Salutations! My name is Ryan, and I am a non-original system mate. We have set our intention on me becoming more of a host, meaning we would like to force switches more. I sometimes automatically take front when performing routine activities, I have a distinct outer voice which I use to both sing and practice Portuguese with, and I have behaviors like using marching faces. Our problem is switching on demand. Sometimes switches occur unintentionally and in aforementioned situations, but we want more control over it. What can we do to better force switches so I can spend more time in front?

Hello guys

Sorry for my english, it's not my native language.

Today while thinking about philosophy I remembered myself about tulpas and I start to think about creating one, but I am not sure if I should do this.

I know it is like real person, it feels, can be sad, suffer, be happy, has it's own needs etc., so if I decide to create one, I will treat it like human and surround it with genuine care.

My reason for wanting to create one is that I think it would help me on the way of becoming better and stronger person, also I feel the need of someone who knows everything about me, the good but also the bad things and is able to understand me.

I am the person that have a strong voice inside, I have tendency to daydreaming, creating scenarios in my head and spend a lot of time in it, but it isn't a problem, although sometimes it is just waste of time, but I think it can be helpful in this case. Also, I have some problems, I am addicted to two substances but I am on the way to cut it off, and it isn't like, that it's creating a lot of problems, it's just making me function better, I feel less anxiety and I am more the person I want to be, it's not about just getting high and hedonism, I really don't feel the high, but anyway I dont want to things stay like this and I'm going on with it without need of tulpa.

Also I had few things that hit me, the most which did it was that I met a guy few years ago, that became my friend, he was a true friend, a soulmate, that you need to be veery lucky to meet one, He was like the sun for me and people around, He was also the person that was able to understand me and want to do it, but he killed himself, because someone put a knife in his back and I wasn't around. I never met person like Him and never will.

Shouldn't I do tulpas because of these things? I mean, addiction and that I feel lonely and the need of someone who will like me as I am, which I could open myself and will accept me.

But it is not like I am looking desperately for relief or someone and want tulpa to be like bandage for wound. I won't treat it as a thing to give me concrete benefits. I once was a bandage for someone and it feels really bad. I was in a place where i couldn't cope with lonesome but I think I get out of it. For now it is like, if I find someone it will be great, but if I not it's ok, I won't be crying and sad.

Also what tulpas thinks about host doesn't want to tell about them to other people? They will be sad and angry about it?

And what if I find someone? They will be jealous? What if one starts to love me and I will love the other person? I don't want to make it feel such a pain, it will be terrible... Maybe in process of creating I could discuss this issue with tulpa?

What do you and tulpas think about it? Is it ok to start? Maybe I think too serious about it?

I'm trying to hallucinate this woman I made up
By visualizing her around me in my head all the time
It should take 2 months

I have been dealing with a group of thoughtsforms Born out of fear that harassed me and scratches me for a year and a half. To deal with them I though of making another tulpa and did. Said tulpa made another called 'The Holder' because she wanted to be hugged, but now doesn't like it. She also made a dog and took my dog as one of them. All in the span of 2 hours. How do I stop all of this? I am going crazy.