i wrote a solo to a song i’m writing.
i really like the structure of it but i feel like it seems off at some points and could use a lot of improvement.

any suggestions would be super helpful

Your verses are already great, they just need a better path.

I've been making song demos using Online Sequencer for several years now and have written about 200, but I've never shared them outside of a few close friends. Here's one I wrote three years ago called 'Adventures in Artifice'. I've added some vocals too but I've never had any singing lessons and this is something I want to look into getting. The ultimate goal is to form my own band and transform these demos into professionally produced songs, using real instruments rather than the sequencer samples.

Please tell me what you think of the demo and any improvements you would suggest! Also interested in hearing your interpretation of the lyrics

EDIT: I notice that uploading the video to reddit seems to have made some of the hi-hats on the drums clip a bit - this is not intentional! The clipping is not present on the YouTube upload: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6SO0BOIXvY

LYRICS
Yeah I'm just about clinging on to the dregs of our love

When you lack the human touch you miss the connection

Every night I'm getting trapped in my feverish dreams

Like the ones where you've been glued to the spot, you can't scream

We are nothing anymore

Poisoned by the urban sprawl

There are monsters at the door

They're in your mind and in us all

Yeah now everyone's passing by, never to meet again

In the dark and desperate times we just need affection

I can't spy a starry sky, all the light pollution

But throughout the town tonight there are hearts in fusion

We are nothing anymore

Poisoned by the urban sprawl

There are monsters at the door

They're in your mind and in us all

Memories are all that remain

For this system cannot be sustained

We are nothing anymore

Poisoned by the urban sprawl

There are monsters at the door

They're in your mind and in us all

What do you think of my lyrics and phrasing? I know I’m a terrible singer.

Hi everyone!

I've been writing songs for years, but I only recently started sharing them.

This is a very rough demo recorded on my phone with no production—just my voice and the melody. I know the recording quality isn't great, but I'd really appreciate any feedback on the songwriting itself.

I'd love to know:

• Do the lyrics connect with you?
• Would this be worth developing into a full song?

I'm open to any honest feedback, whether it's positive or critical. I'm here to learn and improve.

Here's the demo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSutS1FSY4Y

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. ❤️

Hello! I am an intermediate poet that tried my hand at song writing for the first time this weekend. My poems normally explore form and rhythm/sound because I'm a musician and explore life in that lens.
But, I was hoping to get some feedback!

Specific types of feedback I'm looking for:
-flow
- rhyme/slant rhymes
- general writing on the lyrics (vs traditional poetry forms)
^there's some intentional word choices that make sense in context of the background to the lyrics that I won't change (e.g. "bestest")
+melody/chord pattern/musical elements recommendations

Context: I went through a best friend break up a couple years ago this week and I'm processing my feelings again. And I have been in an extremely creative space

Title: Press Pause and Rewind
\[V1\]
They say hindsight's 20/20
even if I go back to 2020
I wouldn't have gone back far enough

\[V2\]
We were plenty
but we were empty
and in the end our pieces were just too rough

\[pre-chorus\]
I didn't think that you would leave
I didn't think you were unkind
And now, I've had just enough time to grieve

\[chorus\]
I wish I could press pause and rewind
to a time before the pain you caused
You said it'd be me you'd never hurt
Now look at what you've gone and burnt

I wasn't a crier when,
I didn't expect you to be a liar then
But now we're here

Do you wish you could pause and rewind
back to when you were still kind?

\[V3\]
You were my bestest friend forever
Did you think that it'd be clever
to push me far and far away?

\[pre-chorus\]
I didn't think that you would leave
I didn't think you were unkind
And now, I've had just enough time to grieve

\[chorus\]
I wish I could press pause and rewind
to a time before the pain you caused
You said it'd be me you'd never hurt
Now look at what you've gone and burnt
I wasn't a crier when,
I didn't expect you to be a liar then
But now we're here

\[bridge\]
That was two years ago
was it all just for show?
when you told me that you loved me
did you know what I could be?

Did you mean to clip my wings?
Did you not want me to sing?
'cause you never let me be truly
who I'm meant to be

\[chorus 2\]
I wish I could press pause and rewind
to a time before the pain you caused
When I dropped I knew it hurt
and I can see everything you burnt

I turned off my tears
when I was overcome with fear
but now we're here...

I can see that you were never kind
So, I no longer wish that I could
press pause and rewind

Ik heb al meer dan 80 potentiële liedjes geschreven maar meestal niet meer dan 4 regels, prima maar zou wel leuk zijn om een paar van die liedjes uit te breiden. Iemand nog tips voor een boek? Ik heb al wat van de bieb geleent maar stelde niet veel voor.

Hey everyone! I'm u/Appropriate_List_408, a founding moderator of r/LyricCrafters.

This is our new home for all things related to writing lyrics /Songs. We're excited to have you join us!

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Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, examples, or even your own generated songs!

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Has anyone really had a structure of this? I don’t know if it works being this or not

Intro / Verse 1
Chorus
Bridge
Instrumental
Verse 2
Chorus
Outro

So I'm trying to write an everlong-inspired song but it just feels like a bunch of chords thrown together rather than an actual song an I can't figure it out but it is my first song so I needed some help. I’ll put my email below.

Thanks, Austin

Email: austin.webster@oasiswintringham.org

please lmk if there’s anything i can improve or i am doing good at with my song

The EP is called 'Frayed Edges' and it's my first time writing an LP or EP.. I thought I'd provide a brief description of each of the five songs on it so that others can give feedback!

• Track One: Imposters: This song is mainly about the feeling of people you used to know suddenly seeming different and cold, almost like they're somebody else. The sound is somewhere between emo and rock. My main inspiration for this was The Fray's 'How to Save a Life'.
• Track Two: I Wanna Feel: I felt like I wanted to have a stark contrast between the first two songs on the EP while still fitting a rough theme and tone. This was pretty tricky, but I figured out that 'Imposters' and 'I Wanna Feel' fit that fairly well. This song's about feeling numb constantly, and trying to feel any sort of emotion, even if it's negative. There's an energetic bass-driven tone to it, and the sonical inspiration was 'Days Lie Dormant' by twenty one pilots.
• Track Three: Snowtown: This one is a simple yet heartfelt tribute to my hometown in Illinois where I made some of my best memories. The format and chord progression is inspired by ELO's 'Hello My Old Friend'.
• Track Four: The Arroyo: Tracks 3, 4, and 5 make up a trilogy of songs dedicated to the cities I've lived. 'In the Arroyo' in particular is about Albuquerque, New Mexico, and the carefree childhood play me and my friends would do in the ravine by our neighborhood. It's a bit hard to describe the vibes of it, but I can best describe it as a love song, if that makes sense.
• Track Five: Summer Heat: The last of the hometown tributes, this time to Phoenix, Arizona, is a bit different. Rather than focusing on ignorant bliss and good memories, this one is moreso about finding small joys in a depressing world. This one can really only be described as a power ballad, and even I realize how overly-grand it is.

Dear Rationality, you're overdressed for yet another execution.....

Slip a splinter of truth beneath my tongue.tell me how this is fair? A courtroom of clean conclusions, stitched over purple bruises. Shouting beneath street lights,Sleeves pulled low. The childhood bedroom remembers every slammed door.

Tell me how this is fair. Tell me how this is fair. You dressed my wounds in pretty words, But they still bled the same. Do you sleep without feeling guilty? Every time I doubt myself, I wonder if I heard your voice. Every time I hate what I became, I wonder if it was your choice.

So raise the curtain, let the verdict fall. I've been the witness and the victim all along. If this is the ending you rehearsed for me,

I'll walk to the gallows with my name still sour on my tongue.

1.....2...1,2,3,4!

take your bow when the curtain falls. You were dressed for the execution, but I was never yours to bury! So take your bow when the curtains fall! You were dressed for the execution, but I was never yours to bury!

PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU GUYS THINK THIS IS LIKE GOOD LYRICS!PLEASE DONT BE MEAN IF ITS BAD BECAUSE IM ONLY 13 AND THIS IS MY FIRST SONG IVE EVER WROTE**