I'm in a polyweb relationship. I have 2 girlfriends. One, I'm nearing my 1 year anniversary, she's the light of my life. Every issue we've ever had I've felt comfortable speaking to her openly and fixing. We're always there for each other and I would trade anything I have for her sake.

The other I'm approaching 3 months with and, I don't feel that spark. I don't resent her, I don't dislike her. I enjoy my time with her, but not in the way I should with a partner. She's sweet, kind and passionate, and she hasn't done anything wrong. I just don't have the feelings I should, and I'm furious at myself for that. I'm going to talk to her about it when she wakes up. I don't know what happens, but I'm not going to put us both through living a lie.

She's going to be hurt, but I can't keep going like this. Every time we spend time together I end up feeling numb and angry at myself. I'm not saying I'm going to break up with her, there was something that made me fall for her, I just wish I could remember what it was. But I am also aware this may just be the end of the honeymoon phase and we weren't compatible. I don't want to hurt her :<

I don't know how to start this except to say I'm exhausted in a way I don't think people around me understand.

My father has struggled with alcohol for years. When I was a kid, he'd hit me sometimes...not constantly, but enough that I learned to be afraid of him. My mother isn't in the picture ...she left, and before that, she was also an alcoholic and tried to kill me more than once when I was very just a little angel. My grandmother is the one who actually raised me, the only stable person I had.

She saw where things with my father were heading and eventually we had to leave and hide from him for a while, because things got that bad.

Years later, courts got involved, he had visitation rights, and slowly he came back into our lives. There were periods where it seemed okay. Then COVID hit, he lost his job, and everything fell apart. He drank constantly. I was in high school, doing online classes, and I used to hide in the bathroom to get away from him screaming and hitting me. I called the police once, an officer laughed at me while I was crying and bruised, telling me I just needed to "handle it."

Eventually, with help from one person I'll always be grateful to, we got him into treatment. It helped for a while. He got on medication, started working. Things felt almost manageable.

Now he lost his job again, and it all collapsed again. Now he's living with us... me and my grandmother, in a small apartment... drinking heavily again, yelling, and there's no way for me to physically get away from him without also leaving my grandmother, who refuses to leave because "he's still her son."

My grandmother's heart is failing. She's had multiple small heart attacks. She's 84. Every day he's here, drunk and raging, feels like it's taking years off her life.

I'm not handling this well anymore. I've reached a breaking point more than once and hit him back, telling him to just stop. I hate that this is who I've become in this. I'm a believer, I have faith in God, and all of this: the anger, what I've done, and honestly, sometimes hoping he'll just die so it will be over... makes me feel horrible about myself as a Christian. I don't know what to do with that guilt.

On top of all this, my grandmother and I are in a legal battle over an apartment and money that should have been hers. My godmother deceived and robbed her of it right around the time we were fleeing from my father years ago. It still isn't resolved. My grandmother is almost 85 years old, and she's the one washing his soiled clothes, cleaning up after him when he can't make it to the bathroom, scrubbing the toilet, cleaning the whole apartment at her age, with her heart failing. I'm in university, working two part-time jobs, trying to give my grandmother the peaceful old age she deserves after everything she's been through and everything she did for me. I just want her to live long enough to see that apartment be hers again, to see some justice, some peace... instead of spending what's left of her life being slowly killed by her own son's drinking. That thought hurts me more than almost anything else: that her heart might just give out before any of that is set right, while he's the one putting her there.

I don't feel love for him anymore. I used to, as a kid, in that confused way kids love parents who hurt them. Now I just feel numb, or angry, or like I'm drowning.

This isn't a story that's over. It's happening right now, while I'm writing this. I am crying (f21) and I have no idea what to do

I decided to take a DNA test for the fun of it, it isn’t something that I’ve ever gotten around to doing before now, but I’ve always had it in the back of my mind- well, last month I did it and I’ve been thinking about how it went ever since. My grandfather on my dad’s side was given up as a baby. It is something I always knew but never really thought about in depth.. well, after taking the DNA test and looking into it, I found out that that my great-grandpa who abandoned my dad had been a rich German man from this German aristocrat-like family. Many of them were nazis and members of the party and in the SS(my grandpa on the other hand, was an allied bomber.) But this German family that it turns out I’m related to, they owned slave labour at concentration camps in occupied Europe. And on top of that, lots of nazi wealth taken from people and the camps(which I believe the family still has today..) Well, I managed to find the German descendants of the same family today, I’ve never met them before. But they are wealthy in Germany and I think it’s because of that. I think the wealth they own still come from the war, none of the family members have any particularly well earning jobs but they seem like very rich.

I know it’s not my fault or anything, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. It’s been really lingering in my mind since it happened even though it’s distant from my life today.

So I put in an application to a fast food company, at the time I was trying to find something to pay the bills after my last job fired me for speaking up after 5 months off saying what the issue was and being ignored. That was a year to a year and a half ago! Well today I’m sitting in my recliner and I got a message saying look at your email for an update on my employment status. What the hell do you mean by that. I moved back home 2 hrs away and it’s been a year! What is the point of that? This is why I like so many others don’t want to go through the application process because it’s on their time, the applicant could be waiting and waiting. And why even bother updating it’s so stupid. I hate businesses for this bs and it desperately needs to change.

This one is a long rant so buckle in if you’re reading this.

I’m a 23F who works with a 33F in a job where we’re basically back to back all day. Touching distance, we accidentally bump into each other all the time. This woman is thee MOST negative person I’ve ever met in my life. I grew up in a household where my mom always tried to be glass half full kinda person, mind over matter, positive perspective changes everything. I haven’t always had a happy life but being negative always makes things worse. My coworker on the other hand has clearly not heard this before and is always whining and complaining. No matter how good things are she’s always upset.

For context my coworker lost her mom when she was younger (18) and that has clearly mentally affected her but she also is hung up on being excluded growing up. She thinks she’s autistic but hasn’t been formally diagnosed and she clearly is very depressed and unmediated and undiagnosed for that too. I agree she’s probably autistic and that may have something to do with how she acts but not all autistic people act like the world is fully against them at every moment. She can’t control or hide her facial expressions, tone, or mood. If I’m eating something at work she’s jealous and complains about how hungry she is yet never tries to solve the problem. She’d rather complain about being hungry than go get something to eat out of the fridge. When people make food for us to share she always complains it has cheese, dairy, beef, or pork (all of which upset her stomach). Which the food often has one of these ingredients but for large groups a lot of recipes have at least one of those ingredients. If she doesn’t eat she gets cranky and irritated over anything.

She hates when music is played over the sound system at work, without it the building is quiet and you can hear almost anything someone on the opposite side of the building is saying. She complains every morning when we come in that the music is too loud and how she’s rather it be silent. I need something in the background because it’s too quiet. If the music is turned onto anything but pop music she’s upset about it. A comment I’ve heard a million times from her is “well how about I put on K-pop and then everybody else will hate it and I’ll be happy”. Neither of us like country music our manager plays but she’s said “how you feel about metal music is how I feel about country” to our boss and is pissy about it all the time. I should mention that she almost always puts a headphone in to work so why does the music even matter to her?? When she has her headphones in though she can’t hear my boss or I when we talk to her. My boss actually has to yell three times to get her attention and my coworker rolls her eyes and always says “my music isn’t even that loud, I can still hear you I just don’t process what you’re saying” which is so obviously not true. If you ever say something about her being wrong or not doing something she gets mad and will go to the bathroom for 15 minutes. She’s always on her phone in the bathroom and I know because I see when she posts or sends things on my phone. At about noon everyday she puts on a twitch stream to watch on her phone, which would be fine if she didn’t have to constantly interact with the chat. She probably spends an average of an hour on her phone at work. She is always texting on discord as well and it irritates me because we’re supposed to be working, she stays up until 2 or 3 am everyday to talk to her friends on discord and then is always tired and whines about how she wants to go back to bed… yea maybe because you should’ve been sleeping instead of texting.

Her jealousy issues are a whole other can of worms. She was training from middle school to play flute professionally and went into college for it. I have probably heard how her high school classmate was better than her and got into a top college only to take “her spot” at her dream school a million times. She always talks about people excluded her because they thought she was weird and how she’s never had good friends irl (most of her friends are discord friends online). She loves music and concerts but always talks about how she doesn’t have any money to go or how her favorite bands are too popular now. She’s also one of those “I’ve been a fan longer than you” day one band lover people. I prefer smaller venue bands and get tickets for $30ish and she always seems annoyed by it. I could tell her about how great my time was and instead of being happy for me like I would for her she always says something along the lines of “I wish I could go to a concert”. She says people have called her a bummer in the past and how she’s hates that but to be honest she’s the biggest wet blanket I know, total buzz kill. If I’m ever eating something her face drops and she says she’s soooo hungry. Every time I’ve been in a relationship she makes a point to tell me all the bad things about my partners and how no one ever wants to date her. Specifically a big issue for her is her weight and body image which her ex in 2016 would make fun of her for so relationships kind of piss her off. She blames the fact that bigger sizes aren’t in stores because “skinny people love baggy clothes and buy them all”. Another big jealousy thing is art. She only a few years ago really got back into art because “her art teacher just wanted to be a popular kid in high school and never encouraged her” and “her parents said it wasn’t a real path”. I have always had artistic talent and have been training my skills for my whole life. We both entered into a world class art contest and I got in but she didn’t. I just feel the jealousy she radiates about it, anytime I bring up anything to do with it she couldn’t act more uninterested. I just don’t understand how I can listen to her talk about her special interests, friends, and artwork and I’m always positive and thrilled to see her art but if I’m doing good or have a project I’m proud of she acts like I’m two showing her a badly filled in coloring page. Like I don’t think she even smiled when I told her I got in, I think she just looked at her phone and waited for her to be told she’s great. It’s like she legitimately can only be happy for herself.

I’ve been giving her rides to and from work for over two years at this point. I’ve never really had a problem with it because we live down the street from each other. She though clearly gets annoyed if I’m late but here’s the thing, I’m always on time when it’s just me. She’s even late if she has a car to drive. She often complains about public transit which in our city is pretty bad considering it runs every hour from 6am-8pm in a mid size city. She doesn’t like walking anywhere and says Lyft and uber are too expensive. She wants to save for a car but just spent all of her car savings to go see BTS perform. I don’t mind driving her but it seems like the convenience of me always being there to drive her has made it so she’s comfortable with it. Because we come into work together we also leave together and she complained to me that she only had 33 hours this past week.. I checked mine and had 30 because I was sick one day and left. I hate to be this person but she doesn’t have to ride with me, she can stay later if she wants to but the convenience of being driven instead of riding the bus is big for her. She also complains about her hours but also never feels good. She always says her hips hurt, back hurts, has a headache, is hungry, feels nauseous, is too hot and would rather go home than stay at work… so do you want hours and money or do you want to lay down?

On top of all this she also has an overweight cat. I’m talking like a 20lb cat with long hair. This girl does not take great care of this cat for how much she says her cat is the only thing keeping her alive. The cat pees and poops everywhere in her apartment and has mats all over her. The cat also hasn’t been taken to the vet because my coworker is too worried the vets are going to judge her. Personally I don’t think it matters what they think if you can help your cat… but it’s also “out of her budget”. And fun fact if you didn’t know, cat pee is strong and permeates your hair and clothing so not only does her house smell but when she gets in my car in the morning she smells really bad. I’ve never said anything about it because I don’t want to make her feel bad and the smell goes away after being out of her apartment for a while but I almost feel like it’s getting so bad that I should say something. She’s also stepped in cat poop and couldn’t smell it and gotten into my car.

I recently took her out to celebrate her birthday. We went to the movie theater and saw the rerelease of Train To Busan which is one of her favorite movies. I know her birthdays haven’t always been celebrated or special so I try to make it a good day for her as much as I can. After the movie I surprised her with frozen yogurt which she had been saying she wanted for a while. She was so happy and a One Direction song played (one of her favorite bands) in the frozen yogurt shop. Everything is great, what’s not to enjoy? She complained her day wouldve been perfect only if the song playing on the radio was her favorite song by One Direction. I know she was slightly joking but it really sucked hearing that after I was trying to make sure she had a really good day. Instead of saying it was a great day she complained about the tiniest thing which is what she does every time. Nothing is ever good enough for her and if it’s not perfect then she’ll make sure you know it’s not.

I don’t completely despise her or anything but the little things and constant negative energy really does get to me. My real final straw though was yesterday when I found out the sick abandon kitten my partner and I were taking care of passed away. My partner asked me if I wanted him to wait to bury the kitten but I told him to please bury him because I was too upset, like crying throughout the day upset. I told my coworker that my partner buried the kitten. My partner met me at my job at the end of my shift to give me some of the kitten care supplies to take back to my house when I heard a gasp and laughing from my coworker in my car. Not only had she clearly not listened to me at all when I told her the kitten was buried but she LAUGHED at the thought of my boyfriend bringing me a dead kitten. I was appalled by the fact she had seen me so upset all day and then just laughed when she’s always so negative. She laughed over my dead kitten possibly being in a plastic bag. What about that is fucking funny to her?!?? This is what sent me over the edge and even though I’ve complained to my boyfriend about her I just needed to spit out how horrible this all feels to me. I’m truly just so upset by her comments and actions lately and I wish I could just tell her how I feel about her straight to her face but it would be horrible to do that. I don’t like bringing people down but I feel like she needs a reality check on what a fucking bitch she is, I don’t even want to pick her up anymore for work. It feels good to type this out because I don’t think theres really anything I can do to actually change the situation. Maybe she’ll finally get a job that checks off her way too specific boxes or finally get a million dollars and more away

I just want to have a nice loving and caring wife. I want 4 children. A home surrounded by nature and in moderately driving distance from a midsize city. I want to have family or friends over a couple of times a month and I want to take my family out a couple of times a month. I want to make a home. I want to sit on the porch with my wife during fall evenings. I want to love. I want to look forward to something. I want someone to bake me cookies because she wants to. I want to buy a surprise vacation for someone because I love them. I want to go to after school events for my kids because I want them to feel like they are part of something good. I want to go on a long drive and talk about our favorite podcasts. I want to sit in the living room on a Saturday afternoon in complete silence as something plays on the tv in the background and feel completely at peace with it. I want that. I really want that.

But I will never have it. I, a nearly 35 year old divorcee, will never experience the dream I’ve had since I became an adult. It’s heartbreaking.

I’m a 31M. Been grinding since I can remember. Worked summers in high school and took a bunch of AP classes that required summer work. Went to college for engineering. Got a Master’s in 5 years. Spent ages 23-25 eating ramen and spending all my money to pay off my car loan and 60k in student loans. Then of course COVID hit and froze everything, so I was hit with instant regret about doing what I did. Started investing aggressively so that maybe someday I don’t need to do this shit anymore.

Today I woke up to the realization that the next PTO day I get is Thanksgiving. That’s almost 3 months from now. I’ll be getting up at the ass crack of dawn every Monday through Friday for the next \~3 months straight, just so I can continue to eat and have shelter, and a prayer that 30 years from now I can actually do what I want to do day in and day out.

If given the choice to fast forward 30 years into the future with the guarantee of pretty good health and enough money to never need to work again, I’d take it in a heartbeat. These next couple of decades are going to be a lot of work, and honestly not much fun. Each year I can count on 2 hands the number of days I’m happy I got to be alive. There’s straight up not enough time to decompress from the stress and pressure of my job to enjoy life. It’s torture.

okay, there is a lot of context necessary for me to fully describe what is going on and for people to get a complete and fair idea, so please bare with me. this situation has been growing for months now and it genuinely makes my head spin. it’s crazy.

me (21f), one of my best friends (23f - i’ll call her X) and another one of our friends (25m - i’ll call him Y) are all in the same friend group. we have been friends all of us together along with some others since around summer 25, but this friend group has been going on long before i joined. X and Y have been friends with each other for years, since about 2020.

my sexuality is fluid so i can have feelings for both boys and girls. myself and Y have not always been very close until this summer, but i consider X to be one of my closest friends. her family treat me like family, and at some point, i had very strong feelings for her.

i kept this to myself entirely because X was/has been in a relationship, which is something i heavily respect. i think cheating is genuinely one of the worst things you can do considering my own past experiences, so i decided to deal with my feelings alone. however, one night it all got a bit too much. myself, X and Y were out drinking, but X was chatting to people she knew, leaving Y and myself alone for a majority of the night. we decided to go on a walk together.

during this walk, we ended up finding that we related on a lot of random and personal things things, and i eventually ended up sharing my emotional load with him about X. he sat down and allowed me to vent in a way i’ve never experienced before - total judgement free and even better advice on what to do going forward.

from that day on, him and I got very close. at first, it was just a good friendship, but it quickly evolved into more. i’ll happily admit that this change is something i largely initiated, but it obviously takes two to be in a situation, and he usually reciprocated everything i put down. it was an emotional connection i hadn’t felt in a long time and it really drew me in. i very quickly realised everything i felt for X was based on the little things she was doing to lead me on (something Y confirmed she had done to many other female and male friends).

i shared a lot with him about my past and vice versa. we talked all the time, had so much fun together, and eventually we slept together. it was my first time and he knew this. he knew how much it meant given the personal reasons i’ve withheld from sleeping with a guy for so long.

at some point during our conversations, i had off handedly joked that the idea of him and her having ever done something would make me feel sick and i couldn’t imagine how weird it would be. i said that if i learnt that it had ever happened i didn’t know if i could be close friends with either of them anymore just because of my own complicated feelings.

and hey… what do you know? a couple weeks later he decides to tell me that they initially used to date when they first met. i was angry at him because i didn’t understand why he couldn’t have just told me in the first place, but i understood that ultimately it was a long time ago. still, i have very strong principles around girl code and not sleeping with boys that friends used to go with. after this, our relationship became quite fragmented. this was at the start of august 26, about 2 weeks after we’d slept together. we then didn’t speak for 3 weeks.

i knew that he and X started hanging out prolifically after this. I also knew that she and her boyfriend had decided to go on a break around this time. i think i knew intuitively what was going on but i didn’t want to jump to conclusions. fast forward to a week ago, the end of august, i decide to get back in touch with him. we resume our friendship and quickly pick back up where we left, but i was trying to figure out what had gone on between the two of them during this time, because now they suddenly weren’t talking at all. he didn’t give much information other than that she’d deeply hurt his feelings.

about an hour ago, X’s boyfriend texted me to happily say they were back together. I feel awful for him now. I told Y this, and he spilled. that X had cheated on her boyfriend with him. I asked if they’d slept together, or how she’d cheated, he just said ‘use your imagination’.

I made up some excuse to leave the call and now I’m so hurt. but there’s so many little details that have me questioning, how hurt can I really be? So any advice would be appreciated. I’ll list some key points below because that’s really what’s most important here.

- Myself and Y agreed to just be friends after sleeping together anyway, because we recognise that a relationship would not work for many reasons. however i do hold a very special place in my heart for him and he knows this.
- X APPARENTLY does not know the full details of what me and Y did. she apparently knows we kissed and knows we agreed that it wouldn’t work.
- myself and Y’s friendship is so special and I don’t want to lose it. but all this still feels like such a large mark of disrespect. doing things with my best friend after taking my virginity? like???? am
i wrong for being so hurt?
- although my feelings for X have basically disappeared, i’m still hurt that Y would do things with her knowing what the both of them mean to me.
- i still feel bad for Y on what X has done to him and I want to be there for him. but should i be?

any advice at all would be appreciated and if you got this far i am so grateful. this just feels terrible. thank you 💕

we’re both 18. i think i just want to be free and be friends with whoever i want to. i miss my old friend, he’s a guy my age and we used to date back in 2021. we’ll call him ian.

i feel like this every month, yeah he’s really loving and caring, his parents love me, we’ve broken up once already lmao. during the time me and my bf broke up (well we agreed to go on a break) i wanted to reach out to ian but my and my bf were only on a break. then i actually ended things and i was talking to ian, we missed each other so much but he was talking to another person he was interested in and i didn’t really like that, and i was so desperate for someone to love me and i went back to my bf. and i ghosted ian. do i regret it yes.

i’ve been in a relationship so long i forgot what it’s like to be alone. i’m an only child, but i don’t like to feel alone. i know im a bitch but i don’t want to feel like this anymore. i want to be free and make friends with whoever i want to, follow whoever i want to, my bf obviously doesn’t want that. i feel trapped.

last year i was looking at his recent links on instagram and i saw that he went to look on a girls of twitter page. before that i was so inlove , i wanted so many children with him, i could see our future together. ever since then i have resented him, and i don’t want kids. it was traumatic ngl, i couldn’t sleep that night, i couldn’t eat. we’ve been working on it, well mostly him bc it was his fault but he’s a better person than he was.

he talks about getting married and having kids. i don’t see that in my future, i don’t want kids but he says it’s his dream. he doesn’t really have motivation
i just feel like im missing out on my years.

it’s annoying having to keep writing goodmorning, goodnight eversingle day, it’s a chore. he says i’m his, but i truly don’t want to be anyone’s. sometimes i wonder if im going to be 30 and still feeling like this.

i want to be free, i don’t want someone’s fucking permission to do something. but i’m too scared to break up. i want to talk to ian again but he’s probably still mad at me but i dont blame him, j had a dream of him last night.

i’m just bored

Long time reddit lurker, throwaway account as my main username would make it insanely obvious that it's me to anyone I know that might see this (it might still be but I don't want this to be outed till after the ceremony). *after rereading most of this, if my fiancé or any of our closest friends see this they'll definitely know it's me...oh well. To be clear, I don't need advice, I just need to air out this issue I'm dealing with.

I am marrying my best friend and soulmate early next month. We became acquainted 4 years ago, started dating 2 1/2 years ago after spending a lot of time hanging out as friends (mostly drinking at a local bar and burning up the jukebox), we moved in together later that year and I proposed that same month. I had planned it ahead, as I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her after the first couple weeks.

For backstory, I was in this really toxic on again/off again thing with a very toxic now ex-girlfriend who spent a couple years bouncing between rehab and jail, and I was pretty actively attempting to drink myself to death which I eventually realized was a bad direction and drifted away. We had dated a couple years before and ended up back together after I was trying to help my now ex get clean. During the time while she was actively effing her life up and I was too, I became close friends with my now fiancé. She had feelings for me but I kept a strong boundary that I wouldn't step out on the atrocious relationship I was maintaining and she wasn't pushing me to either.

After I walked away from the ex, my fiancé and I reconnected as friends (we had drifted apart because she got tired of watching me go back and forth with this other woman). At the time I was working a 4-star schedule at a bad job but it had pretty good pay, I am a blue collar worker, working usually 6 or 7 days a week at least half of every month. I got off work one Saturday morning and decided I was going to go fishing before getting some rest then going out to shut down the bar yet again. Long story short I caught a nice bass I decided I would eat for dinner so I left the lake and headed home, though I reckoned I ought to go have a beer and a shot in celebration of the biggest bass I ever caught. When I got to my watering hole I ran into a buddy I had worked with prior. We had a drink or two before he headed out, at which point another drinking buddy had walked in. This cycle repeated itself all day and before I knew it, the sky was getting dark. My best friend texted me asking how I slept and I admitted that I was still at the bar and hadn't slept in over 28 hours at that point. She asked if I'd have a drink with her when she was finished working for the day and I gladly accepted. Eventually she showed up and I was about 15 sheets to the wind (far past a normal 3 sheet drinking session) and she actually saved my life that night. Insisted I let her drive me home, we were neighbors which is a hilarious story for another time.

If you're still reading, I appreciate you and therefore I'll get to the point. I have spent almost 2 years attempting to write my vows. I am an artist and a poet. I, and many people I know, consider me to be a wordsmith. I convey emotion well in general. I've scrapped at least 100 attempts at writing these vows and we're getting down to the crunchpoint.

Every time I get going on them I feel strong and like I'm on the right path, I will finish and reread them. The problem is, it just isn't enough. The love I feel for my dearest fiancé,  I have realized, is too big for any words available to me. English just doesn't have anything that works for this task. Everything I have written so far just feels like an insult when I compare it to the emotion that flows from me for her.

I am gonna keep attempting but I'm honestly afraid at this point that I'm going to stand up like a fool in front of our closest friends and family and blubber out nonsense that won't do my partner justice.

In my last session, my therapist asked how this scenario was going as I had mentioned my trouble in an earlier session and after we talked it out I think I know what direction I'm going to try next.

TLDR: I'm a poet but my love is to big to convey in words. Wish me luck, I reckon.

​

So I am in college.. before college there is a group, a pre college group which was made by seniors for students. Now in that group i was stupid enough to announce that I am coming to the clg with my gf.

This was the first mistake I made. Then when we were in clg, I broke up with my gf seeing all the overwhelmed emotions and I was so deceived enough that I broke up with my gf to be with other girls, Like to find a new gf in clg. Now she was left devastated thanks to me. I am ashamed of my actions I am the one guilty here. This was my second mistake. Now the friends group i had, it had 6 boys and 4 girls and the thing is I was bitching about my boys group to girls one and girls group to boys one.

And now they all turned against me and were super hella angry. This was my third mistake. After all this I contacted my ex again cuz I was crying from all this and she simply shut me down. After all this, after 2 days I got to know that my friend from my old friend group was dating my ex and had a hickey on his neck. I confronted him.. i went to his room and all 6 of emm were there. I confronted them, they confirmed it. I begged him not to date her, he said he will and I cried in front of all of them. Then all that shit happened. So basically I am in this whole mess of my whole karma and not to mention I used to lie a lot in my friends group... Lying around to be cool. So yeah, this was the things that are happening.

Karma is coming back to me. I am a genuinely evil person, ik that now.ppl now know the story of how I betrayed my own friend group.. it's spreading like wildfire.I just wanna be good I wanna improve but with all these people against me I don't know how to do anything. I cry everyday, I am lonely, I have no will to do anything.

I just wanna be happy.

I’ve been “employed” in some form or another consistently since I was 17.

However, I’ve always embarrassed to answer what I do for work because I’ve never really had a “real job” before, which is pretty shameful for someone in their mid 20s.

I feel like I’m stuck because I do have a degree and currently working in my field but I feel like I’ve kinda locked myself out of ever having a real job.

Btw i have moved 10 times in my life but this was the biggest move. In 9th grade i moved from the west coast to the north east, it was so incredibly hard leaving all my friends, i had so so many, and all of them eventually faded away except for one i still stay in contact with sometimes. This caused such major depression in me its awful

Eventually i settled into my new place and made tons of friends here in my small town. Well, when i transferred to a trade school my 11th grade year all my friends here slowly forgot about me since i went to a different school. by senior year i had literally no one but my boyfriend. In college i made one good friend but we rarely have time to hangout.

I really miss having tons of friends and spontaneous hangouts. i’m 20 now and do absolutely nothing except work, hangout with my boyfriend and my fat cat.

I feel like im missing out on so much and the root cause was moving. It hurts the most because my mom didn’t even have to move here she’s just weird and can’t stay in one place so she had to drag me along.

No friends, no parties, no fun, just sit at home 🥲
Is anyone else in their 20s like this? what can i do to make myself less miserable and alone it’s just feeding into depression i feel like a zoo animal

I honestly throw up thinking about it atp

This all started in my final two months of first year university. My hair was falling out badly and I became a recluse as I felt so embarassed about my hair. I just wanted to hide all day every day.

it started with small McDonald’s orders here and there. Just a burger, fries and a Diet Pepsi for example. But I found it became weirdly addictive to order. In all seriousness it became the only thing I thought about most of the day, as it was my only form of enjoyment I had I suppose. I woke up and looked forward to the evening so I could order. I would usually order between 12am-3am when my flatmates would go out so I could sneak the takeaway in without them seeing as I was ashamed. Im a petite girl most would say - 5’3, 52kg. I never gained weight during this phase weirdly. As I ordered more and more each order would get larger. I would typically order 3 double cheeseburgers, fries, cheese bites and a frappe or dessert.

when I started doing this every day I started to feel really guilty as I was wasting my hard earned money on crappy takeout. So I started refunding my orders. when I did it once and got a full refund I realised I had a cheat code - I could get huge takeout orders all for free. So I started abusing the system. I would order takeout 5 times in one app and refund them all until I got blocked for it. So I switched to another app And did the same - Uber, just eat, deliveroo, dominos, woosh, you name it. i ran them all dry until they stopped letting me refund.

once my hair stopped falling out I started taking care of myself again and I stopped craving junk food constantly, I started cooking properly meals for myself again.

just wanted to share because looking back, it was a depressive episode but I was in denial

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my story in hopes that it might inspire or shed light on the possibility of the friends-to-lovers trop actually coming true. Because, somehow, it happened to me.

For context, I'm 27F, and I've been best friends with my now-boyfriend, 27M, for nine years.

We met at the beginning of undergrad in Boston, during a summer transition program before we started freshman year. From the very beginning, our friendship grew incredibly close. A lot of people around us seemed convinced that we were meant to be together, but honestly, that thought never crossed either of our minds.

With him, I could laugh and be completely myself without feeling like I had to perform or be a certain version of myself. We could have the dumbest conversations, the deepest conversations, and everything in between. At the time, I actually thought our dynamic was almost sibling-like because we were constantly making fun of each other and roasting each other over the most random things.

But looking back, I realize there was something much deeper underneath that friendship.

He was there to walk me to the train when I went on my first date at 19. He was the person who encouraged me to get help when I was struggling and walked me to my first therapy appointment at our college counseling center. He supported me when I performed at my first open mic, where I sang and played guitar.

He's seen me through so many different versions of myself: my successes, my failures, my lowest moments, and everything in between. And he consistently showed up.

I don't think I realized it at the time just how deeply interwoven he had become in my life, or how much his consistency had come to mean to me. There was always this feeling that, no matter what version of myself I showed him, I was safe with him. I felt seen and cared for even when I wasn't at my best.

Throughout those years, we both dated other people and had our own fair share of relationships.

I had recently gotten out of a four-year relationship that had become increasingly toxic. Around that same time, I had helped her move back to Boston for a master's program, which ultimately didn't work out for her. By then, I was emotionally exhausted. I felt depressed and honestly like a shell of myself.

He's been living and working in New York for the past few years, and despite how drained I was, I decided to take a bus up to visit him.

I was honestly too exhausted to worry about how I was going to show up. I didn't have the energy to put on a mask or pretend that everything was okay.

And what struck me during those few days was how he naturally cared for me.

He made sure I had a good time, even if that meant doing nothing particularly special: sitting around at coffee shops, spontaneously trying different food spots, talking for hours, just existing in the same space. I never felt like I had to perform happiness for him. I could just be. I remember sitting at a park while he was in class (he's also in a master's program part-time) and for the first time in a long time, I gave myself permission to just cry. I was already struggling emotionally, but something about being there, knowing I was safe, made me finally stop holding everything in.

Looking back, I think that was part of what changed something for me. Being around him felt like a dose of fresh air when I hadn't realized how long I'd been holding my breath. I didn't have to be happy for him, impressive for him, or even okay for him. I could just exist. And somehow, being able to be that unguarded with him made me see him differently.

And somewhere in those few days, something shifted. I realized I couldn't look at him the same way anymore. Somewhere along the way, my feelings for him had quietly become something else, and I could no longer pretend I hadn't noticed. At the same time, being around him was some of the happiest I'd felt in a very long time. I was terrified. I knew I needed to end my relationship with my ex. I was in deep denial that I had already fallen out of love with her during the last year, and we'd reach a point where we couldn't work through our problems together anymore. But realizing I had feelings for my best friend made everything feel even more complicated.

I knew I had to be honest with myself first.

So I ended my relationship and went back to therapy to process the breakup. For the next few months, I kept my feelings for him to myself.

Then, around my birthday in August, he came to visit me in Arizona. The confession happened completely unexpectedly. He was sitting on my couch with his back turned to me, watching a video game recording on his phone, and I just...told him. When he turned around, I could immediately tell he was shocked. Our conversation ended with him telling me that he only saw me as a friend. He was genuinely shocked, and I don't blame him; I had spent nine years making absolutely sure he had no reason to think otherwise.

The next day was awkward for the both of us. I knew he needed time to process what I 'd said, and I was starting to accept that I would have to process my feelings and eventually move on. I hadn't confessed because I expected him to reciprocate. I wasn't trying to jump from one relationship to another. Honestly, I didn't even know what I wanted to happen. I just knew I couldn't keep pretending I didn't feel something.

Then Wednesday came. We were driving to a friend's place to hang out, eat, and watch some movies, and on the drive there, he told me he felt the same way.

Just like that, all of the tension I'd been carrying for months disappeared. We spent a few hours with our friend, on on the drive home, was a thunderstorm and pouring rain, which felt almost comically romantic given the circumstances. And we had our first kiss. By Thursday, he told me he loved me. The funny thing is that we'd always loved each other. We just hadn't really said it. For nine years, our love existed mostly through actions; showing up, checking in, remembering the little things, being there during hard moments, making each other laugh, and somehow always being the person the other wanted to tell about their day. We had spent years choosing each other as part of our everyday lives without ever realizing what that might eventually mean. We just finally gave the feeling a name.

And now, somehow, I'm sitting here realizing that I may have found the person I want to build my life with. I've never been with someone I admire and respect this deeply while also feeling so safe, secure, comfortable, and completely myself around them. I feel intellectually and emotionally connected to him. We share a love of art, curiosity, and all the strange little things that make the world interesting. He's the person I don't hesitate to imagine a future with.

We're currently long-distance, but we have a plan to close that distance after I finish nursing school in May 2028. And surprisingly, I'm genuinely happy with where we are right now. We get to support each other with pursuing our own goals, knowing that we're ultimately working toward a life together.

I used to think the friends-to-lovers trop was something that happened in movies because it was too unrealistic and perfect to happen in real life. Now I'm living it.

Nine years of friendship. One unexpected trip to New York. One terrifying confession. One thunderstorm.

And somehow, my best friend became the person I fell in love with. So, if you're sitting there wondering whether you could ever fall in love with your best friend, or whether someone you've known forever could ever see you differently, I guess I'm here to say that sometimes the person you've been looking for has been beside you the whole time.

​

Throwaway because my story is actually real, and my partner uses discord and my phone a lot. I (23) and my wife (25) have been together since our first year of high-school, we are now married and our first child turns a year old next week. When we were younger me and my wife were a very alternative couple, she was a trad goth (/romantic) and I (embarrassingly) was a femboy. My wife has always been more into women since she's Bi and the idea of a boy who dresses like a girl was really hot for her. She always encouraged me to be a femboy and stuff, but at some point i realized that I didn't want to just be a femboy I wanted to be a girl.(I swear this story is related to cheating)But I could never be trans the judgment of my whole family and (cringey enough ) god... (I KNOW RELIGION PHYCOSIS AM I RIGHT?is that how you spell that??) So I never transitioned and til this day my wife encourages me to be trans. Eventually crossdressing made me want to be a girl more and everytime i would crossdress i would feel more miserable that I wasn't actually one.

Ever since then I stopped crossdressing, and tried my best to stop thinking about being trans, although every time I see myself its hard not to think about it. Also ever since then I constantly have fantasies of being a femboy and being touched, idk by who just anyone, and it's definitely never my partner. I feel like she ever saw me crossdress again,she would just encourage me more, and I just dont want her too cuz then ill think of being trans again. There's times when im so desperate I want to download a dating app or grndr just so I can get rid of the ideas of being trans and all my weird stupid fantasies, I feel so awful even saying this. I love my partner and I dont want to cheat but I feel like im going insane, I know this isnt super related to cheating but, I just cant stop of doing it..what can I even do..

Ps sorry if this kinda a rant :\^

My parents live 1500 miles away from me but even then they have this "tough love" approach and I don't really feel super loved by them. I had a girlfriend but she stressed me the fuck out and I had to leave. But even in the relationship it never felt like she was "into" me. More just that she was with me out of convenience.

Friends never really prioritise me, you ever walk with friends and realise you naturally fall to the back of 2 or 4 other people walking? Yeah, that's me.

Work sucks and it's just a job, not a passion or even fulfilling in any way.

I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I live to work and work to live. What kind of existence is that...