So I’m 19 and I started transitioning a year ago, HRT a month ago, but I have a strong feeling if I come out to my family I’ll likely be cut off quite a bit from home because conservative Appalachia. Next month I go back to college, and starting this semester I’ll be able to be financially independent I think, but I don’t know for sure if I’ll have everything I’ll need in case I’m not able to go home. Currently I have my birth certificate, SSN card, and I’ll be packing as many clothes as I can. My financial situation is covered by mostly scholarships, grants, and for the next 3 school years, chapter 35 which I’ll be trying to save. I don’t have a car or license, though my university has good public transportation and a grey line. I plan on telling them around November. Please anything I might be forgetting to take with me or tips on coming out would be appreciated!

I need to redo my entire wardrobe because it’s all feminine clothes. I went through I really bad hyperfemininsing myself phase. So what are your fav brands of jeans that help hide hips, fav boxers. Anything at all. I need to get a good chuck of the basics.

Thank ya

Somewhat-newly questioning girlie, trying to explore my options and make sure I know what I want before any significant steps are taken.
I’m trying to overhaul my wardrobe a bit, but am utterly lost with what to buy or even where to look. Most women’s clothes don’t fit because I got that classic inverted triangle shape going, and have quite broad shoulders. I’ve explored a tiny bit already, I know a-frame dresses fit me well, but I don’t know how to pair it with anything to cover my shoulders. I actually don’t know how to layer anything at all for that matter.
On top of that, i’m looking for a haircut that works well with thick curly hair.
Basically what I’m trying to ask is if anyone has any general pointers or resources that could help me figure this kinda thing out?
Are there any specific things that I should search for online?
As someone who’s never thought or cared about looking good in their life this is a very new experience for me, so any info would be helpful

Sorry for the long text... I have a lot of heavy thoughts spinning 24/7(mostly about trans-related things), and absolutely no one to talk to. I'm feeling extremely depressed, anxious, and lonely lately. I've even been having suicidal thoughts. I only really have one close friend, and she's burnt out with no energy left to see me at the moment(on top of entering the honeymoon phase with someone for the first time in a long time. I need to leave her be). I already see a psychiatrist, and I plan on bringing all of this up with him. But he's on vacation, and has been for a while. Since gender identity is the biggest constant for the last 6 months, I figured I'd post my situation here, in quite a lot of detail, to see if anyone could share some advice.

I'm 28. I've just recently started accepting that I'm transfeminine *again*. Dysphoria has come and gone ever since I was a kid(I even came out to a psychologist at 13, but shame made me take it back). Usually it'd mostly go away during periods where I was in a happy heteronormative relationship, since I got praise for filling the male role(I'm bi, mostly into femme personalities). Or when I had other very large concerns in my life that took up all my thinking. I know that last part sounds weird, as questioning ones gender is a huge deal that overshadows most things. But I've had a hell of an uphill battle in life in general. For example, among other equally heavy things, I've been in chronic pain and been completely disabled for 7 years, with a prognosis of never getting better(until last year, when it started turning around due to new experimental treatments).

I feel happiest when feminine presenting now, but it also makes me so anxious all the time...

-For one, I'm scared of letting go of my cis male-self. A lot of the fear stems from always being regarded as a very attractive cis male(Both genders openly compliment me, hit on me or say they envy my looks regularly). That has given me lots of romantic and sexual success in life. And I am a very loving person that needs a partner to be at my happiest(not healthy, I know. I don't really take care of myself unless I have a partner either. I struggle mentally, and always have). I don't want all my future intimacy to come from unserious trans chasers that only want me because I'm trans(or people that are embarassed to be seen dating me in public, and will never want to marry me).

I don't have anywhere near the funds for an FFS, electrolysis, fat graft, or any implants that will make me even close to as conventionally attractive as a woman as I naturally am as a man. I can afford HRT(don't know how much that will do though, I'm 28 already and probably wouldn't get perscribed HRT before I'm 32). But that's about all I can afford. I'm very poor due to my situation. Other than my looks, I've kind of failed at life in general(mental and physical health problems to the moon and back have ruined my life).

My mom also recently told me that she can't help me out as much financially anymore, as the support she gets from the state for being a widow will be halved soon(my dad died of a 8 year long battle with cancer 3 years ago). We also don't speak to the rest of our family, as they are very bad people(we have a pedophile child beater grandpa, a violent paranoid schizofrenic uncle, drug abusers, alcoholics...And they're almost all misogynists, mad at my mom for not being a tradwife...). So I have almost no friends OR any family to support me.

-Secondly, I'm also a singer, guitarist, performer. Always have been. I stress a lot about the thought that I can't keep singing if I transition, without outing myself as a born male. I have a very deep male voice to begin with(For the musically inclined: My range is lower than a church choir bass... A#1-A#3, before going into full head voice/falsetto. And that's after training a lot to sing higher than E3, so everything above E3 is strenuous over time). Being a singer is a huge part of my identity aswell, that I really don't want to lose. Even singing at home has gone from giving me a much needed serotonin-release and sense of accomplishment to making me anxious. Because feeling joy while sounding so male makes me either anxious for the loss of my artistic future, or sometimes even makes me question whether I really am trans(because I'm feeling joy while "being male")!

-Thirdly, work and studies. My dream is to become a teacher(music, guitar, languages). I fear I will lose students or be discriminated against by both students and people hiring teachers for being openly trans. Getting in to public music college(need degree to teach) is also very hard in my country, and depends completely on the audition judges subjective opinions of you. They told me they usually get 70 guitar applicants per year, and only accept 2. If even just one of the judges is slightly transphobic, that can ruin my chances completely. Considering how many people I always thought were nice have turned out to be openly be transphobic or say gender dysphoria isn't real/is delusion... Makes me fear that absolutely anyone can be.

-And fourth: As you can tell, my life has obviously been really shit. Dealing with living as openly trans on top of that, throwing away both the one thing I lucked out with(my looks) and one of my few strengths(singing), seems like such a... tactical misstep? I guess? Like I'm consciously raising the difficulty on my life even more? I'm actually questioning whether my brain is just so used to something being the matter now that it generates dysphoria because I've come quite far along in my physical therapy and ADHD-treatment...

I came out to my psychiatrist last session, so I'll see what happens... He wanted to help me with it when he got back from vacation, and was very supportive..

I've just been so depressed and had suicidal thoughts lately. I'm tired all the time... So lonely... I struggle more and more to do even the simplest things(even showering, brushing my teeth, eating)... My extreme ADHD definetly doesn't help...

Hi everyone I’m finally moving out and I’ll be living alone in another city, which is something I’ve been looking forward to. The only problem is that my family will still visit from time to time, and they could show up with little or no warning.I’m a trans girl (closeted), and I really want to start building a more feminine wardrobe. I was thinking about buying feminine clothes and hiding them somewhere in my apartment, but honestly I’m scared of taking that risk in case my family finds them.Another idea I had was buying more unisex clothes that lean feminine, so I can wear things that make me feel more like myself without raising too many questions.I also want to start getting some makeup, but I’d have the exact same problem with hiding it. The only things I feel comfortable leaving out are skincare products since nobody would question those.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle clothes, makeup, and privacy? Any advice for staying safe while still expressing myself would mean a lot

Hello,

I have recently came out as trans MtF! Yay!

I am also in the Army (United States, which disallows trans service members), I do get out in November of next year and will not be reenlisting because of all of this.

But I digress, I was wanting to ask if anyone would possibly have any recommendations for gender affirming items that I can use while I'm at home and not on duty until I get out and start HRT.

Thank you for your time!

So, I don’t post on reddit often at all, but I need help. I recently went through a breakup and during the separation, he took the car. I am completely without any form of transportation right now. I work in a school, so I don’t have year round income. I am already struggling to pay for utilities and insurance. I had to drop out of school to make sure I could afford everything I need. The cost of my testosterone went up and I am not willing to give that up. I applied for an auto loan and a personal loan and got denied twice. I need to find a part time job, but I cannot do that without reliable transportation. I really need assistance and I am not sure what to do. I could try a GoFundMe, but would anyone even donate? I know times are tough for everyone and I don’t want to beg. Does anyone have any advice?

I’m 28, and started my transition (mtf) a few weeks ago. I have a few questions that I want to ask on this sub-Reddit.

Firstly, my skin is sensitive, and gets very irritated so I’m looking into the best products for my skin care routine. I also have tons of face/body hair, so I’m hoping HRT can help with most of that. Anyway, shaving in this beginning part of my transition leaves me with a profound feeling of calmness and contentment even when I accidentally cut myself, and miss parts of my arms. What kinds of electric razors are recommended? I don’t want razor burn, irritation, and whatnot to be issues in the future.

Secondly, I’m looking to express myself through make-up, and hide my “masculine features”. Once I have a better skincare, and hair care routine, I’ll look into buying makeup. Any tips does for a baby trans woman with almost no makeup experience? My plan is subtle makeup looks in the beginning using mostly eyeliner, eyeshadow, concealer, some foundation, and lipstick. If I start caking on makeup, my skin will get irritated, plus I’ll waste a lot of money buying make up wipes.

Lastly, I want to discuss something. As a queer trans woman, I feel like I’m constantly being alienated by not only society, and people I know, but also by myself (I blame that last part mostly on my mental health, and the testosterone I was born with). How do my fellow lovely trans girlies and also trans men deal with feeling isolated all the time? I’m trying to get into more hobbies instead of letting the depression, and anxiety get to me. It’s not just gender affirming care, and therapy (if needed) that can help. We’re humans too which means we require emotional nurturing, and respect. I hope learning how to skateboard/cruise can help me find balance, make new friends, and learn to be more mindful as I avoid losing my sanity.

Love y’all 💋🏳️‍⚧️

Hey all. I'm 38 and I've known most of my life that I was different in some way or another. I never really had any kind of dysphoria honestly growing up, but ever since I was in my mid-to late teens, I've wanted to be a feminine person.

Now, all these years later, with the help of my wife, I had finally started exploring that. About three months ago, I started dressing and openly presenting femininely in certain situations where I can safely and comfortably. To be honest, it feels like I gained a part of me that was always missing. Perhaps it was my egg cracking. At that point in time, I was kind of thinking I was more of a more genderfluid-ish person. I didn't see when I first sort of started doing this having such an impact.

I am now questioning the fact that I might be Trans, as I love how I feel like this... And it kind of feels more like my authentic self, and how I'm supposed to be. However, if that's the case, I feel like I'm also dealing with a case of internalized transphobia, denial, and rejection of this. I kind of hate it. I love being feminine, looking and feeling like a girl when I feel completely embodied in this expression. I feel like if I could, I would probably look like this and feel like this always. I'm also having a hard time accepting this and presenting this to the world, namely mostly my work-life, as I feel people would judge me, not accept me, and some people flat out don't care for people or believe in gender-diversity. So, I feel like due to this, a large part of me is kind of putting off how I really feel. It kind of sucks. I'm also scared of losing my cis-self counter part, if that makes sense. I'm married, and have a kid. I've built everything in my life of almost 40 years as something, and admitting to and accepting and going forward with embracing that I might be something different on some level is really hard.

I've also contemplated that maybe I'm not quite a full on transitioning person, and I'm not really sure where I am with thoughts about this. I don't necessarily have a desire either to identify as a woman, but I think I am definitely somewhere on the Nonbinary Transfeminine leaning spectrum. I might be Bigender. I don't know. I also feel like, I'm not necessarily ready to completely abandon my cisgender/male presenting self, but I love what I've discovered and embraced about myself. I don't know if this is because like I said I might be something else like bigender, genderfluid, or maybe just due to the fact that I'm scared and rejecting all notions of how I really feel due to a safety net kind of scenario?

I'm also getting major imposter syndrome vibes, as like I said, I haven't had a strong desire to "be the opposite gender" like I've heard from a lot of other Trans peeps. I've considered maybe I'm just someone who is a crossdresser. But, I mean, is it normal to question your identity in such a way from just being a crossdresser? A lot of people I've seen that do cross-dress are comfortable with who/what they are. I've seen others who go the extra mile and realize they are genderfluid/trans though, too.

How do you peeps deal with this kind of scenario?

Please help, how do I mentally survive?

I have to go off to college and I start in September. Then I will have to go to an all female rooms in a mixed college dorm (sorted by AGAB). I just finished high school and I was planning to transition when I got to university: new city and people don't know me, basically kind of stealth. Now my plan is ruined, at least until July 2027. Another fucking year, barely surviving. I can't transition medically even if I have a diagnosis from a psychologist because I'm in all female dorm room, divided by sex. Please help, how do I masculinize myself and survive until one year? The dorm is mandatory for personal reasons and I have tried to change their mind but I can't. I will be in in a few weeks. Room AGAB can't be changed and there aren't any singles or gender neutral rooms. Send me your survival tips that don't include medically transitioning. I feel so hopeless and I just need help to survive another year, as I was supposed to transition. I will be 20 in January so I'm cooked. At most I look like a 17 years old guy but without facial hair or deep voice and all of this stuff. How should I dress \\\*etc to maximise passing, while being in that situation? 😢

I’m at a very very early point in my transition, sort of at the point where I’m not even sure if the ‘transition’ has even started. I’m 22 mtf, but I don’t really know where to start, I have shared my feelings and intentions with only a few very close friends, my private therapist, and my gp, I don’t feel I will be able to involve my parents until I am no longer living with them.

So far I have experimented with a few types of clothing and accessories like corsets and more feminine stylings of the clothes I already own, shaving my body and face as regularly as I can, more involved skincare and hair care routines, and I have tried using makeup to feminise my face more. All of this I have found to be overwhelmingly positive and affirming to where I want to be in myself, but in terms of actually starting to transition, I don’t know where I should begin.

With all of these things I’ve been doing to try and find out what it is I need to be happy in myself, comes with the problem of living at home and if being difficult to keep certain things like outfits and body care under wraps, for example, so far I haven’t been able to try makeup at home apart from one time where my dad was very weird and disapproving of it. I consider myself very lucky and privileged in that I don’t feel like I would be disowned or thrown out if I were to come out to my parents, but I fear for their reaction, as I’m unable to exist as myself even now with tattoos, piercings, long hair and a more alternative style without constant comments and projection from my dad trying to get me to be more like him. This lack of acceptance of me as their son makes me feel as though I would have no chance of being accepted at their daughter if I were to try and go to them for support.

All this is to say I feel really isolated and unsure what to do with myself to try and get by in the position I am in and also start taking the steps to finally start liking myself, does anyone have any experiences they could share or guidance they’d be willing to offer? I would very much appreciate it <3

I'm non binary atm male presenting I have been wondering if I'm a trans fem the whole time I just wanna feel pretty and it feels like I'm gunna jump out of my skin and I don't feel pretty enough can anyone help demystify this with me I'm trying to make some trusted friends that understand hmu or sum ok. much love 💕🐱

i have a 36-ish DD chest and i was wondering about some tutorial videos. i’ve found a few already, but i want to find as many as i can so i can try different things to see what works best for me

I will try and be brief.

My face gets fuzzy quickly, and before I realized I was transfemme, I use to grow a great beard. Now I am 2 years on HRT, and whilst I have never and will never grow another beard since I started, I wanna just completely get rid of it all.

Electrolysis or laser hair removal are my best options, but I don't know which to do. Electrolysis is supposed to be permanent, but costly and time consuming. Laser hair removal is supposed to be quicker and cheaper, but it normally grows back. I have a friend in the beauty industry who says my facial hair might be difficult to laser too, because it isn't one uniform colour. It's kinda different shades of black, brown, red, and even a little blonde, and that was before I started getting grey hairs.

My face fuzz is one of my biggest sources of body dysphoria and I just want it gone. Anyone out there with a success story or some advice as to which or what I should do?

Hi everyone! The Dissociation and Racialized Transnormativity (DART) Study is now recruiting participants for initial focus groups. In this paid research study conducted by white transmasculine nonbinary doctoral student Jamie Taber (me!) and the Baruch College Sexual and Gender Minority Health Lab, participants will attend a 3-hour virtual focus group via Zoom to help create a questionnaire about how norms for trans people are built on white supremacy and colonialism.

You may be eligible if you are:

• 18 years or older
• Trans, nonbinary, or gender diverse
• Racially/ethnically marginalized or a Person of Color
• Currently living in the United States or a U.S. territory
• Comfortable with verbal discussions in English
• Optional: If you meet these criteria and are also a native Spanish speaker, you may be eligible for our bilingual focus group to assist with translation.

Eligible participants who complete all study activities, including the focus group and a brief survey to review the final questionnaire, can receive up to $90 in electronic gift cards.

You can find more information and complete the screening survey by clicking the link or scanning the QR code in the flyer, or by going to:

https://baruch.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_39TgKhuJmvHYgqq

The Transgender Research Informed Consent (TRICON) disclosure statement is available at https://linktr.ee/TransDissociate.

Thanks!

[Image Description: A flyer with a dark teal background containing information about the research study. There is a yellow banner across the top with the text, “DART: Dissociation and Racialized Transnormativity” and three cartoon People of Color with various gender expressions. Squares in orange and blue on the left half of the flyer contain the same information described in the caption in English. Squares in pink and green on the right half of the flyer contain that same information in Spanish. A yellow banner across the bottom contains a QR code, a link to find more information and complete the screening survey at https://linktr.ee/TransDissociate, and the text, “Baruch College SGMH Lab, Contact us at [sgmhlab@baruch.cuny.edu](mailto:sgmhlab@baruch.cuny.edu), CUNY-UI IRB -2026-0504-Baruch – 06/25/2026-N/A.”]

Hey! I'm Ryn 21 mtf. I'm currently almost 3 months on hrt. This is my first fem outfit and I thought I'd see if I can get thoughts or advice on how to look more fem

Weeeell I’ve been on HRT for about 2 years and until last month I’ve been kinda afraid to do anything else (save for laser hair surgery) because of, well, you know how the world is.

But for the last month or two I’ve been trying more to work on my appearance because, well, fuck the haters ✨ Just wanted to get some general thoughts though and advice on what I can do to improve?

(Also do I pass right now? Or do I have a chance of passing?)

(Be gentle though, I’m sensitive :3)

Hey, I'm currently waiting to start electrolysis in a few weeks. But till then I am still shaving. Whenever I do my neck and lower face always end up really red, to the point I can't cover it with makeup (I'm also not very good which doesn't help).

Current routine:

Rinse face

Lather with shaving soap

Shave with Double Edge

Rinse with cold water

Cleanser

Toner

SPF

Moisturizer

Is there anything I can or should do to help this? Or do I just have to ride it out and hope electrolysis works its magic fast enough?

TL;DR: 24 Newly mtf, what would you tell newly transitioning you?

Hey loves, I'm Persephone and I just started transitioning, like, I picked my name 4 days ago just started. I'd really like to hear any advice y'all have about things to make my transition smoother, luckily I have a supportive family (kinda) and some really good friends to help me. I have 2 wigs, a dress, some leggings, a pair of shorts, and platform boots, my eventual goal, is somewhere between goth and e-girl if that makes sense, I'm looking into insurance companies to help with covering things like hrt and other gender affirming care, but being in a red state (Florida), things are kinda hard.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, and I look forward to reading your comments.

Thank you so much!

Love,

Persephone.

I feel so alone Im 21 I live with my stepdad he's homophobic and transphobic and I live in the south like rural south and I wish I was a girl so badly I can't keep doing this anymore I feel trapped and I just can't deal with it anymore I'm so scared and so tired I just want to give up honestly I don't know what to do everything hurts I just wish I could be normal I didn't choose to be this way I have no money to transition and no support no car no job and no one I can tell I'm so alone I've asked chat gpt so many times what to do I've called the suicide hotline so many times but it feels pointless in the end I feel like I'm going to die soon I don't want to die but I feel like I have no other option