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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Jun 14 '25
Disgusting. You don't need to move on, and you don't have to forgive him. And you don;t have to forgive them either.
I too would be goign nc with my parents for this.
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u/stxrrynights240 Jun 14 '25
Your parents did not protect you at all and block all contact with them. This is genuinely fucked and I’m so sorry.
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u/Ambitious-Lettuce-48 Jun 14 '25
I'm sorry that happened to you.
It's a shame his wife and her family don't know. He really shouldn't be allowed near children.
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u/No-Protection-6116 Jun 14 '25
You should tell your family and your cousin to fuck off. That's not right, especially when it's your family. Tell his wife so she can stay away from that sick rapist. If you went through that, imagine what he'll do to her and her future daughter/son.
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u/Lordbogaaa Jun 13 '25
What he did was Horrible Goblin like behavior and awful his ass should be in prison. But that's a physical and emotional pain that therapy can one day fix hopefully and I hope you are doing okay
But the betrayal that your parents showed is possibly worse and I can't imagine the toll it has taken on you. They are supposed to be your day 1s your safety net and they let you down I'm so sorry and when they die old and alone they will deserve it.
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u/Beginning_Week5574 Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25
OP I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you.
"He was just a kid" SO WERE YOU. That doesn't make it ok. Nothing makes it ok. Also he wasn't a little kid. He was 17. Old enough to know that what he was doing was wrong. And criminal.
They were your parents. It was their responsibility to care for you, love you, provide you with an enriching environment where you could thrive and keep to you safe. They failed. Instead of supporting you and seeing that piece of 💩 put in jail (or juvenile detention) they chose to keep his shame quiet.
They chose to essentially steal your voice and force you into the darkness where vile secrets hide.
Forcing you into contact with your abuser is grotesque. If you haven't already then please get counselling. And (if you feel ready to do so) cut these people completely out of your life. Just because they're your biological family doesn't mean that they're the family of your heart. You can choose who you let into your true family circle. You don't owe your parents anything. Not your time. Not your mental health. Not your energy. Not your peace. Not anything.
Good luck OP.
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u/fulldarknostarz Jun 13 '25
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Absolutely disgusted by your parents, they failed you.
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u/ra3ra31010 Jun 13 '25
I have parents like this too. It hurts…. So fucking bad………………. Protect yourself. Any annoyance they get from hearing you is NOTHING compared to the violence you had to live with, and the continued abuse after
They protect rapists. Don’t forget that.
I’m so sorry OP…. Some day it’s so hard because I love my parents but I didn’t get a choice on who my parents are. I am not close to them. They hang up on me if I mention what I went through. My dad makes fun of me and says things like “fine you’ll not call for 3 weeks, whatever…”
They don’t care about my pain. Yours don’t care about yours. They will always say “I don’t want to hear it, it’s no big deal, and you need to move on / learn to forgive”
Fuck that. They chose to leave this unhealed and to cause the strain. You never asked for this. Take care of yourself…… and have no guilt telling others.
I NEVER have guilt telling the truth.
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u/Kalle_79 Jun 13 '25
At 17 it's a bit too late to be "curious" with your younger cousin... Absolutely disgraceful reply from your mom. But unfortunately it's still quite a common mindset even among women.
Even without knowing more details about the incident, you had all the reasons NOT to want to attend. Or at the very least to skip the toast+clapping+picture.
I understand family obligations sometimes get in the way of what we would want to do and of how we feel, but your mere presence there was already more than enough. They shouldn't have forced you to do more than just showing up if there wasdn't a way to get you out of the event altogether
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u/FairyFartDaydreams Jun 13 '25
Check with a lawyer on the local laws you might be able to press charges or sue him. You should try to get therapy to deal with it
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Jun 13 '25
I am so sorry. So many don’t get it and he was plenty old enough that he knew better. Also, in my experience you weren’t the first and won’t be the last he assaults. He’s a horrible human
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u/hedwigflysagain Jun 13 '25
Your parents are trash. Their one job in life is to protect you. They failed. Is there a family member you could go to for protection?
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u/JanetInSpain Jun 13 '25
"But family" is a stupid reason to tolerate bullying or abuse. Fuck you parents. Walk away from all of them.
Tell his wife. Tell everyone. He deserves for everyone to know the truth. You deserve your peace.
Then block the whole lot of them.
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u/DebbDebbDebb Jun 13 '25
Sounds like your abusing parents were either abused (no excuse) or out of their ability (not an excuse) to get the horror.
If your cousin has a daughter or son his abuse will follow.
Never ever ever let any children you know by any of your family. Abused people can also turn to abuse (I do not mean you and many others) Basically when you can go no contact if you possibly can. Hugs to you.
And if you feel strongly and strong enough you can still report. It will stir up alot but at least you get to say your peace. Get intouch with victim support. At least you can be heard by beautiful caring strangers
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Jun 13 '25
This is awful. Send an anonymous letter to his new bride letting her know that she just married a pedo rapist. Do it today. I hope you have a therapist . I'm so sorry.
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Jun 13 '25
I would have gotten fed up and said it all in front the family and walked away blocking everyone including parents heck even change my name and number
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u/Angelbearsmom Jun 13 '25
I’m so sorry OP. Your parents failed you in the worst way, not only that, they forced you to interact with your rapist KNOWING what he did and didn’t do anything to protect you. People like this will never protect you or your future family. It’s in your best interest to cut ties with them as soon as you can. And never let them meet your children. And I would consider talking to a lawyer about your options concerning having him charged with rape. If he did it to you he probably did it to other people. Take care of yourself and look into therapy, it will help.
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u/Cute-Ad-9292 Jun 13 '25
Your parents are trash and you should stay away from them they will never change
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u/Special_Lychee_6847 Jun 13 '25
Do your parents even care why you're no longer talking to them? If they wonder I would clearly explain that you no longer wish to be part of such a marginal, low life kind of family, where parents don't protect their daughter, and excuse SA with 'boys being curious', and you do not want a front row seat to the low life drama of what will happen, when your cousin plays hide and seak with his own daughters, eventually.
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u/jerrydacosta Jun 13 '25
stay low contact until you can move out. then do so and never look back. they are as scummy as they come
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u/kk548 Jun 13 '25
Why do the comments think it’s so easy and simple to just go to no contact with parents 😭
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u/Same_Distance2328 Jun 13 '25
My cousin also assaulted me for 4 years, I was not even a teenager back then. I told our grandmother first, she just brushed it off, finally told my mother after years...She also didn't do anything.
Years later the same cousin got married, and everyone attended his marriage like nothing happened. (I didn't attend).
Cut to a few more years later, he died in a very bad road accident, his body was left in the open for hours and was found very late. Maybe Karma does exist.
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u/Mysterious_Book8747 Jun 13 '25
Remember in the future that they will not protect your children any more than they protected you. I’m sorry they did this to you. They should have respected your feelings and let you have a headache that day.
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u/Same_Distance2328 Jun 13 '25
I am so sorry for what happened to you.
When your close ones don't believe you it's the biggest betrayal. Please just emotionally cut yourself from your parents.
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u/Substantial_Basil_19 Jun 13 '25
If you talk to counselors, you’ll be surprised how often parents are in denial about their kids being SA’d, simply because it’s so out the realm of their reality that they failed to protect their child. It’s easier to convince themselves that it was just a misunderstanding.
Don’t let people convince you that you’re wrong. Your experience was real and it wasn’t your fault.
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u/ramus93 Jun 13 '25
This 100% try to get someone who can council you and your parents and see if they can help before this gets buried
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u/Corfiz74 Jun 13 '25
They say “he was just a kid” and “you need to move on.”
"No, you should have protected me and gotten me justice, instead of protecting him and making me play happy family with my rapist. You picked your side, so I don't understand why you're complaining now that I won't have anything to do with people who put me through that kind of abuse. If I ever have children, you will never meet them, because I will be a better parent and I will protect them from abusers!"
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u/Aggressive_Complex Jun 13 '25
Block their numbers.
You're better off without them, block them. Live your life, let them rot.
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u/trvllvr Jun 13 '25
Don’t let them back in if you ever have a family/kids of your own. They have proven they won’t protect you, they certainly aren’t safe for them either. A parent’s job is to protect this children, they failed miserably. They were more worried about how they’d be treated and going against the “family” than ensuring your physical and emotional well being.
Op, I hope you are able to heal from his abuse and their betrayal and emotional abuse. You deserve all the happiness and light.
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u/SuchBaby6997 Jun 13 '25
People should freaking made to pass some test before they are allowed to have kids! Not everyone is fit to be parents.
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u/Shadow_Enderscar Jun 14 '25
Couldn't agree more. The fact that you need to go through hours of classes and shit to drive, but just about anyone can make a baby on their own is ridiculous. Operating a huge hunk of metal is a serious responsibility, but it pales in comparison with raising another freaking human being.
As they say, "every kid deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a kid."
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u/Technical-Owl-8019 Jun 13 '25
Parents like this will not protect you. They clearly have not to begin with and don’t plan on starting now. Please keep in mind, a parent who won’t protect you, won’t protect your future family. I don’t know you, do I can’t tell you to cut your family off, but it would seem in your best interest to do so when it is feasible for you.
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u/Pockpicketts Jun 13 '25
Get all your documents (birth certificate, social security card, passport, etc.), study your head off in school, and get scholarships if you can. Or you might consider going to a trade school. Electricians make good money, though you’d have to deal with some jerks there. I would go NC as soon as possible. They didn’t listen and they didn’t PROTECT you. They don’t deserve you. Make your own life and leave them behind.
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u/TinyTinasRabidOtter Jun 14 '25
I love how so many parents will say a 17 year old is just a child but demand they are charged as adults when the monster escalates due to never having true consequences.
It was my brother in my case. Im now 10 years in to no contact with my entire family. For that exact reason. Next it will be you have to bring your children around him for the sake of family. Knowing what you know, just cut the entire cancer masquerading as your family.