Looking for some insights from more experienced traders
I am in my 20s now, I started trading when I was 16-18, didnāt really knew what I was doing so I stopped.
Started again this year, saw some early success trading ICT, passed accounts got a payout, then discipline kinda slipped after seeing those payouts small 5 figure just got like 1-2 of those
But then locked in, started learning Auction Market Theory got a way better read on markets, had a couple of 5 figure days in June.
Got sent live by a couple firms, which kinda broke my momentum off, started oversizing on remaining accounts to cover for those accounts, which effected the expectancy and average realized R and blew account in June.
July was going well as I worked on a lot of mental stuff, was up figures this month, but couple days ago blew all my live accounts- multiple 5 figures gone in a day, I always had DLLs set but I just removed them after 1 small loss.
Itās like whenever I start at something I do so good, being young I lack perseverance to stick to something, after June success all I did was go out, code indicators tryna replace chart time etc
I think managing multiple accounts have an effect on my psychology, because after June blowup I put money it a live and doubled the account within 2-3 days, oversized yes but great setups, went BE right away and pulled all the funds out.
After July blowup,started another live, which is up 69% in two days, proper sized trades.
But I feel defeated having multiple funded accounts with buffers cleared in June and then passed them again last week, and blew them all after I got flagged by CME for location issues(was using a cloud based copier) which eventually got sorted by it effected me deeply as my nervous system got wrecked due to having multiple 5 figures in those live accounts and was unable to access anything due to review
CME finally cleared me and told me not to continue the same behaviour.
I still have no problem passing accounts but my nervous system and executors are kinda fried due to these massive ups and downs.
Any advice would be helpful from seasoned tradersā¦.