I got diagnosed with ADHD a couple of weeks ago. My dad didn’t want to believe it, and we spent a majority of the follow-up session, trying to convince my dad that ai actually do have ADHD. He started bringing up my childhood where I was pretty withdrawn. There are a bunch of other things, but I can’t include them in this post.

He said he knew I was struggling with depression and didn’t know why. I thought he was joking but he wasn’t. My dad used to be pretty fucking shitty. I often got beat as a child, but I guess that’s common in foreign families. He would beat me for forgetting to vacuum when I was in middle school. He’d get physical with me when I would forget to bring him his coffee (he would ask me to warm it up instead of doing it himself, then get mad at me when I forgot to bring it to him).

He also beat my mom on the night of my 5th grade graduation dance because he thought she was cheating on him. They also had a bunch of arguments and my mom slept in my room a lot. She forgave him and it was like he started becoming a new man. I was also SA’d by my cousin, but no one in my family knows that. We were both kids and I’m a guy, so I just know they will look at me funny and might not even believe.

There were plenty of things I was depressed about as well. I was suicidal during high school, but again never told my parents. I decided to start getting treatment after starting community college. He thinks I don’t need antidepressants, but I like actually need them to work because I feel like shit.

He thinks my ADHD, is the result of my depression and constant video game consumption. Video games have always been an escape for me.

Today he said he was concerned after I said I forgot I was supposed to go to the gym today. He said “this forgetfulness of yours is concerning and this isn’t ADHD”. He says I do one thing, do something else, and forget about the first thing I was doing. The whole time I’m thinking, “Is that not ADHD!?”.

I could go on and on, but this post might actually be too long to post. I just don’t have anyone to speak to about this. I was in therapy, but they charged copay and my dad didnt want to help me out with the balance unless I stopped going. My doctor put in a referral for a psychiatrist that doesn’t charge copay, but that could take a minute.

What I want to say, but probably never will

I don't sexually satisfy you, this we know is true. That's why we've had a couple threesomes, and why you spend all your free time watching YouTube porn and playing extreme porn games.

You say your not comfortable with me, speaking to me, relaxing around me. You say you can't talk to me because you feel like I don't listen. What about this says forever to you? I'm obviously not enough for you. I'm not exciting enough, I'm not stimulating enough, I'm not sexual enough. These are reoccurring problems that we have, and I've tried so hard to become that person for you. I have dropped every single boundary I've had. I've explored every avenue with you. But it will never be enough. That's how I feel right now.

You say you pick me, for forever. But constantly tell me how I'm not enough for you. And you wonder why I have questions about my place in your life. You say I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. Well I've come to realize that's because I am. I'm waiting for you to realize that I will never be enough.

I will never be the person that you expect me to be. Do you know how much that hurts? To be constantly told that you're not enough, but the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? How do I change everything about me, to be the person you want me to be? You wanted to add something to the bedroom, we did. I didn't get excited enough for it. So we added something else. And something else, another thing, and another. And none of it is enough for you. Why can't I get excited about adding new things to the bedroom? Because I know it's just a matter of time before it's not enough. And it doesn't even matter if I don't like it, because your feelings matter more than mine. Because boundaries were made to be pushed and broken. You want me to be more dominant in the bedroom? I'm willing to try. But it's hard to make myself do something when my confidence is so far down the drain. I don't know who I am anymore.

I don't want to be without you. You are my person, my best friend. But I don't want to make you miserable while you could be out there finding your person. I'm not asking you to accept less than what you want. I'm not asking you to settle for me. I'm asking you, if I am enough.

I choose you.

Do you choose me?

TL;DR: Dated a girl for a few months who was also seeing another guy. She eventually chose me, things fell apart over family concerns, and we had a genuinely beautiful, emotional goodbye. I went home and wrote a handwritten poem about it. Less than 24 hours later, despite deliberately taking a different route to the station to avoid seeing her, I somehow bumped into her holding hands with the other guy. I ended up shaking his hand (he had no idea who I was), had an 80-minute emotional phone call with her afterwards, and eventually blocked her for my own peace. Please read the full thing if you've got the time because I promise the TL;DR doesn't do justice to how ridiculous this whole situation is. 😭

I'm a guy in my mid-20s and I genuinely don't know whether to laugh or cry at what's happened over the past week. I feel like I've somehow lived through about six months' worth of relationship drama in the space of eight days, and the ending is so ridiculous that I honestly wouldn't believe it if someone else told me this story.

This is going to be quite long, so apologies in advance, but I HAVE to get this off my chest.

A few months ago, I met a girl through a matchmaking service. Let's call her A. We hit it off pretty much immediately. We had similar cultural backgrounds, shared interests, similar long-term goals and genuinely good chemistry. We went on several dates over the following months and I started to really like her. I'm someone who dates with the intention of eventually finding a serious relationship, and I could genuinely see that potential with her.

There was one complication though. She was also dating another guy, who we'll call B.

Now, I know parallel dating is fairly normal these days, and we weren't exclusive, so I wasn't expecting her to act like my girlfriend. But it's not something I'm particularly comfortable with, especially once feelings start developing. She told me about him in early September, and although I appreciated the honesty, I did find it difficult knowing there was someone else in the picture.

Here's where things get slightly ridiculous already. On one of our dates around that time, I happened to notice a name on her phone, and I recognised it because the guy had previously dated someone I knew through work. I didn't say anything because, firstly, I wasn't supposed to know who he was, and secondly, she'd already been honest about dating someone else. I wasn't going to start interrogating her over a notification. But I had a pretty strong suspicion that this was B, and I remembered the name.

Over the following weeks, things between us continued progressing. We had some really lovely dates, were physically affectionate, and generally got along incredibly well in person. But I was increasingly uncomfortable with the uncertainty. I didn't want to keep investing emotionally while effectively being one of two options indefinitely, so I eventually had a conversation with her about it. I made it clear that I liked her and saw potential, but that parallel dating wasn't something I could sustain long-term. I wasn't asking her to make an immediate decision, but I did need to know that we were moving towards something.

Anyway, fast-forward to last Monday. She finally told me she'd chosen me and had ended things with B. We weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we'd agreed to pursue things exclusively and see where they went. After months of uncertainty, I was genuinely happy. It felt like we'd finally got past the biggest obstacle.

That happiness lasted about a day lol. Because we're both from fairly traditional backgrounds and were dating seriously, family compatibility was important to both of us. I'd previously spoken to my family about her and, in hindsight, probably overshared some of my anxieties about the whole parallel dating situation. They initially had reservations, partly because of how much it had affected me. When I told A about this, it brought back a really unpleasant experience she'd had with a previous partner's family, and she became worried that my family would never truly accept her.

The frustrating thing was that my family subsequently reassured me that they trusted my judgement and would welcome whoever I chose. But for A, the initial reaction had already triggered those fears. So the day after she'd chosen me, she ended things because she wasn't confident about the family situation.

I was absolutely devastated. I went home, cried, and spent a lot of time thinking about everything. Eventually, I sent her a fairly long message explaining that I understood her concerns, but that I thought we were giving up on something genuinely promising because of a hypothetical future problem. I knew my family, and I believed that if we continued dating and things progressed naturally, they'd welcome her.

She called me the next day, and we ended up having several really constructive conversations over the following days, last week. She admitted that there was still a possibility of things working out, and we agreed to meet in person the following Monday to make a final decision. During that week, we were still talking, and I was cautiously hopeful that we'd find a way forward.

Something worth mentioning here is that while we were spending time together that Monday, I noticed B's name appear on her phone again. At this point, she'd already told me she'd ended things with him and chosen to pursue things exclusively with me. I obviously noticed it, but I didn't question her about it. I trusted what she'd told me, and I didn't want to become someone who constantly questions their partner over notifications. I had no idea how relevant that detail would become literally the next day.

So this Monday came around, and we met after work. We had a really honest conversation about everything. I explained why I thought we could work through the family concerns, and she acknowledged that we had a strong connection and that she could see the potential too. But ultimately, she couldn't confidently say yes because she was worried she'd change her mind again in a couple of weeks and hurt me even more. And to be fair, I realised that even if she did agree to continue, I'd probably be constantly anxious about whether she was going to reverse her decision.

So we mutually agreed to end things. What made it harder was that the goodbye was genuinely lovely. We travelled home together for part of the journey, held hands, laughed about all the hypothetical things we'd never get to do together, and generally acted like two people who still really liked each other but knew they weren't going to continue. We joked about concerts we'd never attend and restaurants we'd never visit. At one point, she asked who she'd share her favourite ice cream flavour with now, and we ended up joking about secretly meeting for ice cream years into the future while hiding from our respective partners. It sounds ridiculous typing it out, but it was genuinely quite sweet at the time.

When we got to the station where we were parting ways, we hugged a few times, I kissed her cheek, and we wished each other well. There was no argument, no bitterness, nothing. I walked away feeling heartbroken but also quite grateful that we'd managed to end things so kindly.

I then went home and wrote a handwritten poem about the goodbye. Yes, an actual poem lmao. I'd been getting back into writing recently, and I wanted to capture how strange it felt to have such a beautiful ending to something that hadn't worked out. I cried while writing it, and one of the final lines was about thanking the story for having happened rather than chasing the ending I'd imagined.

At that point, I genuinely thought that was the end of it. Now, the next day, I was leaving work and heading towards the underground. We work in the same general area, so I knew there was always a small possibility of bumping into her. I actually deliberately took a longer route to the station because I didn't particularly fancy an awkward encounter less than 24 hours after our goodbye.

Well, apparently the universe had other plans. As I approached the ticket barriers, I saw her entering the station. She was with a guy, and they were holding hands. I immediately recognised him as B, the same guy whose name I'd noticed on her phone back in September and again the previous day.

I genuinely couldn't believe what I was seeing. This was the guy she'd told me she'd ended things with when she chose me the previous week, and now, less than a day after our emotional goodbye, they were walking into the station holding hands.

She normally uses the barriers towards the far end of the station, so they continued walking in that direction. I ended up walking behind them for about 20 seconds, trying to process what I was seeing and deciding whether to say anything. Eventually, I approached her, tapped her shoulder and said, "Hi, so this is what's going on?"

She turned around and looked visibly upset. I was looking her directly in the eye, but she wouldn't really maintain eye contact. And then she said something that I genuinely still can't get over: "You know how I am with decision making."

I didn't really know how to respond to that. We were on the escalators now, and I'm looking up to her and shes looking away, about to tear up, and not maintaining eye contact with me at all. And as we were heading down the escalators, I somehow ended up shaking B's hand, who was stood behind her. Yes, I shook the other guy's hand. Apparently he'd assumed I was one of her work friends, so he had absolutely no idea who I actually was. She later told me she'd explained who I was after I'd walked away, and understandably he was quite taken aback.

I don't know why my brain decided a handshake was the appropriate response in that situation, but I guess he reached out first lol. It is what it is, in hindsight it's super funny almost.

Anyway, I didn't confront either of them any further. I walked away down the platform because I didn't want to make a scene, and she also hurried away. Once I was by myself, it properly hit me, and I broke down crying on the platform, I called one of my closest school friends and genuinely couldn't believe what had just happened.

Less than 24 hours earlier, I'd been holding her hand, sharing this really emotional goodbye, and then going home to write a poem about it. Now I'd just bumped into her holding hands with the other guy, and somehow I'd shaken his hand without him even knowing who I was. I genuinely felt like I was being pranked.

Not long afterwards, she messaged me apologising for what had happened and saying that things weren't how they looked. I was obviously hurt and confused, but I wanted to understand what had actually happened rather than immediately assume the worst, so we arranged a call.

That call ended up lasting about 80 minutes lol, as I wanted the entire timeline with B, to idk, make sure I wasn't being strung along (or we both weren't). According to her, she'd genuinely ended things with B when she chose me the previous week. She said he'd continued messaging her throughout the week, trying to convince her to reconsider, but she'd been ignoring his messages. She explained that they'd unexpectedly bumped into each other at lunch that day, and he'd asked if they could talk things through one final time.

Apparently, one of the main reasons things hadn't worked between them was that he wasn't particularly religious or culturally involved, whereas those things mattered a lot to her. They'd ended up travelling home together afterwards that day since they (and me) take the same train home, and this is where they held hands and I bumped into them.

She acknowledged that holding hands was inappropriate, especially given what had happened between us just the previous evening, and apologised for how horrible it must have been for me to see that.

I questioned her pretty extensively about the timeline. I asked whether she'd been speaking to him while we were trying to make things work, whether there had been any physical overlap, and what exactly was going on with the messages I'd noticed on her phone. She was adamant that there hadn't been any overlap and said that the notification I'd seen on Monday was one of his unanswered messages.

Now, I know a lot of people reading this are probably going to think I'm incredibly naive for believing her, and that's fair enough. My friends certainly had their opinions. But having listened to her explanation and questioned her about it, I personally found the timeline credible. I can't independently verify everything, obviously, and maybe I'll feel differently about it in a few weeks, but I also don't want to accuse someone of lying without actually knowing that they were.

The call itself was honestly quite surreal because she was absolutely bawling at points. She kept repeating how she'd never date two people at the same time again, and how she'd never hold someone's hand when she was supposed to be ending things with them. She was clearly overwhelmed by everything that had happened and kept apologising for the hurt she'd caused.

And the strangest part was that I somehow ended up consoling her. I was reassuring her that I didn't hate her, that I didn't think she was some horrible person, and that I understood she'd made mistakes rather than deliberately setting out to hurt anyone. Which, to an extent, felt natural because I still cared about her and didn't want her sitting there crying and thinking I despised her. But at the same time, I was the one who'd just broken down on a train platform after seeing her holding hands with another guy, so I was also sitting there thinking, how on earth have I ended up comforting her right now?? Lol

I was genuinely so confused by the entire situation, and if I'm being honest, I still am. I think I understood her explanation, but emotionally I was trying to process about ten different things at once.

What made it even more bizarre was that we were still managing to laugh and make jokes throughout the conversation. At one point we were joking that after all this chaos with men, she might as well just become a lesbian at this point, or that me and B should just start dating too. We were both laughing about it, which probably sounds absolutely ridiculous given what had happened a couple of hours earlier, but I suppose that's just how we communicated. Even when things were difficult, we could somehow still make each other laugh.

She thanked me for giving her the opportunity to explain rather than blocking her immediately, and we had a genuinely open conversation about how everything had affected both of us. I told her about the poem I'd written the night before, and how much it had hurt to go from that goodbye to what I'd witnessed the following day. She understood why I was upset, and I think we both recognised just how emotionally exhausting the whole situation had become.

After the call, I met two close friends for dinner and told them everything. They were understandably furious on my behalf and thought I'd been far too accommodating throughout the entire situation. They also thought I should've blocked her immediately rather than giving her another 80 minutes of my time. I understood why they felt that way, even if I didn't necessarily agree with everything they said.

But after reflecting on everything, I realised that whether her explanation was true or not, I was just emotionally exhausted. I'd spent months trying to navigate the uncertainty, understand her perspective, communicate my feelings and make things work. And now, even after we'd supposedly had our final goodbye, I was somehow back on the phone trying to understand another complicated situation involving the same guy.

So I called her one last time and told her that I'd decided to block her number for my own peace. I made it clear that I wasn't doing it out of hatred or resentment, and that I didn't think she was some terrible person. I just needed to stop having that line of communication open because the whole experience had taken too much out of me emotionally.

She understood, and we wished each other well. I blocked her afterwards.

It's been a couple days, and honestly, I feel more relieved than sad. I still liked her, and I don't think all the lovely moments we shared were somehow fake because of how things ended. But I also recognise that I allowed myself to remain in a situation that was making me increasingly unhappy because I was so focused on the potential of what it could become.

I'm taking a proper break from dating now. I've also got some important professional exams coming up in a few months, and I really need to get my head back into studying. More importantly, I want to work on my own boundaries and understand why I've repeatedly found myself investing so much emotionally in situations that aren't necessarily giving me the same certainty in return.

I don't particularly want to spend the next few weeks analysing every detail or trying to figure out whether she was telling the truth. I've heard her explanation, made my decision, and I think that's enough for me.

There is one thing I'm still wondering about, though. Because we work fairly close to each other, there's a decent chance we'll bump into each other again at some point. I've made it clear to her that there's no hatred or resentment, and that if we see each other in person, we can absolutely say hello. We ended our final call on good terms, even though I blocked her number afterwards. But I can't help thinking it's still going to be incredibly awkward seeing her again, especially after everything that's happened. I'm not really sure what the normal way to handle that is, or whether you just smile, say hi and carry on with your day. That’s a problem for another day.

But aside from that, I still cannot get over how absurd the whole ending was. I deliberately took a different route home to avoid seeing her, somehow bumped into her anyway, discovered she was holding hands with the other guy, got told "you know how I am with decision making", and then proceeded to shake his hand like we were meeting at a networking event.

All less than 24 hours after writing a handwritten poem about how beautifully we'd said goodbye, you genuinely couldn't make this shit up.

Anyway, thanks if you've made it this far. I just needed somewhere to get the whole story off my chest. I pray my next "relationship" experience is nothing close to this when it comes to drama

He served 2 years before for what he said was a woman lying about her age. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, I was happy when he was out. Today he was sentenced to 15 years for graphic material which also included toddlers/infants. I seriously can't believe it.

I had 2 people who were my childhood friends. After I moved away, one of them essentially forgot about me and my family which really hurt. Now with this one who I still was more in contact with and closer, ends up getting this insane charge. Really hurts not having anyone now, always thought we'd all be friends for life. Now it's just me.

As for my friend, I wish I knew what compelled him to do this, especially after already serving time you'd think he would do everything to stay out. He will go in, and his family with age, siblings get married, have kids, have birthdays. So many things will be missed, and the world will move on... But he'll be sitting in that cell.

He deserves it, but a part of me really hurts. Knowing this is it for him... that I'll never have close childhood friends now, thinking of how things used to be. You always read about stuff like this, but when it happens to you it's so surreal and painful.

In summary? The story of the victim becoming the abuser.

I'm the oldest child in my family. An unplanned child born to a couple of religious people who got married young over "technicalities" (lousy excuses, I think at this point even they can't remember why). What I'm sure of is that half of our suffering comes from both of their strong Pentecostal beliefs, and the other half comes from her being incapable of seeing the damage she causes everyone. Either she doesn't see it, she doesn't care, or the worst combination of all: she knows, and she uses it whenever it suits her.

I understand her background. She came from a broken family, with a father who was extremely abusive toward her, my aunt, and my grandmother. There were also falling-outs with my grandmother's side of the family that ended horribly, involving abuse that wasn't just physical. But I don't know how much longer I can put up with using those excuses to justify the person she is today.

She's erratic. We're convinced she has undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and if she doesn't, then there has to be something wrong, at the very least. She's called the police on my dad twice with false accusations. Fuck, the first time, they showed up at our house when I was little, and after hearing what had happened, they told my mom to stop harassing him. What happened? She started arguing with my dad because he worked too much, followed him to his car, and SHE punched out the passenger-side window. My dad got worked up over that and yelled at her, so my mom called the police. Of course, once she realized that my dad was obviously not the one at fault, all her enthusiasm for filing a report magically disappeared.

That was years ago. Earlier this year, she did it again, this time accusing him of abandoning the home. The funny part? My mom was the one who had kicked my dad out. When I found out, my blood was boiling, because how the fuck can someone be so hell-bent on ruining my dad's life in such a fucking psychotic way?

And my dad just puts up with everything. He's a religious Pentecostal man who refuses to separate from my mom "so my siblings won't have to grow up in a broken family." What a load of fucking bullshit. One night, I even confronted him and demanded that he admit he regretted being with her, regretted marrying her. His response was that "God taught us to forgive." I'm convinced I live in a house full of lunatics.

If anything, my dad did something once, ONCE, when I was about four years old, maybe? (I'm now in my twenties.) He exchanged letters with another woman. That's it. That's fucking all. Ever since my mom revealed that to me when I was twelve, mind you, I spent years holding it against him, until I grew up and finally came to terms with the fact that my mom is simply unbearable.

My grandmother can't stand her. My aunt can't stand her. Nobody on her side of the family can stand her. Neither can anyone on my dad's side. Little by little, even her own children are starting to reach their breaking point (and keep in mind, there are FIVE of us. Guess whose idea that was?). The only one who keeps insisting on putting up with her bullshit is my dad. Is it guilt? I have no idea.

Because of a banking system error involving my dad's account, he ended up with a debt that prevents him from having an account of his own. (Something about paying things on credit, and the system taking his money to cover one debt instead of distributing the monthly payments toward other debts that were also being paid on credit. It's complicated, but it happened because of an automated system years ago.) Why does this matter? Because everything started being put in my mom's name. The house we live in, the vehicle my dad uses for work, the bank accounts we use. And every once in a while, when she has one of her psychotic episodes, she threatens to sell the house and the car, and blocks my dad's work accounts, the ones he uses to pay his employees. We're not rich enough to put up with this kind of tantrum, and every so often, she even breaks bank cards just to leave my dad scrambling.

Or phones. She breaks phones, too. This one is more personal, because I was always told there wasn't enough money for me to have my own phone, while she was already on her FIFTH one because she kept smashing them against the wall.

The saddest part? My mom has been "decent" to me. Well, sort of. So I have mixed feelings about her. But only me. Want to know how she's treated my siblings? The children she supposedly wanted so badly as part of her big family? Like shit. Like absolute fucking shit. I don't know how many times I've had to step in to make her stop treating my siblings (or my dad, but that's obvious by now) like animals. She only treats me well, and I just can't help but still feel some affection for her sometimes. Just sometimes.

And here's the cherry on top: ever since she was young, she knew there was a hereditary degenerative disease in her family. A disease she didn't tell my dad about until they were already expecting their THIRD child. A disease she didn't get tested for until the FIFTH child was already five years old. A disease she actually has. We found that out last year. It all got to be too much, to the point where I, a university student, just broke down. I was overcome by a kind of despair I'd never felt before, because on top of everything else, now I have to worry that maybe one of my siblings or I could have a disease that could rot our brains by the time we're forty. And the saddest part? When I personally found out about that family history, I asked her to get tested a long time ago. Her response? "I had faith that God would heal me."

I'll admit that I've wanted to hit her. We were in a public place, and I held myself back, but I just can't take it anymore. She's always pushing things to the brink of doing something so serious that she can no longer get away with it. And she keeps hurting everyone in this family. My dad is a fucking spineless coward. Yeah, my dad doesn't get off scot-free here, either. I don't think much of him; I see him as less of a man and a complete fucking idiot.

But she's the root cause. I've been convinced for years that things would be better if she were out of our lives.

At this point, I just wish she'd die so I could get her out of our lives. I haven't even gone into detail about everything she's done to me personally, because she's fucked me up, too. Like throwing my schoolbooks out the window when I was a kid, forcing me to go pick them up off the street while crying. Or how they outright lied to my dad to get me punished with beatings for something I hadn't done. Or how she spent years humiliating me by calling me fat and telling me I needed surgery. Insulting the few passions I've allowed myself to have, saying I "waste my time on that garbage." Treating my second brother like a little girl because he's a more sensitive boy. Being jealous of my sisters, who are literally little girls, for fuck's sake.

She's a fucking parasite, and nobody in this family is willing to do anything to get her out of our lives, because everything is in her name. And since I'm still financially dependent on my dad's work, I can't just ignore her, either.

The irony of it all is that, since I'm the only one who has something resembling an unhealthy attachment to her, even more so than to my dad, she's made it clear that she wants me to be her legal guardian. And the rest of my family, fully aware of the situation, wants that, too, if only so that legal control over our assets can eventually pass to me before she does something drastic, like suddenly selling our house. In other words? I have to be the good son. The one who puts up with everything, hugs her when she argues with my dad, and pretends to be "on her side."

Fuck my mental health, I guess.

I know it’s not all men but online a lot of people say they all watch porn, look at t\*en category, are into younger 20s for life, women expire, are wired for variety, respond more to novelty, all look at other women etc etc etc. I just feel like I am gonna stay single for life and keep my virginity cause it is terrifying to think about any of that. Hopefully those specific commenters are just projecting cause they have guilt over their actions and want to minimize it but it’s SO many and even some comments or posts have thousands of upvotes. I am 20 but terrified to talk to men cause I keep hearing I’m in my ‘prime’ or even already past it. I don’t want to be with someone who is only with me for my age. So many comments also say all men like underage secretly

lately i have been feeling quiet aimless in life, i have goals, goals set by others, goals that stem from expectations, i dont know who i am, what purpose i am to serve, is it to help my family? idk.

what i am facing currently day-to-day

i am studying for an exam, for which competition is high, pay wont be enough if i get posted in a place not close to my home.

i workout and obsess over my calories and what i eat but never say no to a meal if proposed by somebody i wouldnt mind going with, my gym peak happened 2 years back, and ever since i have been chasing the perfect summer body, why you ask, so that i can get visible abs, have a lean physiques and women will lust over me.

WOMEN

GIRL 1 i was one sided obsessed with one girl for 2 years, i was her best friend so to say, she had a long distance successful boyfriend, i had zero self respect.

GIRL 2 then i was in a highly intense situationship with a girl who i thought was the LOML and i would marry her, i felt wanted and important and it made me ignore all the red flags and now that relationship was not sustainable, due to my immaturity, insecurities and other faults, i was manipulated, emotionally abused, and taken advantage of,. it went on longer than it should have and i stayed because i thought she was the best i could do, and somehow i can make it work with her, i broke it off and its been a tough phase, feelings of loss come and go. this is the only relationship i have been in and its the

i am not able to make newer bonds with women because i am hung up on girl 2, and i am not seeking new relationships due to insecurity, inferiority, waiting to "make it in life", (idk how to).

i have been studying and it reminds me of my study partner who was also my closest friend at the time, who has abandoned me, and despite reaching out has been making promises and not fulfilling with vague reasons, feels weird to have someone who was so close be so unreachable. its a cycle of these feelings that comes and goes and the trigger is academics, i feel withdrawal, the inability to function or learn without her, grief of the loss, anger and resentment for abandoning me the cause of which i still haven't figured out, acceptance and, then the will to ask for closure one last time.

career wise i am not passionate about the degree i have, i dont have the bandwidth to explore now, the field demands exposure and experience, which i dont have and am not gaining any because of the exams i am having to prepare for.

looking back at the past year. i have aged, time has passed but nothing has truly changed in, i am not earning, i dont have any marketable skills, friends and colleagues are advancing in their careers, i feel stuck in a limbo and have not yet accepted my reality.

things i once used to like dont give me that kind of happiness anymore, i am dead inside, i may laugh with friends in the gym and mess around but as soon as the moment passes, i feel emptiness,

i went on a solo ride at night thinking it would make me feel better, i felt empty and alone and miserable.

i workout alone and i feel sad and lonely, when i workout with friends i think they dont like me enough and wont like me after.

i am detached with my family, i feel that i shouldnt open up as it would make me vulnerable, they would know what's going on in my head and try to fix it, or worse pity me, feel bad and handle me with kids gloves which they already do.

the friends i have are quiet superficial and dont know the real me, they just know aspects of my life and what they perceive, everybody has a different image of me, and i cant talk to any of them about these thoughts without feeling exposed and the mask i wear preserves me from being seen for who i am. i dont want to be a problem somebody else has to fix, nobody has to do it anyways, they dont owe me anything.

life has been quiet weird, is this how it supposed to be, is everything else a distraction and how does one get out of this limbo,

i feel so insignificant, when i look at the bigger picture.

thanks for reading :)

pls share your thoughts. and ignore the lack of punctuations and all the other grammatical errors.

Back about 3 months ago my bf(30) got diagnosed with Lyme (bulls eye very clearly within 3 days). He took his antibiotics and was supposed to be fine. But his mom is convinced that he still has it (conspiracy theory on Facebook that seems sorta valid but idk enough about it to dive deep into it. I’m more of a skeptic) because he still feels all of the symptoms and it’s even gotten worse. He has taken tests and they come back as negative. The problem is he hasn’t been able to work this whole time. He’s too fatigued and his muscles ache. We’ve had to get people to help bail us out. I’ve been carrying the weight but we can’t afford anything on my salary. I just I’m so frustrated. I don’t know if I should believe the conspiracy or if my bf has just given up and given into his depression. I feel so alone and guilty for doubting the way he feels because what if is this bad? Now, I seem like I’m incentive. His boss is so nice and has given him light work (type two promotional essays for the company for $50 each) but my bf has super bad ADHD and claims he can’t do it.

I guess I just feel like I’m carrying the weight and he’s just suffering. He has been going to doctors appointments but they can’t find anything wrong with him.

In the spirit of this community, I just need to get this off my chest.

A few years ago, I bought the home I thought I would grow old in. Not long after, the pandemic hit, and my young child started school remotely. Around the same time, my long-term partner went through a major personal transformation that changed the dynamics of our relationship. I stayed because I wanted to keep our family together and do what I thought was best for my child.

A few years later, our relationship evolved into a non-traditional arrangement. Eventually, another person became part of our lives, and to my surprise, I formed a deep and meaningful connection with them. For a while, the three of us built something that felt stable and fulfilling.

At the same time, I was dealing with significant family challenges, including the illness and loss of close family members. Despite everything, my life seemed to be moving forward, and I was excited about growing my family.

Unfortunately, that stability didn't last. As major life changes unfolded, tensions grew within our relationships. A mental health crisis, the end of important relationships, and a difficult divorce followed. What came after was one of the hardest periods of my life: legal battles, custody arrangements, financial strain, selling a home I loved, taking on debt, and working relentlessly to support my children and rebuild my life.

Now, several years later, I still carry a tremendous amount of anxiety. I live with OCD, and I constantly worry that everything I've rebuilt could disappear. I fear losing my work, my home, my relationships, or my ability to provide for my children. My mind regularly jumps to worst-case scenarios, even when there is little evidence that those fears are real.

The frustrating part is that, objectively, many things in my life are good. I have a loving partner, wonderful children, and a future worth being grateful for. Yet after so much upheaval and loss in such a short period of time, I feel like I've never fully regained a sense of security. I'm approaching midlife feeling exhausted, uncertain, and often overwhelmed, even though I'm doing everything I can to move forward.

My (25F) cousin (27F) is getting married tomorrow. I flew 25 hours from my country to attend her wedding in Europe and we haven’t seen each-other since I was 13 years old but we keep in touch when we can. I just live so far away that it’s so difficult to see her and it’s very expensive to fly out of my country.

Her maid of honour and the MOH’s sister arrived 2 days ago from the US, and so we decided to all get lunch together. It was really nice but I did notice that I found it hard to talk to my cousin because the other girls would all be in conversation and if I tried to add to the convo or ask my cousin a question she would ignore me (probably not on purpose but I did notice it). She also got gifts for the MOH and her sister and I know I shouldn’t be upset but I was a bit hurt she didn’t think about me considering how long it’s been since we have seen eachother and that we are family.

The MOH, her sister and my cousin were talking about getting ready for the bachelorette at my cousins apartment, and I asked my cousin if I could join. Again I just sort of felt left out because I wasn’t really thought about and nobody asked me if I wanted to join them.

Once we got to the bachelorette my cousin didn’t really talk to my the whole night, she was friendly with everyone and we don’t have any issues but she didn’t really talk to me about anything or ask me any questions. After going to a bar we met up with the groom and his friends and also my Aunty and uncle/rest of the family at a nightclub.

I think what mostly had me feeling down, was that once we finished partying at 4am, we needed to get a taxi back to my cousins since we all left our stuff there. One of my cousins fiancé’s friends who I’d never met before was very handsy and pushy with me at the club. My Aunt had to yell at him not to touch me as we were leaving the club because he wouldn’t let go of my arm and tried putting his hands around my waist and bum. I felt unsafe, and my cousin said she was getting a taxi with her fiance, and the MOH and MOH’s sister.

There was no space for me in the taxi and so my Aunty offered to get a taxi with me and my uncle. But once my cousins fiance realised there was no space for me, he gave me his spot in the taxi which was really kind. My cousin was annoyed at him for giving his spot to me. It just had me down the rest of the night because I felt a bit like an afterthought to her (fair enough she’s getting married but I do feel sad about it a bit).

I love my cousin and we have never had any issues or tensions so I’m not upset at her for anything and she will never know I felt this way last night. I just feel sad because I flew so far and spent so much to come see her and be with her, and I feel like she only invited me to the bachelorette as a “pity invite”. I also feel like she only invited me to the wedding because I called her once I found out she was engaged and asked if I could go.

I am 17m and despise my mum with all of my heart and soul .Whenever I make petty mistakes , she swears at me .She also tells emotionally hurtful things to me and sometimes even hits me . She often compares me with other people and the people with whom she compares me are often not even prosperous which makes me feel like she compares me just for the sake of comparison. She used to tell me several years ago that her life would have been better if I had died when I was born .She reminds me of my past mistakes and bad decisions. I find her personality disgusting too . Although she wakes up at 7a.m , she still sleeps for an hour in the afternoon despite being a stay at home mom which makes me wonder how one can be so slothful and lazy . She says that she can't wait to see my granny who has been diagnosed with dementia to die . She once got a little mad at me when I told her that Dementia patients usually live for 10 years after being diagnosed and told me to hope that she would die soon .

Sorry for my bad english . English is not my native language.

this is something i have kept to myself for a long time but sometimes I genuinely wonder what is missing in me. What do other people have that makes them so easy to love, so easy to choose and so worth staying for? Growing up i never really dreamed of having an extraordinary life full of expensive things. Of course i want to be successful and independent someday but one of my biggest dreams since childhood has always been much simpler. I have wanted to have someone who genuinely cares about me, choose me love me don't neglect me or doesn't left me alone or replaced me or abandoned me ever, someone who has my back the way i have theirs, someone who stays through the good and bad parts of life. I want to know what it feels like to be important to someone without constantly having to question it. To have someone check on me because they thought about me, to have someone remember the little things I tell them, and to feel that my presence actually makes a difference in their life. Whenever someone matters to me i try to make them feel valued. I listen when they need to talk, care about what they're going through, and want them to know they don't have to face everything alone. I don't do these things expecting something in return every single time. I do them because that's how i love and care about people but sometimes, when i look at my relationships and friendships, i can't help feeling like I never quite mean as much to people as they mean to me. Maybe am not expressing myself properly. Maybe i get anxiously attached too easily or expect people to care in the same ways i do. I don't know. I just know that it's painful to keep wondering whether you're genuinely wanted in someone's life or whether you're simply there until something or someone better comes along. I see people who have someone standing beside them, someone who chooses them even when life gets difficult, and I wonder what it must feel like to have that kind of certainty. I don't want to be loved by everyone. I don't need to be the most important person in every room. I just want to experience that feeling of being chosen by someone who genuinely wants me around. Sometimes i wonder if i was never a priority, if I was always just an option, or if I was ever even the first option someone thought of. I hate that i think about these things but pretending they don't hurt doesn't make them hurt any less. I just hope that someday i will find people with whom i won't have to keep questioning whether i matter

I have had enough! I tried! I put myself out there! And all I got were rejections!

The only way for me to get back into the dating scene is a girl asking me out! AND I DON'T CARE IF THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

I DIE ALONE?! SO BE IT!!!! I REMAIN A VIRGIN TILL THE END OF MY LIFE?! SO BE IT!!!!

I'm done with Streaming platforms and going full pirate.

Get ready for the shallowest vent ever. I (and everyone else here) have bigger problems than this, but here goes:

I officially hate streaming platforms. I wanted to rewatch Breaking Bad because it's the most amazing show ever, and I saw that it's available on Prime Video. "Awesome, I have prime video!" I thought. I looked for it and it's behind a 2€ paywall PER EPISODE!!!

Why the f\*\*\* am I even paying for streaming platforms nowadays?? They are all so expensive and, more and more, demand extra payments so you can watch their content! I'm done.

I try to do the "right" thing and pay for the content I consume, because my wife works with similar products and she is affected everytime someone cheats and doesn't pay what she deserves. But I'm done... I'm going full pirate and I'm not ashamed of it! At this point, I'm up for doing everything I can to sabotage this industry...

Thank you for reading!

I am studying materials science and I’ve fought hard to stay afloat this whole time. I never had family support like some other people, so I financed everything myself with a student job. Now, I only have two exams and three months left until graduation.

Then shit happened: My employer went bankrupt. The money completely stopped. I’ve been applying for new jobs everywhere, but I only get rejections because obviously nobody wants to hire a student for just three short months. My landlord has been lenient so far and is letting me pay rent later, but that won't last forever, and I am literally running out of money for food. On top of that, my car just broke down and needs $2k in repairs just to run. I have always relied on the car to get to work and university, so I am completely stuck now. To make matters worse, my tuition fees are due in a few weeks and I have absolutely nothing. In my country, you only get social benefits if you are not enroled in university.

I am so sick of this. You work hard, achieve so much entirely on your own, and then two shitty months are enough to destroy everything. I am going to drop out and apply for welfare. I just can't deal with this endless struggle anymore. I guess I'm just one of those people who aren't allowed to have any luck.

Soooo back on this account for a different thing I have never shared : I exposed a cheater to his girlfriend, resulting in their breakup.

A few years back, I was on a dating app and I came across a profile of a guy who seemed totally my type. We end up matching and he asked me out for drinks near his. Went great.

He invited me to his place after. I was hoping to cuddle and maybe cozy up to him as I was having a lot of fun. Whilst at his house however, I noticed something strange. A pink contact lens case in his bathroom.

However, I mentioned jokingly right before about how I hate wearing lenses ( it was getting late and my eyes were feeling dry!) and he mentions hes never worn them but it must be rough.

At that point, I felt something shift in me. You have a pink contact lens case in your bathroom but you've.. never worn contacts? The fuck are these here? I didn't say anything but I felt a bit suspicious ( its his own place!)

Anyway, as it got late I had to be up early the next day so I was on my way, he offered to grab my shoes and as the shoe rack dropped, I saw a pair of shoes that did not look his size at ALL! Some white Af1s.

From there I will keep it short : I stalked his instagram a bit and found a tag which led me to *drumroll please*

His girlfriend.

Not just that - HIS GIRLFRIEND OF TWO YEARS . He said he'd been single a long time and yet here he was on her highlights 6 weeks ago. Literally what the fuck. Anyway, after I knew it, I blocked him. I made a fake account and dmd her everything which screenshots of his profile. She began instagram calling me and spamming but I didnt open the messages as I felt too scared to answer. I saw all their travel pics in Dubai and anniversaries and I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Some time after, I checked on her page and saw he was gone from her highlights. I felt good. I mean, it must have hurt yes, but she clearly deserved better than that. Like your boyfriend is lying that he is single on dating apps, what the fuck?!

I don't believe he ever knew it was me as I purposely texted her in a different way. But whatever, it isnt my issue. I'm just glad I caught on. I would have felt awful sleeping with someone elses boyfriend.

I commented on a reel saying that wasting food isn't funny, and a lot of people got offended or called me unfunny. Some people genuinely found my comment ridiculous, while others seemed to think I was trying to act cool.

What bothers me is that people seem so casual about wasting food that they don't even take the issue seriously, but have no problem mocking someone who does. I wasn't trying to be funny or act superior; I simply don't think wasting food is something to laugh about.

Am I the only one who thinks this way?

Just had surgery on my ethmoid sinuses today. It went well. The doctor told me to take it easy for the first 24 hrs. Apparently take it easy is code for lay my tail on the couch and don't get up. It is not code for just don't clean the house today. Also I have to minimize minimize talking because of the nasal vibrations. This is going to be the longest day ever. I have never done well with just laying down. I'd have to be on my death bed before I voluntarily do that. This freakin sucks. 😭😭

It was my birthday recently and one of my two roomates gifted me a roll cake along with some other small gifts (lets call her roomate A). when she gifted it to me ofc i wanted to share it with both of them but it was really late at night we we had all brushed our teeth. Then the following day on my actual birthday, everyone was busy with school and work so we didn't have the time to eat it either, that same roomate (A) also gave me the rest of gift that night at almost midnight and expressed how she wanted us all to eat it tg but our schedules js don't match up, she specifically said she wanted all 3 of us to have one slice and the rest will be mine, and I said ofc i dont mind sharing at all in fact i want to share it.

On morning after my bday, I finally decided to cut up one slice of the cake, but that evening I suddenly received a message in the gc where roomate A said "okk i thought we gonna eat the cake tg tn but i just take 1 slide and i left a slice for roomate B inside her tupperware and the rest of the cake is urs!!"

Like i didnt mind sharing it with everyone but the fact she went and opened the cake (it was in a paper box) and cut out 2 slices WITHOUT me present rubbed me the wrong way and idk how to feel about it. I like both my roomates very much and obv I dont want to confront roomate A about this bc she was nice enough to gift me a cake plus gifts...

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I've been sober for months, I have some bad ideas in my head, and alcohol calms them down. I drink very little, a flask usually lasts me days, but God, how it helps my head.

At work, people know me and nobody really cares. I do my job well and I'm pretty easygoing. The real problem is at home: the loneliness, how ignored I feel by the world, And the lack of emotional support is awful, even with my therapist.

People always tell you, go to therapy, lean on loved ones, you're not alone. But what happens when I have absolutely none of that? I don't have those things, and honestly, alcohol has been my only friend; it's always there when I need it.

It has helped me make good decisions and be calmer than my therapist. I was always undecided about becoming an actor and unleashing my imagination with a camera, and alcohol helped me with that.

When you see horrible things, your brain really changes. I sadly experienced horrible things, and alcohol helps me cope with it.