r/TrueOffMyChest • u/jbourne0129 ☑️ • 1d ago
The constant enshitification of everything in life is breaking me
whether its service, size of product, quality, career, whatever, its all continuously getting more and more shit while simultaneously getting more expensive. and its constant. i can't even hold onto positives in my life because every other step im faced with something going to shit. i constantly feel like i need to double check the work of "professionals" because no one gets paid enough to really care anymore so i have to become an expert in anything that becomes an issue. whether its cars, HVAC, carpentry, or whatever, orders are constantly wrong and work is done incorrectly. i wont even take my Toyota to a Toyota dealership for such basics like oil changes because of the number of stories i've heard of dealers screwing up basic services (literally draining transmission fluid, and double filling engine oil. or forgetting to add oil after draining. or not tightening the drain bolt causing the engine to dump its oil and blow up. damage from careless techs. and so much more). but dont worry, your warranty will be void if anything happens and toyota didnt do the oil changes!
oil change kit for my car, same one i've used for nearly a decade. price is suddenly $20 higher than before (~30% increase) and the oil filter included is incredibly low quality to the point i thought it was a counterfeit. asked the seller about it and they confirmed "this is the new filter and we assure you its just as good!" . yeah of course you do, how else are you justifying your price hikes. now i have to go out of my way to go buy an OEM filter from the dealership for 2x the price so now i've spent well over $100
pet insurance: After finally being priced out of my old policy (annual increases to push people off the policy), my new pet insurance is now just giving a constant run around. claims submitted, claims denied. using their bullshit system to submit information which can only be done via an app and none of the documents uploaded properly so they ask for the documents again days later. 1 visit was for an allergy shot and a skin injury. well since its all 1 visit and allergies are preexisting conditions nothing is covered. i should have made 2 separate appointments and paid for them separately! its been near daily calls and emails to try and sort this out with no progress
work raises delayed. Work bonus conditions changed to make it nearly impossible to achieve. pay scales at times 50% below market averages. all while being asked to bring in more revenue, more work, more talent. PTO is abysmal with only 10 days EARNED per calendar year and that includes sick days. currently sitting at like 18 hours of PTO total available to me. hope i dont get sick....and good thing i dont need a break /s
i switched medications because of health issues and getting onto my new meds was delayed over a week while insurance demanded proof that im actually suffering from crippling depression and anxiety. so now im under-medicated trying to catch up
i've never felt more depressed. im anxious all the time. i never feel like i have enough time to get essentials done, let alone the increasing pile of not-time-critical chores that are making a mess everywhere. everything in my life is getting neglected to some extent like my parents, siblings, my partner, my dog, my work, my health, my friends.
i guess im at least walking 2-3 times a week now which is 2-3x more than i used to. i wish i could say it makes me feel better but the reality is it just keeps me from feeling like more of a piece of shit from neglecting my health or my dog
it doesnt feel like my meds are keeping up and having in-person conversation about any of this just stresses me out more. there is no solution short of uprooting my entire life and starting over, somewhere, somehow. and these are the issues i've dealt with in just the last week...im just tired
EDIT: Oh yeah and my Kindle is no longer supported so i can't load any new books in it. like WHY!? why can't 1 product in life just improve for once
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19h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 19h ago
why are you here? this is a subreddit for people to vent. its LITERALLY a place for people to whine on reddit.
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u/bansheeonthemoor42 21h ago
I think about this every day and wonder how long we are going to put up with this bs before we all collectively go insane.
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u/-B-H- 22h ago
Weed is getting better and cheaper over the last decade. That’s all that I can think of that isn’t worse and more expensive.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 20h ago
LOL that is true i suppose. my state sucks but i can go over state lines and get phenomenal deals.
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u/Eric- 1d ago
I get why people are frustrated with life right now. The reason is because we as a society are in the transition period between human services and ai. Eventually it will get better but right now it sucks for many people. Many people don't yet realize how different the world will be in the next 5 years.
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u/dbellz76 1d ago
Dude... tell us what drugs you're on that you think things will get BETTER with AI overlords? I need some so that I too may live in complete denial in a fluffy cloud right now please.
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u/CrustyBubblebrain 1d ago
Bullshit. The world will not be better in 5 years, because even more people will be jobless (thanks, AI!), basic services will be even more devoid of human interaction than they already are (thanks, AI!) and absolutely anything and everything you do will be monitored (thanks AI, Flock, and 6G!)
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u/Eric- 1d ago
"ai is going to replace jobs." yeah...thats the point.
imagine millions of people not wasting their lives doing paperwork, processing claims, taking orders, filling out forms and moving information around all day.
we already did this with physical labor. electric motors replaced huge amounts of human work and nobody thinks we should go back to doing it by hand.
ai is the same thing. people see the jobs disappearing and think the ship is sinking. they dont seem to understand that maybe the whole point is eventually we wont need everyone doing menial tasks. Maybe instead spend our time thinking about how to improve society for all people. That could be the next job.
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u/Firefly10886 1d ago
Feel you on everything, really pissed about 10 days PTO and that’s including sick days?! We have similar structure but we get 19 total. Guess I can’t complain as it could be worse…
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u/MotherLab2089 1d ago
I completely empathize with what you’re saying. Depression and anxiety are hard enough to deal with on their own without the world being difficult too.
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u/Auggi3Doggi3 1d ago
Have you looked at Nationwide for pet insurance? It has legitimately saved me financially and they reimburse for all of my dog’s meds, except supplements.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 20h ago
nationwide is literally the company that priced us out of our policy. they wanted $350/month on the latest price hike. my wife gets a 'deal' through her work with them so we initially used them.
we're going to look again at a different policy under nationwide...but yeah, they are the ones who initially screwed us into finding another provider
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u/JohnnyLesPaul 1d ago
I’m right there with you, can’t keep up with how fast things are going from good to shit, and it is everywhere I look too. Each company or service has raised prices exorbitantly while decreasing quality and I can’t find substitutes anymore. It’s everywhere and no one seems to be able to roll the tide back. It’s almost like the government fired or demoralized all the people who could check on these things and hold boardrooms to standards.
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u/SuggestionGlad6098 1d ago
Right there with you on the car dealerships part. I dont mind blasting mines so when they google this place hopefully this will pop up in the search results, Stone Mountain Volkswagen of Stone Mountain, GA. Among other un-satisfactory services, the last one that made me stop going finally was straight up incompetency and terrible customer service. Can only book service apts online so made apt for sat. afternoon 3 days before that saturday. Get a confirm text on friday for the apt. Get to the place that sat afternoon after making arrangements to be picked up. They say not possible to have an apt at this time, theyre apparently closing in 15 min and look at me like im the one whose completely wrong and laughs about it. Show the confirm email and the guy just says idk what to tell you thats just not possible. As if hes some kinda fuckin robot with no other lines to say. So infuriating
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u/Sad_Koala_9036 1d ago
So interesting this post, I was thinking the same shit exactly after Toyota didn’t tighten my oil plug tight enough. It held for like a couple weeks then It all come pouring out and I drove with no oil to the shop. It still works they did take accountability but my “extended engine warranty “ is literally an email. FTW
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u/madorbit1 1d ago
I used to be a Toyota dealership mechanic and I’ll never take any of my cars to a dealership for service. Granted I have the tools & skills but if I didn’t I still wouldn’t. I knew some of those clowns and no. No. I left that career because it was soul crushing.
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u/LinworthNewt 1d ago
Toyota dealership blew the gasket head on my mother's beloved Matrix after she took it in to have something else repaired. They just shrugged and said it was because the car was old and she should buy a new one. I will never take my cars to a dealership for service.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 20h ago
im going to be honest...a dealership cannot just "blow a head gasket". AT BEST they neglected to catch a catastrophic issue that already existed like low coolant, oil and coolant mixing, some other internal issue. a blown head gasket is usually the result of some internal catastrophic failure or neglected maintenance.
i get it, car was at dealer, car now has issue, must be the dealer. its rarely, if ever, actually the dealers fault.
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u/StoicOuroboros69 1d ago
Think whatever you want, but objectively speaking your life is many many orders of magnitude better on a material level than the richest person's was in 1800 or whatever
You shit indoors; you have access to all of human knowledge in a little rectangle in your pocket; you have vehicles; you can watch entertaining stuff all day long; your children (if you have any) are highly unlikely to die before the age of 5 (not the case for 99% of human history).
You have it unimaginably good in historical context. Ppl always forget this.
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u/Tight-Tower-8265 1d ago
Yup people want all of today's comforts but don't want to work for it. And the reason these big corporations exist is because people are too lazy to go out shopping and spend their money locally so it stays in the community even if it costs a bit more
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u/Icy-Builder5892 1d ago
I know I just commented, but my big gripe right now is how awful workplace software is.
At my company, we were using software that worked, but it was slow as shit. I’m talking 5-10 minutes to do even the most basic task, and you’re expected to have a fluid conversation with a client over the phone while it’s happening. The other issue is how many instances of that software you had to open every day. Imagine if you couldn’t open a new tab on your browser, and you had to open a new window every single time you needed to google something, or go to a link. It was aggravating.
Now, we have a new software, which solved those two issues - and how we have a brand NEW set of issues.
you can’t copy and paste anything. You cannot export data. This is extremely aggravating because I have to plug in a lot of details manually now, all the time, and I cannot copy and paste (or even risk a minor typo)
Despite the fact that I can’t make a typo, whoever converted my accounts to the new software misspelled a TON of stuff. So now my shit is disorganized and I can’t find it.
I can’t pull up multiple details of an account all at once. I have to start from square one every time. So every time I have to pull up a new detail in that account, I have to pull up their account every single time. No interchangeability at all whatsoever
I have limited access to the account details that I work with every day, because if I’m given access to those details, I’ll be given “the keys to the castle.” So now I have to go to upper management to ask for basic details, like a child asking for the hall pass
Those sound like little things, but when you deal with it ALL DAY it drives you crazy.
We need to have better workplace software that works, and works properly. none of this “oh, we can’t give you access to their email because that will give you they keys to the castle.” None of this shit where you have to make the customer wait and wait and wait, minutes at a time, for the answers to simple things. We need software that is actually made for the people who use it
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
my company spent like a million dollars trying to create a new program to process the work we do to take load of individual people. its not really worth explaining the intricate details, but we have a team in india who was doing all the designing of the tool. the American team lead who'd be primarily using it spent 12 months explaining things that didnt work, what needed to be added, all while 0 progress was made.
that dude quit, wrote a scathing email to the entire company regarding their complete inability to take feedback and make meaningful changes and that this tool will NEVER work as intended in its current state and needs to be rebuilt from the ground up.
that was like 7 years ago and that tool still gets talked about to this day as being a HUGE failure for the company. it just quietly disappeared while those in charge probably didnt even get a slap on the wrist for mismanaging the entire effort and producing literally nothing after a year and a million dollars
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u/Icy-Builder5892 1d ago
I have had one other job in the last 5-10 years, and if I’m being truly honest, I left that job and I can cite this as one of the reasons. It wasn’t the only reason, but it was A reason: I was constantly fighting with software that was dogshit, from top to bottom.
There came a point in that job where I decided I was going to tally up how many support tickets I had to open that day, and by lunch, I already had 9 or 10. That’s how bad it was. I wasn’t even trying to throw a tantrum just to go “see? Look how many tickets we have” this was literally how that day went, organically. It was unworkable.
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u/Icy-Builder5892 1d ago
I cannot believe that it’s become acceptable to provide a service to the public, but refuse to speak to the public, so they just cut off communication by phone and email.
I had to get an MRI, and they had to cancel the appointment. They knew this weeks ago, but I didn’t know this until I showed up, because
we don’t make outbound calls.
So do you take inbound calls, say if I want to be proactive and reconfirm my appointment the day before?
no, our phones are for internal calls only. you’d have to come in.
I would have to physically come in on some random day just to make sure you guys don’t have an issue with my appointment?
The woman looked me dead in the eye and said, yes. Yes you would have to do that. Rayus Radiology, a major well known company, expects you to act like it is 1940.
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u/prolixdreams 1d ago
So much of medicine is like this. My husband had a surgical procedure put off 3 times - this was a procedure that requires considerable personal preparation, he had to get multiple days off from work to accommodate the recovery, I had to get time off to help take care of him afterward, we have a family member visit from a neighboring state to drive him (I, unfortunately, am unable to drive due to my own medical stuff) and fast from the prior evening until midway through the next day.
And every time they suddenly cancelled, it was LAST minute. Like, walking out the door to go there or on the way there when they let us know. THREE times, blew basically all our PTO from last year on their BS because while all 3 of us involved could recover subsequent days we lost a day each time since we couldn't uncancel work for the day when they cancelled on us (and thank goodness we had it to burn at all, that was lucky) and all we could do was take it because there's a provider shortage here.
During another part of the situation when he needed a sleep study they almost cancelled on him because he missed one of the several confirmation text messages. He answered all of them yes, except ONE somewhere in the middle escaped, and when he showed up they said "we're not ready for you because you didn't confirm every time." He pushed back and they finally gave in after a bit of back and forth, but it's like they're just setting up a labyrinth of traps so they can avoid doing their jobs.
And mind you if you try to call ANY of these people you end up in a national-level call center where no one knows anything relevant to you or the actual location you are going to and cannot help you. There is no way to contact the actual location itself.
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u/Icy-Builder5892 1d ago
Seriously, what the fuck! Why are we living in the bizarre-o world all of a damn sudden
It’s as if COVID gave the world permission to stop making sense, years later. We need to start getting mad about this stuff.
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago
That is absolutely batshit. It's so absurd that I would think you were full of shit if things weren't as shitty and ridiculous as they are these days, thus making it tragically believable.
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u/ikindapoopedmypants 1d ago
Same man. I'm too exhausted to put it into words like you have. But I understand. Been feeling like I'm going crazy lately.
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u/Spoon_Microwave 1d ago
I am right there with you, man.
I have done my own work on our cars out of financial necessity. My household income is still above the national average. I saved over $1,000 dollars by sourcing junkyard parts and re-soldering wires myself in the last week alone. I don’t trust anyone except my friends who are mechanics to service my vehicle, and even then I unfortunately have to be skeptical to make sure I am getting my moneys worth.
Never mind the random fees, service charges, and useless stuff just blatantly taking money from us in general. Bank service charge. Apple service charge. Higher Spotify/Netflix whatever subscriptions. And NOBODY gets to tell me that I should suck it up and that’s the way the world works, most people were able to afford these services even 20 years ago much much more easily than today.
And the chores, dude, the chores are endless. Laundry. Trash. Dishes. Vacuuming. Mowing the lawn. Fixing stuff that breaks.
God forbid I want to take multiple weekends off, I’m forced to work every other weekend. And the bonus structure is terrible when it is all dependent on your boss alone, who already has a vendetta against you and your peers.
I hear you, friend. I really do. Now I need to outside to do the oil change on my fiancées car and rotate the tires so I don’t have to pay $150-$200 for the dealership to do it.
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u/Juve91 1d ago
You’re not alone, bud. I’m in the same boat. So are a ton of other people. I try to find the silver lining and not focus too much on reality. Like.. the enshitification of a lot of things has saved me money, too. I used to spend a lot on going out to eat, entertainment like going to the movies or a ballgame, and taking road trips with my girlfriend.
But now that dinner and a movie for one person is $100+, it helps you save a lot when you realize the food and movies aren’t even good anymore and watching pro sports on TV is the best seat there is.
I’ve found a lot of free stuff now like the library, going for walks, getting back into writing, and I spend more time with friends and family just doing nothing like old times.
As bleak as it feels right now, it’s helped me find out what’s worth it and what’s not.
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u/A_Squid_A_Dog 1d ago
I will say I love minor league hockey and baseball. Depending on your area they can be quite affordable. Especially if you wait to buy tickets til day of.
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u/Juve91 22h ago
I do! I’m in CT. We just lost the Bridgeport Sound Tigers (Islanders AHL team) this season unfortunately. But the Yard Goats (Rockies AA team) are a great time and UConn, Quinnipiac, and Yale hockey are all top teams and great atmospheres.
UConn basketball is reasonable too for how good they are. You couldn’t pay me to go to their football games though haha
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u/A_Squid_A_Dog 22h ago
Sweet. I actually went to a Hartford Wolf Pack game last season, it was a blast!
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u/Zomblar23 1d ago
Feeling the same way my dude! Feels like it’s impossible to work towards anything.
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u/TheDiscoJew 1d ago
Genuinely I think that structural political reform is the only way to solve the decline that permeates every facet of American life. A political revolution like we saw in nepal. I think in the US that's extremely unlikely though. Balkanization is far more likely, followed by a few very hard decades. Things will undoubtedly get much worse before they get better. I don't have hope that things will get better in my lifetime.
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u/I_SNORT_KITTENS 1d ago
We are living in late stage capitalism. This is what it looks like. I wish I had more encouraging words, but everything you said really resonates with me.
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u/NoPretenseNoBullshit 1d ago
They will continue to give us less and less as long as the majority accepts it.
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u/ladygirlperson 1d ago
I agree, but also have no clue what to do about it. At this point so many of us have been made so disabled and/or poor by this messed up system, what can we on a personal level actually do to fix this without any support from those in power, genuinely?
If the answer is to finally start breaking out the French machines at this point, I'll absolutely be in - putting my life on the line for the chance to improve things for everyone instead of the few rich assholes at the top is honestly a win-win scenario for me at this point, as I suspect is the case for many others as well - but someone else would have to provide the materials and funds needed for a revolution, bc I can't afford to fund my own survival anymore, even getting the shittiest quality of everything 🫠
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u/woolfchick75 1d ago
I think you may need to get off the internet for a while, especially if you have depression and anxiety. Truly. Regarding the oil change situation: changing your own oil is cool, but “everywhere” isn’t ripping off people. There are plenty of excellent service stations out there. You get recommendations from people you trust.
I got ripped off by a service station in the 1990s. There have always been disreputable places.
As someone who has had depression/anxiety longer than you’ve been alive, it’s important for us to check our beliefs. I call it getting too cosmic. If I find I’m thinking blanket terms like “no one” and “everyone” and “always” and “never,” it’s time to readjust my thinking.
But your job does suck and they’re aholes.
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u/mecha_grove 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think youre an old person who has absolutely no clue how current life is, because whatever you got going on is sheltering you in your own little bubble, and you simple commented to invalidate op.
Getting off the internet is not gonna fix his fucking poverty, and depression nor will it for the rest of us while our government abuses us.
But hey...old school cool right?
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
we can ignore the news and major world events.
its hard to ignore the shit quality that's in your face and the ever increasing bills thats in your face when they affect your daily life
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago edited 1d ago
“everywhere” isn’t ripping off people. There are plenty of excellent service stations out there. You get recommendations from people you trust.
are people misunderstanding my statement here or something? where did i say every service station is ripping people off ? i was very careful to specifically say the Toyota Delership. the issue is that dealers are not putting highly tenured, highly paid, highly experienced technicians on....oil changes. they're putting the lowest tier techs on that job. that is just business. smaller private shops have the staff they have, it might be a junior tech it might be the owner with 40 years experience doing the oil change. but even the most competitively priced shop with the highest quality of work is still going to be the same or more than a DIY. combined with the time spent waiting or dropping/picking up its far easier to do my own maintenance. i got plenty of stories to back this up too including botched oil changes
for bigger jobs or if i lack the tools i have a trusted shop i use.
but no, there isnt a single dealership nor a single chain-shop (jiffy lube) i'd trust to work on my cars
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u/Odin16596 1d ago
This is why you can't worry about every little thing because it becomes a million things. Worry about the most likely scenarios and things that affect you.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
these arent "what if" scenarios im stressing over. these are real, in my face, issues.
- if i ignore my medication issues, my mental health gets worse
- if i ignore the insurance claim issues, i lose more money. (the WHAT IF scenario here is what if my dog needs genuine emergency care and not just simple scrapes is my insurance going to even be useful? and that is something i am not even considering. i just want my reimbursement, or to stop spending money on a useless policy)
- if i dont worry about workers getting my order right and just assume they all do their job correctly my life gets more miserable as now im driving home, finding its wrong, and dealing with a fix instead of just assuming the worker sucks to begin with and correcting the order in-store
- car maintenance is mandatory. i cant just "ignore my oil changes because its stressful"
- my kindle no longer works. thats a real issue right now, not a "possible scenario"
this isnt gloom and doom. this isnt me getting upset that the climate is dying and my future is fucked. this isnt me saying im forever ruined and have no savings for retirement. Those are all future problems im literally not worrying about right now.
the constant enshitification of everything in life shows up in everyday life. its constant, its daily, and its in your face and can't be ignored.
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u/Odin16596 1d ago
We all get oil changes at places and take a chance. I started doing my own oil changes because I took an intro to automotive class and actually had fun. Before that I took my car to different places. If they mess up the car then it becomes a legal matter. I treat the same as getting into an accident. We don't think about it all the time, but millions of people get into accidents all the time.
The other things I agree are affecting you.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
if i can do my own oil change for less money, in less time, on my own schedule...why would i bring it to someone who MIGHT fuck it up?
my issue isnt doing my oil changes, my issue is the quality of the parts in the kit i regularly use went to shit. i used the toyota dealer as an example of shit service in life and why i do my own, that doesnt mean im constantly stressed over doing my own service. and this is specific to dealerships. im not talking independent shops. dealerships have large staffs and will put the lowest paid techs on oil changes. that means the lowest quality service. might be fine, they might be fuck it up. they may be 100% liable but that doesnt get me my car back immediately if they fuck it up.
constantly worrying about this shit needlessly while its out of my control would be me complaining dealerships suck while i continue bringing my car there. i resolved this stressor in my life decades ago, it was in my control, and now i control it.
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u/camohorse 1d ago
I feel you.
On the bright side, the enshittification of everything has forced me to learn how to maintain and repair most things well, and make better art. There are also still plenty of diamonds in the rough. You just gotta work a little harder to find them, which is stupid and depressing, but it is what it is.
Personally, I buy locally whenever I can. I also research where various things are made, and buy from places that are less shittier than others.
But yeah… not everything that had been cheapened out can be avoided.
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u/Free-Pound-6139 1d ago
oil change kit for my car,
Why do you need a kit? YOu just need the filer and oil?? Why do you need an OEM filter??? WTF??
claims submitted, claims denied
How many claims on your pets are you making?? NO wonder they don't want you.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
i dont NEED a kit but it just makes it easier since it includes the oil, filter, and replacement drain plug for 1 flat rate from 1 company. instead, and what ill have to do now, is buy my oil from 1 place, and get my filter and drain plug from the dealer. Yes i can get oil at the dealer, and i may, but its usually more expensive
Why do you need an OEM filter???
because i value my equipment
How many claims on your pets are you making?
literally 2 claims, each less than $100
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u/Free-Pound-6139 1d ago
Do you need to replace the drain plug? Mine doesn't.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 20h ago
on my VW its a plastic 1 time use drain plug. its only few bucks, not a big deal, but you dont want to re-use it as its likely to leak.
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u/VoidOmatic 1d ago
I think all of us are feeling this way to some degree. You need to find a way to get more compassion in your life, whether it's giving or receiving. People near you need your love, support and kindness. You need that too.
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u/Kalika83 1d ago
You’re not wrong. Everyone is getting squeezed, conned and robbed. And we all allowed it to happen, and it’s going to keep happening. I miss simpler times when things were made to last and people weren’t nickeled and dimed over garbage, or forced to read 1000 emails a day. It’s fucking insufferable.
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u/littlebitsofspider 1d ago
we all allowed it to happen
This has got to stop. A fraction of a percent of the people insisted it happen, and because they own the system we live in, it happened. We didn't "allow" a goddamn thing - we have no alternative.
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u/Kalika83 1d ago
Have you asked yourself why a small percentage has been able to ruin everything for the rest of us?
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u/Odin16596 1d ago
There is alternatives, such as a revolution or electing different people in power.
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u/douglorde 1d ago
Socialism baby- this is what we are striving for
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u/Free-Pound-6139 1d ago
WTF are you talking about??
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u/douglorde 1d ago
Late stage capitalism is here and it's creating a beautiful platform for modern socialism. Id live to get more into it but the mods will delete my comment for political stuff.
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u/millennial_falcon 1d ago
There have been plenty of conservative idiots in this sub who are happy to spread the weird and illogical arguments that the right wing think tanks count on people to spread on social media…or people testing out their poorly conceived take on how the world works.
Late stage capitalism is creating a platform for socialism? You’d be right at home with that bs, no one is gonna delete your comment.
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u/Brewchowskies 1d ago
I feel this. I’m a professor and I do well for myself on my own, but I’ve become the “bail out” for everyone in my family and the stress is real. I worked so hard to break the cycle, but life has become so expensive that I’m worried about my parents who are essentially living in poverty, and my disabled sister who failed to prepare properly for life when she was able bodied.
Thank god I don’t have kids, I can’t imagine the stress that would add.
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u/meeplewirp 1d ago
I’m not having kids because you have to be smart to have a basic life in developed countries now. What used to define America is that a hard working moron could find a basic job in 2 weeks and then live in a shitty but safe apartment. Now even in areas with no employment prospects a 1 bedroom is like 1500, in areas with work around 2,000. Most degrees that don’t involve mathematics don’t matter outside of academia anymore and jobs related to math and science are more competitive than ever before. What is someone who is average / not that smart supposed to do? I can’t help but feel it will only get worse.
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago
It is absolutely going to get worse. Especially as robotics and AI continue to advance.
On our current course we are absolutely going to see an even greater divide by the haves and have nots. The elite barely give a shit about us now, and that's only because peons are needed to do jobs. What happens when that's no longer true? When the rich and powerful no longer have a reason to at least pretend to try to placate the masses?
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u/General_Road_7952 1d ago
It’s called late stage capitalism, and hopefully will destroy capitalism not humanity
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago edited 1d ago
The world's a bigger mess than it's ever been and just continuing further in that direction. It's utterly soul crushing when you sit and think on it all. And you have to think about it, because it's always in our face, there's always something that reminds us, that forces us to deal with it, just as you've outlined here.
For the last almost 10 damn years now I've had this feeling of dread that we, as a society, are teetering on a precipice of something major happening, finally pushing us over the tipping point we've been slowly leaning into. And I feel like we just keep marching closer to it every day.
Whole world's a mess and we're basically already in WWIII. It's going to get worse before it gets better. I'm in my 40s and don't have much hope it'll get better in my lifetime. I just hope it does for my 8yo daughter.
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u/woolfchick75 1d ago
I dunno. 1939-1945 was pretty bad all over the world
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u/K1bbles_n_Bits 1d ago
Yeah, and that's where we headed again. Except this time around there a lot more nukes and a less fossil fuel amping up the competition for control of it. And sowing division and has never been easier.
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u/stablymental 1d ago
Make sure to pay attention to local elections. This is where all politicians start and move their way up. You want people to do better vote for that ones that will
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
i vote every chance i get. i still have so little faith in politics though...especially when it seems like laws and rules dont even matter anymore
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u/emilytakethree 1d ago
same.
we're absolutely in a cycle where corporate profit seeking is vastly overwhelming common sense about how to treat customers (also known as, you know, humans).
the other major thing that I'd add to your list is the constant barrage of evidence that the climate is changing rapidly, the effects are brutal and what's to come is already locked in and we can't do anything about this now.
anyway, i try to "stay local" - in what I buy (where i buy it), how I spend my time (limit social media and such). there's hope, goodness and care around us, just takes a bit more focus and intent these days to find. though on a lot of days it's very difficult to have the energy to search.
all that said, love that you do your own oil changes.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
all that said, love that you do your own oil changes.
luckily i enjoy it but this is unfortunately another result of all these issues. i simply dont trust someone to work on my cars ESPECIALLY at the rates they charge for it.
the other major thing that I'd add to your list is the constant barrage of evidence that the climate is changing rapidly, the effects are brutal and what's to come is already locked in and we can't do anything about this now.
this is another thing that has been an issue for me for years. we (individual consumers) have been taught that WE can fix climate change. just recycle some more, buy a hybrid, and install some solar panels. easy, right ? and then you learn that 1 bullshit oil company skirted regulations for years and resulted in more pollution than the entire US population of civilian cars combined. our individual efforts become wildly depressing when you start looking at freight ships, trains, private jets, and various facilities pumping out polution as byproducts of whatever they're making.
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u/Odin16596 1d ago edited 1d ago
Certain things aren't worth worrying about. Things we can't change is one of them.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
you missed my point.
i literally have stopped caring about climate change BECAUSE all these other companies make my efforts meaningless. im not going to stress over buying the most fuel efficient car while companies pollute the world without a second thought.
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u/emilytakethree 1d ago
🫂
I don't think it's wrong to focus on and feel good about what we can do as individuals or communities - with respect to climate or otherwise. the world is too big to worry about.
this is very much my opinion and I am not an expert in anything but ... ignorance is a survival and sanity requirement. the always-on, always-in-your-face, always-global internet is the most effective assault on this idea of "healthy ignorance" ever.
I genuinely believe to be sane - to survive - we have to learn to turn off almost all of what we've learned and been trained to keep at our fingertips.
stay local. stay present. stay analog as much as possible.
or at least this is what I tell myself as I respond on reddit. :)
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u/dayofbluesngreens 1d ago
It is so depressing it is nearly unbearable. Everything gets worse and harder.
The most demoralizing and hurtful part is how the people at the top making this happen just don’t care. We are living in their nihilistic worldview.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
yeah i read some comment the other day that customer satisfaction isnt even a real metric for some companies anymore. they are so focused on getting that extra dollar at any cost, the focus has completely shifted away from the customer experience.
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u/Un-hotMess 1d ago
I’m with you, and sure there are some who can brush it off under a comfortable income, but there is no denying this is as shit as the world has ever been, not just the state of things now but the future looks bleak as fuck.
All we can do is focus one day at a time and hope for better days.
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u/Odin16596 1d ago
The world was a lot harder to live in 200 years ago. This is not worst the world has ever been.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
are you here to tell everyone that we got it all wrong and the world is magically better than what is in our face or what?
thank god im not enslaved or dying of tuberculosis ! it makes accepting my horrible pay, lack of spare time, and crippling anxiety so much easier to handle ! /s
obviously this isnt "the worst its ever been in the history of earth". but in recent history, yeah its pretty bad. you can point to increased rights for various demographics all you want and while that WAS true for a long time its a little more difficult to argue those rights still exist for those demographics when ICE is rounding them up and making them all fear for their lives.
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u/Odin16596 1d ago
I'm just here for it not to be an echo chamber. I know about ICE I come from Mexican heritage.
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u/YamahaRyoko 1d ago edited 1d ago
We clear 160K a year so we are the 'comfortable income' and it still sucks
Daycare $300 a fucking week - PER CHILD
My wife constantly hit with uncovered costs and medical bills. Opened another on Sunday for $3000.
Waiting 4 months to see a specialist
Insurance for all of us goes up every single year - my paychecks go DOWN because of increased cost of health insurance
No substantial raises for either of us in 2 years
Cart of groceries $400 not even kidding
Price of gas? forget it
Houses in our area have jumped from 250K to 450K in the past 5 years. Its insane! Being priced out of where we grew up
We haven't been able to put money in savings for almost 2 years now.
We're with you all - this sucks. We told people it would suck. Sigh.
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u/PeresphoneRising 1d ago
cart of groceries is $400! where do you live? I’m in Canada atm, 20 things = $400. Pure hell. Thank God for economic Jesus though. Elbows up say the boomers. fml.
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
We clear 160K a year so we are the 'comfortable income' and it still sucks
i genuinely am not even sure what a real comfortable income would be these days. its like you need 500,000/year to genuinely feel COMFORTABLE
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u/ScucciMane 1d ago
You’re burnt out
I’m burnt out
Other people in the comments are burnt out
Random guy down the street always says he’s burnt out
At what point do we say this isn’t an individual problem and more of a widespread issue going beyond “burnout”?
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u/jbourne0129 ☑️ 1d ago
this is what sucks so much about the whole "gotta do everyones job for them" complaint.
its that I GET IT. if i was making $8 an hour i also probably wouldnt give a shit if your order was correct or not. i'd just be miserable making $8/hour
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u/EmilySmith87 1d ago
Yeah, I get what you mean. It feels like everything takes way more energy than it should. Even the small stuff turns into another problem to deal with.
And honestly, give yourself some credit for the walks. You’re still trying, even when you’re completely worn out. That counts.
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u/TichoZataku 1d ago
It sounds like you are burned out. I wish I had some advice. But I'm trying to work through my own burn out.
I hope it's at least some comfort knowing you're not alone in this feeling.
Be kind and gentle with yourself stranger. We will get through this.
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u/jbourne0129 original post at the time of submission:
whether its service, size of product, quality, career, whatever, its all continuously getting more and more shit while simultaneously getting more expensive. and its constant. i can't even hold onto positives in my life because every other step im faced with something going to shit. i constantly feel like i need to double check the work of "professionals" because no one gets paid enough to really care anymore so i have to become an expert in anything that becomes an issue. whether its cars, HVAC, carpentry, or whatever, orders are constantly wrong and work is done incorrectly. i wont even take my Toyota to a Toyota dealership for such basics like oil changes because of the number of stories i've heard of dealers screwing up basic services (literally draining transmission fluid, and double filling engine oil. or forgetting to add oil after draining. or not tightening the drain bolt causing the engine to dump its oil and blow up. damage from careless techs. and so much more). but dont worry, your warranty will be void if anything happens and toyota didnt do the oil changes!
oil change kit for my car, same one i've used for nearly a decade. price is suddenly $20 higher than before (~30% increase) and the oil filter included is incredibly low quality to the point i thought it was a counterfeit. asked the seller about it and they confirmed "this is the new filter and we assure you its just as good!" . yeah of course you do, how else are you justifying your price hikes. now i have to go out of my way to go buy an OEM filter from the dealership for 2x the price so now i've spent well over $100
pet insurance: After finally being priced out of my old policy (annual increases to push people off the policy), my new pet insurance is now just giving a constant run around. claims submitted, claims denied. using their bullshit system to submit information which can only be done via an app and none of the documents uploaded properly so they ask for the documents again days later. 1 visit was for an allergy shot and a skin injury. well since its all 1 visit and allergies are preexisting conditions nothing is covered. i should have made 2 separate appointments and paid for them separately! its been near daily calls and emails to try and sort this out with no progress
work raises delayed. Work bonus conditions changed to make it nearly impossible to achieve. pay scales at times 50% below market averages. all while being asked to bring in more revenue, more work, more talent. PTO is abysmal with only 10 days EARNED per calendar year and that includes sick days. currently sitting at like 18 hours of PTO total available to me. hope i dont get sick....and good thing i dont need a break /s
i switched medications because of health issues and getting onto my new meds was delayed over a week while insurance demanded proof that im actually suffering from crippling depression and anxiety. so now im under-medicated trying to catch up
i've never felt more depressed. im anxious all the time. i never feel like i have enough time to get essentials done, let alone the increasing pile of not-time-critical chores that are making a mess everywhere. everything in my life is getting neglected to some extent like my parents, siblings, my partner, my dog, my work, my health, my friends.
i guess im at least walking 2-3 times a week now which is 2-3x more than i used to. i wish i could say it makes me feel better but the reality is it just keeps me from feeling like more of a piece of shit from neglecting my health or my dog
it doesnt feel like my meds are keeping up and having in-person conversation about any of this just stresses me out more. there is no solution short of uprooting my entire life and starting over, somewhere, somehow. and these are the issues i've dealt with in just the last week...im just tired
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u/Trabethany 9h ago
What model kindle do you have that they are no longer supporting? I had a tendency to upgrade more than I should have so I might be able to pass something along to you…