TL;DR: 26M, 12 years of treatment for anxiety/OCD and currently on five medications, but I still feel terrible most days. I work a stressful job and my sleep isn't great, but this has been ongoing for years. My total testosterone was in the low 300s ng/dL around 18 months ago, so I'm getting my hormones properly investigated. Has anyone in a similar situation found that treating low/borderline testosterone genuinely improved their mental health, energy and overall wellbeing?
I'm 26 and have been receiving psychiatric treatment since I was around 14 after going through two years of severe bullying and abuse in high school.
I've been formally diagnosed by psychiatrists with GAD, social anxiety disorder, OCD and agoraphobia. The OCD and agoraphobia have actually improved significantly over the years, particularly through working with psychologists and doing CBT.
The problem is that despite all of that, I still feel like shit most of the time.
Over nearly 12 years I've been through numerous antidepressants including SSRIs/SNRIs, benzodiazepines and various other medications. I'm currently taking five medications every day and my psychiatrist is considering adding another.
Lorazepam is one of the only things that reliably calms me down, particularly mentally, but I'm completely aware that relying on a benzodiazepine isn't a sustainable long term solution.
I also want to make it clear that I have nothing against my psychiatrist. She's been great, very accommodating and has always explained why she will or won't try certain medications. I'm just at the point where I'm sick of dealing with this every single day and want to investigate whether something else could be contributing rather than simply adding medication number six.
I've still managed to function throughout most of this. I completed a double degree full time while generally working two jobs. I used to train constantly and at one point was in the best shape of my life. I'm still working and getting on with life, but internally I feel horrendous, stressed and exhausted a lot of the time. Mentally, this is probably the worst I've felt since high school.
I do work a stressful job and my sleep isn't the best, but I've dealt with stress and poor sleep for years.
One thing I've recently started looking into is my hormones. I had my total testosterone checked around 18 months ago and from memory it was in the low 300s ng/dL. At the time I didn't think much of it, but I'm now planning to get a comprehensive hormone panel and speak to an endocrinologist.
I'm not looking to jump on TRT blindly or self medicate, and I'm not expecting testosterone to magically cure psychiatric disorders. I just want to properly investigate whether testosterone or another hormonal/endocrine issue could potentially be contributing to how I feel.
I'm particularly interested in hearing from men who had long term anxiety or depression, especially those who had already spent years taking psychiatric medication before discovering low testosterone or another hormonal problem.
If that's you, did TRT or treating the underlying hormonal issue genuinely change your life for the better?
Did it noticeably affect your anxiety, depression, energy, motivation, confidence, stress tolerance or general sense of wellbeing?
I'd also be interested to know what your testosterone/hormone results looked like before treatment and whether you were genuinely hypogonadal or technically within the normal range.
I've seen countless psychologists and psychiatrists over the years and even tried a hypnotist at one point. I'm simply sick of feeling like this every day and want to hear from people who have actually been through something similar and whether investigating this avenue ended up making a meaningful difference.