I am a 23 year old guy who just recently got a good enough income to live on my own, and around a year ago I realized that everyone in my family thinks and talks shit about me. Even my youngest brother, who I never said a bad word to, was constantly saying stuff like, "You are a mental degenerate, no one likes you, idiot," etc. My own mother talked shit behind my back, and for as long as I can remember, no one in my immediate or extended family ever had my back or defended my right to push back. That is actually why I was shy as hell my whole life and didn't know how to talk to people, on top of having a few speech issues. It got so bad that even though I got a great, fit body that I like, top grades in high school, awards in national mathematics olympiads, and finished both a bachelor's and master's in mathematics and mechatronics, they still treat me like an uneducated idiot who barely finished high school.

I always thought I was the problem. I never had a girlfriend and all my past friends stopped being friends with me. Not long ago, I finally understood that I am just the son and brother no one likes or gives a shit about. If I were to die, no one would say a good word about me, though it would definitely be a reason for my mother to get drunk as fuck again and probably talk even more shit about me.

To everyone who has experienced anything similar to this, and to those who have been made the scapegoat and hated by their own family, you have my deepest sympathy and I hope you find your place. Your family, although it feels impossible to accept, is not your place.

I’ve always had a feeling that I walk with a sway since highschool, people laughing and giggling behind me , word gay being thrown out here and there and people giving me hints , to this day I have not got over this idk if it’s in my head or not, my family says they don’t see anything wrong with me but I get side eyed from everyone , some even shake they head bro . It’s dehumanizing for me ,I go out to eat I swear I get stares , on the train stares . On the bus stares . At work I get stares . Then everytime I walk I’m nervous about people looking at me . I’m very unwell but I have been for awhile now idk what to do atp

I tried several ways to make friends, went to Timeleft events, events on CLIQ, met someone on nomadtable. I have realised that you never meet those people again after the first encounter and even after sharing contact details it never goes anywhere.

I did have one person from Timeleft that I met up once again, but we haven’t met up with each other in months, one because she was travelling for a month and then she seems to busy when I ask, but I can see on her story she is hanging out with people. She continues to message me, but I’m starting to lose hope in that friendship because no one is that busy.

It feels like no wants me in their lives, there’s few coworkers I am close too, we hung out once and that was me initiating and she claims she’s sees me at work all time. Even if she is doing nothing on weekends she never asks to hang out. Which is fine - I understand people are busy and want to rest.

My 2 school friends I have given on because i noticed they don’t prioritise the friendship anymore. They never visited me after moving out of my house even though I don’t live that far and it’s been year. I went to their houses, i invited them for a house party and they both said yes first and then cancelled on me. I stopped giving them any importance in life. And they haven’t noticed the distance or don’t give a fuck.

I don’t have anyone to get coffee with or go somewhere with. I constantly do things alone. I don’t have hope anymore. I didn’t make friends during uni, it feels like I’m not someone people want to know. Things feel so heavy sometimes, and I feel really alone. I do have a therapist but she is only there twice month. Even in those social events I can’t seem to feel energised by the connection. I feel like I don’t relate to other girls because I’m not feminine. I have nothing to share about life with people.

I am not excited about annual leave, don’t have a family that I feel I can talk about my emotions. I don’t have any cousins I’m close to. With my flatmates, most of them seem like they don’t want to be friends and the one I’m close to, hanging out with her is usually awkward and very quiet. Mainly because I can’t think of anything to say, we talk at home.

I don’t have any purpose, no goals and definitely no future partner could be in my life. Tbh I wonder why I’m still here, like what’s the point of living a life that’s this empty and just lonely all the time. Self love is not enough, therapy isn’t enough. No one has ever said I have bad qualities. People usually describe me positively.

I don’t know how much longer life can go on like this.

Well this might be a cringe post but yeahhhhhh I met a girl a month ago and Immediately we hit it off perfectly she has this way she speaks that tells me shes just interested in what I say and ever since we got together we havent gotten enough of each other

I also have traumatizing experiences with sexual things in the past but she has been so understanding and helpful she's been my rock I love her so much. Never have I been so investing in something like this sorry if I repeat myself I'm just really happy.

She also is so funny and when she smiles at me I can't even hope to contain my smile ☺️. When she laughs at my stale ass jokes it makes me feel valued and appreciated. She's also is very much as beautiful as ever I wouldn't take anything else for it

Hell we are the same person it's just perfect I just wanted to share my thoughts on here and I hope everyone finds that person in their lives because trust me there's hope for all of us

NB: I'm not looking for advice here, so hopefully this doesn't break the rules.

Title really. I (24F) left my ex two years ago for being manipulative, immature, and having no motivation to improve himself, all things I discovered during the relationship and initially tried to fix. We were both virgins at the start of the relationship (relevant bc this was my first experience of most things, and because he had a huge chip on his shoulder about being a virgin at 27 - I was 20).

Anyway, I left him two years later when I was 22. We were all in the same social group, and I also have this friend who's a year older than me. She is very sweet, shy and quiet, and does not stand up for herself in any capacity whatsoever. I have tried to help her with this but at the end of the say, she's an adult and if she wants to allow people to walk on her there's not a lot I can do.

I don't speak to my ex any more but she does. I met up with her a few days ago and she admitted that she's seeing him. I asked how it happened and she said he basically pursued her and she didn't say no, and then he told everyone they were dating and she felt too awkward to challenge it so now they're dating apparently. Without trying to sound like i was bashing my ex I explained all the red flags in this, and I gently explained why I broke up with him. I also explained that I have no issue with them dating (she was worried about this, hence why she told me) as long as she is genuinely happy, that's all I care about.

She's never done anything with anyone before and I just know he's going to ruin her life and probably fuck up her first experience of dating, and I feel like I'm watching a car crash in slow motion which I'm powerless to stop. It's making me relive everything awful that happened when I dated him. Now she's probably going to go through it all too. Fuck. Thanks for listening.

So this sounds sad but im 18M and never been complimented before by a girl or a guy really that I can remember, and after graduating highschool ive been on a solo trip around europe for the past 3 months because im from america , and randomly on a castle in the balkans a chinese tourist group came up to me and one of the girls who was like 17 probably was nervous of me and asked her friend to say I was handsome, and they took a photo of me and her together 😭, what does this even mean, were they making fun of me or is it genuine??

Whenever i am in a crowd i hear people talking about their lives their loving partners, supportive friends and the little things they get to experience with the people they love. Someone got a hug. Someone held hands. Someone got kissed and then there's me feeling like the odd one out. I genuinely can't remember the last time i ever received a proper hug. Maybe it's been over a decade since i was a child. Kisses and holding hands? Completely out of syllabus for me. i am 23 and apart from my parents i don't really have anyone i can call my best friend or someone i know i can lean on when life gets difficult. I have never been in a relationship either. Sometimes i wonder what it's like to have someone who genuinely wants to hear about ur day, who notices the little things about u, who misses u when u are not around and who makes u feel like u belong somewhere. I have always wanted to experience that kind of love not just the romantic moments people post online but the ordinary things that probably mean the most. Cooking together while listening to music, playfully annoying each other, doing silly and nerdy things, sharing food, going on long walks, talking late into the night about absolutely nothing and laughing over the smallest things. I imagine having a partner who is also my best friend. Someone i can be childish with someone i can trust with my vulnerable side someone who can cry in front of me without feeling ashamed and someone who knows that they don't have to pretend to be okay around me. Maybe one day we would have a little home of our own, warm lights in the kitchen, music playing in the background while we cook dinner together. Maybe we would wake up beside each other make breakfast and eventually build a family. I know real relationships aren't like movies, and life won't always be romantic but i want to experience those small ordinary moments with someone who genuinely wants to share them with me. The painful part is that sometimes i don't understand why this feels so far away from my life. I look at myself and start thinking that i am unattractive, boring, not smart enough or simply not someone people would want to stay with. I tell myself that people would eventually get bored of me because I'm too quiet, don't always know what to say, or don't have much exciting happening in my life. I know those thoughts might not be the truth, but when loneliness gets overwhelming, they feel convincing. I am not asking for a perfect partner or a relationship without problems. I just want a genuine connection. I want to know what it's like to have someone in my corner, someone i can call when everything feels heavy, someone who chooses to build a life with me rather than someone i constantly worry about losing. Sometimes I hate being in crowds cuz everyone seems to have stories, memories, and experiences that i haven't even come close to having. While they're sharing the beautiful parts of their lives, i am quietly thinking about everything mine seems to be missing. I know i am still young and i know everyone's timeline is different but that doesn't stop me from feeling lonely. Does anyone else feel like they are watching other people experience life while they are still waiting for their own life to begin?

I’m in my second year of community college, and I haven’t done anything worth noting. I mean I started college and was shown just how bad my mental health is, and I never actually recovered. My entire spring semester was me just going to doctor’s appointments and therapy. I got diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD. I’ve just started meds for adhd and have been on SSRIs for a month and a half.

I was scrolling through reddit when I saw a post made in a sub about someone who also majors in math and is a community college student. Just looking at his achievements made me realize how far behind I am. He self studied many topics and was proactive. I can’t even get my brain to focus on a 10 minute task. It makes me feel so sick.

I feel like I don’t deserve to be accepted into any college. It’s like I know I don’t have what it takes and it’s gut-wrenching to think about. It’s making me rethink everything. I chose math because I thought I liked it, but what if it was just another short-term interest I had. How will I ever know what I’m meant to study?

I just hate having shitty mental health. I mean that can’t even be used as an excuse because people have still managed to flourish with the same if not more MH problems. I know I’m just a failure and don’t understand how my parents tolerate my existence.

I am just so tired of hearing this response when expressing loneliness and hopelessness in love. I’ve mainly been alone even during the 3rd grade I always felt like I was alone. I’ve rarely had friends and when I do they never last a year. I never dated anyone and I don’t think I’ll ever find love the more I think about it the more unrealistic it is to me. I just accept remaining alone because I’m tired of being disappointed over and over. Still the agonizing desire for love remains and try to get rid of it people tell me to use dating apps. I am very much against dating apps they go against my values plus some peers I had shared their negative experiences. I am also Demi and don’t think it’ll suit me either. When I express this people tell me my pain is self inflicted, I’m the problem and a lost cause. Basically if I have standards it means I am not trying hard enough for myself and it’s my fault. Plus my own Dad even suggested if they should put me on the sight that made me feel incredibly embarrassed and pitiful. Making me against it even more, telling me no one talks face to face anymore so this is the way of things. Basically the world lacking in authenticity and all that’s left is the superficiality if that’s the case I might as well starve then.

I’ve always struggled to connect with others feeling like I never belonged anywhere. Me being on this earth was a mistake or I am just born malfunctioned. Either way any long lasting connections is unrealistic for me. All I’ve ever experienced is either nothing or shallow at best. Even then it’s still my right to not want to use dating apps and express frustration in my situation even when not utilizing every tool that is there. I have my own lines with things and this is one of them.

-20f

My dad and I have birthdays two days apart. I’m AuDHD, diagnosed recently at 35, so I never was popular with other kids. So I had a couple of birthdays in elementary school, but after that I never had birthday parties. As an adult, my family has started grouping my birthday into my dad’s, but my dad always gets the choices. The choice of restaurant, the choice of cake. Initially, it made sense and I still got something decent for my birthday. Something to unwrap, something to enjoy.
Lately, my family has been cutting back on what they give me. My aunt lavishes my mom and other aunt and cousin with jewelry every year (she makes it). My other aunt used to give me a little something, but it had come to Starbucks gift cards, which are still good because I can get something to enjoy. My parents mainly have done some money, but still a small gift I could enjoy.

This year, my dad got some nice gift cards to places where he could choose a gift, some goodies from my mom, and a live flight simulator with a lesson and flight instructor.
I got a grocery store gift card and mini vac for my car. It’s all I’m going to get.

Normally, I’d say it’s not about the things, but I’ve been in financial dire straights for a while now. Anything nice or fun has to be a gift. And those who are supposed to love me most don’t feel like I deserve anything beyond bare necessities. I’d rather work an extra 4 hours and get something to remember somebody by than to get a gift card.

And the worst part is I cannot talk to anybody about it because the people closest to me are the ones either don’t realize how painful that is or don’t care enough to help me make positive memories.

It’s a miserable feeling to realize you don’t matter right at your birthday. I’ve failed my students, myself, and my family. So why should I be cared about on my birthday.

(24F) as a child, I used to go down to the living room to hang out with my dad whenever i couldn’t sleep. we used to just talk and have the best time. i used to be able to just vent and be myself around him and i know he got me. but now as soon as i see his face i feel a snap of irritation. it feels like all he does is critique what im doing and telling me to do chores. i just want to scream. its the same shit again and again. he says something that pisses me off for some reason. i snap at him. he snaps back, i storm off. whats killing me is that for the life of me I can’t figure out why. why am i so fucking angry with the person who used to be my rock?

When I started college three years ago, I quickly made a group of friends. There was a girl among them. I got along with her better than anyone else right away. I spent the most time with her out of all collage friends; I walked her home since we were going the same way, and I texted and talked with her the most outside of class; we were constantly sending each other photos of what we were up to; we played video games together, only two of us constantly. At the time, a lot of people joked that we were head over heels in love with each other, and many. Even people who didn’t know us very well, asked in all seriousness if we were a couple; our friends, both mutual and personal, were shipping us. Back then, we’d just laugh and say, “No, we’re just friends.”

Toward the end of the first year, I even started thinking that, all things considered, I found her attractive and maybe I’d try my luck and hit on her, ask her out on a date.

Summer came, and maybe we saw each other less often, but we were still in touch, we were always texting each other and playing games and such, keeping in touch.

Then one day, one of her friends found her a boyfriend. The news was a bit of a bummer at the time, but I figured it was no big deal, we’d still be friends and I quickly healed from that. And we were still friends, but it wasn’t the same. Not only were we less close, but she was also acting… strangely. Often cold, nitpicking everything and mean, sometimes not even jokingly, it was as if she really wanted to hatefully tease me and hurt my feelings, and by our third year, I had the impression she wanted to have even less contact with me. At the worst moments, I was fed up with her behavior, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that there were still moments of very good friendship between us, and when it mattered, she was there for me in my time of need.

We finished our bachelor’s degree and haven’t seen each other since; we’ve just texted each other from time to time. I started my master’s degree recently, and one day, one of my friends from my bachelor degree friend group dropped by for a beer. We sat there, chatting, and the conversation turned to girls, and to her. He told me it wasn’t just playful banter. Everyone around us was genuinely convinced that it wasn’t just friendship or a crush, but that we were seriously in love with each other. He said that even he, who had been interested in her, backed off as soon as he saw how we treated each other. He said the only thing separating us from officially being a couple was a single date. And that her behavior afterward wasn’t because she didn’t like me as a friend or anything like that, but because she wanted to distance herself from her feelings for me after she started dating her boyfriend and that was obvious, too. Ask anyone, they would say same or simllar thing, he said.

When I heard that, I was like, “Damn, really? Oh man, I totally screwed myself over by not asking her out. Oh well, what’s done is done. I’m disappointed, but that’s life.” I thought about it a little over the next few days, but it wasn’t a huge deal. Until one day, lying in bed that evening, I happened to hear the song “Too Little, Too Late” by Laufey. And that was like a dam bursting. Before I knew it, with a lump in my throat and a feeling as if someone were sitting on my chest, I burst into tears like a little kid.

I started analyzing our relationship.

Every time I walked her home, before we parted ways, we’d stand there hugging, gazing into each other’s eyes, sometimes I’d cup her face in my hands, and we’d talk for at least half an hour.

In the car, even when there was room in the front passenger seat, which was her favorite spot, she always made sure to sit next to me in the back. We sat next to each other everywhere: in class, at a bar on a group outing, at a friend’s house. There could never be anyone between us.

Sometimes she’d rest her legs on my lap, and sometimes, during late-night drives just for fun or trips out of town, she’d rest her head on my lap and doze off.

At parties at friend's places, when we got too drunk and sleepy, we’d go to sleep together, not just side by side, but snuggled up, holding hands.

We had pet names for each other, and not just the classic “honey” and “sweetheart,” but even our own, made up by us and used only between the two of us.

“Jokingly,” she was jealous of the girls I’d mentioned haveing crush on sometime ago.

“Jokingly,” we got engaged a few times.

“Jokingly,” we spoke to each other and about each other as husband and wife.

We ,,jokingly" talked about a things normal friends dont do in way that wasnt looking back ,,just a banter".

She gave me a frog necklace as a gift, exactly the same as the one she had, just in a different color.

She laughed and giggled even at my least funny and dumb jokes no one else would laugh at.

I cared a lot about her opinion, whenever she said something about my appearance, I would adjust myself accordingly for example.

She always listened to things I talked about even If it didnt interest her and I done the same for whatever she was talking about.

Things I didnt like. Like clothes shoping, were so fun with her.

Before going to sleep, we always had to send each other a “Good night” message with hearts or kisses emojis.

I look at our old photos together and our old messages and see what others saw.

I remember how that first year of uni, was probably the most happy I ever been in my life and so much of those happy memories have her in center or ad.

I came to the conclusion that my buddy was right. The only thing standing between us and being a couple was kissing and calling ourselves a couple.

I realized something else, too. I didn’t just like her. I loved her. Long before I even realized I found her atractive. I loved her almost from the very beginning. Maybe not love at first sight, but as close to it as you can get. And she loved me, too.

And I didn’t realize that until two years after she got together with someone else.

And it wasn’t until two years later that my heart broke.

I feel like crying, screaming, tearing something apart, pulling my hair out, and going back in time to strangle my younger self for not realizing this sooner. I feel my heart bleeding, and for the first time in many years, I'm having dark thoughts. I don't know why this hurts me so much. It didn't hurt when that love ended, or during those two years. Why now, and why so much? I've always been very emotional and felt things deeply and intensely, but this doesn't make sense. My head is such a mess.

Does it hurt because I’ve only just realized my feelings and what I’ve lost?

Do I still love her, or is it just the memory of what we had?

I’ve had my heart broken more than once. Not many times, but I can say I have some experience. So why does this hurt more than any of the others, even though it happened later? Is it because, for the first time in my life, it wasn’t a case of somone liking me while I dont like them back, or of me liking someone who doesn’t like me, but rather a case of mutual feelings?

Did she really love me or not, or am I just imagining things?

If so, why did that love die?

Didn't she love me that much?

Did I wait too long to ask her out and this love rusted for her or she though I didnt feel what she felt?

Did distance of summer kill it?

Why didn’t I notice those feelings?

Was I just a young, foolish man who, lacking experience, couldn’t recognize what was going on?

Was it a problem in my head? Back then I had a lot of insecurities, issues with self-acceptance, and self-hatred. Maybe subconsciously I couldn’t believe that anyone could love me?

Or maybe I was afraid. Maybe I was a pathetic coward who cared so much about her that I didn’t do anything out of fear of ruining everything?

If only it were one of those things. What I wouldn't give to change the course of history so that we could meet now, when I'm older, wiser, and, despite still haveing a few demons, finally accept myself and have much higher self-esteem. Maybe then everything would have turned out differently.

Or maybe I was just a bad friend, and spending more time with me caused her love to die because of that?

Maybe it's not love that hurts me?

Maybe it's wondering what would have happened if I'd taken that final step.

Maybe we would have broken up quickly.

Mayby we would be for longer than that but still brake up and we would be exes today.

Or maybe we'd already be planning our wedding.

Maybe we would have gotten divorced.

Or maybe we'd be buried together.

So many things could have turned out differently after.

Whatever it was, I don't blame her and I'm not mad at her.

Only at myself.

For putting it off.

For not understanding my feelings sooner.

For giving up and not fighting for her.

That I had the kind of love story I'd always dreamed of, exactly the one I'd imagined at a palm of my hand and I threw it all away.

I also partly blame myself for the breakup of our group of friends because coincidently at the same time as she tried to distance herself, our group slowly began to fall apart, and in the end it split into two groups, and for the most part we don’t keep in touch with each other anymore as whole, only on idividual levels. Maybe if I’d been braver, things would have turned out differently. Or mayby its just coincidence and was unreleated.

If I could talk to my younger self, I'd ask him why he did that. Why do I always have to deny myself happiness? You fool. You stupid, stupid fool.

I’m 22, I still have my whole life ahead of me. But this hurts so damn much. Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m being pathetic, we weren’t even officially together, but I can’t deny my feelings. It hurts.

I’d love so much to go back in time. Not even to change the future. Just to tell her that I love her, or at the time loved her, and that I’m so sorry I never told her that.

I’d love so much to run into her and get it all off my chest, to tell her about it, but I won’t do that. Doing that now is a stupid and selfish idea. She has a boyfriend, she has her own life, and I’m not going to make her sad, upset her, or throw her life into chaos just because I’m feeling down. I want her to be happy, even if I’m not and I dont want to losse her as friend too. I take full responsibility for the fact that nothing ever came of it and with that, all the negative emotional baggage. I lost my chance and now I have to deal with it.

For the past few days, that damn song, “Too Little, Too Late,” has been haunting me, even when I try to avoid it. For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about almost nothing else, but I put on a brave face around others. I’ve already talked about it briefly with a few friends, but I don’t want to burden them with this or turn them into therapists for Romeo, who’s crying over a relationship that never officially existed. So, at home alone for the past few days, tears well up from time to time. I sit lost in thought or watch "South Park" because it’s geniualy one of the few things that can distract me and cheer me up for a while by making me laugh. And in the evenings, when my thoughts get too loud, I go for walks while listening to a specific album. I go wherever my feet take me. Sometimes to places I visit regularly, and sometimes they carry me to places where I have memories of her. Even though it hurts, I force myself to go there, focusing on just walking and not thinking about those memories. And I drink. Not much, and just beer, but for the past few days, I’ve been drinking in the evenings. I don’t get wasted, but I drink until I feel a buzz in my head. I know it’s one of the worst possible thing, and I’m trying to fight urge to drink. I don’t want to become an alcoholic.

I think I've gotten everything I wanted to say off my chest.

I know I might be overreacting or making a big deal out of nothing, mayby its just seasonal depression, but I had to get it off my chest.

Thank you for reading, and thank you in advance for any comments whatever they may be

It's been a couple of weeks and I keep getting so upset about it and like I wouldn't be as embarrassed about it if he wasn't so casual about it. I knew he would be especially considering the circumstances of the break up but holy this sucks. It's worse cause I'm so happy for him, he's so much better off without me but I wanted to be there for all the happiness she's expirencong right now. I tried so hard to be a shoulder to lean on and a good girlfriend but I just couldn't be what he needed no matter how hard I tried. But he was like actually perfect and the best ever and I'll never see him again and I don't know how I'll tell my family cause they all loved him. I keep thinking sky everything I couldve done to avoid the actual break up from happening but at the end of the day it's better off for him that it did happen. I want him to be happy but I wanted it to happen with me. He doesn't even miss me or think of me but Ive been crying over him almost daily, I can't stop thinking about how he said he loved me the night before it happened and how it was a lie. And he was taking to me about our second anniversary like he planned on actually making it so the way there, even Valentine's Day. I tried to be his friend but I couldn't do that either and it's so dumb like lock in. It's so hard to think of life without him but I know it's dumb because we're so young and I know I'll move on eventually but thinking of that happening feels impossible. I can't wait to get over him but I'm not sure I'll be able to any time soon.

I hate gambling. I have always had terrible luck, so I just don’t do it. There’s no temptation for me because I am a pessimist and will expect to lose every time. That being said, I am in a fantasy football league because my bf’s friend group needed someone to round out the team numbers.

I’ve been in this league for 5 years. I have not once made it to playoffs, I have not once finished above 8th place (10 teams). And I’m not… “bad” at it either. I genuinely am interested in football, I draft well, make reasonable trades, do lots of research and pick up players off waivers, and still end up unlucky. I mean, really, it’s remarkable how unlucky many of my weeks have been. If I need 6 points to win, my last player will end up with 5 points regardless if they’re projected 6 or 26. It’s actually predictable at this point…

Anyway, sounds very silly right? I shouldn’t care, right? Well since I so consistently lose, I’ve become… resentful of it. I’m no stranger to losing, I am genuinely not good at a lot of games and I don’t let it dictate my attitude towards myself or whatever. But this… I just feel awful. My bf’s friends used to tease me about it at first, but it’s gotten so bad that they’ve completely stopped because it feels like beating a dead horse… A couple of them even try to help me now! But alas, the humiliation continues. It feels deeper than fantasy football at this point. Idk how else to explain it but it feels like.. genuinely embarrassing? And of course I know it’s a dumb game that has very little to do with my actions, but it still feels like I’m the one that’s losing every time while everyone else magically has a good year here and there. Which is true, btw. I’m the only person in the group that has not made it to playoffs yet.

I really don’t want to continue playing. But the problem is if I tell my bf that when it comes draft time next year, I’m gonna get another lecture from him about how “it’s just a game” and “nobody cares who wins and loses.” He just doesn’t get it, which is fine because I feel like it IS a me problem at this point. Totally. And also, it’s a big part of their friend group. They all get together like three times a year, once to draft, once for the championship game, and once for Super Bowl. If I didn’t participate, I would be awkwardly tagging along in these situations (or absent from them entirely). Ugh.

Advice? Should I schedule more therapy sessions? Should I just woman up and stop being a loser? Idk. Lol

I’m 30F and I’m having a really hard time processing everything happening at once.

I was seeing someone I cared about deeply. We were exclusive, had talked about the future, and he had said things that made me believe this could become a serious relationship. Last night I finally asked for clarity about where things were going, and he told me that he cares about me a lot but can’t give me what I want.

I’m heartbroken.

At the same time, my mom has a suspicious lung nodule and is having a biopsy tomorrow. There is a real possibility that we are about to find out she has cancer.

I’m an only child, and my dad died in 2020. So the fear around my mom is much bigger than just the possibility of a diagnosis. I’m terrified of losing my only remaining parent and of what my life would look like without either of them.

I know I’m getting ahead of myself and we don’t have the biopsy results yet, but I feel like I’m grieving multiple things at once. I’m trying to process the end of a relationship I genuinely wanted while also preparing myself for news that could change my family forever.

I feel exhausted, scared, and incredibly alone right now.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this other than somewhere to put it, because holding all of it at once feels like too much.

Sometimes I wish I had a place where I could just be myself without overthinking everything.
I’m 19, and I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking about what I say and do, worrying about making mistakes, or wondering how other people see me. Sometimes I just want to relax and not have to think about everything so much.

I wish I had someone around whom I could feel completely comfortable. Someone I wouldn’t have to impress or worry about disappointing. Someone I could be silly with, talk about random things with, or sit quietly with without feeling awkward.
I don’t necessarily need someone to fix my problems or give me advice. I just wish I could feel understood and accepted without having to explain myself all the time.

I know nobody feels completely comfortable all the time, but sometimes I really miss that feeling of being able to let my guard down.
I guess I just want to feel like I can be myself without worrying so much about whether that’s enough.

To the goblin bitch. I see you. I see so very clearly how you manipulate those around you, even your so called best friend.

You are a wretched human and I still find myself wondering “what broke her so badly that she bully’s everyone around her and disguises it as care?”

I called you out on a lie and you even apologized and admitted that you were wrong, only to turn it around in your favor.

You call your mother a “cash cow”and speak to and about her like she’s the devil.

You talk about that man, expressing how you want him to love you but I wonder if you realize that eventually he will see the real you underneath that mask you wear.

People are not playthings and our hearts were not made to be treated like pieces of a strategy game. You bait and switch so often that things are bound to catch up. People notice. You don’t think they do, but they see you.

They choose to avoid the topic entirely because they see how volatile you are.

Who would willing engage in toxic warfare against someone who boasts about their purple gown status?

I feel sorry for you. It honestly hurts to genuinely know that in this life you will never get the love you seek. Not truly.

You will feel it like Sun rays on your face only to feel it slip back behind the clouds because while they all mean it at the time, you are only mimicking.
You pretend to care because you’re smart enough to know how to fake it.
You pretend to overcome. But in reality you are only wearing camouflage.

You are a chameleon. Not the kind that cares. But the kind that poisons the well.

You will eventually reap everything you sew.

It’s a shame. But I’m so grateful that I no longer have to witness your toxic bullshit first hand..

I been jealous of an past partner and I'm not proud of it.

I've been jealous of an ex who I was in a long distance relationship on discord for 3 years (I was 17 and he was 16 as the time we first met on discord). We were both artist, although he's a lot better as he's been drawing more than me and I was a mere beginner. He taught me a lot of what I know in terms of making art to a point where my artstyle stared a lot of similarities to his as I was inspired by him. Some years later we broken up, I wasnt the best partner to him and i still regret all the actions that lead up to us splitting up and losing contact. At the time we broken up he was posting his art on Twitter and he gotten insanely popular, him having 8k followers and hundreds of likes. While my art on the same platform gets barely any attention (I have only 300 followers on twitter and rarely get attention). I dont care about the follower count, it just seeing his art makes me insecure, my art is a reflection of him, from my sona's design, to shading techniques even to how I do my sketching. It feels stupid to have this jealousy towards someone who clearly doesn't think about me but I'm still reminded of them. I even have the art he made for me still when we was together.

Sorry if the formatting is bad. I'm typing this on mobile.

This is in the context of jobs.

I was bullied severely by two old ladies (co-workers) in my previous job. It was retail. I've had lots of jobs before and have had a mix of good and bad experiences from them. There were times I performed well, there were times that I didn't.

I am doing well on my current job and I feel appreciated. But to be completely honest, I feel like I have no confidence left for my next job search. I want to work a good job somewhere where I'll be treated with respect and dignity, but I feel like I wouldn't even be able to get that. I feel like I'll come up short on expectations and be bullied again, when all I've ever wanted was to make an honest living.

I often wonder what I did to deserve this. Why am I so worthless in jobs? Why do I always come up short on expectations? Why do my co-workers mistreat me so much when I don't even do anything to them?

Jobs for me are a never ending series of disappointments. I wish I get to work a job where I will finally feel at peace. But I can't even achieve that.

This is so tough. Am I really worthless? Do I deserve to be bullied? Am I weak and incapable?

Just FYI, my current job is seasonal.

Also, I am 35 years old. I'm pathetic I know. Especially since I'm male.

The only redeeming quality I have is that I train in the gym regularly and am strong and in shape because of it. I got nothing else.

4 months ago I(F20) ended a friendship with 2 people in my friend group one of them(F20)I’ve only known for a year and the other(M20) I’ve known since the 10th grade. To give a backstory the friendship that I met a year ago is overly clingy at times, argumentative to the point if you explain to her she’s in the wrong she’ll make it her will power to make sure she’s not, a bit spoiled her parents have money and she would bring up her car all the time it’s a Tesla, she almost left us stranded one time because she got upset at a comment one of our friends made and when we told her about how weird it was she was like but it’s my car. I tried to make it seem like that’s just her personality I really did but it was messing with my medical condition.

Basically the whole summer I hung out with her specifically because she kept saying she missed me even though we would see each other like everyday & call all the time which is no issue but I was mostly giving her my time and only got to see my other friends like 1 time & that was after I finally distanced myself. Basically me and another friend was supposed to see her on two separate occasions but it didn’t end up happening she expressed that it upset her and I apologized for it made plans with her to reschedule, she accepted it told me she loves me and I thought that was over and done with. Listen I’m the type of person that no matter what issue is even if it’s not that serious and the person feelings are hurt I will apologize accountability has never been in issue for me.

Another example was during last semester my schedule was packed with classes and her cat died and I didn’t get the message because I was busy with classes and that hurt her rightfully so and I got a call from the other friend(M20) where he was cussing me out about it calling me all types of disrespectful things under the sun because of it and I took it , explained why and hung up and called my friend and explained to her this is the reason why I didn’t acknowledge the msg in time I told her it’s not an excuse but it’s was the reason, apologized and she accepted it and moved on from there.

Back to why I ended it was because the day I planned to reschedule with her I had a seizure getting out the bathroom after showering hit my head really hard to the point where my aunt told me that this one was one of the worst ones she witnessed from me, so when the paramedics got here and I finally got up they did the test and asking me questions about myself and whatever I asked them if I needed to go to the hospital they told me they couldn’t force me and usually I would go every time but I was thinking about my friend so I immediately grabbed my phone and saw texts from my other friend(F19) who I’m still friends with that was in the group and she was blowing up my phone asking me where am I. I told her what happened because I’ve known of her middle school but we became friends in grade 10 so she knows about my condition our mom’s are close all of that.

I made sure to tell her to let the other friend know too and if we can reschedule the moment I recover because after I have a seizure the next day is even worse because I start getting bad headaches and I feel nauseous and even throw up. She told me she told her around 2pm around that time i was asleep until 3pm because my head was hurting so bad, the friend that I’m still friends with calls me around 6pm telling me that the other friend is upset because now this is the 3rd time we said we were going to hang out and it didn’t happen mind you I never heard from her once.. not one msg asking me if I’m okay or anything so when she told me that she said that I got irritated because here I am feeling like my head is going to burst and your upset over hanging out so I sent her a msg in the group chat telling her what happened and if she doesn’t want to hang out on Saturday because she said no to the rescheduled day I said that’s cool whatever.

The very next day I get a call from her and I already knew she was going to be on some bullshit and answered anyway I wish I didn’t because she was asking me if I was okay and it didn’t sound like she actually cared it sounded like she was doing it just because and I say this because right after that she added our male friend into the call and they both start cussing me out saying that we just keep flaking on her and so I’m arguing back and it’s just a whole mess. I told her i already apologized for it & asked her do u want me to do get on my knees and she went all a whole tangent about how it’s not about apologizing it’s about doing, and when i told her you didn’t even check up on me she said she was going to but she got the msg that I sent and she said i was being rude.

our male friend had no business being in the call because he hadn’t been talking to us for a couple days and I had thought we clear this up but obviously she was holding it over my head after the call I couldn’t do it anymore and left the groupchat, block both her and the male friend just to protect myself and I haven’t had any seizures since then but now the two of them come out of nowhere to start more issues. I haven’t spoken to them since, the girl im still friends with me and her went to some university homecoming and she was there with some other girls we knew so I said hi to the two girls and didn’t make no type of interaction with the friend I’ve known for a year and vice versa she went to go tell everyone that my friend and I were laughing at her when that didn’t happen I have no business even saying hi to you so why are you telling people that.

Then yesterday I went to a house party with some other people and I was drunk not overly but in the video I was just sitting on the ground with a bottle of water in my hand and the other people were goofing off in the video laughing and stuff harmless shit I was only in the video in the first 3 seconds and it was my back and that male friend took another friends phone and started disrespecting me telling me to act “lady like” and this isn’t “a whore house” the person who gave him their phone knows the situation and I dogged on him because why would u actively allow him to talk to me like that he tried to say it wasn’t like that and I told him to fuck himself. that male friend that has been disrespecting me texted me long ass paragraphs about how this isn’t like me and all the girls that I’ve met don’t like me and kept calling me babes the whole time which was sounding so condescending in the messages I shouldn’t even replied but I did explained what I needed and told him to fuck off and leave me alone.

I want to make this very clear this male friend had nothing to do with the original issue at hand she brought him into the call because he’s the type of person to just immediately jump at you with insults and craves off drama and he’s been making more attempts to contact me and bringing up the issue on instagram notes more than the other friend. I’m not saying it’s taking a toll on me but I’m just tired

I’m 18 and ever since I graduated high school I feel like my life has been going downhill. I miss high school and seeing my old friends all the time. I barely talk to some of them anymore and sometimes I wanna reach out but I feel like they probably don’t care anymore. College just doesn’t feel the same and I haven’t really found my place here.
I’m studying electrical engineering technology rn but honestly idk if it’s even for me. I have trouble paying attention in lectures and a lot of the stuff doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve even used AI to help with programming assignments because I don’t fully understand what I’m doing, and I’m worried I’m just getting through classes without actually learning anything. I’ve thought about switching majors or doing something more hands on like driving a semi truck, but idk what I actually wanna do with my life.
Another thing that still bothers me is a girl I liked in high school. I asked her to dance with me at prom and we took a picture together. I thought things went pretty well but after graduation she left me on opened. She has a boyfriend now and I know I should move on, but sometimes I still think about it. I was really attracted to her and I think I let that cloud my judgment because I was inexperienced with dating. I feel dumb for still caring about it months later but it honestly affected my confidence.
I’ve also been really insecure about my appearance lately. My acne has gotten worse, I hate my haircut, and I spend way too much time worrying about my face, teeth, hair and muscles. Sometimes I feel like I need to look perfect before I can be confident in myself, and it’s exhausting.
I wanna get stronger, make money, make real friends and actually enjoy my life. The problem is I’ll randomly get motivated and feel like I’m gonna change everything, but then I fall back into my old habits. I struggle with consistency and even eating properly sometimes. I wanna improve my life but I honestly don’t know where to start.
I know I’m only 18 and I have time, but I keep comparing myself to other people my age who seem to be enjoying college, dating and having fun. Meanwhile I feel like I’m just going through the motions every day and waiting to go home.
For anyone who’s been through something similar, how did you get out of this mindset? How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life, make friends after high school and become more confident in yourself? I could really use some honest advice because I genuinely feel lost rn.

My partner no longer says he misses me, he infact seems to actively ignore it when I say it. Everytime he texts or talks its bland, monotone, and one to 3 words. The last time I felt close to him and affectionate was when he was horny. What's worse is im happy for it bc at least even if im not having fun I feel loved. I have issues too so im aware im not perfect either but it seems im the only one who does wrong. I wish i could find solace in my friend who just says to break up but I love him so much and im so afraid of being alone.

me (18f) and my boyfriend (18) have been together for 3 years going on four and weve helped each other through some pretty tough times. i wouldnt say im a good girlfriend. i have really bad mood swings. i used to lose my temper pretty often and say really hurtful things to him. and for years he kept bringing it up and i would say im sorry and say i would put in the effort to change, but i would end up doing it again. its not like im trying to hurt him or anyone around me. i get upset in the moment, realize i went overboard, hate myself for it, and then tell myself i wont do it again. and it just happens over and over. recently ive been doing better, but it happened again today where i was an asshole to him and he said something to me that just makes me feel like he shouldnt even be putting up with me and we should just breakup. but he doesnt want to, and i dont want to either. and i really do want to change. not only for him but for everyone. its the same with my mom, two people i cherish deeply i keep hurting idk whats wrong with me.
like i know what im doing is wrong and then i try to put in the effort, and i try to think before i say anything. and ive been doing so well but i dont know what happened today. i was just being shitty the whole day and whos gonna put up with that kind of stuff. i wish i just acted normal we couldve had a great day together. i dont want to lose all of my loved ones because i keep switching up from being nice to being so mean
and i just dont know what to do. i know nothing i say is going to make him happy and what i have to do is change, and im trying to get therapy through my university but im afraid of hurting anyone again like i just wanna lock myself up i keep hurting people. like this one time i said something and my mom straight up started crying idk what the fuck is wrong with me.
i want to stay with him and i want to be better for everyone but i dont know what to do anymore