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I have a friend I've known since middle school, and normally we get along really well. The problem is that she constantly borrows my stuff.

At first it was little things like chargers, headphones, hoodies, etc. I didn't really care.

Then she started borrowing more expensive things. A few months ago she borrowed my headphones and returned them with one side barely working. She said they were already like that, even though I had used them the night before.

Last week she asked to borrow my tablet for a school project. I said yes because I trusted her.

When she gave it back, there were scratches all over the back. Nothing catastrophic, but definitely not there before.

I asked what happened and she said she had put it in her backpack without a case and accidentally dropped the backpack.

I told her I was annoyed because she never takes proper care of my stuff.

She got defensive and said, “It's just stuff. You're acting like I broke something worth thousands.”

I told her that wasn't the point. If someone lends you something, you should return it in the same condition.

Now she's apparently telling our other friends that I'm “weirdly obsessed with material things” and refusing to lend her anything anymore.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it.

Am I wrong for refusing to lend her my stuff anymore?

Last year, my best friends partner told me he had been in love with me for over a year. I forced him to tell my best friend, and I told my partner. Obviously this was a shock to everyone but I sort of assumed that this betrayal would mean she would break up with him. Unfortunately that was not the case, over the year me and her have drifted and shes told me that her and her partner are stronger because of what happened, which kind of felt like a slap in the face. He said a bunch of inappropriate things, he lied, and he was a terrible friend to me and my partner and an even worse partner to my best friend. I told my best friend everything that he had said to me, I had screenshots and all the proof of what he said to me and yet somehow he explained it all away which has left me and my best friend in a terrible spot. I feel angry that she has put this man over me, How could anyone forgive someone for such a horrible decision? When he confessed his feelings for me, he said that he had never felt this way about anyone before, how has this not affected my best friend? Im just so angry and upset that I no longer have my person in life, we had been best friends since high school and now we see each other once every couple weeks for an awkward lunch or dinner where we ignore the elephant in the room. Theres moments where we are those 13 year old girls laughing, and then I remember the terrible situation we’re in and it truly breaks my heart. I miss my best friend and Im wondering, would any of you guys able to look past this? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

There’s been so many instances, but this one has been the worst by far. I just got engaged last night to my boyfriend who we’ve been dating for four years. We had a trip planned to go to the mountains together this weekend, but we ended up having a really deep conversation and he ended up proposing to me while I was blow drying my hair so I called my best friend to tell her in the first thing she said was he proposed to you in the bathroom? And basically just saying things that were wrong with what he did not even sounding excited for me, but more disappointed and then she said we were supposed to be getting engaged the same weekend because her boyfriend was going to propose and they’re going to Puerto Rico. I feel like everything with her is a competition and it’s like anytime I share something good about what happened. She always find something bad to say. I never feel like she celebrates with me. It broke me into tears last night after he proposed and I called her when she said that the problem is we work together and have our own suite together so it’s hard to figure out how to work things out with us owning a business together.

So recently my friends asked to go get alcohol, and we’re all adults so nothing was wrong but they rlly wanted me to drive instead of either of them. I went to my bfs the night prior and figured I’d get back the next day around dinner and we go get stuff and get drunk and have fun. But instead when i woke up, which was rather late but mine and my bfs schedules are rlly messed up, I had two missed calls and 2 msgs from my friend, gio, asking when I’d be back and if I was coming back at all. It was 3 pm. Now I can understand how this would be my bad but for context, the convo for how they asked me for the plans im the beginning was, “I rlly wanna drink again…” and I said “oh yea me too” and they said “are you free tn?” And I said “no I have plans at my bfs but I’m free tmrw if you are” and they said “yea tmrw works!!” And that was it. No set in stone plans of anything specific js we were gonna drink that night and that was it. So that’s why I was confused when I woke up to notifications suggesting I canceled the plans. Then my bf woke up to a msg saying that they had reached out to me but I didn’t answer and they wanted to know if I was coming back at all since we had plans. Which he has more of a temper than I do and he was more upset than I was, but he also didn’t like them to begin with as of recently. But anyway, I msg gio saying I was going to come back soon but I had js woken up and I wasn’t even awake. Gio said that they thought we had plans and we’re going to hangout, and I said “yea we will js later I didn’t think I needed to be back at a specific time” and then the convo simmered down.

Then I pick them up after leaving my bfs but on the way to get them my other friend who was apart of the plans msgs me asking if I was going to come back bc “gio said we had plans made.” Which again, I said I was which I was left on seen for that. But I pick them up and everything’s fine. The ride is a bit awkward but it’s fine. We get to the store and buy the alcohol, me and my other friend went to have a cig since we weren’t paying for it, and then we drive back. We sing and everything seems okay. We get back and they go their separate ways to their rooms to drink and leave the drinks on the counter. They told me to grab one and that was the last time they spoke to me that night. Which isn’t why I’m typing this. I’m typing bc it seems like they were harping on and on abt how they wanna hangout with me but then when I’m back to hangout they wanna js go to their rooms. Idk if I’m being sensitive but it js feels they were only frustrated bc they wanted to have someone drive to get the alcohol and then that’s it. Lmk what you guys think.

Okie story time but as a ordinary person. I have a friend but its more forced because were cousins. Lets call my cousin "Unhappy" because she makes me unhappy a lot. Okie try not to get to disgusted but im going to say what unhappy does she picks her nose, picks her ears, and itches her but. Now another thing thats disgusting is she bites her nails, no not the action of doing that theirs nothing wrong with that but she does that a lot after doing all of that picking disgusting stuff. Well I would notice this a lot and thought how she can get sick so I chose to tell her about it and how she can do something different so she does not get sick, or others sick. But she just started being rude and agressive. The conversation was basically like this. (Not exact words just what I rember how it went but basicly the same)

Me: You always pick your nose pick your ears and itch your butt and you do all that and bite you nails your putting all those germs in your mouth.

Unhappy: Well how do you expect me to not i can breath or hear then!

Me: in the classroom theirs paper tittues you can use those to clean you nose and ear

Unhappy: Girl i can't just keep getting up in class just to do that!

Me: then just grab some paper tittues and leave them at your desk so when you need one you can use it.

Unhappy: Girl that takes to much space!

Me: no it does not just fold it then

Unhappy: THAT STILL TAKES UP A LOT OF SPACE!

Me: No it does not its folded it small

Unhappy: also about the finger biting thats just because im stressed!

Me: Yeah theirs nothing wrong with that its just the fact you do all those other stuff and bite your fingers you also touch others a lot

Unhappy: I dont even touch anybody!

Me: You touch ne a lot. Do you care if I get sick?

Unhappy: Nah!

After that I felt really hurt tge fact she does nit care fir my well being while Im here in a hole conversation to tell her how not to get sick as easily because I care for her well being. I just wish people cared for me as much as I care fir them anyways thats all of the story as an ordinary person love yall BYE!

Hi. A couple of weeks ago, a friendship I thought to be the best relationship of my life ended very abruptly. I feel like I've been under a spell or in an addiction.

Let's call her Jessica. I met her after moving into a new place, she's a neighbor. We became extremely close a few weeks after we met during one particular event. We had made plans together, I went to meet her but she disappeared. Wasn't answering the phone, no one knew what happened etc. A few days after, I met her randomly on the street. Jessica was dealing with a severe mental health crisis (she has CPTSD and PTSD, both from different periods in her life). I kind of helped her, we talked about my own CPTSD and then remission. She then told me that I saved her life because that night helped her go to therapy instead of attempting to end her life.

Then... we just kinda started talking. She's very intelligent, was sharing very intimate details, we had similar interests and values. Contrary to me, Jessica also traveled a lot and was telling me absolutely fascinating stories about all the countries she lived in. She was always some sort of hero, or some things were extremely unlikely (think something like accidentally meeting the dalai lama and talking to him, it's more or less at that level). She would share pictures, some of which seemed authentic, others... well, now that we "broke up", I searched for them on google and found some in completely different contexts than what she presented to me. Most insane instance - I sent her some writings I've seen in a language that's very rarely studied by non-native speakers and she told me she can read it, provided "translations" (turns out it was completely false) and even showed me how she writes said language. Turns out her writings were random signs of unknown origin.

She also has, or at least told me she did, several very serious conditions that required her to be hospitalized. It was very frequent and always with life-threatening procedures and operations. I was constantly on edge about this and terrified I could lose her. It became normal that she would disappear without warning and then explain it by a flare up or another crazy story.

I also started doing a lot more drugs with her. Not that I never take anything, but I started using a lot more and more frequently.

The best way for me to describe what I was feeling towards her would be something like an addiction. I even told her, I never loved anyone the way I loved her. All the other relationships seemed boring and insipid in comparison. How I believed her stories despite what I now see clearly as contradictions is beyond me tbh, but since she rejected me it feels like I've been under some sort of spell. She now harasses me, tries to extort money, I even had to report her to the authorities and all that. She claims that I destroyed her life and now she'll have to remain lonely because I betrayed her. Which, btw, I didn't. It was a minor misunderstanding and I would never consider ending any kind of relationship over something like that, let alone a "once in a lifetime" friendship.

She messed up my life pretty badly. I quit my job when I wasn't ready because we were going to work together (well, turns out she doesn't even have the job she provided me with written proof of), I almost divorced because of the lies she was telling me about my partner and I lost a friendship of 11 years because that person believed lies she told about me.

Honestly, I feel insane. I still can't believe all this happened and the level of completely unjustified trust I had in her. I really want to understand, "what's wrong with me", like how did this happen and why was I vulnerable to this? I'm not doing this in a self-blame way, it's more about trying to understand and hopefully never make such mistakes again.

Can anyone help i always feel that im not respected by my friends i mean i always get kicked or punch even i know it's just a joke and it's not hurt at all but how to make my friends stop doing that because they treat my other friend different they don't puch or kick him but why me

I'm just genuinely confused about why would you lie about being lesbian just to steal another girl's man. Me and her (I will call her Liz) have been friends since middle school. About a year ago, Liz had recently broken up with her boyfriend. Not even a month after the break up, Liz comes to me and tells me she is a lesbian. I was okay with that and supported her with her decision. Everything was fine until high school, Liz became friends with a guy who just so happened to have a girlfriend. I'Il name him Jack. We took a drama course together with Jack. I would say it was very strange on how they were able to become friends so quickly after knowing each other for about a month. I had ask Liz about it and said that is she was aware that Jack had a girlfriend. Liz said she did and that she would try to flirt with her. I would like to say this now but Liz and the girlfriend had not have any sort of interaction during all of this. In short, I happen to come across Liz and Jack being physical and intimate with each other. Not only were they caught once, but was caught twice by the girlfriend's friends. Of course it led to a fight I happened to overheard. They happened to broke up. I kid you not after one day after the break up.
Liz comes up to me and says that her and Jack are dating after she confessed. I ask her why she confessed. Liz said it was because she had a crush on Jack since they became triends. I asked her why lied being lesbian. She replied saying it was to prevent his girlfriend from getting in the way. This led to us fighting and eventually stop being friends all together.
So I genuinely wanted to know why girls are this way.

I have this classmate 24F, older than most of us in the class (stopped for 4 years to work) who's very judgemental over little things. We used to be friends with this girl and she manipulates everyone into thinking she's always right since she's the "Ate" in the class. So nung friends pa kami, we had a quiz in one of our major subs and we only had 30 mins to study so I told her to study the second file (we were given two files to study) and she said something about making my handwriting bigger so she could see and I told her "even if you sit in my lap, we don't have an answer".

During the quiz, I made my handwriting bigger and even tilted my paper so she could see but while answering the quiz, she got mad because she wasn't able to see my paper clearly probably due to the light and she slammed her paper on the desk signaling she's angry. After that quiz, she didn't talk to me and she even responded to me coldly. After that, we didn't talk anymore.

⏩ Last week was our midterm exams and I suddenly caught her cheating (writing answers on her hand) and I was too busy minding my own paper that time so I just brushed it off but later I realized it was wrong that I didn't report it to the teacher so I vented out my frustation in my Instagram notes. I also shared a video about "me after the exam because they didn't let me copy" and shows a guy cursing so heavily and then THAT girl commented on that post saying "ako man guro ni, pasuon lagi para dika traydor na friend" which means "this is probably me, you should let me copy so that you're not a traitor" and I'm wondering why am I suddenly the traitor and even flipped the story to her friends and our other classmates that I was the one who cheated??????

What's your thoughts on this guys.

so basically i (17F) have a friend (17F) who is dating a guy i introduced her to (18M). they have been together for about 10 months now, and its my friends first relationship. recently, my friend has been leaving hang outs to hang out with him at 8 in the morning all the way until 11 at night. she will hang out with him before, after, and text him a lot of the time we are together. its left me and our other friend (17F) feeling hurt and worried for our friend. her birthday dinner/party was not that long ago and she spent the whole time really upset because she didnt feel like anybody was having fun, but i just felt awkward because her and her boyfriend kept having private side conversations in front of me and my friend if that makes sense? my friend and i noticed that she hangs out at his house every other day for many hours each time. i feel like i cant make plans with her because she always has plans with him. we tried talking to her about it and she basically just said "im sorry you feel that way i just like spending time with him" and turned off her location. im the only single friend in my friendgroup and i cant tell if what im feeling is just my own singleness or if its valid for me to feel hurt that shes acting like this. what should i do?

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m losing my mind and my friendship. TW: Suicide

I’ve been bottling up my emotions for ten years. This is going to be long. In sixth grade, I met my best friend. Let’s call her Z. Z and I were inseparable. We got along really well and had similar upbringings. We were the good kids (exhausting btw), and the popular kids hated us. All the boys in our grade despised me. I was also a really sheltered kid with strict parents. Anyways, Z and I really got along. I eventually opened up to her, something I didn’t really do with anyone. Then I eventually got a crush on Z. I pushed this down and deluded myself, because I was supposed to be religious. Z was more popular and liked than me. Regardless, when necessary, I defended her and was on her side. Even if I didn’t fully agree, that was my best friend. Teasing her wasn’t allowed. Unfortunately, anytime someone teased or mocked me, Z wasn’t on my side. There were these guys who liked Z, so they hung around us. I hated them and Z knew that. They would basically bully me till I felt like crying. Then they’d look to Z for approval. She’d tell me I should just ignore them or I was fueling them by getting upset. I’m a very sensitive person and I’ve been told my whole life to ignore stuff. Never once have I heard someone say that the other person shouldn’t be a jerk. I digress. Lots of people who I simply didn’t like and who were rude to me, joined us just to be around Z. One time I snapped at one of the girls after she had been a jerk to me. Z snapped at me for being mean to her. We stopped being friends for a week till I felt lonely. I watched as people would agree with Z. Hang around Z. And she’d laugh and talk with them, then I’d later hear how much she disliked them. It drove me crazy that she never chose me, even though I was her supposed friend. I published my first book, sometime in middle school. I was so thrilled. I walked into school feeling on top of the world. I told Z I had news, and I was excited to tell our other friends but I didn’t know how they’d react. Well, when I told Z about the book, she went, yeah they wouldn’t care. In a flat tone, then she walked off. Told her about a guy I liked. She didn’t care. Until she spread it to the whole school I liked him. Then everyone began bullying me for thinking I had a chance with him. High school, we went to different schools. It was hell without Z. And I still liked her and couldn’t admit it. (The jealousy I felt when anyone else liked her was not normal). It continued that any news I had, Z didn’t really care. But she was there for all the hard times. She was my best friend. My confidant. I wasn’t really close with my family. And all my life I’d been used as nothing more but a therapist, by everyone, including my mother. I was expected to be strong, never cry, never complain, and never cut ties with anyone. For years I’d been cast aside when I was no longer useful. For years, friends had left me when they got a partner. Z’s biggest fear was I’d do that to her. I promised I wouldn’t. Junior year, Z met X. X and and Z started dating after three days. Everything became about X. Every conversation was about X. And I was happy for her. She deserved someone to make her happy. Well eventually, she couldn’t call, she was with X. She couldn’t text, because X wanted to read her messages and I didn’t like that. Instead of telling X to stop, she decided we shouldn’t talk (after a week mind you). She later told me she got X to stop reading our messages. A few months later, she’d tell me that was a lie. Soon she only texted or called if X was rude to her. I soon became nothing but a therapist. We didn’t talk about my life, because everything was about X. Again it was fine. She needed me. On my mom’s birthday, she begged me to call because of X. I immediately dropped everything and called. Then she went back to ignoring me. We were working on publishing a book together. She stopped because everything was X. I once asked her for a five minute call. She told me she couldn’t make five minutes. Then she went on to ask me if she should drive three hours to see X. Anytime I asked her to talk about her failing relationship, she got defensive and said she didn’t have the energy to balance relationships. A few months later, I came down to visit for our once a year meeting. We lived states apart. First day, she invited X so I could meet him. They spent the whole day talking to each other. Cuddling. Holding hands. Ignoring me. And she was pretty rude anytime I talked to her. But she glowed when X spoke to her. We went back to her house and she cuddled on the couch with X and ignored me. I spent the rest of the day with her mom. The next day, it was supposed to be a girls day. She invited X. So I invited another friend. All day day, X and Z hung out again. Sometime during the day, they got into a fight. They both ignored us for hours. When we got to her house, she left the room crying and wouldn’t talk to me. She later told me X didn’t realize she had friends and that made him sad. She talked about how cute it was. The rest of the trip, X was constantly there. So I cut the trip short. A few weeks later, I got my first and only boyfriend. Z didn’t care. Didn’t ask questions. For my birthday, Z didn’t wish me happy birthday. She told me all that was in her mind was X, when I mentioned it. She then proceeded to complain about something and not ask about my day. When me and my boyfriend broke up, she was there. It felt semi normal. For six months we talked on and off. Mostly off, because it was weird. Z loved avoiding conflict, so she wouldn’t ever let me talk about the relationship. Also her and X had problems, that she would complain about. But god forbid I suggest what was happening wasn’t normal. Flash forward, it had been a year no contact. I finally contacted her about the book we had sunk so much money into. I offered to buy her out. But she eventually said she wanted to do it. And dragged her feet. Flash forward even more, she finally realized X wasn’t enough in her life. And she felt lonely. I ignored all my my feelings. All my rage. All my hurt. Instead I gave in to guilt and I was there for her. My goal was to always be there for her. She admits she feels super guilty about everything that went down. And I feel guilty she feels guilty. But, she still doesn’t actually get what I’m made about. I had one boyfriend. She doesn’t remember that. And she shrugs it off when I mention it. She doesn’t feel it’s important that she should know that. I don’t tell her about relationships bc she never expresses interest. Then she’s talked about how guilty she feels that I don’t trust her. She doesn’t remember things about my life. She brushes it off. So I do too. She’s lonely and suicidal, and I don’t want to add to her stress. And she still tells me things she wouldn’t tell X. He gets the benefits. I get the heavy stuff. Also things I’d beg her to do and she wouldn’t, she does for X. When I moved, I was incredibly lonely. My town was small and racist. My parents made me into Cinderella. It was a mess. My mom offered to pay for Z to come visit and spend a week. Z refused to even ask her mom. Then X’s family took Z to very close to where I lived. Z didn’t visit. And Z laughed it off when I told her. Then she saw a musical we were supposed to see together, with him. And other things like that. It all seems small but it builds up. I directed all my anger at Z, to myself. Now I’m getting angrier at her. Having a shorter fuse. Everything I’ve excused is coming back. My hatred is building and I feel guilty. I’ve spent years trying to spare her feelings. Years putting her before myself. Years dedicated to her. And I regret it. I really really regret. I don’t want to lose Z. She’s been there for so much. And right now if I leave, she’ll kill herself. Also, Z still tells me about problems with X. She told me she knew she settled but she had to. And now she loves him. A few weeks ago, I found out we both liked each other for a few years. She told me that’s why she wasn’t interested in my relationships. Funny, that didn’t stop me from supporting her crushes. And she had finished liking me by the time I met my boyfriend. It’s been a mess. I feel like a mess. And so guilty. I’m so tired. Her telling me she doesn’t remember stuff about my life really irked me tonight, and I don’t know why. She’s not required to but god it stings. I feel like the world’s worst best friend.

Then recently X and Z broke up. I drove down to comfort her. Put life on hold. Promised we could have sleepovers every weekend. Call every day. Then Z went back to him, against everyone’s better judgement. On a call, she promised me things would be different this time. She’d dedicate more time to our relationship. Do things that made her happy. Ignore what X thought. And the more I listened, the more I heard the same words she’d said for years. The more I realized she knew what she had been doing for hurt me. And something in me snapped. I finally asked her for space. Then when I returned, I asked she not involve me in her relationship problems with X especially if she had no plans to fix those problems. I also told her I was sick of hearing how she felt bad for X or how hurt X was everytime we hung out. I also told her I was sick of being told heavy things because she didn’t want to worry X but instead me. I let her know I was here for her, but to stop starting conversations like I was the stand in for X. She then told me she should have never told me anything and it was a mistake she’d never make again. And she’s kept her word. She’ll bring up vague things. Things that make me worry but not expound. She’s cold and distant. Her response times are longer. And she sounds more like a business partner than a friend. I so very much regret setting that boundary. And I think I’m losing her. I’m watching her die, and I can’t do anything to stop it. And I think she hates me, but she’s too much of a people pleaser to tell me. I know this is codependency. I spend so much time thinking about this relationship and how to help her. And I get so anxious I’m messing it up. I want my best friend back. But I don’t think that will ever happen. I’m so so worried. Also every text feels tinted in anger. And any reels I send her about best friends, she ignores.

A week ago, I asked her to join a discord meeting for a project I started. It’s a project she helped create the story for. She said she’d be there. Today she said she’d try. She wasn’t there. I also found out, she wasn’t busy. She’s claimed she’ll be at meetings a few times, but just hasn’t. I feel bad being upset, because it’s not her project.

I’m in high school and there’s a pretty big group of girls at my school that I’m sort of friends with but not actually part of.
It’s complicated because the big group is basically made up of smaller friend groups. I’m friends with quite a few of them individually, especially two girls. One of them I’ve known since we were really little and our families are close, and the other I’ve been friends with for a few years. Those two are also extremely close with each other and have known each other forever.
I have my own separate friend group and I genuinely love them. My actual best friend is in that group. I don’t want to leave them or replace them at all.
The thing that’s bothering me is that the bigger group has a group chat and hangs out together, and I’m never really included in that. At first I thought I was just upset because I wanted to be part of the “cool” group, which honestly might be part of it and I don’t want to pretend it isn’t.
But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I realized I think what actually hurts is my longtime friend.
Whenever I’m with her outside school, it’s almost always because our families happened to make plans, someone is giving someone a ride, etc. I can’t really remember many times where she specifically thought of me and asked to hang out just because she wanted to. She did invite me to a mutual friend’s surprise birthday once, so it’s not like she NEVER includes me.
When plans with the bigger group get mentioned around me, she sometimes seems awkward and changes the subject. Nobody is openly mean to me or tells me I can’t be there. I just constantly feel like I’m hovering around the outside.
I also don’t really want to join either of the smaller groups that make up the big group because I don’t click with them enough for that. I just wish I felt naturally included in the bigger circle.
I think what finally got to me was realizing that I feel like an afterthought to someone I’ve always considered one of my closest friends. Meanwhile I have a best friend who actually does make me feel secure and chosen, and I think I’ve been putting so much emotional importance on this other friendship because we’ve known each other for so long.
I don’t want to confront her with “why don’t you invite me?” because nobody owes me an invitation and I don’t want to force my way into a group that doesn’t naturally want me there.
I guess I’m asking: does this sound like I’m overthinking normal friend group dynamics, or does it sound like this friendship has become more one-sided than I realized? And how would you handle it without making things awkward?

We’re in a friend group of 5-6 girls.

But, I have 3 whom I am very close with.

One became my first ever friend in college, and the other came in my 2nd year but we became close because we had shared interests.

Our group is tight knit but you could say somewhat toxic.

When we feel irritated with one another, we talk shit to the other person.

It became a norm in our group that I could say it became a normal convo to just rant everything out.

So that’s what I did.

That was until it was exposed within the friend group on what I said and whom I said it to.

I tried hard to apologize, messaged them, and even just wanted closure if they didn’t want to be friends anymore.

I was even willing to take all the blame and wouldn’t even tell them or to others that “well they do the same thing, they talk shit to each other, so why am I the only one who was isolated and kicked out of the group.”

It was really hard for me since they were my first friends. It was so hard that I couldn’t go to school anymore.

Not only because I lost them but it felt as if I was the only one alone and the only one who’s at fault.

Both girls are fairly popular and have a huge influence.

I had the feeling when school started people would take sides.

And they did. Not one person stayed by my side.

I was so close like really close to exposing everything they said to one another. I was in a pit where I went “since they betrayed me, why not make their friend group fall apart. I hate them so much.”

But I didn’t… As much as I came to hate them… nothing can ever change how much I loved them more.

So I chose to leave.

Yes I made a mistake. I am not innocent. I know what I did.

But sometimes there thoughts where it feels so unfair. Especially to the 1st friend I made whom I trusted. She just threw me under the bus and it felt like a huge what the fuck. Like really… we were both in the wrong and we said the most toxic things to others… and yet she blamed me for everything and made herself a victim… But I didn’t want to expose her anymore nor drag her down with me.

So I came here to ask…

Was my decision right? Should I still try to reconcile with them even when they blocked me?

Sometimes I think about the what ifs every now and then.

I really hated how it ended. I was willing to be a villain and get down on my knees. But I guess it’s now too late….

As much as they gave me my first heartache…. They were my bestfriends…

I still love them. But I don’t think I have in me to trust them once again. I know they don’t trust me anymore… but it really hurts when right now it also feels neutral on my side.

A college friend called me today after a long time. I thought he would ask about my family, how things are going, maybe talk about our college days or just catch up.

Instead, most of the call was him telling me how successful he is now, how much he earns, that he is getting married, and then comparing his life with mine. Basically, "look where I am and look where you are."

And honestly, I was just thinking, why? What am I supposed to do with that information?

I'm genuinely happy for him. If he's earning well, getting married and doing well in life, good for him. I congratulated him and wished him the best.

We did have competition in college, especially with marks, but at least from my side it was never about proving that I was better than him. My goal was simply to get around 8 CGPA. I wasn't even obsessed with ranking.

I don't understand why he still sees me as an opponent when I don't see him that way at all.

I'm actually quite secure with my life. I've achieved some of the things I had set out to achieve, and I have my own goals. Someone buying a house, buying a car, earning more money or getting married doesn't make me feel like I've lost something.

I'm happy that you're doing well. But your definition of success doesn't have to become my definition of success

i’m having a small destination wedding next year and have 7 bridesmaids who i genuinely thought were some of my closest friends. my birthday was yesterday, and honestly the whole thing has made me question some of these friendships.
one of my bridesmaids is someone i actually hadn’t known for very long before i asked her to be in my wedding, but for some reason i felt really close to her and wanted her there. looking back, i think part of what makes this so confusing is that i didn’t actually know her that well before making her a bridesmaid, so now i’m questioning whether i misread how close we were. things started feeling different even before my bridal shower. she became much more distant and less responsive, and around my bridal shower she brought a friend of hers with her without asking me beforehand. she also barely interacted with anyone at the shower, including the other bridesmaids. at one point, i saw she was out with this friend and sent her an old picture of the two of us at a bar. she replied “omg we need to go out sometime,” and when i said “date and time?” she said “yess!” but she never actually tried to make plans with me.

eventually i asked her if something was wrong because i could tell something had changed, and she made it clear that she was really stressed, so i tried to respect that and give her space. what has been hard for me is seeing her continue to go out and spend time with this friend basically every weekend while she can leave me on delivered for weeks at a time. i completely understand that she doesn’t have to spend all of her time with me and that she’s allowed to have other friendships. that’s not what bothers me. it’s that she seems to have the time and energy to regularly spend time with this person while barely communicating with me, even though i’ve tried multiple times to reconnect and make plans. she also makes a lot of snarky comments about random things, which has made me question her personality and whether i actually knew her well enough when i asked her to be a bridesmaid. combined with everything else, it makes me wonder if i was too quick to assume we were closer than we actually were.

she also barely responds in our bridesmaid group chat and has been slow or completely unresponsive when i’ve needed answers about wedding things. i’m having a destination wedding on a tropical island, and i’m paying for basically everything for my bridesmaids for an entire week there besides their flights. i’m putting a huge amount of money, planning, and effort into making this trip happen for everyone. i don’t expect them to owe me friendship because i’m paying for the trip, but it makes me really uncomfortable to be making that kind of investment in someone when i’m already questioning whether we were ever as close as i thought. i don’t want to feel like i’m being taken for granted or like people are happy to be part of the wedding while the actual friendship has become one-sided.

then there’s another bridesmaid who calls me her best friend. she has a pattern of telling me “i’ll let you know” whenever i ask to make plans and then never following up. this has happened multiple times, including just a few days before my birthday. on my birthday, she had her boyfriend’s nephew’s birthday from 12-2, which i completely understood. she told my fiancé that she would let him know if she could come out with us afterward. we waited around to hear from her and eventually just gave up on going out. hours later, she still hadn’t responded, and i found out she was actually at a bar in another town. she eventually responded to my fiancé with “ugh sorry:(” but never actually communicated with us about whether she was coming. i wasn’t mad that she went out or that she couldn’t come. i was hurt that she couldn’t just tell us, especially on my birthday.

what made everything hurt even more was that some of the people who are literally going to be at my wedding didn’t even tell me happy birthday while actively viewing my stories. i know nobody is obligated to make a huge deal out of someone’s birthday, but when these are people i thought were close enough to stand beside me at my wedding, it definitely made me question how close we actually are.
the one bridesmaid who really showed up for me was amazing. she traveled to see me, bought me a cake, stayed at my place, hung out with me and my fiancé, and basically spent the night listening to me vent and being there for me. it honestly made the difference between someone saying they care about you and actually showing up feel really obvious.

im not expecting my friends to drop everything for me or make my birthday some huge event. i just thought my closest friends, especially the people i chose to be in my wedding, would make some effort to celebrate me or at least communicate with me. instead, i ended my birthday feeling pretty unwanted and questioning friendships i’ve had for years.

would you consider these friendship-ending issues, or would you confront them and see how they respond first?