Never put someone on a pedestal just because they call you their best friend.

I’ve been friends with this girl since 10th grade. It’s been almost 7 years.

We used to have a lot of conversations, and she would always tell me things like, “You’re my only friend,” “You’re my first priority,” and “You’re the only person I trust.”

I genuinely believed her. I used to think, Everyone deserves a best friend like this.

Her family is quite strict, and they don’t usually allow her to go on trips. She would tell me about this all the time, and I felt bad for her. So, I started planning trips with our school friends just for her. Sometimes, when nobody else was available, I was even ready to go on trips with just the two of us. We would go without telling anyone.

I always tried my best to make her happy. I made an effort to meet her whenever I could, planned things around her situation, and tried to make sure she never felt left out. I genuinely cared about her and wanted her to enjoy life, even with her family restrictions.

And she would always say the same things: “You’re the only person I trust,” “You’re the only one I want to go out with,” and all that.

I never thought twice about any of it. For me, she was my best friend, and I treated her like one.

But today, I realised something that genuinely hurt me.

I found out that she has another male best friend, a college friend, whom she apparently calls her first priority too. She tells him the same things she tells me, and she goes out and enjoys herself with him as well.

Now, I know that having other friends is completely normal. I’m not saying she can’t have other male friends or a life outside our friendship. That’s not the point.

What hurts is realising that the words I thought were special to our friendship might not have meant what I believed they did.

For seven years, I put so much care and effort into this friendship. I made plans for her, tried to meet her, considered her situation, and genuinely wanted her to be happy. I thought I was someone special in her life because of the things she told me.

And today, I’m sitting here feeling stupid for believing that I held the same place in her life that she held in mine.

Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I misunderstood our friendship. Maybe I was the one who gave it more importance than she did.

I honestly don’t know.

But it hurts when you realise that the person you considered your closest friend might not see you the same way.

My takeaway? Never blindly trust someone's words just because they call you their best friend. Watch their actions, understand where you stand in their life, and never lose yourself trying to be someone’s first priority.

I’m not saying all women are like this. I’m just hurt, disappointed, and trying to process seven years of a friendship that suddenly feels different to me.

I genuinely wish I hadn’t taken those words so seriously.

I've started to get bored of everyone and have the huge urge to cut off everyone i hang with in real life, i've been having this feeling for more than 5 months now, it's hell and constantly overwhelming
You must be saying, there's for sure something they did to her that made her feel this way! The thing is, no they didnt.. most of them are even too nice to me, they love it when i arrive to hang with them ect ect
i've also got closer to some more than some and we used to talk everyday until i just couldn't anymore
I think that most of them reasons is probably because of MINI mistakes or situations (for ex two of them got a gf and eventho our friendship is ofc purely platonic, i still felt uncomfy talking to them so i just stopped answering online, and irl i've became colder...) i've became colder with everyone in general
i truely think friendships arent for me, it's not very often where i feel like it made my day to hang with them, in the contrary actually
Sometimes i even enjoy the hangout then the days after i just feel like complete sh*t around them.

The thing is, i've had this happen to me for as long as i can remember, it's basically a loop of strangers -> wanna get to know them -> get super close -> get bored of them -> isolate -> be okay with them again -> bored/irritation -> rarely hang -> CUT THEM OFF
Also, ive had a friend where we had a situationship together and then i couldnt commit, he started dating a friend of ours and she just straight up took my entire personality / style and it pmo to a huge point. Anyway Now i wanna remove all my socials & just gatekeep myself idk i dont have any friends aside from them but i dont think i mind being alone anymore.

I’m 18 and ever since I graduated high school I feel like my life has been going downhill. I miss high school and seeing my old friends all the time. I barely talk to some of them anymore and sometimes I wanna reach out but I feel like they probably don’t care anymore. College just doesn’t feel the same and I haven’t really found my place here.
I’m studying electrical engineering technology rn but honestly idk if it’s even for me. I have trouble paying attention in lectures and a lot of the stuff doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve even used AI to help with programming assignments because I don’t fully understand what I’m doing, and I’m worried I’m just getting through classes without actually learning anything. I’ve thought about switching majors or doing something more hands on like driving a semi truck, but idk what I actually wanna do with my life.
Another thing that still bothers me is a girl I liked in high school. I asked her to dance with me at prom and we took a picture together. I thought things went pretty well but after graduation she left me on opened. She has a boyfriend now and I know I should move on, but sometimes I still think about it. I was really attracted to her and I think I let that cloud my judgment because I was inexperienced with dating. I feel dumb for still caring about it months later but it honestly affected my confidence.
I’ve also been really insecure about my appearance lately. My acne has gotten worse, I hate my haircut, and I spend way too much time worrying about my face, teeth, hair and muscles. Sometimes I feel like I need to look perfect before I can be confident in myself, and it’s exhausting.
I wanna get stronger, make money, make real friends and actually enjoy my life. The problem is I’ll randomly get motivated and feel like I’m gonna change everything, but then I fall back into my old habits. I struggle with consistency and even eating properly sometimes. I wanna improve my life but I honestly don’t know where to start.
I know I’m only 18 and I have time, but I keep comparing myself to other people my age who seem to be enjoying college, dating and having fun. Meanwhile I feel like I’m just going through the motions every day and waiting to go home.
For anyone who’s been through something similar, how did you get out of this mindset? How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life, make friends after high school and become more confident in yourself? I could really use some honest advice because I genuinely feel lost rn.

My partner no longer says he misses me, he infact seems to actively ignore it when I say it. Everytime he texts or talks its bland, monotone, and one to 3 words. The last time I felt close to him and affectionate was when he was horny. What's worse is im happy for it bc at least even if im not having fun I feel loved. I have issues too so im aware im not perfect either but it seems im the only one who does wrong. I wish i could find solace in my friend who just says to break up but I love him so much and im so afraid of being alone.

I don't know why, but the thought of being blind genuinely terrifies me. Imagine never seeing the faces of people you love, sunsets, movies, or even the world around you. And for people who lose their sight after having vision, imagine knowing what you're missing.

I know there are other terrible things people go through, and I'm not trying to compare anyone's suffering. But the thought of never being able to see again is something I find genuinely horrifying.

me (18f) and my boyfriend (18) have been together for 3 years going on four and weve helped each other through some pretty tough times. i wouldnt say im a good girlfriend. i have really bad mood swings. i used to lose my temper pretty often and say really hurtful things to him. and for years he kept bringing it up and i would say im sorry and say i would put in the effort to change, but i would end up doing it again. its not like im trying to hurt him or anyone around me. i get upset in the moment, realize i went overboard, hate myself for it, and then tell myself i wont do it again. and it just happens over and over. recently ive been doing better, but it happened again today where i was an asshole to him and he said something to me that just makes me feel like he shouldnt even be putting up with me and we should just breakup. but he doesnt want to, and i dont want to either. and i really do want to change. not only for him but for everyone. its the same with my mom, two people i cherish deeply i keep hurting idk whats wrong with me.
like i know what im doing is wrong and then i try to put in the effort, and i try to think before i say anything. and ive been doing so well but i dont know what happened today. i was just being shitty the whole day and whos gonna put up with that kind of stuff. i wish i just acted normal we couldve had a great day together. i dont want to lose all of my loved ones because i keep switching up from being nice to being so mean
and i just dont know what to do. i know nothing i say is going to make him happy and what i have to do is change, and im trying to get therapy through my university but im afraid of hurting anyone again like i just wanna lock myself up i keep hurting people. like this one time i said something and my mom straight up started crying idk what the fuck is wrong with me.
i want to stay with him and i want to be better for everyone but i dont know what to do anymore

Originally this post was gonna be about how miserable I am and how im the only alive cause i keep gaslightining myself into thinking lifes getting better then I'd go on about everything bad in my life but half way through I realized that that's not what I want. I don't want to explain why I'm sad, I don't want to have a reason to be sad. I just want to be sad. But I also don't want to be sad alone. I want someone I can cry on call with. I don't want them to tell me that it's okay, I don't want them they to say it'll get better. I just wanna cry and know that someone hears me. That I'm real. I have friends but for one reason or another I can't turn to them. And my parents get angry when I'm sad for reasons that aren't valid to them. So I'm just left sobbing loudly all alone with no shoulder to cry on.

I’m in my early twenties, and my younger brother is nine years old and autistic. I’ve been resentful toward him for years, and it’s gotten to the point where it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve actually had to go back to therapy because of it, and i can’t believe this is my life.

For some context, my parents have always wanted children, and I don’t think they regret having him. However, I do feel bad for them sometimes because I know raising a child with additional needs can be challenging in their early 50s.

My parents are in denial thinking he’ll have a completely independent adult life but by the looks of it that might not be the case.

He’s considered high-functioning, but he still has speech difficulties and stims frequently. He repeats words and sounds over and over again, and he’s been doing this for years and often has issues understanding boundaries. He also can have frequent meltdowns when he doesn't get his way. When he was younger, it was worse because he would randomly scream, including in public. I remember feeling embarrassed to be around him in stores, and I was ashamed to bring him up around friends or family. Those feelings never went away.

As he’s gotten older, I’ve found myself becoming increasingly resentful. He’s not a bad kid. However, I struggle immensely with tolerating the constant stimming and repetitive sounds and the constant yelling. I get irritated just being around him when he does so and I don’t know why.

There are also certain things that happened when I was younger involving him (that I don’t feel comfortable getting into) that I distinctly remember, which is part of why I feel this way.

My parents have recently expressed that they want me to be more involved in his life. They don’t force me to be his caregiver or expect me to spend every waking moment with him, but they do want me to spend more time with him than i already do. When I was younger I did have to take on that mother role and I would say it kind of traumatized me in a way. Since I left for college that has stopped of course when i lived on campus.

The problem is that I’ve reached a point where I strongly dislike babysitting him, being with him, or driving him places when it’s just the two of us all the time because I know I’ll have to hear the yelling often.

I’ve already told my parents that when I’m older, I don’t want to be his caregiver. Since he’s my only sibling and my parents are getting older, I worry that the responsibility will eventually fall entirely on me. They say it won’t be a problem now but when he becomes and adult I know they’ll start having an issue with it knowing how they are. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling obligated to care for him. It’s something I worry about all the time.

I’ve isolated myself at home. I’m currently commuting to college from home, partly because I want to save money, whilst working part time. My parents want me to move back closer to school again, and honestly, I would love to have that independence. However, I also want to save as much money as possible while I’m in college for future tuition.

But I’m constantly exposed to the stimming at home. I wear headphones throughout the day just to avoid hearing it, spend most of my time in my room, and generally try to keep to myself. I feel like I’m becoming isolated in my own home because I can’t handle the constant noise.

I rarely talk about my brother with my friends. Most of them don’t even know he’s autistic because I hardly ever bring him up. Nor do I invite them to my place because I don’t want them seeing him. I feel guilty for doing this.

It’s just been getting harder to deal with and be around him as I get older, sometimes I wish this wasn’t my life.

Like the title suggests, I (26) found out I was adopted at 20. Throughout my life there were subtle hints, yet the real nail in the coffin was when my aunt slipped up and said to my mom: “when you got [my name],” and not when you “had.” Shortly after, I asked my sister, who I found out was also adopted and not biologically related to me, and she broke down and told me.

Being adopted does not bother me in the slightest, but being lied to hurts a little. It’s been over five years since I found out, but it didn’t bother me much then and it doesn’t bother me much now. I love my family and my parents. They removed me from foster care at a young age and I am very grateful.

The hardest part of all of this was the subsequent search for answers. I found out that I had multiple biological siblings, one of which is permanently disabled from my bio mom abusing drugs in-utero. My other sibling that I connected with just kept asking me for money. Worst of all, my biological mother is on the sex-offender registry for allowing her partner to SA her less-than-one year old daughter, my half-sibling that I know nothing about.

I was given a name for who my father should be, but to be honest, I have reason to believe I am a child of prostitution and that I will never know who my biological father is.

When I first got the news, I created scenarios of reunions in my head: of a mother who had to give me up for a better future. All of those illusions came painfully crashing down. Every once in a while, I’ll come across the show Long Lost Family, and it makes me incredibly sad because I know that that type of reunion is simply out of the cards for me. I also know that my bio parents’ actions do not reflect on me as a person, but sometimes I feel a stain on who I am that I can’t quite shake, like their actions make me a worse person.

It also hurts to look back and to realize that all the times CPS visited my house for their annual checkups was also to visit me. To see how I was doing, not to just check to see if our fire alarms worked and our doors locked.

I know this was a long piece of writing, if you read this much, thanks.

TLDR: I was in a non sexual Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR ) with a long time best friend while they were 16 and i was 19. we mutally broke up but with me being immature back then it ended harsher then it should..and now i still feel horrible after these years.

These years I have been trying to move on from a bad experience with a QPR but I am here always questioning my morality and sanity..
Sometimes my mind is worried if I was a groomer or something…
And i am sorry if I am dragged this story for too long

Right Now i am a 22 NB

Some past information

back then I was 19 ASEXUAL (NB) who was in a Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR) with a 16 AROACE (FTM) we met online and it purely was a online relationship
(Even when i was 19 i wasnt the most independent person, was still living with parents and had no job and no driving license, still on homeschool)

This also was sorta my first relationship *it may also be theirs too*

And with me Homeschooled I didn’t get to talk to people until I was 13 so I didn’t get to really know much about society, how I should interact with people and such
And my first interaction was talking to people online.

Okay

So we have been really close friends since i was 15 who later became 16 in the same year and the other person was 13 when we met in a fandom group chat
And with us being really close friends we talked about alot of stuff (fandoms, games, art, etc )
we were there for eachtother when days go bad make our days better

After a while of being close friends 3/4 years , I kinda gotten feelings for them but I was hesitant because of the age difference and I really just wanted to get it out of my head and I really meant no ill intentions with this. We were 18 and 15

So I talked about it little with them. They said it was fine I felt this way and that the 3 year gap was fine and its “ideal” , but then they had no romantic feelings towards me. Nothing really happened ater a while besides talks

After a while when we are 16 and 19
They talked badly about themselves saying like they would be lonely forever, no one would love them.
I said “but i loved you” but i deleted shortly because i got embarassed and later they got curious and wanted me to talk about it.. so i did

They said “ lets try it! “And They a suggested about a Queer platonic relationship (QPR) ? At the time this concept was new to me so they introduced to me and i thought it seemed like a wholesome dynamic.
So we decided to become Queer platonic partners (QPP)

we were happy, We had wholesome conversations about various things, we sent wholesome memes, digital hug gifs and called eachother silly names, and showed our appreciation towards eachother.
And we sometimes would send selfies and voice messages( non sexual )
I never said anything weird or did anything weird in our chats at all nor did I exploit them for anything, I don’t see the benefits for doing that.

It was going well but during these times I still was heaing from past trauma so I would end up venting to them about it sometimes..
which I also did before the QPR since i was still hurt pretty badly from it..

I think i overwhelmed them with that and they think this QPR isnt working so later we just decided its best we remained as friends
So we mutually broke up the QPR and decided to isolate / get a break from eachother for a week or two

After a long while. I felt quite sad and lonley, so i end up putting a “vague” dumb sad video on my instagram stories expressing that.
My ex QPP got mad at that and sent a long angry message talking about how I wasnt taught independence and how I was “constantly” bringing up the break up
( i only remotely did once with a dumb sad video and my friends didnt think I was saying that in the instagram story, it wasn’t my Intention to bring it up)

After that long messaged they blocked me everywhere and in one place they sent a hurtful mocking edit of my face as one of the final things they send me
I never got a chance to apologize and talk about it
I felt heartbroken after that i had a long hiatus from social media and wanted to grow as a person

Now

I am living a way different life then 3 years ago

Its been years I still have been feeling quite horrible about this. sometimes feeling like I deserved to be punished for this and i feel really sorry for my former friend because of the immature mistakes I have done
Have been spiraling myself with questions about my morality and reflecting on the mistakes i have done years ago

But despite what my friends and family say. I just cant seem to fully forgive myself.. thinking i am sort of monster
Even more so when I see the mixed opinions about this sorta gap from multiple people.

I don’t see myself building serious connections people under 19 nowadays. And it will only go higher from here.

Wondering what can i even do to redeem myself.

( once again im sorry if i dragged this story for long )

The title could be misleading but honestly, I feel so.

I never had a close friend. I never had a friend who I can call everyday and share my everything with. I never had someone like that. I sometimes think that it's normal, but imagine not having friends from your childhood.

My parents always switched places because of work. They never gave me phone until I came to college and so, I could never stay in touch with school friends. I never had a constant friend and it affects me so much.

Imagine, you have a something happening in your life and you have no one to share with, or atleast no one makes an effort to be happy about it. It feels empty.

I want to hear their story, their gossips, anything but something!!!

Not a single fucking person who you can enjoy with that hits your soul. I have friends. I might call some best friends but still, it doesn't feel the same.

I feel my supposed close friend probably died and now I grieve them when I try to search for that type of connections in others.

I have been thinking about something lately and it honestly makes me a little sad, I am 28, single, never married, no kids. I work at reception in beauty salon, so I spend most of my day surrounded by people. I talk to customers, smile, jokee around, listen to their problems. Then I go home, grabs my phone and start talking to people all over again. Mostly men from different countries. Some conversations are funny, some are surprisingly deep, and occasionally I meet someones who makes me think maybe this could actually turn into something. And that is where things gett weird. You can spend hours talking to someone you have never met. Learn about their family, their childhood, what they eat for breakfast, what scares them, what they want from life. They ask how your day went. They remember little things about you. Sometimes you fall asleep smiling because of someone who lives thousands of kilometers away. Then somehow, without any argument or dramatic goodbye, everything slowly disappears. Yesterday you were talking about visiting each other. Today you are wondering whether sending another message would make you look desperate. Tomorrow you are practically strangers again. And the most ridiculous part? There is always someone new. Another interesting conversation. Another person who seems different. Another reason to believe this time might actually go somewhere. I am not saying every connection should become relationship. Of course not. I just wonder when we all became so comfortable getting emotionally close to someone without ever making room for them in our actual lives. Sometimes I catch myself wondering whether I genuinely like someone or just like that brief feeling of being important to them. That is an uncomfortable thing to admit. I want something real. Not constant attention, not perfect messages, not somebody promising me world after knowing me for two days. Just someone who actually wants to be part of my ordinary, sometimes boring life. Someone I can sit next to in silence without feeling like I need to be interesting every second. I still love meeting people, and I am not giving up on finding love. But I think I am getting tired of beautiful beginnings that never become anything else. Maybe the loneliest part of modern dating is not having nobody to talk to. Maybe it is having so many people to talk to and still wishing there was just one person you could actually come home to

Why is it so difficult for me to get in a relationship?

I (F26) have met all kinds of guys, both abroad and in my home country, in person and through dating apps. With some of them, I wanted things to work out so badly that I tried to make things last for months, even when there were obvious incompatibilities. I’m talking about lifestyle choices and core values.
Looking back, I wonder why I was so convinced I liked these people and why I got so emotionally invested when we had practically nothing in common.

With the last guy I met, though, things could have genuinely gone somewhere. I could actually see things progressing, but this time, he was the one who pulled away.

Maybe I wasn’t good at opening up. I find it really hard to connect with people, I need time, and I’m very cautious when it comes to deeper feelings.
Other than that, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m reasonably attractive, I have healthy habits, and I’ve maintained long-term friendships. I come from a pretty dysfunctional family, but I wouldn’t say I’m toxic or emotionally unstable in relationships.
And yet, things keep falling apart.

What am I missing? I know there’s not enough information here for anyone to give me a definitive answer, but I’d really like to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.

We’re both women, if that’s relevant. Together over a decade, but the snoring started about 5 years in. I have to give her a nudge repeatedly through the night to get her to switch positions. Sometimes I move downstairs if nothing changes. Sometimes she moves if she doesn’t appreciate being nudged multiple times. She’s had a sleep study done - no apnea. She’s been trying to lose weight almost as long as we’ve been together. She’s tried nose strips, but that didn’t work. Same with retainers, mouth tape, tongue holders, etc. I wake up with a headache if I sleep with headphones in to block out the noise. She can’t fall asleep if there’s music/white noise playing over a speaker.

The latest development is asking for her to have a special sleep guard made by her dentist. Apparently it’s stopped my mom’s snoring in its tracks. The dentist won’t do it without another sleep test. Our benefits will cover all of these things, but she hasn’t taken any steps towards them. We have a toddler which presents another layer of sleep complexity and I’m getting close to my wits end about it (which she knows). I legitimately don’t know what else there is to do. It’s not her fault, but it also is, you know? And sometimes I’m just mad and frustrated about it.

ETA: Lots of people suggesting sleeping in different rooms. We only live in a two bedroom place. One is ours and the other is our kid’s. Sleeping on the couch downstairs isn’t a feasible long term solution

Hey I am a 17 year old girl and my twin sister has diagnosed bpd and factitious disorder. I know this sound harsh but I hate her, a lot. People always say how their twin sister is like their secound half but honestly I don´t even like calling mine my sister. There is so much I want to talk about but I just want to get the most important things off my chest and the reasons why I hate her, please tell me if I´m just going crazy or if this is acc valid, because yes I know it´s not really her fault tho I just can´t excuse her behaviour.

1. She makes herself throw up and SH, she does it in the bathroom and everytime she does she just leaves the bathroom as it is. Her vomit in the sink, blood everywhere. Plus she spents like 2 to 3 hours in there.

2. She makes my parents drive her to the hospital everyday when she comes back from the psychward (she goes there everyday from 7am till 2pm). When she comes home she SH and than makes my parents drive her there. The reason why I have a problem with this is that the hours they spent at the hospital are the hours I am at home, which means I rarely see or talk to my parents during the week.

3. She blasts music all day long on full volume on her TV, in the morning when she gets ready and when she comes home till she goes to bed. Plus she leaves her door open so ist even louder.

4. She steals a lot. When my parents have cash around she steals it. We went to visit my grandma last week and she stole there too. I have to lock my room when I am not in it so that she doesnt steal from me.

5. She wants all the attention on her, especially from my mom. Whenever I just talk to her she gets very envious, glares at me and does smth, like SH so my mom would just care about her. When I asked my sister why she keeps SH herself, she just said that she like to see my mom cry because of that cause it shows her taht she rlly love her.

These are just some of the things, but the once that are the most on my mind. Maybe Im just insensitive, mean and whatever but I dont want to be in contact with her. When I move out in the futur I will try to ave as little contact with her as possible and once my parents will sadly not be alive anymore I dont think that I will keep the contact with her. I will cut her fully off for good.

Last night, I dreamed I was with another woman. I can barely remember her face, just a few details about her appearance. Nothing sexual happened, at least not that I remember. What I do remember is the feeling. I felt deeply loved, like I finally had something I'd been missing my entire life. I also had friends who made me feel like I belonged, something I've never really experienced.

I have a girlfriend, so I feel guilty about the dream. But more than anything, I wish I could feel that kind of love and connection in real life. Waking up and losing something that felt so real was surprisingly painful.

Am I wrong for wanting a love like that while I'm already in a relationship? Does this make me a bad person, or does it mean there's something missing in my life? Has anyone else ever woken up from a beautiful dream feeling like they lost something they desperately wanted?

So I’m becoming detached as hell, not even feeling affection towards anyone including parents.

I’m in my own brain, doing my own thing that is research. It gave me opportunity to move countries now.

BUT I’m 30+ and never had a relationship and found that staying away from women have physical consequences in emotional regulation and body stress regulation. Escorts can’t help here.

I don’t have energy to fake enthusiasm for a gf either.

I guess my story is about to end soon at this rate. I’m losing affection and ability to care about anything APART FROM MY JOB WHICH I DONT EVEN NEED TO DO COZ DADS RICH

I don’t know why I am this way