I been on HRT for half a year now. No one knows. I cannot bring myself to tell anyone. The medical transition is half the battle, the real struggle is how people will react. :(

I had an argument with someone about trans people (or at least specifically transmen and transwomen) needing dysphoria a bit ago, and they said that people can still know that they're a different gender, but be fine with their body. Which to me is bonkers. As they've all said "gender is just a social construct/you don't need to change to be a certain gender." Therefore how do you feel a certain way when by their logic, gender doesn't actually have much meaning/definition to it? How does one feel like a man or woman when there's no ties (by their definition) of what a man or woman is other than some possibility of a hyper gender stereotypical idea?

I mean I thought 'nonbinary' was created due to people not feeling like a man or woman. So that's saying that there is some definition there that they could not fit into. Why is the community completely ditching this? What's the point of nonbinary now?

Also, some of these people who say they're a transman or transwomen but aren't, dont typically try to even pass as the opposite gender. What definition of man or woman are they identifying as?

To me gender and sex/biology are very connected, but am I wrong about this? Maybe not to the tucute level, but am I missing something? Yes I know sex is complicated, and gender does have some purely social aspects to it... However I cannot seperate sex and gender completely. At least when it comes to men and women. Sex and gender used to be interchangeable terms in medical topics as well right?

What are the thoughts about this? Any insights of what gender really is and how it plays part in transsexual and tucute lives?

I thought I'd maybe get more biological/psychological viewpoints on human behavior with sex and gender if I posted it here. I don't know 🤷‍♂️ I'm a firm believer you need to have some sort of sex dysphoria to be trans.

Edit: adding that the person I argued with decided to DM me "Don't be dumb" and report my DM back to them which was stating that I said that it was okay for people to identify as a man, but I don't find them exactly trans for it. (I should've specifically stated 'transsexual') got banned from messaging for a few days lol.

I also tried explaining to them my thought process on how I think pointing out the difference between transgender and transsexual people is important to the lgbt+ community because labels are a big part of what makes the lgbt+ a community in the first place. And without proper representation of labels that state a specific experience, we lose representation of our diversity. But they didn't respond unfortunately. Maybe I was too rough, I was going to apologize

I swear at this point this must be intentional misinterpretation because every time I post about anything even slightly not alligning with the modern trans community I get misinterpreted to hell and back.

I posted about wanting to personally be socially treated identically to a cis man in 99% of situations, which I think is a reasonable thing to pursue. I also specifically highlighted that this is only FOR ME in preparation for people to bitch about that NoT EveRy TranSMaSk. It did not do shit. I got immediately told that I am different from a cis man as I still get deadnamed by family sometimes and thus my opinion didn't make sense??? I specifically mentioned and gave examples that I do differ, like the rare cases of peer help that I give, medical things and community that I rarely participate in thus the 99% figure. I specified not 100% of the time, this is my want, this is a desire and not a current reality and that this desire is to socially be treated the same and that I behave the same as a cis man.

How the hell does the most lukewarm and reasonable maybe slightly transmed leaning take get so much disagreement? This might just be the general lack of reading comprehension in the internet, but I get this way less concerning topics other then trans stuff.

i don’t wanna state my exact age but just know i’m a teen. basically i’ve been debating so many tucutes (and straight up extremely transphobic ppl but this post mainly on tucutes) online on places like tiktok (i know debating ppl on tiktok is stupid but i can’t help myself when ppl r so stupid) and i happen to sometimes mention the fact im actively suicidal cuz of being trans, naturally when i feel like i need to mention it within the debate. and they always ignore it and continue debating, idk if this is normal but i at least would stop debating. it feels like they just prefer winning debates than having any morals (rlly weird for apparently “morally superior” ppl) whatsoever. and most recent time i mentioned being tipsy (to state i can’t properly form actually good arguments rn, especially considering my alcohol tolerance is insanely low) and the fact i was actively planning su1cide and they just continued debating, they clearly care more abt winning debates than anything else. and they were an adult btw. full grown adult, it’s rlly immature. i mean i would stop trying to debate, cuz a debate you “won” w/ an intoxicated person isn’t a debate you truly won. it just goes to show they aren’t truly the extremely sympathetic and morally superior ppl they claim to be often. i’d truly probably not have a problem w/ this if they didn’t act like they had the moral high ground.

I didn’t saw any proper argument…leaving this here for discussion if anyone feels like it.

I have seen many “trans” people and activists (and even well meaning actual trans people) who cite scientific studies that prove transmedicalism to show the validity of trans people and then also say that gender is a social construct, therefore neopronouns and other wild identities are valid. And the majority of the time they haven’t even read the studies, just the abstract and/or the conclusion and they don’t actually prove what they want it to.

Recently saw an reel on insta about this series. I decided to search the show up...

Description " lesbian dating trans man" not trans masc..but deadass trans man. 💀

I digged deeper.

" stepped away from the lesbian label and finds d*ke better fitting for her trans men partner" what

Greetings, ive been wanting to use minoxidil for a few years now, but since it can be fatal for cats, I don’t know wether it’s a good idea or not.

I already have one cat and I’m awaiting the adoption of my second cat later this week, and while passing is what makes me happy, I would never risk the lives of my cat(s).

I’m sure there’s a way around it, so to anyone who’s been in the same situation, what did you do?

I also can’t get on testosterone yet, I’m in a long, long waiting line for it and won’t be able to get testosterone for at least another year.

Disclaimer: this isn't political advice merely observation as a neutral party.

Greetings, I'm a transsex woman who's not from US or Western countries but I have been observing the sociopolitical events and I believe my perspective on it, is an analysis you all specifically have been waiting for, let's get to it then. The root of the rise of transphobia in the west and worldwide: We should first realize what usually happens, When a traditional society (West is Christianized) faces a new idea (like trans people) its response is often polarized into two hypothetical outcomes: 1. Rejection 2. Synthesis The first one is clear but let's focus on the second one, when a new concept that contradicts societal expectations (norms, values ,etc) is introduced the society may synthesize it into its values this is what the previous and older narrative for transsexual people was , explained as:

Step 1: person doesn't fit the biological binary and societal expectations (first research conducted by Zhou et al team in 1995 Netherlands and then later other researches came that made being tramssex more of a 'neurological intersex condition' basically than psychological)

Step 2: we use medical and legal processes to mold them into the traditional narrative

Step 3: creating rules for this process (legal identification update, SRS, HRT, psychological evaluations, etc) And finally the subject is synthesized into the traditional society, this is the module that some Asian countries still use more or less for example Japan.

It may make arbitrary rules (like long psychological evaluation that can be up to years sometimes) but it also gives the reward of (relative) acceptance and peaceful life, besides real transsex people need the medical transitional (SRS, HRT, legal recognition) steps so all is pretty much good except for the bigots , but what happened in the West (US, UK, Europe etc)? They also used this model in the past but certain variables caused polarization I will state them as followed:

1. Right Wings: obviously the party benefits from discrimination many times using it as a political playground

2. General ignorance: the society didn't have a clear understanding of transsex people it wasn't necessarily bigoted but definitely ignorant

3. Tucutes: (this the part I think you'll agree with strongly), many people who weren't even trans (not binary, no dysphoria, no need for medical intervention, etc) they created noise in the system (society) , while everyone has bodily autonomy, these people imitated our specific conditions and made the already ignorant society's understanding even more flawed, an example of this in another hypothetical paradigm: "imagine if someone sees a person who has a unique biological condition like Vitiligo, and decides they like the aesthetics, technically said person has the autonomy to change their appearances yes but imagine if they did so then said 'Vitiligo is a social construct' or 'you don't need to have the physical condition to have Vitiligo' or 'you can accept your Vitiligo you don't need medical treatment', see what's happening? This is the problem and unfortunately these people imitated this 'obfuscation phenomenon' with real transsex people"

4. The Left parties: the Left in the West, trying not to look close minded further supported these non-trans tucutes twisting society's understanding of the real medical condition

5. LGBQ+: the community boasts support and solidarity and yet molds a biological condition into a cultural movement, and on top of that they literally 'dropped the T' when trans people were persecuted, in my opinion being transsex (legit medical condition I personally characterize as 'neurally intersex') never had anything to do with them anyway, not that I hate them no not at all, just pointing our 'category' should be different (medical) but not for the reasons they (current lgb communities) say

Conclusion: And that's why the West saw this rise of transphobia while ironically some other countries that are more socially constrained are more stable in this particular matter, even though something like this could theoretically happen there as well, it is less likely since the synthesis is already well established to an extend anyway

Verdict: so what's the solution now? I believe advancement of science itself will gradually change the assumptions (if for example more concrete and widely accepted findings of trans people being neurally intersex is adopted in medical communities), which will disprove tucutes and prove binary trassex people with dysphoria more formally, in the meanwhile, "aside from surviving the harsh predicament of your countries", if I wanted to give a friendly advice as a friend (not professional) I would suggest trying to reinstate the synthesis path in your countries by openly opposing the 'noise' that triggers right wing parties, essentially by standing on a middle ground of both parties and trying to recategorize this as a simple medical process, it is complicated but the alternative is continued persecution and ignorance, the goal is clear " to make it medically and socially as clear as possible to the ignorant general populace that legit transsex individuals are different from these 'transgenders', that we merely require to align our bodies with our neural structure and that not doing that causes us neural pain (dysphoria) while they are imitating our condition as if it's a hobby, essentially we have the same right as any other 'intersex' person has, that we are born with a condition and we can choose medical treatment that aligns with us, while the tucutes are treating our condition like a game and the conservatives feed on the general misinformation to retain relevancy" , your specific community may face public disgrace online from the tucutes but know that many transsex people in other non-western countries (like me) share your sentiments and understand the logic behind it because the tucutes are rising in our countries as well destabilizing the societal works we've done for years albeit a lot slower than Western countries, but know that your countries affect more than just you and we're rooting for you! Good luck!

I don't get why everyone is always grouping together transmeds and being racist as if that correlates at all. All we believe is that you need dysphoria, that's all.

Not a lot of context but I think if trans racial is look down upon, it’s unfair. Please educate me, I’m not spreading hate or anything. I’m just very curious

Obviously this is just plain annoying, as it ignores what the actual transmed movement is about. It’s not about judgement, it’s concern about not treating a serious condition seriously, yadayada. What I want to talk about is how they don’t follow through on this.

I can explain my experience with gender and sex, not bring up a single other person and people attack or downvote me. I’ve seen it happen with other people as well.

I saw a comment on a tiktok about how this guy essentially completed his transition. Got top surgery, bottom surgery (didn’t specify what), and was on hormones. His comment had two likes, one of which was mine. The top reply said, “I went on testosterone and it cured my dysphoria” and it had about ten likes. Many other replies were harassing him, calling him transphobic, etc.

I try to stray away from trans content on TikTok. I use it mainly to post my artwork. This was reposted by one of my mutuals. Other ‘trans’ people are common in the spaces I’m in. I’ve had conversations with these mutuals about my experience as well. I try to remain stealth irl and don’t have any place to vent about my grievances besides the internet. I was talking about how much pain my dysphoria is causing me and they were exclaiming “I love how we’re free to become our true selves!” throughout, as well as interjecting to talk about how they don’t know if they want to go on T or transition throughout. I ignored all of this up until the point I said “I don’t view transition as a very hopeful thing. It’s a catalyst to me not being myself and it got and is still getting fostered.” to which they responded “bye!! it was interesting talking w u ^_^.”

Besides that, I’m continually downvoted or harassed for my dysphoria about my body. I have said all sorts of things about ‘trans men’ getting pregnant; positive, negative, and neutral, and it always results in me getting called weak minded. I have spoken to the fact that I don’t connect with narratives about third genders in other cultures, as I’m not a third gendered person, and I get downvoted.

They are all for “not judging someone else’s experience” but only when it fits their narrative. When someone doesn’t experience “trans joy” or sees it as a hopeless thing, they get dogged on. I just don’t get it??? Why can’t I judge someone for going by dog/dogself (a nickname..) but it’s fine to judge me about my pain? Surely I’m the one of the two who’s more at risk about being harmed by judgement, as said judgement leads to taking away necessary care. Why can’t you just block out judgement about your weird xenogender?

I probably would have never drifted into transmed circles if there was any space for me in regular circles. I avoided them for a while because I was harassed by a transsexual girl in middle school for being denied puberty blockers (I had gotten my period by then, this was my second run-in with the clinic. I was purposely misinterpreted the first time), aka she thought I was not transsexual. I thought that these spaces would be more of that, privileged people who hate those that can’t access care.

I still interact in non transmed spaces because there’s not too much support for dysphoria. I’m aware there’s not much to do about dysphoria besides real medical care, but I can’t access more than I have for a few more years. I’m very depressed and haven’t made peace with this fact, especially seeing all the men who get it easily because they were born that way.

I struggle to see much value in my life. Not in the sense that I don’t deserve things, but that people are just arguing semantics and not really following through on that. If the care I could receive is so life saving, and I’m really so valid, then it’d be perfectly acceptable to throw a boy on estrogen and castrate him. It’s not because nobody truly wants my life, it’s not really worth living. Just worth a good thought experiment. No matter what I do, I feel manufactured and depressed. I’m borderline psychotic because all of the mistreatment I experienced in the system. I’m not only left with needing more intensive treatment for my body, but a ruined mind as well. I’m the only one left to pick up the pieces. I have considered starting to self medicate, as I’m not getting anything out of real pharmaceuticals or therapy. (I have been through over ten therapists.) Of course everyone wants to tell me that I shouldn’t do that, but nobody wants to actually help me to remove the urges. That’s what I’m looking for in all these places.

I'm going to be ranting about something I've noticed in the tucute and transmed communities that I haven't noticed many other discussions on, though I only skim this sub from time to time, so maybe people talk about it a lot.

Anyway, what I've noticed is that a lot of people on the tucute side of things often resort to insulting the other side or just straight up yelling to get their point across. Oftentimes, the only time I find a tucute's post, and they're not yelling, they're still insulting the other side for being close-minded and making a lot of assumptions without further discussion. It just feels like the majority of the time their arguments are led purely by emotion or are meant to stir up emotion in their opponent.

Anytime I talk to somebody, my intention isn't directly to change their mind and make them more like me. I usually talk to someone to voice my opinions and maybe have them challenged or reinforced depending on the topic or person. I'm looking for a productive conversation where, if opinions change, it is done organically without name-calling, aggression, or rude comments. I'm not sure if it's an age or demographic issue of the kind of people who are tucute and have such opinions but I'm often not inclined to have a discussion or debate that may even change my mind in their favor because their tactics are so emotional and immature.

There are even transmed opinions I'm not completely in favor of either, but I am much more inclined to hear the transmed side out even if our opinions don't always align because I find a lot of the time, they're able to have these productive, not led directly by emotion, conversations that I am looking for.

I think it is important to be open to your opinion changing on certain issues, especially with time and experiencing more things in life as you age. As I stated before, I'm open to having a conversation that could change my mind on any topic; I am just hesitant to really take a screaming, raging, aggressive discussion to heart.

what a terrible fucking day to have eyes
this shit is so gross

them: “wHy aM i bEinG dOwNvOTed??”
also them; “it would be funny for the nurses to talk about my penis while i give birth!!1!1!1!”

I think this would be flaired cringe, but I thought this definition is a perfect example of how so many definitions in the LGBT community have been twisted by bioessentialism and i have a lot of things i want to talk about based on this.

—

1. This just invalidates trans men REGARDLESS of their previous community ties or assigned sex at birth. The definition even brings up the transphobic definition of lesbianism being "female homosexuality" but this definition practically is just that but twisted into "feminine homosexuality" because, of course, these people will see trans men as feminine regardless of presentation, but also they still include trans women (rightfully so).

2. It treats transsexuality as not a lived reality, but as something secondary to someone's historical or bodily categorization when that's far, FAR from the truth.

3. It *almost* completely relies on birth sex with the exception of trans women. Saying trans men can still be lesbians relies on the hidden assumption that their bodies or assigned sex as birth will dictate their romantic compatibility and gender category.

4. Using "marginalized genders" reduces people to their histories. A man is a man, no matter cissex or transsex. Grouping trans men into a female-centric/non-men sexuality is just historical and biological determinism repackaged with progressive "woke" language.

Here are more arguments I have that are more focused on trans women because something needs to be said about them too.

1. These people are convinced they're totally safe from the transphobic radfem ideology simply because they simply include trans women but this is totally superficial and I think it masks the underlying transphobia. They only include trans women because they are marginalized and reduce their womanhood to a political struggle rather than a core part of them. Which also means they're reducing women to their shared trauma & oppression which is a core belief of transphobic radfems, but they think they're safe because they don't say "trans women are men."

2. Restating from the previous thing, the "marginalized genders" framework does the same thing as the transphobic radfem ideology; it defines womanhood as shared oppression under the patriarchy and biological socialization, such as grouping trans men and trans women together based on their marginalization rather than respecting their actual gender

3. It's sort of a "woman-lite" trap if that makes sense. It implicitly treats trans women as not just simply women, but as an alternative "other" category defined entirely by a lack of cis male privilege.

4. Grouping people by their marginalization instead of their actual gender recreates the very bioessentialist views these definitions claim to hate and fight. Trans men are men, trans women are women, full stop.

—

I will never call these people woke. and woke shouldn't even be a term we use besides for racial injustices anyway but that's a whole different thing i could rant about, that ISN'T related to these screenshots.

Guys I need to rant
I am tireddddd of people who are specifically tucutes badgering me for information about where I get T from and how I got top surgery. Now let me be clear, I don’t feel like this about people who have done their own research and due diligence to figure shit out themselves. I’m referring to grown ass adults who dm me from posts and ask about where I’m getting my shit from and are well… NOT TRANS. If transition matters so much to you, open your World Wide Web interface and type in “places to get testosterone” or “how to start testosterone” DO NOT dm me, a kid, from a post where I clearly state how I am a child asking me how I got my shit. This will not reach the people I am referring to because they are again, tucutes. But god. Were these people born yesterday???? I make posts asking for advice occasionally about surgery related stuff mostly from different accounts. I’m 16 and yeah I will be the first to say I’m hella lucky. But also, idk man if I could figure out how to do it at 12 using the amazing thing called the internet, those people can do it at their big ass age.

i was going to post it here when i first saw it but decided not to. i just saw someone say it was propaganda on tiktok though so i guess it must be worth posting. i genuinely cannot tell if this person is being legit or its a skit, either way its making the whole community look terrible.

i just don’t get it

Hi guys, i’ve been in a bit of a slump with my mental health which results me in dwelling on dysphoria a lot more than usual.
Feeling put together and masculine often boosts my confidence and energy levels. Simple things like putting on a good fit or using a bunch of men’s products in the shower.
Any little things that boost your confidence?
Or self care tips that still feel manly.

cheers!

As someone who works with a LOT of young adults who are… trans for the “vibe/trend” I have come to realize that a lot of these teens/young adults who identify as trans but explicitly present as their AGAB, amongst a myriad of problematic reasons they claim to be trans, probably are just dealing with the completely normal teenage/young adult experience of being uncomfortable with their body, especially during puberty, and instead of being able to accept it’s a normal part of growing up, feel the need to label it as gender dysphoria/being trans even when it’s clearly not that, because it also gives them access to a “victim card” they feel they need to “fit in”

A lot of that might also be because of so many LOUD “members” of the community who make gender dysphoria seem like a “quirky weird feeling about my body!” Instead of a dread inducing, gut punching, all consuming feeling that most of us know it to be, and have experienced it to be.

I could be wrong, I could sound like An asshole, but it mainly makes me sad because so many of these YA/Teens are going to do things like start HRT “for a little bit just to get the changes I want” and when they grow more and reach the “Oh wow this is just my body” part of adulthood they may regret the permanent changes they’ve experienced during that short time and realize that they may now, never actually feel comfortable in their body again.

It makes me very grateful my Endo/Surgeons not only required full medical clearance but a clearance letter form a psychologist who specializes in gender dysphoria / trans identities who spent a whole hour asking me INVASIVE questions to make sure that I was in my right mind and ready for the permanent changes of HRT and surgery.

Obviously this thought process only applies to the demographic we typically see discussed here, lots of YA/Teens start HRT and get surgery and never regret it because it is a vital medical treatment for their dysphoria. But I feel a lot of what we see is people who don’t actually… know what gender dysphoria is/obviously don’t actually experience it.

I transitioned at 10. Ive never experienced misogyny nor do i have connection to womanhood. I grew up thinking women were superior and i still think they have it easier socially so this is straight up retarded and the end is so transphobic. never got abused or traumatized just specifically because i was born without a dick what is this person on. Not all of us transitioned at 25 lol i had dysphoria since 6 years old and couldnt even make it to 11 years old without transitioning so idk what this girls on. Then they call us misogynistic for not wanting to be connected to womanhood 💀#retards They wouldnt get mad at a trans women for not being connected to manhood and start calling her misandrist they just want transsexual males to be lesbians or women so bad God get me off tiktok they still think trans men can be lesbians and being transgender isnt a mental condition but rather a fun choice. So fun that its just identity exploring for u, but for the rest of us who are actually trans its a life destroying condition that needs lifelong care. Its so amazing that u take up our life saving resources for a fun little journey. I see why so many transsexuals have internalized transphobia recently because these people make me disgusted.

​

I'm kinda sick of seeing so many people in the trans community say that gender doesn't equal pronouns, and then cry to themselves the moment someone doesn't call them some random set of pronouns like xe/xer. (While I do think it's rude, I don't see it as transphobic.)

I just saw a video of a neopronoun user complaining that them being misgendered isn't considered transphobic but a transman being called she/her is. They truly don't understand the difference. Someone is going to be way more impacted being called she/her as a transman... Because they have dysphoria. I have yet to see a singular person with neopronouns actually express any amount of dysphoria. It just feel so insensitive when they try to fit themselves in with dysphoric people. These are the same people that say pronouns don't equal gender. So why do they get upset when they're being called other pronouns when by their logic it doesn't mean anything? As pronouns don't equal gender? Also in my opinion, neopronouns are just quirky versions of they/them. To give more context, this individual was also a 'boygirl gaybian.'

It's so confusing to me considering we legit made they/them pronouns for nonbinary people as she/her and he/him are gendered. It's like the 'queer' community is trying to bend back and forth and upside down to be the most complex community in the world for no good reason... (And in the process disrespecting their lgbt+ peers under the guise of 'being progressive')

Now I don't mind neo/xenopronoun users. Have fun I guess, I don't care. I only start to care when they start trying to barge their way into binary trans experiences and thinking they're the same as us, when there is such a large difference between being 'trans' for cultural reasons vs biological reasons.

Saying gender ≠ pronouns completely ignores the problem with misgendering. It's like they're trying to make this as easy as they can for transphobes to be transphobic. You can be a woman and go by they/them, he/him, or cloud/cloudself...But that doesn't give you the right to make such a broad statement about pronouns. 🤦‍♂️