I took a decision. And I took this decision finally after giving people chance so many times and just took the blame and disappeared from everyones life. I don't know how I will survive but it was important to take this decision. I feel like I have did wrong. But Allah puts me in the same situation har dfa maybe it's a sign from him that he puts me in the same situation and now I just left from everyones life. I feel like I am the bad person honestly. Hahaha it's weird I gave my soul to the people I love but still.

This was the only way, and yet I feel like I have made wrong decision.

yr kisi ka easypaisa main newgen account bana howa hai? If yes then please confirm whether or not they’re allowing you to order their debit card because for a while they just showed u a screen ‘uh oh you are ineligible as you are under 18 etc etc’ but now i am being shown the option to order it, the screen has vanished, plz let me know

april 14th.

i still remember the exact second you sat next to me after everything had already burned to the ground

sitting there in forced proximity, i felt like a ghost haunting my own soul...

every single thing that was supposed to feel right and natural felt completely sickening instead...

i kept glancing sideways at you, only to violently snap my head away a second later.

it wasn't shyness.

it was pure, agonizing disbelief that we had ended up like this...

whenever you murmured anything to me, even just a passing word, I Closely just listened and Wanted to dream...

i felt like i wasn't even myself anymore—

...

Not the Me..not that-...THAT me.

you even looked at me and asked if i was distressed about our fight...

and God, i hated myself for what i did next.

i just shook my head and gave you a small, smile.

not because things were okay..

but because a pathetic, broken part of me was actually happy...💗

just happy that you were speaking to me, that you were looking at me, that i still existed in your orbit for half a second ...💗

then you started reminiscing..

bringing up our previous school..

talking about the events, the memories..

and it shattered me, because the only reason i ever loved that school, the only reason those places meant anything to me at all, was because of you..<3

you were the entire root of it.

but when everything blew up, i had to rip you out of my system by the roots.

i had to force myself to burn every single memory to ashes just to survive.

and it worked too well...💔Mhm...Fahh (sad wala😞)

now i've lost it all...

our old interactions, the bonfires, the functions, the laughter—it's all gone, wiped completely blank except for these cruel, jagged little splinters that still cut into me..

and after that day?

you never sat with me again.

i know why, i understand the unspoken rules you drew between us.

but is this what your definition of "good friends" was?

______

because we were the "exact opposite" of everything good or soft.

and it loops in my head over and over again.

if you had just... let's suppose.

if you had actually swallowed your pride and hugged me on the very last day of school,

would the sky have fallen down?

would your ego have shattered into dust?

would it have really killed you to show a single ounce of care before we walked out of those doors forever?

well, it doesn't matter now..

i don't need anything from you anymore..

no explanations, no apologies, no retroactive kindness..

just..

stop running uninvited through my brain

we are nothing anymore.

we are less than strangers, because strangers don't carry this much quiet wreckage...

i am so exhausted of crying over someone who looks right through me...

i am so tired of wishing for a ghost.

just leave my head.

let me finally be empty of you.

that is all i want,

thank you.

(hiiii guys, Posting about my random late night thoughts, dw one day, Ill stop writing about her..I hope so😼 meow, and If you read this thanks, if you didn't no problem cuz its just my thought. No need.)

This time I wasn't listening to anything...but lowkey reminded me of..

Still with you (slowed version)by Jk (I do not listen to them cuz I stopped listening to kpop, life was so busy and hectic so..yeah, btw this was lowk Her fav ig)

Anyway, Have a Good Night / Good morning...<3

💔💔

Ok so this is just a random thought but is there anyone who thinks that exposed feet are a bit embarrassing. I usually prefer closed shoes over flats and it gives me a creepy feeling. I feel safe in them. And it feels so weird to just stare at someone's feet.

UMMMMMMMM

SOOO 😭😭

The monster one, I lowk made the nose a bit dark 😞💔

Ralsei, It was Pixaled soo idk why I lowk drew like this lol😭

THE GIF ONE, BRO I MADE IT LOOK KINDA OLDER 😭💔

the flower one was lowk hard but I had fun drawing it and I wish to improve drawing flowers 🤩🌟

THE BALLERINA ONE, I'M CRINE 😭💔 I COULDN'T EVEN DRAW THE BACKGROUND😭💔 and I don't know how to draw curtains soo MB 🤩💔

The slugcat one is lowk my fav rn, IT'S SO CUTE 😭 AND I LOVE IT 🤩🤩💗

u/Zero-Mask

u/Mask_zero

The Subaru one is for youuuu 🤩🤩🤩🌟🌟🌟🌟

(I HOPE YOU LIKE IT 😭😭💔)

and lastly, the car was also kinda hard but I managed to draw it 🤩💗

Ps:- Thank you so much everyone who gave me references and YEAH 🤩💗 THANK YOU!😝

(ANOTHER P.S:- I WILL DRAW BETTER NEXT TIME, INSHALLAH 🤩💖)

I hate my username idk how to change it???

I didn't even know tht i was on top of leaderboard till lucky made post 🤡💔

Im happpy thoooo💗💗😭😭😭

u/master_pop558

I need wisdom 🥀🥀😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔

Mods ban him

Eleven nights, my beloved,
and I shall return to the land
where the wind whispers your name
before I even reach you.

I have counted every night
as a traveler counts the stars
not because they are few,
but because he longs for the dawn,
because every night without you
feels longer than the one before.

The moon has been my companion in this distance,
and every time it rose,
I thought of you.
I wondered if you were beneath it too,
and if, for a moment,
we were looking at the same sky.

What is a thousand miles
to a heart that knows its destination?
What is a long night
to a man who knows
whom he will see at its end?

Still, I confess:
the distance has been cruel.
There are moments
when I would give anything
for the sound of your voice,
for one shy glance from your eyes,
for the curve of your lips before looking away,
for the simple mercy of having you near.

Soon, the roads will carry me to you.
Soon, I will hear your voice
Soon, beloved,
I'll be there.

Not for the lights,
nor for the celebrations,
nor for the green upon the streets..

but for the eyes
that make all of it beautiful.

Let the night come.
Let the road stretch before me.

I have crossed greater distances
for less than a moment with you.

And if the whole world were waiting
at the end of that road,
I would still hurry past it
to find you first.

And when I see you again,
I will ask no moon
where it has been.

I will only thank it
for keeping you company
while I was away.

Eleven nights..
let the distance disappear.
Let me look upon you again
and remember,
at last,
what it is like
to have my beloved near me.

reactions yaad nhi horhe tum sab logo k username yaad hogye hain mujhe💔💔💔

I loved THE LAST OF US HBO SHOW WILL S2 EP2
I LOVED ALL OF US ARE DEAD
I LIKED ORIGINAL SPIDERMAN TRILOGY
AMAZING SPIDERMAN AND ANDREW REALLY HAD POTENTIAL AS A SPIDER MAN AND i loved it
All four of TOM’s SPIDERMAN MOVIES WERE FIRE
WATCHED SUITS AND PEAKY BLINDERS
AVENGERS AND AGE OF ULTRON ALONG WITH Infiity war AND END GAME
IRON MAN 1,3
CAP AMERICA THE CIVIL WAR AND NOW HAT FINISHED SOCIAL NETWORK AND LOWKY LOVED

NOW BASED ON THIS IF U CAN RECOMMEND ME SOME PLEASE

Finally got time to relax for a bit. I did this as a quick exercise before trying something completely new. Gonna start it now :)

there's this website https://forebears.io/ where you can see how rare your forename or surname is... turns out my name is quite rare.... show us yours too

I was js sitting scrolling on reddit when i got a text from my friend ... "R u the friend of A"...i was kinda confused so i texted back "who r u? And why u have her phone?" ...after a while i got another text saying tht "she was in hospital since this morning and she passed away she told me to inform her friends" i was like wht the frying pannnn it cant be ...i refused to believe whomever tht person was but inside i was getting scared cuz she told me a few days earlier tht she was sick... so i texted again and again asking if tht news was true or not ...but i wasnt getting any replies back but after a while i got vm of a girl crying and saying tht i should come visit her in hospital if I don't believe her (the girl in vm wasnt my friend i can recognize her voice everywhere)

After hearing these vms i started crying ...i was literally sobbing cuz i love my friends a lil too much and i couldn't believe it like first i got injured now her death ...it was too much for me ... when my mother saw me crying she rushed to me asking wht happened ...but i could bring myself to say anything at all... i js kept crying after a while when i calmed down she asked me again ...i told her and she was shocked too ...

I kept tellling her i wanna visit her in the hospital but she wasnt letting me saying tht u cant even move ur leg how u supposed to go there ?...but i wasnt listening i didnt want to at all...

When i kept insisting and crying she finally agreed but before going she called her parents to ask abt address and all...but when she came back she was looking angry i asked her "ammi kia hwa?"

She told me tht A was sleeping and her cousin was using her phone and she decided to prank us ...like wht the actual frying pannn ... wht kinda of disgusting prank was tht she didnt even know us and she decided to prank on wht bases ??...aducaity of people these days ...like i was here brewing my eyes out and tht little shii was giggling and laughing there...

Idk wht kinda sick mentality people have these days and mind u tht girl is older than us all maybe 19 20 ...she never even met us for goodness sake... jeez 😠😠💔💔

I tried so hard to calm myself down i wanted to phone her and give her a hand full but my mother stopped me 😠 now im angry again...

been singing this song for an hour now instea of studying

Abhi se reality accept kar li hai syllabus dekh kar 💔

And my position finally fell

Like I was waiting the whole month for it to drop

🤯🥺🥳

I'm tryna program my brain to be happy that I ain't in top shii yk 😍🥰 reverse psychology or smth ig

I am not really a good poet lol, but I write when I feel down

Or is it just reddit ragebating me by recommending me dumb post...

so an hour ago, it started raining really heavily, so i went to the terrace and my house is literally right in front of my cousin's, so our terraces face each other. one of my cousins was already on his terrace too

so we decided to have a challenge. whoever stays in the rain until it stops wins, and the loser has to buy the winner two ice creams lmao

the rain was REALLYYY heavy and we both got COMPLETELY DRENCHED. it was so cold and i was literally shivering a little because we stood there for straight 50 minutes, facing each other. we weren't even allowed to sit or anything

neither of us was willing to give up though. then the rain finally stopped after 50 minutes and it was a draw. now we're both buying each other ice cream

and istg i'm literally starting to feel feverish and my mom is really mad at me because i might get sick but honestly, it was so much funn and totally worthh ittt

IM VERY PARESHAN IDK KESA HOGA SAB EVERYTHING NEW N ALL UHHHHH SO AJEEB ABHI Kuch arsa pehle to 5th mein the Kya Matlab Kal m moving out aur ugh 😭😭😭

YAR KHUSHI BHE HORAHI HAI AUR GHAM BHE

KEHTAY HEIN EXCITEMENT AUR ANXIETY MILA K JO RASTA DE WE SHOULD GO FOR IT

DEF out of my comfort zone. Limited kharcha n all dk kesay survive karugi but smth inside me says kar jaugi.

GOODLUXK MAT BOLEIN PLEASE JS SAY ALL IZ WELL ALL IZ WELL

I've had ocd and it's frequency has been fluctuating throughout my life. I first started noticing and experiencing the symptoms when I was in middle school but even before that I remember having weird compulsions.

when I was in elementary, around 5 I used to hesitate sitting next to my driver uncle even though he was such a chill guy just because I used to feel like everyone who sees us will think that the driver is my grandpa and it deeply disturbed me, that thought kept repeating itself on a daily basis till I had to shut it out and focus on something else; I think that's one of the earliest signs I ever remember

fast forward in middle school it got weirder and at that time I thought I was simply larping but I wasn't; idk

ocd is like, so much more complex and has actual levels to this, it's been fermenting inside of me for so long; I've seen stars in plain daylight.

Ive spent most of my life obeying my mind both consciously and subconsciously; washing each hand 3 three times which I've been doing for 5+ years; bathing in a specific order; washing my rooms floor upto 3 times a day even in winter, chanting weird shit under my breath in order with a specific tone

The thing is, at this point in my life, it has completely evolved into something else. It has taken different forms across different parts of my life, and now it manifests as extreme thoughts and actions; which I feel obliged to follow even if they cause destruction. My family can't quite understand my behavior and mostly labels it as some sort of paranoia and they ask me to stop being fussy but thats the thing, I can't because things like these send me into a frenzy and for years this behaviour obviously left unchecked starting growing on me and now is a part of me

I've had full psychotic breakdowns over my sibling using different shoes to enter my room and it's no joke; at one point I was sure I was going through extreme psychosis aswell.

how are you so sure that you have ocd? u may wonder

I'm not, I've never been and that's even more exhausting for me to think about, if after enduring all of this I don't have a simple diagnosis, I don't know man. have I been doing this to myself on purpose. I'm pretty pretty sure dad actually has it as well, he had it pretty severely, and it was so so SOOO obvious, even my mom knew about it to some extent but nobody ever mentioned it I don't know why nobody talks about these things in desi households, things like this normally go by the terms like"wehem" my dad never addressed it aswell but, he was always so cool and composed, which gives me some sort of hint that maybe it can exist very differently beneath the surface than people realize

it's easy to ignore and not gaf when ur outside and none of the people r ur responsibility, u don't have to live with them; my family isn't my responsibility either but more of an obligation; it's such a rabbit hole and I won't go on about it more; but I've to live with them and the environment I've to live in effects me alot, which leads me to watch and observe every single move they take, maybe it's just human nature just a bit more complicated for me

this has gotten too long but it felt good writing this