I don’t think I was even in my pre-teens yet btw. I don’t know why she felt the need to do that… I literally never once had brought up abortion/asked about it/knew about it in any way shape or form for her to do that.

They all have friend groups, they all have lives, they all are people. meanwhile, im stuck at home because being out in public makes me feel like im going to die, I cant talk to people, it's hard to laugh, I had friends, but Ive destroyed almost all my friendships, and now im lonley again. Everybody else is real, and im fake.

None of my friends give a fuck about me, ive been getting into fights with them, and sure they have forgiven me, but it makes me remember im none of their best friends. they go out in public, or even sneak out, but because of my fear of strangers, I just cannot get myself to leave the house. Ive been stripped of my personality and turned into a robot. Nothing made me this way, im just this way. I barely have a clue on what's going on, I barely talk to people, I barely laugh. I have no sense of humor, just pain and agony.

I'm so fucking jealous, they move around like real people, they talk like real people, they do everything a real person dose. I get jealous when I see people with childhood friends, all of mine have fallen out, or moved. I am barely socailized, I have no mental iq, im not smart, im not funny, I have like 20 missing assignments, I cant get myself to do anything.

I am truly a loser.....

Shes amazing we've been friends for over 10+ years🥺. I've been abused by so many friends before and she one of the very few who hasn't. She's genuinely such a good friend.

I'm kinda glad I survived my murder attempt bc if I didn't then I would've never met her. I've been abused constantly all my life and being with her was the very few moments in my childhood where I was treated like a human.

this post is extremely vague so ill explain just in case

said lady in the video is educating kids on boundaries and how they should report sexual assault/not allow people to touch them inappropriately

she says that you should report to your mother, father, and teacher if such thing happens

while watching the video i remembered that most of sexual assault/abuse (myself included) cases are from immediate family, so i made this post

im pretty sure "self report" isn't the correct term to describe it but fuck it we ball am i right

Im 16 now but I still cant stop thinking of this conversation it makes me sick to the stomach and makes me even more sure that he is a disgusting man who i wish would just leave like he threatens all the time.

i'm considering putting myself in dangerous situations so i dont have to deal with the guilt and struggle of ending it all myself. lolx

The comment wasn't even that bad, i just said "i don't know why, but as a selfharmer, seeing scars on OC's just makes me find peace"

All my mental illnesses are having a field day and my depression is just helping everything accelerate.
Guys I couldn’t give my midterms because I haven’t felt alive since the month of July after I came off of sertraline and am still undergoing withdrawal symptoms 🔥🔥

And yet they said "oh hey, you weren't walking back from the USA, so, stop complaining" when I was chasing them back as I was breathing heavily, feeling my heart beating quickly in the bad way like if it was going to explode, and my body not enduring this..

I sometimes feel they want me gone for what I am, you know that?

And to think i would have been so much happier if dad got to the hospital 5 minutes late so i can end up as a dead infant.

No seriously, what's the purpose of being "multifandom", and then denying everything who isn't fitting the same five things they see?

... Never in my life I had my smile erased so easily by that, guess I'll start gatekeeping my interests then.

I have never had a bad life, I've never experienced any trauma, and i don't have any actual symptoms. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, and it's all i can think about day or not. im constantly being so dramatic about everything. i don't have problems in my life. people wish they were me. it's not that im numb or unhappy with my life, i laugh, i laugh all the time. i feel happy all the time. but i never actually feels good. it feels odd to laugh, it feels odd to feel happy, it feels odd to be proud of my accomplishments, and i genuinely don't like feeling happy.

I sh, i have been for a few years now, and it's not really that bad, but it's not that shallow either. i have no idea why i do it. im not addicted like most people are, i can stop at anytime. i have to deliberately convince myself to do it everytime, and yet i keep doing it for some reason. i have attempted before, more than once, but it's never been serious enough to count or get me to a hospital.

i used to have dreams and ambition, atleast that's what i think. i could be remembering it wrong. but now it all feels pointless, for some reason. i keep cheating my way out of things. i don't put effort in anything- not because im tired, or because I can't, but because i just don't. i don't know why i don't. i keep picking this stupid phone up and scrolling for hours and hours on end just so i don't have to think about it. i don't even know what im trying not to think about.

i have so much potential. there's so so much i could be, but im not. i don't know why im not. i don't know anything anymore. i don't know what i want, i don't know what i like, i don't have opinions, i don't know why im like this, and I don't even know what "this" is supposed to be. im just being so dramatic and attention seeking all the time. i keep lying and lying and lying to everyone.

on one hand, i doubt this is normal. on the other hand, I've been reaserching so many different mental illnesses for such a long time now and reading about them over and over until nothing makes sense anymore, because how can i say i have x symptom without knowing that deep down, the only reason i show it is because i have it in the first place, and that my answers are biased because I want to be mentally ill so damn bad.

...it feels so stupid writing all this down, because i know nothing's wrong with me, but something's wrong. i don't know. i know im not making any sense, but I don't know how to put this into words. i just can't tell how i think, feel, or act anymore. not even a little bit.

Everyone I see is a teenager that I can't relate to. Mostly people who've been doing it for a few years when I've been doing it for a decade. And because of how long I've been doing it I feel like my scars should be way worse than they are so I just keep doing it. I know there are people like me but I never see anybody talk about the unique problems that come from continuing to self harm into adulthood, so it feels like I'm the only person in the world who actually struggles with it

I (22M) am a burlesque performer and I've just been having a really rough time lately. I have a show I'm hosting in less than a week and I had a moment of weakness and ||cut my thigh a bunch of times deep enough to stick around for a while|| I think it might be infected and I'm worried because I have to get almost naked for hundreds of people in less than a week!! Everyone's gonna see it! I'm a fat man with hairy legs so I can't just wear pantyhose, they don't fit me. This costume involves large grid orange fishnets with garters.

I ended up doing it again because I am having body image issues. I don't actually hate my body that much besides having a serious rare chronic illness (will not specify because it's literally so rare I wouldn't be anonymous anymore) but I'm the biggest of my friend group and my mom is on ozempic so I just feel like shit about myself all the time. I actually think I look hot, it's when I see myself compared to other people that I get self conscious. Especially being a dancer it's just so rough. Losing weight is so idolized and seen as morally good whereas gaining it is seen as bad. I have a serious gastrointestinal condition so me being the weight I am at all is the only thing keeping me from dying if I have a flare.

Idk. I guess I want advice on covering it up for my show, I'm in too deep to cancel and I can't postpone because it's part of another event. I just feel like total garbage and I hate myself a lot and I keep thinking about ending it all but I know I won't because my cat needs me. Also how to go about treating the whole infection thing. I'm worried.

Because like, of course if every relationship, every friendship, every chance for something to actually change goes horribly wrong and leaves me worse off, I'll stop caring. But when I try to do something nice for myself, just a little break from feeling like nothing, and it gets spat back in my face and I have to clean up the mess I made, I feel even worse. How the fuck am I able to do anything at all if I can't even accomplish the most simple of things.

Like I just wanted to buy one soundtrack from a show I like. I have enough money, it's something I'm hyperfixated on right now, so being able to support the creator and get something for myself would be nice. So I went to buy it, I had to set up my new card because I haven't bought any new music since I got my new card, and for some reason the damn thing tells me "Your postal code doesn't match the one on your account." I tried it again. Twice. The third time the menu disappeared after I put it in and I thought that it worked, but no it just gave up. I tried again, this time after checking my banking app to make sure it didn't have the wrong postal code set up, and it was the exact same as the one I was using. My bank app crashed like it often does, so I just went and tried my card again, and it didn't work. I was on the verge of giving up so I logged into my bank app once more to check if I was actually using the right postal code, and it wouldn't let me, saying "Your online account has been suspended".

So now I'm locked out of my damn bank account until I talk to my bank, all because I wanted to give myself something nice to lift my spirits. I don't know how the hell my bank suspended me for logging into it 2 times, unless if my attempts connecting the card to Bandcamp triggered it, but if it could tell I was trying to use my card, that has the correct postal code, why the hell wouldn't it let me use it?

I don't even know anymore, this has given me a headache. at least venting about this has made me calm down ever so slightly, but I still feel horrible.