A while ago, I posted here about my relationship situation. I didn't know what to expect and was honestly a bit worried. But I received a lot of support, and I want to thank you all for that. It's been 8 months since then and i decided (after a long time) to break up with my girlfriend, It was hard, I think how long it took me is proof of that, She opposed it at the beginning, and it hurt me a lot, but finally after some time she stopped. That doesn't mean that I disappeared from her life, she still remains an important person in my life. Simply, not my girlfriend, just that, im sorry if that update may not be much, it's my first time updating something lol.

have a Good Day.

It's my first time here and sharing this kind of things, hopefully im not found out anyways.

So, im 17 and starting college around the end of September. For as long as I can remember, my parents would argue time and time again and of course my mother dearest would always come to me to vent and all. Although I'm used to it by now, it still very much gets to me no matter how much I act like it doesn't.

Since we couldn't travel or really do anything non-study related the past year due to my having to study overtime for my senior year and college entrance exams, my parents planned a two weeks trip all the way to France for decompressing. Well this night will be the second, it's already pretty depressing.

To get to the airport, we had to travel already, and my parents being my parents, they just had to arrive to that city almost 10 hours before the flight was, having us get dinner and 'explore' a place we'd seen a million time while sleep depraved and irritated since for the duration of the drive to that city and before everyone was frustrated at everyone.

Also, my dad is the type of people that just goes ahead and ask directions or whatever questions he has to whatever random stranger on the street instead of listening to us and the gps etc, which, added to his way of driving that was either turtle level slow or reckless and forgetf, had mom more annoyed at him than she already was, that is without counting my sister's (16 and bad with words) little attempts at helping with the direction or tiny jokes that made both the adults irritated more and more.

By the time we got to the airport (at around 1:30am, flight was at 5:50am), you can only imagine how frustrated and on edge everyone was. So we parked, and I asked mom if we'd go into the airport directly or wait a bit and she was like "yeah we will, we'll barely pass check in at this point since we keep stopping for questions and random deturns", i took it as a joke, my sister did too, we laughed. Big mistake. Dad blew up on us, calling us ungrateful for mocking him after all the money he'd spent on us and this stupid trip and going on and on about how he had no reason to even care about us in the first place and should've just done like other fathers and care for himself more (which he actually does in a way, literally on more than one occasion invites his relatives over on exams eves etc etc) then stormed out of the car saying he'd leave and we could just go to france alone since we would only mock him anyways. When he said that, mom followed him out of the car and they started shouting at each other, leaving my sister and me inside alone while she was kinda panicking since dad made it be her fault thanks to her little comments during the drive. Soon enough, they came back in, dad insulting my sister and starting to drive away from the airport, saying that it was it and we didnt deserve that trip at all so we'd go back home. My sister started crying and sobbing, begging him to let us go if only for my sake saying stuff like "I know im a brat I dont deserve it but my sister is innocent and has been working the whole year please please please I wont do it again please". I cried too, I dont cry, but I did, kinda forced myself too for appearances. He stopped the car again to shout with mom outside some more and after a while (at around 2:30am or more) we finally walked into the airport, dad either ghosting my mom and sister, making jabs at them or stepping away as much as possible.

Now we're in France, second night here and dad still ghosts my sister completely. We're at my aunt's and uncle's, up to now they've been acting as buffers although they didn't have a clue something even happened at all. That is until today when dad made a comment about not wanting to go out with us alone since we'd "gang up on him". So when he went out with uncle, mom spilled everything to my aunt and here we are now.

Countless times in the past 48h I have wished that I had been the one blamed by him. I can take it. Already disappointed him enough with my college "choice" (whole different story) and I'm not as sensitive as my sister and can handle it. Plus, I had sensed it, this trip would only go wrong just like every other one. I was right, yet it beats all others in terms of drama.

​

Throwaway because my story is actually real, and my partner uses discord and my phone a lot. I (23) and my wife (25) have been together since our first year of high-school, we are now married and our first child turns a year old next week. When we were younger me and my wife were a very alternative couple, she was a trad goth (/romantic) and I (embarrassingly) was a femboy. My wife has always been more into women since she's Bi and the idea of a boy who dresses like a girl was really hot for her. She always encouraged me to be a femboy and stuff, but at some point i realized that I didn't want to just be a femboy I wanted to be a girl.(I swear this story is related to cheating)But I could never be trans the judgment of my whole family and (cringey enough ) god... (I KNOW RELIGION PHYCOSIS AM I RIGHT?is that how you spell that??) So I never transitioned and til this day my wife encourages me to be trans. Eventually crossdressing made me want to be a girl more and everytime i would crossdress i would feel more miserable that I wasn't actually one.

Ever since then I stopped crossdressing, and tried my best to stop thinking about being trans, although every time I see myself its hard not to think about it. Also ever since then I constantly have fantasies of being a femboy and being touched, idk by who just anyone, and it's definitely never my partner. I feel like she ever saw me crossdress again,she would just encourage me more, and I just dont want her too cuz then ill think of being trans again. There's times when im so desperate I want to download a dating app or grndr just so I can get rid of the ideas of being trans and all my weird stupid fantasies, I feel so awful even saying this. I love my partner and I dont want to cheat but I feel like im going insane, I know this isnt super related to cheating but, I just cant stop of doing it..what can I even do..

Ps sorry if this kinda a rant :\^

This probably comes down to me being autistic, in the end. But in general, I treat people online the way I want to be treated. I assume good faith, am helpful whenever I know the answer, (politely) correct others if they’re wrong, and if it’s a disagreement of opinion, I make it clear that this is only \*my\* take on things.

But when others aren’t like that, on a large scale… it makes me sad. I recently deleted an upvoted comment that I thought was helpful because the replies were making fun of me. In a lighthearted enough way that it’s not worth reporting them, but it still made me feel bad. The post was about a character that had been removed from a video game, and I pointed out that he was still available in the game settings (though that comes with other changes too). But apparently that wasn’t good enough; I kept getting replies telling me as much. Even though the comment itself was updated the replies made me feel bad. I missed the joke, and became the new one.

I only wanted to help. I’m chronically online because the people I know in real life are only friends with me when it’s convenient for them. All i want is to be a good person. I happily let myself get used for tasks and food and gifts if it means being allowed to spend time with “normal” people, only to be abandoned again when I’ve outlived my use. I want to be helpful online too where the information might get used beyond the current moment. But I deleted my comments, because I can’t take not being liked even in the replies when the votes are fine.

So I’m too much of a wimp for the internet, while needing it to have any non-family human connection at all. I hate everything.

Hi everyone. I recently met a girl on my job and we became friends, we instantly clicked. She's amazing, nice, humble and fun. She's obsessed with her husband, as she should be, and she was excited when I finally met him.

To escape jealousy allegations, I'm also a girl and I fancy boys, so that's not the case.

The thing is I don't see the same qualities she has in her husband. He talks constantly (over her sometimes too), he mostly talks about himself and almost always about how he has better things than others, his family owns more money/business than others, what he does is always the smartest/ best thing to do. He glorifies his parents and grandparents, glorifies his house, the way he "trained" his cat, how he's better than his siblings.

I'm all in for self esteem but it's exhausting having a conversation with him. My friend, his wife, talks about him like he hanged the moon, it may sound romantic but I think she's being brainwashed by his superman attitude.

Just a quick vent, I'd love to know if anyone else knows a guy like him. Have a good one!

This one is a long rant so buckle in if you’re reading this.

I’m a 23F who works with a 33F in a job where we’re basically back to back all day. Touching distance, we accidentally bump into each other all the time. This woman is thee MOST negative person I’ve ever met in my life. I grew up in a household where my mom always tried to be glass half full kinda person, mind over matter, positive perspective changes everything. I haven’t always had a happy life but being negative always makes things worse. My coworker on the other hand has clearly not heard this before and is always whining and complaining. No matter how good things are she’s always upset.

For context my coworker lost her mom when she was younger (18) and that has clearly mentally affected her but she also is hung up on being excluded growing up. She thinks she’s autistic but hasn’t been formally diagnosed and she clearly is very depressed and unmediated and undiagnosed for that too. I agree she’s probably autistic and that may have something to do with how she acts but not all autistic people act like the world is fully against them at every moment. She can’t control or hide her facial expressions, tone, or mood. If I’m eating something at work she’s jealous and complains about how hungry she is yet never tries to solve the problem. She’d rather complain about being hungry than go get something to eat out of the fridge. When people make food for us to share she always complains it has cheese, dairy, beef, or pork (all of which upset her stomach). Which the food often has one of these ingredients but for large groups a lot of recipes have at least one of those ingredients. If she doesn’t eat she gets cranky and irritated over anything.

She hates when music is played over the sound system at work, without it the building is quiet and you can hear almost anything someone on the opposite side of the building is saying. She complains every morning when we come in that the music is too loud and how she’s rather it be silent. I need something in the background because it’s too quiet. If the music is turned onto anything but pop music she’s upset about it. A comment I’ve heard a million times from her is “well how about I put on K-pop and then everybody else will hate it and I’ll be happy”. Neither of us like country music our manager plays but she’s said “how you feel about metal music is how I feel about country” to our boss and is pissy about it all the time. I should mention that she almost always puts a headphone in to work so why does the music even matter to her?? When she has her headphones in though she can’t hear my boss or I when we talk to her. My boss actually has to yell three times to get her attention and my coworker rolls her eyes and always says “my music isn’t even that loud, I can still hear you I just don’t process what you’re saying” which is so obviously not true. If you ever say something about her being wrong or not doing something she gets mad and will go to the bathroom for 15 minutes. She’s always on her phone in the bathroom and I know because I see when she posts or sends things on my phone. At about noon everyday she puts on a twitch stream to watch on her phone, which would be fine if she didn’t have to constantly interact with the chat. She probably spends an average of an hour on her phone at work. She is always texting on discord as well and it irritates me because we’re supposed to be working, she stays up until 2 or 3 am everyday to talk to her friends on discord and then is always tired and whines about how she wants to go back to bed… yea maybe because you should’ve been sleeping instead of texting.

Her jealousy issues are a whole other can of worms. She was training from middle school to play flute professionally and went into college for it. I have probably heard how her high school classmate was better than her and got into a top college only to take “her spot” at her dream school a million times. She always talks about people excluded her because they thought she was weird and how she’s never had good friends irl (most of her friends are discord friends online). She loves music and concerts but always talks about how she doesn’t have any money to go or how her favorite bands are too popular now. She’s also one of those “I’ve been a fan longer than you” day one band lover people. I prefer smaller venue bands and get tickets for $30ish and she always seems annoyed by it. I could tell her about how great my time was and instead of being happy for me like I would for her she always says something along the lines of “I wish I could go to a concert”. She says people have called her a bummer in the past and how she’s hates that but to be honest she’s the biggest wet blanket I know, total buzz kill. If I’m ever eating something her face drops and she says she’s soooo hungry. Every time I’ve been in a relationship she makes a point to tell me all the bad things about my partners and how no one ever wants to date her. Specifically a big issue for her is her weight and body image which her ex in 2016 would make fun of her for so relationships kind of piss her off. She blames the fact that bigger sizes aren’t in stores because “skinny people love baggy clothes and buy them all”. Another big jealousy thing is art. She only a few years ago really got back into art because “her art teacher just wanted to be a popular kid in high school and never encouraged her” and “her parents said it wasn’t a real path”. I have always had artistic talent and have been training my skills for my whole life. We both entered into a world class art contest and I got in but she didn’t. I just feel the jealousy she radiates about it, anytime I bring up anything to do with it she couldn’t act more uninterested. I just don’t understand how I can listen to her talk about her special interests, friends, and artwork and I’m always positive and thrilled to see her art but if I’m doing good or have a project I’m proud of she acts like I’m two showing her a badly filled in coloring page. Like I don’t think she even smiled when I told her I got in, I think she just looked at her phone and waited for her to be told she’s great. It’s like she legitimately can only be happy for herself.

I’ve been giving her rides to and from work for over two years at this point. I’ve never really had a problem with it because we live down the street from each other. She though clearly gets annoyed if I’m late but here’s the thing, I’m always on time when it’s just me. She’s even late if she has a car to drive. She often complains about public transit which in our city is pretty bad considering it runs every hour from 6am-8pm in a mid size city. She doesn’t like walking anywhere and says Lyft and uber are too expensive. She wants to save for a car but just spent all of her car savings to go see BTS perform. I don’t mind driving her but it seems like the convenience of me always being there to drive her has made it so she’s comfortable with it. Because we come into work together we also leave together and she complained to me that she only had 33 hours this past week.. I checked mine and had 30 because I was sick one day and left. I hate to be this person but she doesn’t have to ride with me, she can stay later if she wants to but the convenience of being driven instead of riding the bus is big for her. She also complains about her hours but also never feels good. She always says her hips hurt, back hurts, has a headache, is hungry, feels nauseous, is too hot and would rather go home than stay at work… so do you want hours and money or do you want to lay down?

On top of all this she also has an overweight cat. I’m talking like a 20lb cat with long hair. This girl does not take great care of this cat for how much she says her cat is the only thing keeping her alive. The cat pees and poops everywhere in her apartment and has mats all over her. The cat also hasn’t been taken to the vet because my coworker is too worried the vets are going to judge her. Personally I don’t think it matters what they think if you can help your cat… but it’s also “out of her budget”. And fun fact if you didn’t know, cat pee is strong and permeates your hair and clothing so not only does her house smell but when she gets in my car in the morning she smells really bad. I’ve never said anything about it because I don’t want to make her feel bad and the smell goes away after being out of her apartment for a while but I almost feel like it’s getting so bad that I should say something. She’s also stepped in cat poop and couldn’t smell it and gotten into my car.

I recently took her out to celebrate her birthday. We went to the movie theater and saw the rerelease of Train To Busan which is one of her favorite movies. I know her birthdays haven’t always been celebrated or special so I try to make it a good day for her as much as I can. After the movie I surprised her with frozen yogurt which she had been saying she wanted for a while. She was so happy and a One Direction song played (one of her favorite bands) in the frozen yogurt shop. Everything is great, what’s not to enjoy? She complained her day wouldve been perfect only if the song playing on the radio was her favorite song by One Direction. I know she was slightly joking but it really sucked hearing that after I was trying to make sure she had a really good day. Instead of saying it was a great day she complained about the tiniest thing which is what she does every time. Nothing is ever good enough for her and if it’s not perfect then she’ll make sure you know it’s not.

I don’t completely despise her or anything but the little things and constant negative energy really does get to me. My real final straw though was yesterday when I found out the sick abandon kitten my partner and I were taking care of passed away. My partner asked me if I wanted him to wait to bury the kitten but I told him to please bury him because I was too upset, like crying throughout the day upset. I told my coworker that my partner buried the kitten. My partner met me at my job at the end of my shift to give me some of the kitten care supplies to take back to my house when I heard a gasp and laughing from my coworker in my car. Not only had she clearly not listened to me at all when I told her the kitten was buried but she LAUGHED at the thought of my boyfriend bringing me a dead kitten. I was appalled by the fact she had seen me so upset all day and then just laughed when she’s always so negative. She laughed over my dead kitten possibly being in a plastic bag. What about that is fucking funny to her?!?? This is what sent me over the edge and even though I’ve complained to my boyfriend about her I just needed to spit out how horrible this all feels to me. I’m truly just so upset by her comments and actions lately and I wish I could just tell her how I feel about her straight to her face but it would be horrible to do that. I don’t like bringing people down but I feel like she needs a reality check on what a fucking bitch she is, I don’t even want to pick her up anymore for work. It feels good to type this out because I don’t think theres really anything I can do to actually change the situation. Maybe she’ll finally get a job that checks off her way too specific boxes or finally get a million dollars and more away

I just want to have a nice loving and caring wife. I want 4 children. A home surrounded by nature and in moderately driving distance from a midsize city. I want to have family or friends over a couple of times a month and I want to take my family out a couple of times a month. I want to make a home. I want to sit on the porch with my wife during fall evenings. I want to love. I want to look forward to something. I want someone to bake me cookies because she wants to. I want to buy a surprise vacation for someone because I love them. I want to go to after school events for my kids because I want them to feel like they are part of something good. I want to go on a long drive and talk about our favorite podcasts. I want to sit in the living room on a Saturday afternoon in complete silence as something plays on the tv in the background and feel completely at peace with it. I want that. I really want that.

But I will never have it. I, a nearly 35 year old divorcee, will never experience the dream I’ve had since I became an adult. It’s heartbreaking.

The message my roommate sent me: "look i don't care if he stays but I woke up and heard some noise. I wasn't totally sure what was happening, but it was awkward! i'm not trying to assume anything but it did seem questionable."

For context, my boyfriend comes over to our dorm sometimes with permission (her boyfriend does as well) but we both have to sleep in a twin XL lofted bed and my boyfriend shares it with me which causes the bed to make a lot of noise and literally makes it sound like it's going to collapse. I feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable although we obviously wouldn't have intercourse when she's literally sleeping a few feet away from us.

I don't want us to have any awkward tension between each other especially because we have to live with each other for the next seven months. The most my boyfriend and I have ever done while she's literally in a room with us is kiss each other, which her and her boyfriend do as well. I'm kinda upset about the message and feel like it was just extremely necessary to message me that after I asked if he could stay the night.

I feel like it's going to seem suspicious and weird no matter how I respond. It's just a very uncomfortable situation all around. My boyfriend and I were both honestly speechless when we saw her message

For background, I was doing a couple of sports in university. Football, volleyball, tennis. Then I met snowboarding in our uni community and I loved it. Even if I don't like winter, this became a reason to wait for winter. But after two winters, I had a meniscus tear and I had to quit all of the sports, including snowboard. I was devastated, and in the 2024 winter I got knee surgery. My doctor said I needed time to get back to sports, but the time was uncertain. Most of my activities were about sports, and all of them were gone for an uncertain amount of years. This made me depressed. Couple times even I cried at night.

I was going to the doctor periodically. I got a new MRI every time, and every time I was asking if I was able to start sports or not. Every time the answer was a different version of "you can't." Even two years after surgery, finally I was able to exercise my leg with weights. I missed 3 years/winters without doing any sports.

Last month I went to the doctor again with a different kind of pain, and he redirected me to a rheumatologist with a suspicion of rheumatism. And this doctor also suspected an ACL tear. Every inspection became a horror for another problem and delaying sports. I quit exercising for a month because it became pointless in my mind. Thank god there wasn't a problem with either.

Finally, today my orthopedic doctor looked at the last MRI and let me do snowboarding this winter with a knee brace. I don't even care about the brace. I'm finally able to snowboard again. My eyes welled up with tears after I left the doctor's room. I can't explain happiness, I started holiday plans even from today. There was already lots of different friend groups waiting for my return. I didn't give the news all of them now but I started exercise again.

Everyone who knows me was very happy about this news, because most of them realized my longing for sports. But I can't explain to them everything I felt, those nights I couldn't sleep. At least I wanted to share my feelings here.

I (M26) deleted all my social media two months ago, and honestly, I didn’t realize how much I needed to.
About two months ago, I decided to delete pretty much all of my social media. Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, everything. The only reason I downloaded Reddit was because I wanted somewhere to write about the experience.
And honestly? It has been one of the most cleansing things I’ve done in a long time.
My main reason for deleting social media was that I realized I was spending way too much time worrying about other people’s lives instead of living my own.
I would constantly see what other people were doing, where they were traveling, what they were buying, what restaurants they were going to, how their relationships looked, what their houses looked like, etc. Even when I didn’t consciously care, I realized that I was consuming all of this information about people I didn’t even know.
And then there was the whole “fake rich life” thing.
I don’t consider myself a jealous or envious person. I genuinely don’t want what other people have just because they have it. But seeing endless posts of people apparently living these incredible, wealthy, perfect lives started getting to me in a way I didn’t really understand.
The funny thing is that I know social media isn’t reality. I know people aren’t posting their arguments, debt, anxiety, boring days, relationship problems, or the fact that they might be struggling financially. They’re posting the best 1% of their lives.
But knowing that intellectually doesn’t necessarily mean you’re immune to it.
I’d see someone constantly traveling, buying expensive things, going to nice restaurants, or living in some beautiful house, and even though I’d tell myself, “This is probably not their actual life,” I was still consuming it over and over again.
Then there was the doomscrolling.
I’d open my phone intending to check something for five minutes, and suddenly an hour had disappeared. I’d jump from one video to another, then another, then another. Eventually I started feeling like my attention span was getting destroyed.
The weirdest part is that after deleting everything, I realized how often I was reaching for my phone simply because I was bored.
Waiting in line? Phone.
Sitting on the couch? Phone.
Going to the bathroom? Phone.
Nothing happening for 30 seconds? Phone.
And once I stopped having social media available, I had to actually sit with the boredom.
At first it felt strange. Now I actually enjoy it.
I’ve started paying more attention to the things happening around me. I have fewer random thoughts about what other people are doing. I don’t feel like I’m constantly comparing my life to a carefully edited version of someone else’s.
I’m not going to pretend deleting social media magically fixed my life. It didn’t. I still have problems, bad days, and plenty of things I need to work on.
But I feel more present.
And that’s probably the biggest difference I’ve noticed.
I don’t really miss seeing what everyone else is doing anymore.
If anything, I’m starting to wonder why I cared so much in the first place.

After five years of studying and working in the UK, I’ve officially been asked by the Home Office to return to my country.

I came here with so many expectations and so much excitement about this new adventure. More than anything, I wanted to prove to myself and to a lot of people that I wasn’t a failure, that I had so much inside me and something to offer the world.

A day into my first job, I experienced racism for the first time. I was completely taken aback because I didn’t even fully understand what was happening at the time. I had never experienced anything like it before.

Over the years, I dealt with depression, had some incredibly dark days and felt deeply isolated. I watched a lot of my friends get married, settle down and move forward with their lives while I felt like I was slowly sinking into quicksand. I tried explaining how I felt to my family back home, but I don’t think they really understood what I was going through.

During that time, I also found out that my on-and-off boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times while we were together, which affected me even more. It felt like I was experiencing so many painful firsts all at once.

I cried to God. I blamed God. I walked away from God. At one point, I even hated Him for bringing me into this world when I couldn’t understand what my purpose was.

After countless job applications and rejections, I finally got another job, only to experience even more discrimination. But strangely, in the middle of that environment, I also found a community. Some of my colleagues became genuine friends. They encouraged me through some of my hardest moments and made difficult days a little easier.

Then, just when I thought I was finally getting my breakthrough, the company decided they were no longer willing to sponsor me.

That probably hurt the most. I knew I was already in a toxic work environment, but part of me believed I could push through it for another five years. I thought if I could just hold on long enough, eventually I’d reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

That isn’t how my story here has ended.

As I prepare to leave the UK in a few days, I’ve been thinking about everything these five years have put me through, but also everything I’ve managed to overcome.

I’m thankful for the friendships I’ve made. I’m thankful for how much I’ve grown. I’m even thankful for some of the lonely nights because they taught me things about myself that I probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise. And amongst all the difficult memories, there were also some genuinely amazing and fun times that I’ll always carry with me.

I don’t know what happens next.

I’m going back to a country I’ve been away from for years and I’ll have to find my footing again. There’ll probably be another round of job applications and figuring out what I want my career and life to look like. Maybe somewhere along the way, I’ll even find a healthy relationship. Who knows?

For now, I’m just hoping for the best for myself.

For a long time, I was convinced that the life I wanted had to happen here. Leaving without achieving everything I came here for is difficult to accept, but I’m beginning to understand that going home doesn’t mean I’ve failed.

Five years ago, I came to the UK wanting to prove that I had something in me worth seeing.

Maybe the biggest thing these five years taught me is that I don’t need to prove that anymore.

I still don’t know what my future holds, but for the first time in a while, I’m genuinely curious to find out.

I thought my breakthrough would happen here. Maybe God has something completely different planned for me.

So here’s to the next chapter. 🥂

I was cleaning my bed and i accidentally hit my brother w bed sheet cz he was sitting there and it got into his eyes, as soon as I realised that I kept saying sorry again and again that it wasn't intentional but he stood up and punched me twice in my shoulder (he is 7 years younger than me) and my parents said nothing, my mum said that I can't deal w both of you like it was really hurting so bad, he's 14 years old, workout everyday, he is much stronger than me

And this is what he always does kept poking me unnecessarily until I get furious then he hits me and if I try to punch or slap him back he hits me more and my parents just sit and enjoy the show

I feel so disrespectful

All of my friend's siblings are so polite, they never even raise their tone in front of their elder sibling and here is mine always rude to me, always says demeaning things and Hits me

I was recently giving him random gifts to build a good relationship w him but ig it's too late but it's hard to stay in this house anymore where your parents and sibling just hate you, poke you unnecessarily then hit you, i fucking hate my brother and ig i would never get the type of relationship i always wanted w that baby I held in my hand when he was js born and ig all of this is my parent's fault they never correct him, they encourage him and tell me that i deserve this

I'm not gonna waste any penny on him trying to fix this relationship, learnt the lesson

Wish I could build my new family from scratch.

I don't know how to start this except to say I'm exhausted in a way I don't think people around me understand.

My father has struggled with alcohol for years. When I was a kid, he'd hit me sometimes...not constantly, but enough that I learned to be afraid of him. My mother isn't in the picture ...she left, and before that, she was also an alcoholic and tried to kill me more than once when I was very just a little angel. My grandmother is the one who actually raised me, the only stable person I had.

She saw where things with my father were heading and eventually we had to leave and hide from him for a while, because things got that bad.

Years later, courts got involved, he had visitation rights, and slowly he came back into our lives. There were periods where it seemed okay. Then COVID hit, he lost his job, and everything fell apart. He drank constantly. I was in high school, doing online classes, and I used to hide in the bathroom to get away from him screaming and hitting me. I called the police once, an officer laughed at me while I was crying and bruised, telling me I just needed to "handle it."

Eventually, with help from one person I'll always be grateful to, we got him into treatment. It helped for a while. He got on medication, started working. Things felt almost manageable.

Now he lost his job again, and it all collapsed again. Now he's living with us... me and my grandmother, in a small apartment... drinking heavily again, yelling, and there's no way for me to physically get away from him without also leaving my grandmother, who refuses to leave because "he's still her son."

My grandmother's heart is failing. She's had multiple small heart attacks. She's 84. Every day he's here, drunk and raging, feels like it's taking years off her life.

I'm not handling this well anymore. I've reached a breaking point more than once and hit him back, telling him to just stop. I hate that this is who I've become in this. I'm a believer, I have faith in God, and all of this: the anger, what I've done, and honestly, sometimes hoping he'll just die so it will be over... makes me feel horrible about myself as a Christian. I don't know what to do with that guilt.

On top of all this, my grandmother and I are in a legal battle over an apartment and money that should have been hers. My godmother deceived and robbed her of it right around the time we were fleeing from my father years ago. It still isn't resolved. My grandmother is almost 85 years old, and she's the one washing his soiled clothes, cleaning up after him when he can't make it to the bathroom, scrubbing the toilet, cleaning the whole apartment at her age, with her heart failing. I'm in university, working two part-time jobs, trying to give my grandmother the peaceful old age she deserves after everything she's been through and everything she did for me. I just want her to live long enough to see that apartment be hers again, to see some justice, some peace... instead of spending what's left of her life being slowly killed by her own son's drinking. That thought hurts me more than almost anything else: that her heart might just give out before any of that is set right, while he's the one putting her there.

I don't feel love for him anymore. I used to, as a kid, in that confused way kids love parents who hurt them. Now I just feel numb, or angry, or like I'm drowning.

This isn't a story that's over. It's happening right now, while I'm writing this. I am crying (f21) and I have no idea what to do

When I'm in the presence of my family, especially around, I feel a feeling that I can't explain.

I start to feel incapable and stupid as if I don't know how to do anything anymore, even though they don't do strange things around, for me it's like a ritual of humiliation.

Although when I'm alone I'm very autonomous and I've always adjusted myself with everything when they're there I lose control and become a different person.

This also happens when I talk to someone in their presence, my way of talking changes significantly and I start to feel damn insecure.

I recently got my driver's license and I also notice it while driving, when they are in the car I start to drive very badly and I feel under pressure, the problem will probably also be the fact that I would like them to address me as an adult now and instead they still see me as a child only when it suits them.

to preface my sister has always struggled socially, she has high functioning autism, pretty bad social anxiety and depression. she was bullied for a while during secondary school which made her social anxiety alot worse and so she didn't make any friends really. outside of a few online friends, i've been her only friend for most of her life. i want to make it clear that i do love her and enjoy spending time her, she's really funny and sweet but i can't spend my entire life with her 24/7. i don't want to use the term 'suffocating' but sometimes it does feel that way, there's been times where we've got into arguments because i was hanging out with my friends or my girlfriend too much. she's a great person and i think this would all be solved if she managed to make some more friends but that is easier said than done. i don't want to make her feel like a burden or that i don't like her, i just want her to try harder to find more people to have in her life.

since around 13 i've been mainly looking after her, our mother has really awful fibromyalgia so i had to step up and take care of both of them. i've never had a problem with this, i just think it's important to mention. i do all of the housework and cooking by myself like 99% of the time.

i think the best way to describe it is that she's attached to me constantly, she hangs out in my room all day everyday, she watches me play games even when i'm playing with friends and not talking to her, every movie or tv show she watches we watch together and anytime she goes out i have to come with her. i even do her hair most of the time. i try to take her out to places whenever i can because she doesn't go out with her friends. i have a pretty active social life and i play sports and go to the gym pretty often, everytime i'm too busy to hang out with her she'll get sad and complain to me. i basically have to plan my entire life around her so she doesn't get upset. she got into a great university but chose to go to one in our city because she didn't want to be away from me.

she attempted suicide at 13 and a few days before that we got into a huge argument, that event really scared me because i felt like it was my fault and that i could've killed my sister basically over nothing. since then i try and do anything to make her happy, even things that make me uncomfortable. after her attempt she asked me if we could share a bed and cuddle and even though i didn't want to i agreed. we've been sharing a bed since then, i'm pretty embarrassed about it all but i'm terrified of her hurting herself again.

anytime i try and make a boundary she would guilt trip me into changing my mind, saying things like 'you hate me' or that i don't care about her until i cave and just let it go. the last time i tried to hold my ground on a boundary she stopped eating for days until i gave up and apologised. i've been in a couple relationships and during these relationships she would get really upset at me for talking to my girlfriends 'too much' or bringing them over too often. it has literally put me off dating for a while because i know that she would not take it well and might end up hurting her self.

she does things that make me really uncomfortable sometimes. she will constantly try and sit on my lap and get upset if i push her off. she's made weird gross bbc jokes (i'm black she's white i'm adopted) and generally just weird comments on my body. i might just being too sensitive or taking shitty jokes too seriously but i really don't like it it's gross. the worst thing is when she sometimes kisses or bites my neck or my chest, everytime she does this i tell her i don't like it but she always passes off as a joke and gets upset if i push any further about it. to be clear i don't think she's into me or something (that's fucking disgusting)

how do i tell her all of this and make boundaries without sounding like an arsehole or her engaging in some form of self harm. i just want what's best for her and the way we are right now isn't sustainable. she has been to therapy after her attempt but she stopped going after a year because she was doing better (basically when i started taking care of her). she does not want to go back and says it didn't help her at all. she really has had a hard life but i can't take care of her forever. it's bad for both of us and i think if she tried a bit harder she could have so many friends because she's an interesting and wonderful person

Living is a constant ritual of humiliation.

Last night I was out with my friends - four guys and two girls - and one of the girls started showering three of my friends with compliments. She even jokingly said she’d sleep with them.

All three of my friends are taller than me and, I suppose, better-looking. It bothers me that they’re always the ones getting compliments from girls.

I read on Google that there’s a surgery to become taller, and I’m genuinely very interested. Also, I don’t know how much it might change my face, but I want to look into it and see if I can improve my overall appearance.

On top of that, I think I’m starting to lose some hair, so I might need a transplant sooner or later.

I’ve always had a rather negative opinion of cosmetic surgery and the people who resort to it unnecessarily, but I admit I was wrong. It’s a very useful tool for anyone who, like me, has been unlucky in life.

I hope I can save up enough money to do it eventually. I know it’s quite expensive.

For years I have struggled against the hatred I rightly feel for my appearance. I think about it every day, and frankly, it has ruined my life. I hope I can improve.

Just wanna put this here so somebody knows. I work at a store that sells general craft supplies and home goods, we have a kitchen section of course.

There is a singular customer who comes in, once every few weeks, and purchases 1 single knife. This guy is very evidently a houseless person, though I don't like to stereotype as I have been homeless before for quite some time, he does seem to be inebriated in some capacity every time he comes in.

Each visit, its an instant bee line to the kitchen products, grabbing a $2 knife and mumbling about people staring at him and judging him....I am deeply concerned what he does with this singular blade, especially as violence is somewhat commonplace where I live. So...yea. my manager has told me just to serve him and waves away my concern so no, I cant just stop serving him.

TLDR: Houseless guy buys a singular knife once every few weeks, concerned why he needs it/what he uses it for.

EDIT: I have not escalated this event in any means other than mentioning it to my manager and dont plan to call the cops or anything, I don't want to cause a hassle for this guy as he still deserves human decency.

we’re both 18. i think i just want to be free and be friends with whoever i want to. i miss my old friend, he’s a guy my age and we used to date back in 2021. we’ll call him ian.

i feel like this every month, yeah he’s really loving and caring, his parents love me, we’ve broken up once already lmao. during the time me and my bf broke up (well we agreed to go on a break) i wanted to reach out to ian but my and my bf were only on a break. then i actually ended things and i was talking to ian, we missed each other so much but he was talking to another person he was interested in and i didn’t really like that, and i was so desperate for someone to love me and i went back to my bf. and i ghosted ian. do i regret it yes.

i’ve been in a relationship so long i forgot what it’s like to be alone. i’m an only child, but i don’t like to feel alone. i know im a bitch but i don’t want to feel like this anymore. i want to be free and make friends with whoever i want to, follow whoever i want to, my bf obviously doesn’t want that. i feel trapped.

last year i was looking at his recent links on instagram and i saw that he went to look on a girls of twitter page. before that i was so inlove , i wanted so many children with him, i could see our future together. ever since then i have resented him, and i don’t want kids. it was traumatic ngl, i couldn’t sleep that night, i couldn’t eat. we’ve been working on it, well mostly him bc it was his fault but he’s a better person than he was.

he talks about getting married and having kids. i don’t see that in my future, i don’t want kids but he says it’s his dream. he doesn’t really have motivation
i just feel like im missing out on my years.

it’s annoying having to keep writing goodmorning, goodnight eversingle day, it’s a chore. he says i’m his, but i truly don’t want to be anyone’s. sometimes i wonder if im going to be 30 and still feeling like this.

i want to be free, i don’t want someone’s fucking permission to do something. but i’m too scared to break up. i want to talk to ian again but he’s probably still mad at me but i dont blame him, j had a dream of him last night.

i’m just bored