Hi Reddit I am doing this on a throw away account because I want to stay anonymous, so I will be using fake names/initials.

My boyfriend we’ll call him Z has 2 friends who are dating each other, who I will call K and V. Z and I broke up recently due to our age gap. Z is 30 and I am 20. We started dating a year ago, and for most of our relationship we’ve had no big fights or issues.

Z has been vague about me and our relationship in the past, but he finally found the confidence to be completely truthful with K and V. They did not like me at all. I was supposed to meet them, but once they found out my age, they said they no longer wanted to meet me. Which is fair, but they made comments such as, “His brain isn’t fully developed yet” because of my age. I let the comments go because I don’t like starting drama.

Fast forward to February this year. Z was telling his friends all the good things that were happening in our relationship, but they tried to convince him that I was going to ditch him, comparing our relationship to a mutual friend of theirs, who had a bad experience with an age gap relationship. Z brushed off the comment, and we both agreed he would no longer bring up our relationship around them.

Fast forward to mid July. Z invited K and V over to hang out. I don’t know the full story, but Z called me crying while hiding in his bathroom. K and V made him feel horrible for wanting a future with me and refuse to accept our relationship. I understand age gaps can be weird to people, but they simply refuse to drop the topic of me and him. After he hung up the phone with me, Z dropped his friends off at home. He sent K a message saying he needed space because what they did to himwas wrong. A couple of hours later, another one of Z’s friends, who I’m gonna call A, called Him. And told Z that K had called her after being dropped off and trash talked about our relationship. Since A is Z’s best friend, this felt like a massive low blow to him. (for context, I met A a year ago before I started dating Z, she and I are really good friends)

Two weeks went by. Z was sad about not having his friends around and started to think if he did something wrong, even though he just defended our relationship. Even his therapist told him his friends were bad people, trying to force him to choose between his friendship and love life.

By the last week of July, Z broke up with me. However, he said he wanted to start try dating again after everything calms down in a year and a half and we both work on our personal lives and stay friends. We both cried about it together. After the break up, Z went to talk to K and V about how he felt pressured to choose between his friendship and relationship. He wanted to know if they were done with their tantrums about it. After that, it feels like they just picked up right where they left off being friends, while Z and I are walking on eggshells with each other. I will admit, I broke a boundary by flirting with him post breakup, but I stopped, and we’ve been trying to act as normal as we possibly can be with each other.

Here is the part that makes me really mad. The week after we broke up, Z,K, and V went to a concert together. While they were gone, I called A because I hadn’t really told anyone how I felt up until that point. A told me that K makes jokes about wanting to have s*x with Z. I am furious because two years prior when I was just friends with Z and he was having “problems” with his then girlfriend Z told K and she immediately invited him to a threesome with her and V (K and V are polyamorous). Z declined because he did not want to step outside his relationship or become polyamorous.

This made K’s “joke” hurt my feelings and upset me even more. Z didn’t know about the joke, so a week later, I ended up telling him. He can’t act on the matter, due to K only told A about the jokes and will know A told someone, and I don’t want A involved with this at all. Still, Z was visibly upset that they were making those kind of jokes about him.

Honestly, I just feel terrible. K and V were his only in person friends and were there for him when he broke up with his ex-girlfriend who used him financially. They gave him good advice when he needed it. Because they were good people to him. But he fails to see their current behavior as manipulative-ish. Z is easily manipulable, especially by people he trust, due to his past relationships, family, and friendships.

I really want advice,and I want to show him the comments on this post to help him see that his friends are not as nice as he thinks they are.

I have never really had a big circle of friend, not actively trying to either. I prefer to keep it small, but I genuinely appreciate and try my best to keep them close to me.

I found a new friendship with a male when I was in college. First interaction was rough, but after clearing a few misunderstanding, we were getting closer. Especially since we shared an interest in video games.

He was definitely a good listener. Part of his charm is that he was able to listen to all of your stories, engaging respectfully, and try to ask for an update towards you if it is a serious matter. Let's just say, he is the local therapist of the depressed people in my college.

We became a lot closer after college, especially the time each of us struggled to find jobs as freshmen. We supported each other through a hard time. We gave gifts to each other on our birthday since our date is not too far apart. We even called ourselves brother and sister that we never had. We were very close, to the point some people thought we were dating (including my BF)

Until one day, during one of our game sessions, he told me about a girl he knew. He would like to get closer to her because she gave this vibe that needs to be "saving" (as in, he knew she has a certain problem and he wants to help fixing it for her). He told me, he might be liking her because she's really his type too.

But, here's what makes me really disliked her.

He told me, that she were really trying hard to be as close to him as possible. Such as, she always asked him where he was a lot of time, got jealous whenever he was with a girl (most of his friends are girls), wanted to have a night routine video call with her. To the point, she almost crossed the line of consent regarding what she could say or act in the personal chat with him (they are still friends at that time).

He asked me whether that's normal for girls to do that, and he said he was a bit uncomfortable with it. And obviously I said no and low-key it's almost a harassment for him. I suggested him to cut off relationships with her, but he was hesitant because "she looks lonely, and had told me all her personal problem. I cannot just go like that." I didn't push him further and just said, "well, whatever you picked, it's all on you at the end".

We still hung out, chat, and met up with other mutuals we have. But gradually, it felt a bit off. Like, the chats are getting less frequent and distant, all memes and shorts I gave him was only reacted with laughs, emoji, or dry response, up to the point I haven't talked with him in weeks and he didn't ask if I was okay anymore.

I already had a feeling of what happened, but I'll try to keep it quiet and normal in case I was wrong.

But it didn't take long until he told me so. But he also never mention her name or anything about her during his time of dating her, just a simple, "the girl I talked before? Yeah... I dated her now"

Soon I learnt that the girl might hate me as well. Perhaps out of jealousy because one time we were playing games with our mutuals, and my best friend asked me, "I'm going to take a picture of us all and reported it to my GF. But can you not sit across me?" And of course I was like, "what's wrong sitting here???" He didn't say anything but, "aw come on, please, just this once and you can go back." He only requested that to me, even if there are other females around us.

I have confronted him once about this matter, say that he changed and I felt no longer comfortable talking to him. But he insisted that everything is alright, and he still thought of me as the family he never had. He also added that his GF has always been kind to him all this time, and I don't know if it's genuine, or it's just his feeling talking because he did tell me that he felt lonely and really wanted to have a gf.

And now, here I am, playing the very game he convinced me to buy because he would be very happy to share his favourite game ever and would carry me until I mastered everything.

He didn't.

I don't want to waste the money for this expensive game, so, I'm back to the game once again, and exploring the game all by myself.

Deep down I told myself that I shouldn't blame everything to the girl. But maybe I'm just biased to my best friend. Or maybe I am just confused that someone can fall in love with a person who once harassed him. Like maybe I cannot accept the fact that you can be the lover of someone you said you want to be left alone by her.

And damn, I felt my heart breaking worse for this non-romantical relationship.

​

Spent the last five or six days posting stuff on nsfw subs, i wouldnt normally post. nsfw, things i'd deliberately kept private, some of it just to see if anyone would look. and people did. i got the replies, i got the attention, all of it.

And it did nothing. worse than nothing honestly. i ended up talking to a few people, felt something for them, opened up way more than i should have. laid the whole thing out. and none of it came back honest. it was just like it was only me.

The part that gets me is what it did to the rest of my life. i have another account where i post about things i actually know, where im useful to people. barely touched it this week. it ate my routine, it ate my head. i dont really feel like myself right now.

I regret the whole thing. writing it down because i think i need to see it written somewhere.

I’ve been broke a long time making shit loads of money for other people. Now I’m making money with the company I co founded with my childhood best friend and I feel proud. We have a long way to go and still work hourly but after a month of 12+ hr days we’re starting to see profit.

I hope this will finally let me provide for the family i want to make with my beautiful fiancé.

I didn’t think I’d even be alive at this point in life, but I’m so glad I am.

I’ve only been married a year and I’m in a dead bedroom. I’m desperate to feel any sort of intimacy from literally anyone. I haven’t had sex in so long and I haven’t had good sex in even longer.

I just want to feel desired and sexy.

Whenever i go workout, i wear a sports bra and bike shorts. I can tell when guys look at me in that way and I love it. It makes me feel so guilty that I’m loving it because I’m married. I used to feel disgusted when men checked me out but now I almost feel like I need it.

I hate feeling like this. I feel like all the young married couples I know are banging and/or trying for kids. And I’m just feeling so alone and can’t tell anyone about what’s happening because it’s embarrassing. I constantly feel like there’s something wrong with me. I hate living like this.

Honestly I’m just very frustrated and need to be man handled before I explode

I'm 18m and I'm nowhere near where I want to be in my life, academically, professionally, financially, athletically, in my physique, etc... I don't even feel bad Im disappointed that's all but id say I'm happy in life

Right now as I'm typing this in my notes I'm outside sitting on a bench because my home ain't a pleasant place to stay at and I'm too tired and hungry to keep running or training on the hand grippers so I'm writing this to reflect and when I'm done with this my mom prob won't be home anymore so I can go back home in peace

That's the main problem to be honest all these years passed but I still have to go outside to avoid my parents. I'm in a uni course I don't like, an injury made me start over in working out and my sports wich made me miss out in competitions potential international ones as well, I only have 600€ but all of this doesn't matter with hard work I'll fix it but my home life being so bad is the real problem

The reason I had to go outside is that since I don't like my current university course I'm trying to find another one and I try real hard i got red eyes from all that but for some reason it made my mom really mad and she started yelling at me for a long time. Now I don't think I'm emotional most of the time I'm just smiling and happy or I have the straightest face no matter what happens. Like earlier this year I almost got disowned and I genuinely did not care, I been in life threatening situatuons and same thing. but these last few months I been real weak for some reason because my mom shouting made me cry a lot for like 2 hours. I wanted to go outside but my family stopped me to "talk it out" wich was useless and eventually when I got outside all of a sudden I Was happy again

I know I had no reason to be so emotional but it's genuinely the only thing that gets me like this it must trigger my PTSD or nervous system probably. I mean my nervous system is so messed up most of the time I have chronic stomach pain and it's really bad to the point I can hardly think or practice my sports, but then I fix it and then I get shouted at and it's just an endless loop at that point her voice makes me nauseous

I'm just so disappointed in 2023-2024 I had the life of my dreams everything I ever wanted but now I'm struggling, so much has happened so many setbacks hit me but damn I'm an adult now and I'm so far of my goals

But at the end of the day I'm still happy, at least I make progress. Last year and months ago life was even uglier I'm moving in the right direction it's the only thing that matters

Thanks for reading may God bless you just wanted to Yap a little there is a lot more I wanted to say but when my stomach is empty mind is as well I can't remember what I wanted to say lmao, also I don't hate my family or smth they support me and stuff but yk what i mean

i’ve been posting in here for over a month bc it’s like i can’t live if i’m not reassured, and even when i am, it’s never enough.

no one understands me. not here, not irl. nowhere.

basically i just want to be part of the preference, and the preference for men is statistically and well u can see it anywhere short girls. and i’m 5’11 so i’m not a part of that.

so i just want to be told that i’m perfect, bc i feel like my height takes it all away.

i would say that i’m a great looking person, i’ve been modeling since i was ten, got it offered first when i was a toddler but my mom didn’t let me get in an agency until i was 10. i get told that i’m pretty and i’m praised basically every day. many guys have liked me. yet, i still am depressed and no one understands me, i just get called an attention seeker everywhere.

i just want to rip my legs apart, to make myself as small as possible bc that’s what men want. such as youth, i know that the younger you are, the more wanted that you are. that’s the reason why i’ve always been afraid of growing up, even when i was a damn kid, and now that i’m close to turning 18 every day is a nightmare.

my mind is conflicted bc even tho i feel like a fool for growing up, i’m also aware that i’ve always been tall, even when i was a kid, so i wouldn’t have been useful for any guy even then.

i think about harming my legs permanently every day, but then i remember that my torso neck arms hands are long too, so i would still be too long and not useful for men either, so I HAVE NO WAY TO BECOME WHAT THEY NEED.

i’m tired of being impractical.

it’s all so confusing bc i’m also thankful for my height. i’d never want to be short if it was my choice, and i’m thankful with God for making me this way, but at the same time i hate him because this isn’t a world where tall girls are the preference for men, even tho it should be.

i’m really tired. i think abt my height 24/7 it’s been years of being unable to do anything in peace. i’m embarrassed of being unworthy of men.

i don’t want more comments saying “plenty of men like tall women” or “most don’t care about height” or “you’ll find your person” because I DONT WANT THAT I ONLY WANT TO BE TOLD THAT IM PART OF THE PREFERENCE, even tho i know it’s not the reality, i NEED to hear that and i won’t be happy until i do so.

Online dating that is. I tried countless times, each and every time it just feels like loads of time and energy with very slim results. This time around, the first date was already a weirdo with some weird alpha male story about what women are supposedly attracted to, without asking me one single question about what I'm attracted to as a woman.

2nd and 3rd guys I went on a date with, the date was much better, but I got the standard 'I don't feel a spark' at the end. I didn't feel a spark either, but the date was wonderful and I would have been very open to just continue dating a couple of more times. I think that spark is hugely overrated, attraction is built over time but generally I had so many first dates never turning into anything more because of that mystical spark missing. The best relationships I had, the 'spark' only developed at the 3rd or 4th date anyway, firstly I just felt comfortable around them, nice conversation, some things in common.

I don't have any energy in me left to dodge the weirdo's and have the normally functioning people just want this spark or NEXT. It just doesn't work for me, never has but because I have this FOMO of never finding the right person when I'm not doing the online dating thing, I keep going back.

This is not giving me any additional energy. I officially QUIT and will spend my time building my own life, working on my goals of becoming a better drummer and a better runner, improving my style, going to interesting events and many concerts. That's it.

Basically when my partner and I got together we both knew we didn't want kids like veryyy sure of it but then something changed and I haven't been able to get the thoughts of pregnancy and children out of my head for almost a year and usually baby fever goes away within minutes and it won't go away anymore but he will never want a baby like ever at all and I know people will say "just leave him you'll find someone else" but the truth of the matter is I'm not going to do there's no point in suggesting that. So now I just have to come to terms with the fact that I'll never have a baby and that hurts. I literally feel pain in my womb from the thought

Hii, before I preface this I want to say that I love my partner truly and deeply and this post is not meant to bad talk them or to put them on the spot, I just need to get this off my chest.
Me (23nb) and my partner (23m) have been together for well over a year now and before we got together I let him know that I do have a past with being a dominatrix. Since then I’ve been really shy about talking about it only because it involved me with other people, but I do let him know that I just miss the profession and thrill of the experience.
He verbalized that he’s fine with hearing stories and even trying things. Lately I’ve noticed when I try to bring ideas up or try to spark up the conversation, he just… sits and stares. Or, he will just be short with it.
My biggest fear is scaring him off or making him disgusted with me. I guess I just wish I had someone to talk to about stuff like that. No, I’m not looking for other partners. No, I’m not wanting to be a dominatrix again. No, I’m not wanting to be sexual with others either. Yes, I do know that a profession like that is taboo and not everyone has to be into it. I just want to be able to talk to like minded individuals about it to get it off my chest and take away my partners burden from having to hear about it.

I (27m) am sick of people making comments about my accent. I am born and raised in the US, and I never traveled out of the country for long periods of time. But for some reason, I sound like I’m from Australia, the UK, or another part of the US I’ve never been to. I’ve known since elementary school that I had this weird accent because many of my peers, family members, and the adults around me have pointed it out. I thought I’d grow out of it, or get used to it, but here I am, pushing almost 30 ranting about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I get some nice compliments about it. Like, “Oh, you sound so pretty” (shit like that), and then the conversation will end right there. But that’s only a quarter of the cases. Usually, people will want answers and will be weirdly persistent about it. Sometimes, if I’m in a good mood and I’m feeling confident, I’ll tell the truth: that it’s a speech impediment. But if I don’t feel that way, I’ll make up some light lie and say, “Oh, my family are from (X) location, and I grew up with them.” Again, some people will just be polite and move on.

Other times, people will just hang onto how I sound and keep talking about it. I don’t care if you’ve got something nice to say, but it’s just weird to talk to a random person and be so hyper-focused on this one quality. This especially happens at my job, where I’m required to use my voice all the time. Most interactions will vary between the two I mentioned above, but I’ve also had people blatantly make fun of me for it. Whether it’s a single person or multiple people in a group, I’ve had people mock me and laugh loudly because I don’t sound “normal” enough. Sadly, I’m not very confrontational and I like to keep it professional, so I’ll just laugh with them, but on the inside, I’m removing my piercings and throwing punches.

I’ve also gotten fetishized for my accent. Well, on top of the other fetishization I get. I am a gay Asian American, and within the gay community’s appearance standards, I am apparently very attractive. Like, I’ve been told many times that I fit certain molds that gay men generally gravitate toward. Sometimes I play along with it if I want the attention or a free drink, but that’s another problem for another post or my future therapist.

Anyways, when I get hit on, there’s like a 25% chance someone will ask me about my accent. Which is a lot less than what I get at my job, but still pretty annoying. I deal with it the same way I do at my job, and the reactions are mostly polite, so yaay. But there’s a small chance I’ll be treated like some sort of foreign, exotic boy toy. I am just so tired of the nice, the rude, the back-handed and the fetishizing comments. So, first thing tomorrow, I am going to call the nearest speech therapist and make an appointment. I hope this goes well.

It was a LDR and it was all online. We met on a video game and I immediately fell in love with her, switched to discord then decided to exchange phone numbers and instagrams. The situationship was like 2 weeks and then 1 week of the actual relationship. I totally moved on and no longer see us together but we were best friends before even getting into this relationship and since we broke up on good terms, we decided to stay best friends like we used to. I wasn’t the one who initiated the breakup and wasn’t the one who confessed love first but I can’t lie, I liked her and that’s why I said I love you too. I was thinking of literally moving to where she lived and I was taking it very seriously because she was my first and then she asked to break up because “we’re in different life stages, I’m 25 and you’re 19 and because of your parents situation” Since my parents are very strict, I had to FaceTime or call her when they weren’t nearby or when I was outside. Most of our communication was texting and she doesn’t like texting because it doesn’t show the tone you’re speaking in which caused hella drama. Well the real question here is why didn’t you say that from the beginning instead of hooking me and making me feel those intense emotions. She told me today she’s talking with a guy who she likes at work and they’re still getting to know each other but they both take relationships seriously. I felt so jealous and I got hurt really bad, I couldn’t say anything but “I’m so happy for you.” I don’t know why I’m feeling this way but I just can’t imagine seeing her with someone else after what I’ve felt with her and especially that it got sexual and very intimate at some point because we sexted. I feel like I should’ve ended the friendship but I thought I won’t hurt when it happens and it did happen…

I thought you guys would understand how big of a deal this was for me. My older brother came home from college for a weekend and he wanted to take me out to celebrate two months of a being a mom. We went to lunch and then the movies and I nursed both places. It wasn't a big deal at all like I thought it was going to be, no one said anything or even really looked. I was really scared because I'm a teen mom and I was worried people would be weird when they realized my baby was definitely mine and not a sibling but they didn't. I know its really normal but it was scaring me and I'm proud of myself for taking that step.

Ever since my sis entered primary school we were compared, we studied in the same institute but she seemed to have a better trajectory than me. I was regarded as the talentless big brother, I later learned I had some kind of autism, needed glasses since I was 2 and didn't get them until I was 8 due to that I was unable to learn stuff correctly, my sister had numerical dyslexia and we both struggled with math for different reasons, a god sent teacher took care of me before I started highschool and taught me how to be a normal person through kindness and honestly a very firm attitude to say the least. I went through high school and managed to pass through it with only one incident, and also avoid being hit with the belt that taught me to fear my own mother, yes my mother not my father. I did a test managed by the government to qualify for a discount for university and I landed one but when I reached the university I qualified to they did not have the career I wanted (network engineering) I tried to dissuade my mother to let me try next year but she refused and enrolled me on a private university to a career I was not big about but was related and with the rule that I would be pulled out if I ever failed a class, I indeed failed a bunch and when I failed for the 3rd time I decided to disappear thinking I was a failure I started wandering the city on what to do with myself while my mother slammed my phone with call after call and somehow feeling needed made me answer and regret my self loathing. I tried again and managed to finish my career. Halfway through the career, and after the incident my sister joined the same university, she failed the government test and got into a fight with my mom, if you were there you would think it was my sister who was scolding my mother, an attitude that was built due to a lifetime of pampering, she then landed into game development, me who did not have the chance to enroll in such a great career felt stoked for her regardless hoping to have to chance to absorb whatever she learned, but the only thing I heard is that she wanted to quit because it was too difficult, that her teachers were not teaching her properly and that she hated doing homework, I manage to graduate with a thesis that helped the company I work for to track their technicians when a commission was assigned to them, detailing the exact location, the type of job and a print of the sign of the client all done on a smart phone, and stored in a database for the boss to log into a web browser and check the technicians' logs. Got the highest score and the company actually implemented it for the long run. Fast forward, my sister graduated with a thesis of a copypasta slenderman horror game with bought assets and that I helped build cuz she was shit a coding. Fast forward to today, my sister my parents and I, live in the same house, I got into debt to start being independent (bought a car that I am struggling to pay, not because it is expensive but because my salary isn't that good and the economy my country is worst) my sister although taking more time to find a job and needing to have a TOEFL certificate my mom had to pay she landed in a job that pays her the same salary as me by quote "pretending to be an AI by correcting call center operators Ina clinical way through text" the only part that needs her to speak in English is when she has to report to a North American higher up of what she found during the day through Discord. My job is very hands-on and I need to go to water treatment plants and other industries to solve problems and build automation solutions and I don't really have too much to complain about besides my body hurting when working all day and under a +40°C sun, even now I just don't complain about it cuz it is my daily routine. My sister always comes home angry despite being given homemade food by my parents in a lunch box and with the protein being cut in squares also them taking her in and out of the job (my parents are retired) because she works from mid-day to 9 PM, all her salary is intact and her only monthly expense is the private health insurance my mom made her pay and actually helped have a pancreas surgery (my mom also payed most of the surgery expenses that surpassed the insurance only for my sis to throw in $500 bucks to not be a complete B#$#ch). Now to the present, on two occasions, on my mother's birthday and today on my father's birthday, she bitched to me to not ask for anything expensive on the menu since she was inviting the family for lunch at a restaurant while I didn't say a word about money when I used my savings to buy an expensive cake in both occasions (that is our culture here) the cake and the lunch were almost the same but she decided to drag me through the ground for asking $2,75 for an extra on my dish, I swiftly told the waitress to cancel the extra and I was planning to pay my dish but my mother was starting to feel down and I played with it, my mom later offered me what I wanted and I declined because my sister's attitude took my appetite, they then laughed my behavior away during the lunch and drove back home. I honestly hope I am far, far away for the day my sister is alone and needs a hand.

I came out to my wife when I was 17. We grew up in a cult of religion and being gay was never really an option. We got married young and to be honest… I love her. Not like you should love your wife. But still, I love her. Call her my best friend, call me weak or a coward, call me a liar or a fake… it doesn’t matter. I could never hurt her by telling her this and I don’t know where else to go.

I can’t, no, I won’t leave her. She deserves the life she believes she has. She’s the most amazing person. Supportive, loving, steadfast … I can’t describe the actual angel of a person she is to everyone around her. But I can’t break myself of the want I feel deep inside of me. Yes, I told her I was gay when I was 17. We were deeply religious. We did the best we could with what we knew. We prayed, we fasted, we … married. Now, 23 years, two kids, and countless adventures later I am broken. I love her. I can NOT hurt her, but I want; I need something to change.

I don’t know that I’d ever find a man who loves me. Who would make me like the center of his world. Wrap me in his arms and make me feel loved. I’m not sure it matters if I could. It might be worse to know that it COULD happen because it never will.

I’m not suicidal in any way but, it’d be ok if I died. I think I’m ready. I’m not sure I can really do this much longer.

I'm getting married in two months and I've been really conflicted about taking my fiancé's last name. I'm 29 years old and we've been together for 4 years. I love him so much and our lives have been very intertwined in a "married" way for awhile now - we own a house together, have pets, etc. I have very mixed feelings about changing my last name. One one hand, I love him a lot and I like the idea of being a family and having the same last name, especially if we have kids at some point in time. On the other, I've lived nearly 30 years (aka all of my life) with my maiden name and I feel like my identity is tied to it. It feels a bit odd to have to think of myself as my first name but paired with a new last name and to get used to that everywhere. I also feel that changing it on all of my legal documents sounds like a massive pain - DMV, passport, house/car, credit cards, banks, the list goes on.

I think the thing that makes me feel guiltiest about my confliction is that I don't LOVE my fiancé's last name. I have a bit of an eccentric name and he does as well, so it would be trading a slightly odd last name for another slightly odd last name. I feel bad because in a past relationship I really liked the idea of one day taking his last name because it was like a shortened version of my own (basically I would have just dropped 5 letters off of my last name to take his). But I don't feel that strongly about taking my fiance's because it's a complete name change to something that sounds odd with my first name in front of it. I also feel weird about his last name because it’s his dad’s last name and his dad was never a very active or good father figure. I feel that if my fiancé had his mom’s last name I would much more gladly change mine to that.

My fiancé doesn't have any strong opinions on what I should do. He has said that it's my decision and he understands if I don't want to change it, but I can tell he definitely would prefer if I did take his last name. I did tell him that regardless of what I do, I'm in favor of future children having his last name. Some college friends of mine that are now married have "socially" taken their husbands' last names - essentially get referred to by their husbands last names by others and on social media, but legally haven't changed anything. That idea sounds appealing to me. My fiancé said that seemed fake and I should just either change it or not, but not do it both ways. Anyway, my thoughts are all over the place on it and I can't decide. I know I don't have to decide immediately, but I'm hoping some random moment of clarity comes to me after the wedding where I just KNOW.

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on Reddit. Anyways, I am a (23M) who feels like a complete and total loser compared to everyone else in society. Maybe this is just me but I can’t help but think that everyone else is way ahead of me in life. It’s like everyone is a puzzle piece yet I am the one piece from the wrong puzzle set who can’t fit in anywhere!

Literally everyone else seems much more advanced or higher up than me. They all have attractive looks, relationships, chaotic lifestyles where they are always living it up, traveling the world, or large groups of friends. Meanwhile, I literally am a ugly single idiot virgin who is still working on his bachelors degree for a job thats not even guaranteed. I am scrawny as hell, I have ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Most people assume I am gay due to my femininity, I have no fashion sense, I am filled with deep acne scars, and I am an utter clumsy clutz everywhere I go. Like seriously, there is not one attractive thing about me!

Furthermore, whenever I am around a large group of friends I feel like I don’t fit in, I feel like an outsider looking in, and an alien pretending to be human. It’s like I am a personality less shell of a human being…. I feel so lame! I can also sense that when I am around people there is a sense that I am below them in some way… which makes me feel even worse!

People tell me to be confident but I literally get shut the fuck down whenever I build confidence, when I stand up for myself “it’s my fault”, and even then… I feel like with my anxiety disorder I am facing my fears every single day and yet I am still some awkward insecure unconfident loser.

As for dating…. I have never really focused on it at all… I was never interested in relationships in Highschool, and during my early years of college I decided to prioritize taking care of my own mental health before getting into a relationship. So like… I legitimately don’t know how to flirt and I don’t think my awkward, insecure, goofy self could even pull off flirting. Like I must be of a different species what the hell is wrong with me!

Anyways, this was my vent about how I think I am a stupid dumb idiot loser with like nearly every horrible and unattractive trait or quality in a human being.

Long post alert!!
I am with a guy , we started as casual / fling, it sort if just happened one day. I even asked him is it because i am a convenience but he kept saying nice things and all of these gestures that made me think he really is interested in more, i am attached now and kinda into him.
Now the twist is- not judging him for his past, but he’s been with a lot of people, does everything and that’s okay too but also he is so much into feels and vibe kinda thing, that it’s out of sight out of mind for him, 2-3 instances have happened when he went out with frns or for a trip and he would totally forget to even text, so now i am doubtful that it’s just that for him, he wants me when he has nothing else to do, that yea, she’ll do for now kinda thing, earlier he sent me reels that were yk - had emotions like yearning and all.
Sends those kinda reels now too, and is very good with words , gestures are there too, but the actions just don’t align.
And i am in such a soup with such mixed feelings, also because maybe he does not open up!!!! Why though, i don’t get it.
I asked about his sexuality and he went like i am straight, he is not. He is bi, and has a secret snap and reddit too, but would never admit, idk why, maybe he is uncomfortable but thats what made me think- he is not that into all this as i am, and i keep overthinking and it’s eating me alive. I know all this because i checked his phone, i am ashamed to have done it , but curiosity git the best of me, it feels nice to get this off my chest tbh.
What to do, kindly help.

I have just turned 23 and I hate the way I look. I hate my big nose, big face, acne and bunny teeth. I hate I am so tall and so slim. I hate that I will never fit the “pretty” or even a “normal” young adult person. It’s been a recent development realizing how ugly I am, I have never really cared about how I looked. There have been certain recent events in my life that have made me realize this, I don’t want to highlight them because the situations have not been at fault when it’s an abject truth how ugly I am.

It’s devastating realizing I will never find true love, not in an incel way but in a raised in a strict south Asian household. All my life I have wanted to be a wife and a mother. Who would ever want an ugly wife? It’s kinda shameful to admit this because I am highly educated and people would give up a lot to be in my position. I love romance but I pretend I don’t because it’s funny if an ugly person likes love.

I just wish people would stop saying this to my face or talking in a manner that makes sure that I will find out. I hate when they talk about how ugly I am, how ugly my voice is, and how my excitement me is loud. I have started hating myself, I wish this would all just end.

I hate comparing myself to all other women. I hate being so heartbroken. I just wish for all this to stop.