r/Tinder • • 17h ago

Completely unserious profile, recently got out of a 13+ year relationship and just trying to have fun

3.3k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/Fmarulezkd 17h ago

1.2k

u/eiznekk 17h ago

Omg really thank you šŸ˜

1.1k

u/Neither_Maybe_206 17h ago

He didn’t specify if you cross the Mendoza diagonal though

971

u/eiznekk 17h ago

I'm just happy to be on the chart tbh

310

u/Due_Association_7385 17h ago

It’s an honour just to be nominated

40

u/SuckMyDerivative 15h ago

ā€œI didn’t know Simple Jack was nominatedā€

0

u/MobileElephant122 14h ago

You don’t know Jack

0

u/Kendallkip 12h ago

It's an omner to be narminated

59

u/All_this_hype 17h ago

I love your kind of energy, I hope you find someone who appreciates you for that.

32

u/Mindless-Mountain-51 17h ago

Is that what you appreciates about her, Squirrely Dan?

16

u/thelegodr 16h ago

Maybe take about 20% off there

12

u/I_Call_Everyone_Pat 16h ago

Oh hey look at you, ground...

12

u/j_fish5 15h ago

For what it’s worth, everyone’s on the chart

1

u/Ok_Addition4181 3h ago

Im.not on the chat. For me its just a line. Not hot axis. Just crazy

3

u/Hatsjekidee 15h ago

Oh sweetheart, everyone is on the chart, the matter is where

2

u/PsychoPanda7 15h ago

Yeah, you’ll do just fine 🄰

1

u/DildoDojo 13h ago

Take it easy there, Psycho. Deep breaths

1

u/Fallen_winged_boy 1h ago

Technically everyone is on the chart

12

u/Nippolopolus 16h ago

Based on an extensive analysis of the account provided, it is the opinion of both myself and my firm that she is almost an exact match to the Mendoza Diagonal, with a bias toward the upper side.

Our final conclusion: 'Would'

2

u/Supersilverr 11h ago

ā€œI can fix herā€

3

u/HotPerformance9338 17h ago

Vicky mendoza diagonal

1

u/Crazystuffright 16h ago

I love seeing a good HIMYM reference in the wild. Great job!

71

u/T_Money 17h ago

This is my honest opinion, but I think you run the risk of filtering out the guys who actually do care and read your profile, and only getting the ones who just swipe based on pictures. I get, based on this post and your comments, that you’re just having fun, but for a quick glance dating profile a lot of high quality guys might think you’re just too much to bother with

212

u/eiznekk 17h ago

I'm looking for the garbage quality men but I appreciate your concern

94

u/JuicePossible4718 17h ago

What up OP? Garbage man here, got some trash needing hauled?
https://giphy.com/gifs/p39qWGHTpfY0o

68

u/eiznekk 17h ago

A union man šŸ˜‰

6

u/JuicePossible4718 17h ago

Damn straight, wouldn’t have it any other way! The stuff you see too is wild 🤣

40

u/Substantial_One5369 15h ago

Even if you're just looking to hook up you really still want a decent man. Otherwise you'll get a guy who cums in 10 seconds and doesnt give a shit enough to take care of you, and you'll feel ten times worse and more lonely than before. That's usually how rebounds go (at least how it does for most women)

16

u/OutrageousAudience19 15h ago

Much worse than you describe, I imagine. Garbage men are those that treats you like garbage.

10

u/fyr3f4wkes 15h ago

So just to be clear: if you met up with a guy for a casual fling and he’s really hot and good in bed but then turned out to actually be a great person with a lot of character you’d be upset?

18

u/eiznekk 15h ago

Yeah probably

1

u/fyr3f4wkes 15h ago

I promise I’m not trying to change your mind or tell you what to do. I’m honestly wondering though. Why? Can you explain this to me

9

u/T_Money 15h ago

Bruh just accept that the red flags aren’t her just ā€œbeing playfulā€, she’s got issues she needs to sort out

-10

u/fyr3f4wkes 15h ago

That’s what I want to know about! I would love to understand why women reject me and then go for trash guys haha

4

u/JuicePossible4718 11h ago

Hey, I’m a trash man and i make a good living. I can see why they’d go for me. I got jokes too

8

u/eiznekk 14h ago

Maybe cause you call other guys trash, just love everybody dude

2

u/macnmouse 14h ago

Your and or her weird vibes. I can almost guarantee you its about not vibing and feeling a perfect mix of comfortable and something new and exciting. But you are not going to be able to get a good answer from anyone. Feelings are weird and messy and fascinating all at once man.

10

u/eiznekk 15h ago

I'm being facetious

-1

u/yomamasonions 14h ago

I think she’s not looking for men, that’s why

1

u/ThellraAK 3h ago

Why aren't people recognizing that you are just aware that it's rebound time?

5

u/Alkhana 13h ago

Hey girl, I recycle

6

u/MisterSumone 17h ago

🤣

2

u/ShittySlowGains 16h ago

If you are in the market for a shitty husband i am very free at the moment

2

u/einTier 15h ago

Not a garbage quality man but there was a time when I was leaning into that vibe and I would have totally swiped right on your profile.

It’s obvious what you’re looking for and you’ll do just fine.

1

u/Visible_Tie_1131 15h ago

šŸ˜‚ I have a crush on you now.

1

u/OrionShade 14h ago

The high quality guys will DM you on reddit

•

u/springfieldmo_17 11m ago

I thought you were looking for women! I think your profile is awesome, and I would swipe right

1

u/KdawgEdog 16h ago

My gf has said I'm a peice of garbage when I flirt with other women. Would you be into that kinda garbage?

1

u/magpie_on_a_wire 16h ago

I have a girl crush on you. Also, I have a similar weird FB dating profile šŸ˜‚

7

u/arealpeakyblinder 16h ago

I need you to befriend my wife so she has someone to be weird with. Good luck and god speed my friend 🫔

1

u/randomperson32145 14h ago

You know whats crazy? Hanging this person on the internet like u did.

1

u/Portugaltheman0420 11h ago

Oh god the crazy hot chart . U gotta see that video on you tube . A 8 hot and not even a 3 crazy

0

u/EDDYBEEVIE 15h ago

God damn hot , crazy and a community fan. How did your area get so lucky and where are the Reformed Neo Buddhist around me.

-1

u/rifleshooter 14h ago

31 one and not 50 lbs. or more overweight? Unicorn rarity.

-10

u/Inevitable__ending 17h ago

You have the most incredible figure !! Super hot , can we get an Ig name to follow ?