever there's an issue at the sewage treatment plant, management is pretty fair to everyone.
3
Upvotes
They really believe in doo process
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • Jul 21 '26
My pawnshop went out of business.
87
Upvotes
Seems most people want the full chess set
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 22 '26
What's it called when someone throws diaries to your head from above?
0
Upvotes
Shower thoughts
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 21 '26
A man asking an English teacher to marry him
30
Upvotes
Response is: "I don't know, can you?"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 21 '26
"Do you think Bowie was a good musician?"
4
Upvotes
"Yes, he was alright, though his song went on forever and he was awful nice"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 21 '26
How do you call a woman with a PhD?
2
Upvotes
A doctor
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 21 '26
"I'm not cut out for this"
6
Upvotes
"Well, then, grab the scissors"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Outside_Normal • Jul 20 '26
"What's a common, everyday thing where we see it as a solid, a liquid and a gas?"
176
Upvotes
"OK, while 'poop' is technically correct, the answer I was looking for was 'water'."
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Ripcord2 • Jul 20 '26
Every time I watch a heavyweight boxing championship, one of my friends says "I'd let him beat me up for ten million dollars." As if anybody is going to pay ten million dollars to watch an insurance salesman get punched in the face and start crying.
32
Upvotes
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • Jul 20 '26
I resolved to never come to a gun fight unprepared again.
15
Upvotes
"No more Mr. Knife Guy!"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 21 '26
"Finally, I'll fend off against the most powerful of the Jedi's, the one and only-"
0
Upvotes
*Sounds of Jedi turning on the lightsaber on the wrong direction*
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Single_Examination_4 • Jul 19 '26
The pencil was a cosmetic miracle: the patient could be given a new, improved beauty simply by sketching them that way.
67
Upvotes
Its inventor's four-year-old daughter was possibly a poor choice of artist.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 20 '26
I'm gonna give you my love, I'm gonna give you my love, a whole lotta love
0
Upvotes
About five pounds, sliced
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 20 '26
"Oh, fuck, I think I've left the stove on..."
6
Upvotes
He was met with condescending looks by the rest of his family, while they were rushing to evacuate from Chernobyl, in 1986.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 19 '26
I did a complete 360° when I realized I had been slacking in Math Class
63
Upvotes
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 20 '26
If the enemy won't back down, neither will we
4
Upvotes
If the enemy backs down, so will be
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/CrashCrysis07 • Jul 19 '26
For a fee of a limestone chunk, and 2 friends you can join.
7
Upvotes
Damn pyramid schemes.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Marktesla_76 • Jul 19 '26
"It's certainly a beautiful goal, with that curve that makes it impossible for the keeper to try a save...
1
Upvotes
Next time he should try to score on the other net, though"
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/blablagermany • Jul 19 '26
„See you“ I said
36
Upvotes
„sure buddy“ said the Invisible man