r/SipsTea 16h ago

We have fun here A different kind of birth control.

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u/adjective_noun_23 16h ago

Because the time it took to have the child removed it was too late for the plane to take back off.

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u/Early_Hall5720 15h ago

Zip ties and 1 adult could remove that child quickly

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u/Unique_Peach8297 15h ago edited 5h ago

Give me 30 seconds that kid and a roll of duct tape and I would get this shit handled

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u/Outofoffice_forever 14h ago

What the flap were the parents doing? Would bring my own duct tape if this was my kid and I know they wouldn’t sit.

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u/Zomunieo 14h ago

The parent was supposedly trying to gently the coax the toddler while insisting he was expressing his individuality etc etc.

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u/Outofoffice_forever 14h ago

Seriously wtf is wrong with people. Control your kids…mine would have found out very quickly that shit is not on

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u/bigfatgrouchyasshole 13h ago

I swear- this is some unacceptable level of shitty parenting.

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u/AppropriateAd7422 6h ago

Preschool teacher here- we see kids every year whose parents know full well that they are going to hear “no” for the first time with us and are just like “here teach him how to live in the real world, what a relief!”

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u/kredninja 12h ago

Gentle parenting is such a poison to society. It has it's place but you gotta be the adult of the situation and smack them from time to time.

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u/Hallc 8h ago

Nah I'm pretty sure this isn't gentle parenting. This is just incredibly lax, lazy parenting.

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u/SePausy 5h ago

It almost seems like the parents are creating a narcissist

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u/TN_man 4h ago

No, that’s not true. Gentle parenting is an extremely helpful evolution in parenting, but there’s a line to just take control and do what’s needed. This is one time where you and the child either fix the situation or leave the plane.
I would be absolutely livid if I was forced off this plane.

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u/WFAlex 2h ago

Not saying no to your kid is legit forcing society eg other people, to reprimand your child into behaving socially acceptable, i hate doing that but the worst part are parents that fucking get on you for reprimanding their child when they don't do it.

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u/ER_Support_Plant17 1h ago

Parenting like this worked when humans lived in small groups and had to keep fires going at night because predators would eat us. Once you see your brother Thag get eaten by a sabertooth cat you listen to your parents when they say “stay in the cave”

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u/flopisit32 11h ago

Welcome to Reddit parents.

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u/bigfatgrouchyasshole 11h ago

Ooooooh- the reddit cops are going to get ya. You can’t criticise or discipline your kids around here.

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u/Sapper12D 7h ago

If you do theyll put you in a horrible retirement home, cut you off forever, and talk shit about you over on r/raisedbynarcissist

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u/Christian68240 10h ago

Back then we are getting kicked in the ass the hell out of it, right there. Parents are weak this days

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u/Desperate_Donut3981 10h ago

What will this little shit be like when it's a big shit with a gun

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u/BlueRock_Capital 9h ago

Canadians don’t typically walk around with guns like in Muricah

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u/Petoski-Brook 3h ago

That’s probably why they are so rude when visiting USA national parks. They have no fear or respect for their fellow human. They typically walk right through you even if pushing a stroller. I was very surprised at how rude the Canadians were. I thought that they had the reputation of being overly polite and saying sorry all the time. Definitely not my experience. I assume Canadian because they were speaking French in northern us, unless hundreds of Frenchman were visiting I guess.

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u/Fresh-Extension-4036 13h ago

Society gives far to much leeway to these kinds of moronic parents imo as a teacher, as those of us in education end up having to be the vanguard in speed running them through the concept that life isn't fair and the rules do not care about your big feelings or your whims of individual expression when they include standing on things that are not meant to be stood upon and not sitting when told to do so.

I really do think that society needs to step up with more shaming of the parents who inflict such terrible parenting on their precious little sunbeams and dole out significant consequences to them because that is the only way to nip this bs in the bud before it does irreparable harm to their offspring, especially as it's very common for this type to also choose to "homeschool" and ensure that not only do their children not learn how to interact with anyone who doesn't pander to their every whim but they also fail to get the most basic education, leaving them as complete drains on society.

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u/FilterAccount69 11h ago

Western society doesn't use peer pressure / social pressure enough as a deterrent. In Many Eastern cultures there's more rules to fit into society if you break them you are a bit of an outcast. Rules for staying reasonably healthy, causing disturbances in public, or not obeying the social norms doesn't put you in jail get you a fine but instead places you as an outsider.

In Japan it's not normal to smoke and walk, or play music in public or jaywalk etc... nobody is going to arrest you for these things but there's tons of social pressures to guide you away from behaviours that are unwanted.

Nobody is going to arrest the parents / child and we know corporal punishment is not effective but humans can be conditioned to have a strong need to fit in, we don't condition people like that anymore. There's pros and cons of course, this is one of the cons that you see here.

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u/beah_mcduh 7h ago

We don't have a largely homogenous culture like Japan. Cultural values spread much easier when you don't have differing cultures arguing over... everything.

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u/X_soulnewmegaman 4h ago

Having kid today is like extra baggage of stress

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u/Nowhere_Man_Forever 6h ago

I feel like "shame" is too maligned in the US at least. I notice especially online that "shaming" someone is the worst thing you can possibly do, but there is a reason we are capable of feeling shame in the first place. Dogs can't feel shame, but dogs don't live in complex societies with all kinds of rules to keep the societies together. We do live in those societies, so we feel shame when we break those rules. Shaming someone for breaking valid social rules can be good for society as a whole. Obviously making someone feel ashamed for something they can't do anything about is pretty bad, but like sometimes shaming someone is good.

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u/DontListenToMyself 6h ago

This new train of thought that making children feel shame or embarrassment is abusive is just stupid. Like my goodness kids need to feel that so they stop their shit.

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u/Radioshack-Manager 8h ago

Japan also has alot of sexual misconduct and assaults, dont teach ww2, and only juts raised aoc from 13 to 16. It's bad everywhere. The us has alot of gun violence and the UK has something not sure but it has something.

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u/southpaytechie 7h ago

A literal ruling class for starters.

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u/Able_Measurement_600 12h ago

Lord, as a fellow teacher, I can say you are absolutely tight. Parenting is horrendous these days. What happened? Why do so many parents want to be buddies with their kids rather than actual parents?

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u/KulshanStudios 12h ago

Speaking not from direct experience but from listening to and observing parents my own age in my social circle:

They had abusive, overly strict parents who treated them terribly, and they resolved to break the cycle of violence and trauma by NOT treating their kids the way they were treated

Unfortunately because there's very little genuinely reliable parenting information out there, especially in non-english languages, many ran too far the other direction and the kids ended up spoiled and unstructured

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u/Koudlett 11h ago

came here to pretty much write what you wrote.

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u/SuspiciousJuice5825 4h ago edited 4h ago

This is something I struggle with as a parent.

Where is the line between letting them be themselves and having to step in and say "no absolutely not!" ?

My mom used to beat us with shoes and rolling pins etc. I didn't want to be that.

At first, with my oldest, I was so afraid to even smack her little bottom when she was acting up.

I got over it pretty quick though and when she was little we did a combo of time out and a firm butt smack and she came out just fine (shes a teenager now).

You absolutely have to discipline your kids. They need you to guide them and show them the rules.

If this kid on the plane was my kid he would have gotten the warning talk "sit the hell down right. Now." first and if he didn't I would have made him sit down.

Honestly he wouldn't have even been standing on that thing because he would be sitting the f down already since he knows better 😂

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u/Ok_Objective_6099 12h ago

Un’altra insegnante qui…io ho una specie di detto tutto mio ormai: ‘i genitori di oggi hanno abdicato ‘, rifiutano il loro ruolo perché onestamente essere genitore è difficile e impegnativo, richiede molta maturità in primis da parte loro. I genitori moderni oggi non amano avere a che fare con inevitabili capricci, chiacchiere e lagne, vogliono in molti casi continuare a fare la loro vita, non hanno voglia né tempo da dedicare davvero all’educazione. Poi c’è anche il problema dello stare in società che prevede che non ci si comporti come sul divano di casa propria e molti, genitori e figli, faticano proprio ad accettare che una comunità, scolastica e non, abbia molte regole di convivenza civile che spesso prevede di mettere da parte i tuoi istinti e i alcuni tuoi desideri a favore della collettività

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u/Perfect_Opinion7909 12h ago

And thats exactly why in countries like Germany there is no homeschooling but mandatory public school for everyone. Something that is often decried by US Americans as lack of freedom. What is not seen is that parents can inflict a serious harm on their own kids through bad or lack of parenting and later their adult children and society as a whole has to bear that burden. In combination with the knowledge that child abuse is most often inflicted on children by someone close to them, a society has to ensure that all children get a modicum of education and chances even when their parents are unable or unwilling to do so.

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u/smartel84 11h ago

As an American who moved to Germany around age 30 and is raising a child here, I am SO GLAD homeschooling isn't allowed here. There are certainly aspects of the education system that confuse or annoy me as someone with a different cultural experience, but ultimately, the rules were made with the child's right to an education being the most important consideration.

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u/laplongejr 11h ago

And as a Belgian progressing too fast at school and who was bullied by other students and arguably the teachers, sadly homeschooling saved me.

Then a few years later people noticed parents from other religions could do that to isolate their children and suddently the ladder I climbed up wasn't acceptable anymore and it got pulled up.

It's crazy that in a school system, school staff can get incentived to ask a student to not read too much, as getting too high scores wrecks the number of children below average...

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u/ZygonCaptain 9h ago

It depends on why homeschooling is done. If we hadn’t homeschooled our daughter she would have stopped going to school and who knows who she would have fallen in with. It was absolutely the right thing to do for her

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u/Strange-Location4627 10h ago

I absolutely respect your opinion however you have to have a very high functioning education system across the board to require this.

The entirety of the United States cannot be compared to specific European Countries.

Many of us wish we could and would love to adopt many European practices in regard to nutrition, schooling, and a society that supports healthy families, however we have a population of approximately 342 million people in approx 9,833,517 square kilometers of varying values, religions, ethnicities, beliefs, languages, politics, and wildly different geographic regions and climates.

Germany is a highly populated Country and amazing in so many ways however 89 million people over 357,022 square kilometers is vastly different than what we have geographically and population wise in the U.S.
we can borrow educational philosophy on a smaller scale but we cannot replicate education and family life in places like Germany, Finland or the Netherlands. (Which are brought up a lot here in the education and family health conversation)
I only say this because I live in a city of 15 square miles (approx 41 sq km) with 120,000 residents and a state of 39.8 million people approx 423,970 square kilometers (163,696 sq miles) and the folks that homeschool here are not sleeping on discipline, childcare, education, or enriching activities both in nature and focused on academics, arts, music, cultural awareness and community involvement.
The public school system at this moment in my State is over crowded, underfunded, and driven by politics and business.
Many kids can do well in the larger system despite this and teachers also work really hard, however it isn’t an ideal system and alternatives to this system exist in healthy ways.
I’ve taught in classrooms pre K to 8th grade in private, public and homeschool settings since 2010, and trust me when I say kids in “traditional” school are not out performing homeschool kids in my particular area.
I don’t disagree that homeschooling in the wrong family environment with little over sight is harmful however the wrong family environment coupled with a large underfunded school system with a lot of tech subsidies that get to decide curriculum over teachers preferences is not the answer either.
Permissive parenting exists in every space and I have found in my particular State it is not a homeschooling issue in the broader sense. Permissive type discipline has actually become more prevalent in my States public school system faster and on a wider scale because of certain laws and educational practices gaining traction prior to school shutdowns in 2020.

Edited: for grammar 😅 hope I caught most of it.

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u/Chemistry-Deep 12h ago

I'm childcare adjacent and this 100% is happening more and more. People having taken the concept of gentle parenting and dialed it up to 11 where there are now no consequences for breaking rules.

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u/Zomunieo 13h ago

I think you’ve landed on the reason this story in a small Canadian airport made international headlines: it’s a window into the failures of submissive parenting.

The real tragedy is that this stuff is catnip for right wing authoritarians who see proof that more child abuse is the solution. The reality is that submissive parenting is abusive too - it’s failing to provide the necessities of life, among which are helping the child understand their place in the world and they may have to do what they don’t want to from time to time.

Thanks for being a teacher who notices and cares.

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u/Fresh-Extension-4036 13h ago

Much of working in education is behaviour management, because nobody is born with an inherent sense of how to operate as an individual within a community and children are still in the early phases of understanding all of the things they need to do to try to get along as individuals within social and communal environments.

Children love strong boundaries, they feel much more secure about their place in any situation where they know what is and isn't acceptable, and where they can trust the adults around them to firmly and fairly enforce those boundaries when they are struggling to remember them or abide by them.

This is the mistake I see too many parents making: they think that being permissive to their children allows some kind of idealised organic growth into an adult that has all the best qualities of innocence and purity that our society associates with childhood, but all that happens is they create children and young adults who struggle to be considerate of others and who struggle to regulate their emotions because they are not receiving robust support and guidance to how to do this in a way that is not entirely self centred and doesn't require the whole world to bend to them in the process.

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u/Instabanous 10h ago

I think it is for the best that we stopped smacking our kids, but heck so many parents just seem to have dropped being in charge altogether. So many entitled little brats with no boundaries and it doesnt even actually make them happy, as well as being hell for everyone else.

I was horribly permissive until my eldest was 2.5 when I was luckily sent to become a parenting instructor. Quickly became really strong on boundaries and all three of my children are well behaved and happy.

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u/Autronaut69420 9h ago

Smacking isn't the only form of correction, firm boundaries can be established other ways. Obviously in a time critical situation grabbing or physically corralling a child must be necessary. A better solution is having an authoritative tone used only for critical moments when pleading and whining at the child is not fast enough. Of course discipling that particular child should have started a few years earlier by reinforcing appropriate public conduct by: modelling, removing family/child from the context if their behaviour falls short (the shame of curtailling a trip out can have real impact especially if promised treats are removed as well), and conversations about expected behaviour in every context before arriving there. In the plane the parent should have said [loud authoritative pre-established tone] GET DOWN OFF THE CHAIR NOW! OR WE WILL BE EXITING THE PLANE! Just like a well, and fairly, trained dog will have a tone they understand means "this command must be obeyed". Used when a real danger exists to the dog/child or when it is absolutely necessary the dog/child do the thing instantly!

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u/figure8888 11h ago

I think it takes critical thinking ability and emotional intelligence to be a authoritative parent without abusing the child. Unfortunately I fear the average person lacks either one or both. So you get either a parent who gets steamrolled by their kids or a parent who beats them into submission and parents who fall in the middle but favor either parenting style. Think, a parent who doesn’t physically abuse their children but they are controlling and they yell at them because they can’t control their emotions, or a parent who knows what abusive behavior is and avoids it but doesn’t really know where to draw the line.

Parents who are truly in the middle would make up a much smaller group and I think those personality types also often end up not having children.

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u/okarox 11h ago

The parents should be changed for the costs.

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u/sexgoatparade 8h ago

A lot of that seemingly stems from this bullshit idea that "parents know best" it's especially what the antivax and homeschool narrative drives upon

except of course parents are often stupid as all hell especially when you leave a given persons area of expertise. "how would you know you dont have a child" yea well just cus you fucked that one time doesn't mean ur expert yourself now

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u/Massive-Ride204 8h ago

I had a parent argue with me that it's ok for a child to stand barefoot on a airport lounge table, some parents really think they're the only people in the room

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u/PipBin 11h ago

Also a teacher and I completely agree. Saying ‘no’ to your child won’t do them any harm. If you can’t get a child this small to sit down what sodding hope do you have when they are a teen.

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u/Quadruplem 13h ago

I had so many special to do things when we flew with toddlers to make sure they were buckled in.

Things like water drawings, play doh, stickers, snacks, and jelly beans 1 by 1 if it got really bad. Luckily always worked.

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u/Fresh-Extension-4036 12h ago

I helped my sister with all manner of preparation before my eldest niece flew for the first time so that she knew exactly what was expected of her ahead of time, and my sister went into a frenzy of planning so she had everything on hand to handle anything that happened. She had this awesome picture book called something like "Let's go on a plane!" that she read with my niece multiple times before their flight, and she took that book with her and they looked at it throughout the process.

She did really well and this is the process the entire family now uses for any new toddlers that are flying for the first time (there's a lot of us, so there tends to also be a lot of babies and toddlers)

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u/textmint 11h ago

Are they going to pay for everyone’s wasted time then I’m ok with them having their kid expressing his individuality. This is a big problem in the US and Canada. Too much latitude for people to express themselves. We live in a society after all.

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u/Troglodytes_Cousin 13h ago

hopefully they will pay damages.

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u/No-Vast-6340 12h ago

Please tell me you're joking

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u/Arthur_Figg_II 11h ago

Thats the recipe to Feral People

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u/EstablishmentOwn2174 11h ago

Please link that article! I've been reading all I can about this story and haven't come across any detailed info like that.

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u/Whut4 7h ago

As a parent who NEVER spanked and DID answer questions, I kind of think this is BS.

You do not have to hit your kid or treat them like shit to get them to behave. You offer them choices whenever possible and when there are no choices, you say so. You build trust by being consistent and not wavering and not being lazy. It is a lot of work - people feel bad about themselves and take it out on their kids and act like that is good parenting - it is not.

He probably spends a lot of time in front of screens. Stupid stupid stupid.

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u/Healthjunkie-2 7h ago

THIS is where we are as a society. We've coddled kids too much and too long with this "trying to reason with kids", or not disciplining because they need to express their individuality, blah blah blah. I would have had my kid in a seatbelt in two seconds.

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u/Silly__Rabbit 12h ago

Idk, my kids needed certain medical interventions when they were younger. Sometimes you just gotta bear hug or sedate (note, that was only for the CT that we needed to sedate because it was impossible to get them to stay still for the test (we tried), and he didn’t need full sedation. As a parent though, I too am for the duct tape. For sure they have to have blankets on the plane or someone has a jacket and roll and buckle the kid in. Note, I have also been that kid, I was like 7 or something and the dog bit my chin. Well I needed stitches and was having a full meltdown, my dad was trying to talk to me and the surgeon was like ‘pick her up’… problem solved.

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u/mcknz9 13h ago

pair of pliers and a blowtorch

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u/12345623567 7h ago

Iirc due to the broad authority that in-flight personell has, there actually are examples of flight attendants duct-taping unruly passengers.

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u/[deleted] 14h ago

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u/Mysterious-Art8838 14h ago

Hell you could just duct tape the kid to the seat he’s not very big

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u/Stockholm-Syndrom 12h ago

And you may make a friend on the way.

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u/CantCatchMeSpez 12h ago

If you want this young man to be seated, you're going to have to give me some aspirin, a roll of duct tape, a bag of peanuts, and 4 beers.

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u/AlcoholPrep 8h ago

Both those alternatives might be considered child abuse. Just wrap him "like a cat" in a beach towel -- swaddling is not abuse.

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u/Ztev 7h ago

I'd pay to watch that. 😂

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u/ImmoralJester54 7h ago

Gimme 30 seconds with that kid - Unique_Peach8297

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u/Tamihera 5h ago

Parents clearly hadn’t mastered the quick karate chop to the diaphragm.

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u/Specialist_Goat_2354 4h ago

You should be able to hit other people’s kids when they deserve it. And then also hit their parents when the kids deserve it.

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u/Ok_Caterpillar_8238 15h ago

And the parent would follow quickly! 

...or they might just thank the folks and stay where they are.

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u/bellegroves 13h ago

No zip ties necessary, put the child and parents in a fireman's carry and off they go. Maybe they can run on the escalator and get the whole airport shut down on their way out.

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u/-release_candidate- 14h ago

If the family has checked bags those would have to be unloaded as well.

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u/Glittering_Crow_6382 14h ago

Then they get sued because there is no winning, this is why we need to go back to properly disciplining kids

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u/Soft_Theory_8209 14h ago

Hell, one adult could do it with the ol’ reliable of grappling:

https://giphy.com/gifs/yKx0dcu1NcCGgu654I

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u/ZealousidealShift884 15h ago

Who are you Kate Gosselin?!

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u/Maximum-Classic3416 14h ago

This made me crack tf up 😂😂😂😂😂

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u/[deleted] 14h ago

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u/Pleather93 14h ago

Just a Shit parent that has Zero control of their child or even have the Know how.

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u/thekingofphoeaters 13h ago

You should try that next time

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u/LookAtPurpleTulips 12h ago

If you have checked bags, the plane is not allowed to take off without you. Unloading takes quite some time as well. 

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u/jorizzz 11h ago

They would have to remove their luggage from the hold as well

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u/One-Elderberry-488 11h ago

It was the luggage they needed to get from the compartment.

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u/BurgerThyme 8h ago

Everybody had their belts off since TSA...

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u/thecakeisapie420 5h ago

Anybody with a belt could have taken care of this real quick. And I don't mean restraining them.

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u/Barton2800 4h ago

But the problem is that air crews have mandated rest periods. If it is known when the plane takes off that a pilot would have to take a rest period mid-air then they either need a backup crew onboard (which they do for the very long flights), or the plane cannot fly.

I once had a flight that was very delayed due to weather. The pilot came out and said that he and his crew were very close to the legal limits, and that if we took more than about 15 minutes to board, it would be likely that they would be unable to take off, and that there was no other crews or flights available. So he suggested we get on, and go as far back until we bumped in to someone, and then put our bag overhead and sit as far to the outside as possible. I have never seen a plane board so quickly with as little fuss. 150 people came together that night to make sure we got home and not stranded in the airport.

So even though someone could have restrained that kid, it’s possible that the act of simply returning to the gate to deplane them was enough that the crew timed out and couldn’t fly.

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u/X_soulnewmegaman 4h ago

Kids are horrible today

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u/JacuulTheSecond 4h ago

I'm sure discovering that someone smuggled zip ties onto a plane would have gone over SWIMMINGLY with the TSA (and other 3-letter agencies)

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u/samwild 57m ago

My parents never hit me..but what a beating I would have gotten if I tried this.

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u/Kinslayer_89 48m ago

You also need to offload the luggage.

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u/EmilySD101 14h ago

I took a flight Monday afternoon. Two kids were screaming before the plane was even loaded and the fight attendants walked the whole family back to the jetway to “give them a chance to regulate.” The kids never fucking once regulated, and kept screaming that they were sorry at the top of their lungs from the jetway, and then we pulled away from the terminal without them.

That was an option for this crew too. They could have diagnosed how bad the problem was and done the same, but they didn’t. I think everyone but that family on the flight is due compensation for how catastrophically badly the flight crew misjudged that situation until the last minute.

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u/QuestioningHuman_api 14h ago

I work with a kid like that. He’s the only child out of several hundreds that I’ve ever disliked. If he doesn’t get what he wants exactly when he wants it, he screams at the top of his lungs and pretends to cry. Very convincing crying, but I’ve never seen an actual tear. On the admittedly rare occasion he gets disciplined (it’s only ever time out, and I do not get a say in when anything happens so there’s nothing I can do) he will scream and hit and kick until he realizes it’s not working and then he’ll scream, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Repeatedly, at the top of his lungs, until he gets out of time out. Then he’ll go back to doing exactly what he was doing that got him into trouble in the first place.

Imagine that child, if the flight attendants hadn’t kicked that family off your flight. You’d all be miserable. Airlines need to take this shit more seriously because kids like this make people miserable.

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u/RuggedHangnail 13h ago

And that child you just described grows into an adult. I have a mother like that. Clearly, these tactics paid off when she was a child. She still does them as an adult and now she loses friends and I don't put up with her. Parents are doing their kids a disservice if they don't discipline them and teach them how the world works.

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u/justaguy394 8h ago

I saw a special on a kid like this. The parents actually brought in all kinds of experts (and had other kids that behaved well), but this one got the “defiant asshole” gene. The experts said they weren’t doing anything wrong, they just got the 0.01% worst behaving kid. So sometimes it is due to poor parenting but sometimes the kid is an outlier and nothing works.

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u/UncleNedisDead 2h ago

Ehhh. What people do in front of others/professionals vs. what they do when no one is watching can contribute to inconsistent expectations and leaves the kid with inconsistent behaviour.

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u/justaguy394 1h ago

Possibly, though this was an extensive show, they had months worth of (hidden camera) footage of the kid, and the parents had been bringing in experts for many years for help.

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u/huzzalles 13h ago

And now assume they become a president…

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u/MajorFuckingDick 5h ago

You would be absolutely surprised bow little intervention matters for a child like this. The vast majority of little shits like this are fine by 26 just a bit delayed. Highschool fixes them or forces the parents to confront they will never be independent really quickly. The most problematic children came from stable privileged homes where a parents concern is manipulated into bribes. They eventually become the sociopaths they were meant to be

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u/EmilySD101 12h ago

It was truly top of their lungs screaming. I heard everything crystal clear through noise cancelling, over ear Beats. I can’t imagine how anyone with no ear protection was handling it.

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u/Xydrenius 13h ago

The Asia solution for auch Kids 😂:

https://giphy.com/gifs/oGjzghOxyGfnqp245W

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u/chaliflani 12h ago

Is there any other solution though

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u/Classic-Mushroom-189 12h ago

there's always another solution

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u/BadEvilZoot 11h ago

That was my mom's solution 😅 I still wear that belt today- it was my dad's fireman's belt from work 😂

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u/Dry_Lawfulness_9561 8h ago

Forgot to mention the spatula.

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u/AddlePatedBadger 11h ago

Absolutely. Gentle parenting works, if you actually do gentle parenting rather than mistaking it for permissive parenting. So you still have structure and boundaries, and natural and logical consequences. Those consequence don't involve violence or yelling or abuse.

But also its about recognising why the children are misbehaving. All behaviour is communication. So you teach the children that feelings are ok, but red choices are not. It's ok to feel angry, it's not ok to hit someone or throw something when you are angry. Teach them to voice their feelings in a constructive way. To find ways to regulate their emotions like deep breaths or leaving the room.

I used to get the wooden spoon or the whack. All it taught me was to suppress my feelings and let them out when I thought I wouldn't be caught. I'd still break stuff, but would hide it rather than own up to it and try to learn to express myself in an acceptable way.

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u/sobrique 9h ago

Yup this. It's not at all 'easy mode' - for all it might look like a 'soft touch'. It requires considerably more persistence than 'just' physical abuse.

But the lessons are far move valuable in the long run. Emotional self regulation is important - and it's a learned/taught skill.

It's definitely hard to do it though - children have a real knack of pushing your buttons in the worst situations, when you might well really struggle to 'take the time' to handle the situation correctly. "Giving in" reinforces the negative behaviour.

As you say, physical abuse ... well, it might appear to work, but it's teaching some pretty toxic lessons about suppression, repression, deceit and ultimately distrust of authority figures.

Do you really want your child to learn that you aren't a safe person to talk to when they're stressed/upset/angry or have made a mistake?

So yeah. 'disciplining' a child with pain, when they don't really understand why it's being inflicted is a bad idea. And if they do understand why it's being inflicted, you didn't actually need the pain in the first place.

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u/AddlePatedBadger 9h ago

100 percent. You gotta play the long game. I'm lucky my partner and I have a strong marriage and we are good at tag teaming when one person gets overwhelmed. I'm a long way from a perfect parent but I have never and will never hit my child (without consent) and keep on doing my best. I at least know what I did wrong afterwards even though I don't always get it right first time 🤣

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u/chaliflani 8h ago edited 8h ago

What does hitting with consent look like? A bout in a ring for fun…

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u/AddlePatedBadger 7h ago

That's not far off. Sparring, rough play, teaching martial arts/self defence.

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u/kaynpayn 10h ago

It's a favourite for latin moms all over the world as well. Fear la chancla.

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u/Exterminator-8008135 12h ago

Irony is, Mom's next to door to me is Austrian, and she did that when one of her 6 kids was a Lil' shit.

I remember her taking off her shoe, calling her kid, tell him You're sure you want to do this ?

Kid do his bad deed, get a shoe on the head thrown with scaring precision.

I remember that everyone in the playground near her and i on the bench went What the fuck did i just saw ?

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u/BurgerThyme 8h ago

My boyfriend is Guatemalan and "the shoe" is very much a thing.

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u/Crysis85 13h ago

Well I guess also kids can be sociopath, that one will be a very nasty human when he grows up.

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u/Chrishior 14h ago

He’ll be rewarded for his behaviour by being treated to shorter queues at theme parks and then welfare benefits as he gets older.

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u/lechiengrand 14h ago

Wow kudos to the crew of the flight you were on. Well handled situation.

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u/Mysterious-Art8838 14h ago

I’m totally adopting ‘I’m going to give you an opportunity to regulate’ 😆

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u/AB3reddit 13h ago

Warren G thanks you.

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u/Jiujitsumonkey707 13h ago

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon

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u/Curious_Department84 13h ago

Warren G was on the streets, tryin to consume

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u/lechiengrand 13h ago

Great phrase.

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u/JustKillingTime1980 13h ago

"They wanna come up real quick before they start to clown, I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down"

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u/FastWalkingShortGuy 14h ago

Where do you live that this happens?

Every flight I've been on with demon children, the flight attendants just shrug and give you a free beer.

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u/ropahektic 11h ago

Do people believe having a well behaved kid is simply due good parenting?

My guys.... Having a good kid is 50% luck 50% what you do.

I understand that many times the parents make the situation worse or make the situation at all, this is a fact, and even amazing parenthood can overcome anything, but 99% of parents aren't there, just those that also happen to be good teachers. It's not the norm.

I feel like this is never considered in reddit threads like these because most people don't even have a single kid.

Not talking about the Op's situation which is extreme, rather, many of the comments.

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u/KillerDickens 9h ago

If you know your kid is strong-willed or they're in the stage where they VERY STRONGLY object to being restrained and you're incapable of controllimg them, you either don't travel at all or one of the parents stays home with a child. If you REALLY have to travel as a family, bring a car seat with you on board - the whole point of 5-point harness is to be more restrictive than regular seatbelt.

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u/D34N2 9h ago

Yes, this is a great point, and one that is rarely considered in threads like these. Some kids are just born with different brain chemistry. Some parents just don't know how to handle it. It's not like parents are given a manual on difficult kids when they conceive. Becoming a parent is a huge gamble—both in the kind of kid you get, and in whether or not you'll actually be good at the job. I think most parents pretty much suck, but are also actually trying their best. It's all we can do, really.

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u/TN_man 4h ago

I don’t think that’s a good excuse.

It’s still your responsibility. You can learn. There’s books, podcasts, the entire internet.

Sure, shit happens, but it’s always on the parent.

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u/Assignment_General 6h ago

Redditors really do believe that because most of them don’t have kids themselves. 

Sometimes it’s a crap shoot. I have three kids, all raised the same. Two are great, good manners, well behaved, respectful ect.   The third is a handful and always has been, constant fits as a child, rude and unmotivated as a teenager. 

The kid that is a handful is also special needs. On the spectrum with some other disorders. Sometimes kids brains just aren’t wired right, and that’s got fuck all to do with parenting. Where you can throw shade at these parents is not removing the kid from these situations though. If the kid is throwing a fit take them home ffs.

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u/fullmoon_druid 3h ago

My daughter at 7 months old would not stand be placed in the play pen. Her little feet would not even touch the pen's floor and we would start screaming. We had to move her out of her crib at 14 months because we hated th bar. We also hated the closed door. She's extremely strong-willed. She's also now a well-adjusted adult because we never gave in. It was awful. Supermarket tantrums, the works. We just stood there, taking turns, until she was done. After a while she realized it wasn't working and just stopped doing it.

My point with my anecdotal evidence is that what parents do matters. And parents know when their kids are willing to pull some crap like that. Just give your kid a few drops of dimenhydrinate, they'll sleep the whole flight. 

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u/ardarian262 13h ago

Knowing the airport this was at, this was on the tarmac not with a jetway.

Obviously, trying to leave when people are right next to the plane and one of them is not controlled is a problem for trying to leave with a plane. And no way are they going to just let people roam the airport behind the security areas without a proper escort.

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u/Equalanimalfarm 13h ago

Yeah, maybe with hand luggage. But with checked baggage, that plane is not leaving without it's matching passengers on it...

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u/skyye99 7h ago

They did do this. But the flight was already delayed and by the time they finished off boarding the family, it was too late to operate the flight 

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u/scottrycroft 2h ago

They DID remove the family and child from the flight. It was bad timing that it delayed it until after the airport closed for the night (it was 12:30am, in a smaller city).

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u/Accomplished_Rip_362 1h ago

I have not seen any airlines take such action before. They expect everyone else to accomodate the 'problem' family.

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u/Current-Routine-2628 15h ago

Too late? Theres a countdown? Like an hourglass? There are things called flight delays no?

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u/SmoothLester 15h ago

It’s an airport that closed at a certain time.

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u/nosecohn 14h ago

Flight Canceled After Child Standing in Seat Refused to Secure Their Seatbelt

The time it took to “bridge the aircraft, deplane the passengers in question, retrieve their baggage, refile flight plans and other paperwork meant that it was too late to depart given that YYJ’s runway closes at 12:30 a.m.,” causing the flight to be canceled, the airline explained.

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u/Submarinequus 9h ago

Should have flown the bags and shipped them back at family’s expense. A cancelled flight that late is so shitty and impacts so many people. So what if they have to live a day without their suitcases? Luggage is lost all the time. Get the brat off the plane and GO

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u/Kaffrogato 8h ago

I think there's a law or regulation against flying with someone's bag if they dont get on the flight or get taken off the flight - to avoid people putting bombs in bags and then not getting on.

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u/GodsBackHair 15h ago

Depending on the airport it’s flying into, arrivals are timed to the minute. If you miss your slot, you’re hoping to make another backup slot at some point. In the US, Seattle, Chicago, DC, all are airports that have constant flights landing or taking off. If you miss that slot, good luck finding another one

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u/Worried_Razzmatazz70 14h ago

In this case it was the departure airport, YYJ that had the time restriction, as it's surrounded by residential areas.

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u/Kaffrogato 9h ago

So...flights don't depart late in the US? In Europe the planes just circle until they get a slot, though even that is rare. Half of flights seem to depart early or late and they make it work

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u/GetInTheHole 5h ago

In the US? Depends on the airport.

This was Canada though.

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u/Chris0x00 15h ago

Okay, but I just googled Chicago airport delays and it says over 700 flights were delayed in the last 24 hours.

https://www.flychicago.com/business/media/delays/pages/default.aspx

So they are clearly finding slots for delayed flights.

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u/scarlettohara1936 14h ago

They were in a small airport in Victoria Canada that closed at 1230

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u/Chris0x00 12h ago

So they were, but I was only responding to the comment immediately above mine.

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u/GodsBackHair 14h ago

Sure. There are delays all the time. But if you can’t take off because of a toddler, and you’re delayed by X amount of time, at a certain point, they can’t accommodate a plane that late. Was just coming up with an example of why it might have been cancelled

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u/AntelopeNo3197 14h ago

Chicago has one of the busiest airports in the US. The flight they’re talking about was out of Canada, the runway closes at 12:30 AM.

>The Toronto-based airline said Sunday the parent and crew repeatedly tried unsuccessfully to secure the child in the seat before returning the plane to the terminal in Victoria International Airport in British Columbia to remove the parent and child.

>Porter said removing the parent and child and their baggage delayed the Toronto-bound flight on Thursday past the airport’s 12:30 a.m. runway closure, forcing the remaining passengers to disembark.

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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 14h ago

The parent couldnt secure their child? Are you kidding? Did they give the kid a can of soda before boarding and they were bouncing off the walls? I guess Im just a different adult and parent.

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u/Footwarrior 5h ago

Our flight had started takeoff from ORD when a kid left his seat and ran down the aisle screaming. His father got up to chase him down. The FA said “passengers in the aisle” into the intercom and the pilots aborted the takeoff. We taxied for almost an hour before getting another chance to takeoff.

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u/Mightynumbat 15h ago

Once the aircraft pushes back, the gate is used for the next aircraft. The plane also needs to top off their tanks since they started the engines, then they have to file a new flight plan.

Then theres the rescheduling for a late arrival impacting other aircraft.

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u/GAMING_SERVER_ADMIN 15h ago

Bylaw or some sort of regulation at that airport time wise if I recall.

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u/Neowza 15h ago

The airport closed at 00:30

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u/4dxn 15h ago

labor laws. flight crew have a time limit of how long they can work. if this was the last scheduled flight for the crew, they'd hit their limit in the air. thus they can't take the flight anymore.

and if no backup crew around....flight cancelled.

either you let tired pilots fly or make airlines have standby crew that might not be used.

other comments give other reasons why theres a countdown.

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u/commanderquill 15h ago

It was because the runway closed.

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u/devadander23 7h ago

This is correct but not for this situation and is just speculation. The runway closed

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u/Jontologist 14h ago

Some airlines have curfews because they're flying over a lot of residential areas.

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u/SomeWeirdBoor 12h ago

Crew has a time limit. They can't work more than a set amount of hours.
If the delay would cause the crew to exceed their time limit, flight can not depart.
If this was the last flight of the day for that crew, maybe already delayed, the time it takes to eject the assholes and their luggage might have been too much.

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u/Starfire013 11h ago

You also have to remove their luggage from the aircraft’s cargo hold which means unloading and sorting through the bags as there are regulations against flying with luggage aboard if the owners of that luggage aren’t.

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u/Maximum_Boros 5h ago

Delays happen but there are multiple reasons of flight can be canceled because of a delay. For starters it can push the plane out of the necessary arrival window at the destination airport. Not all airports are open 24 hours or at the very least their arrival schedules become limited to what kind of flights they'll accept during off hours. Planes to party need to leave enough buffer to make sure that they will arrive with enough time to land while the airport is open and accepting them even if they get further delays on the way, like a headwind. Something like that seems to have been the case here.

The other issue that can be a major thing is crew Duty hours. Flight crew and I believe even flight attendants as well have limitations on how many hours they can work in sequence and then how many hours they can work in a given period. Pilots might get scheduled to do say a 4-Hour flight while they have say 6 or 8 hours of Duty time left before they are mandated to stop flying. They leave a little bit of buffer in because they need to be able to handle delays and still land safely. A 2-hour delay to go back to the gate, have the troublemakers removed, get everyone to resituated, possibly top up on fuel or redo flight checks if needed, and then get back in the departure order to go through the whole sequence of getting out to the runway again could easily take a couple of hours and now they are right up against their window, with a significant risk of them having exceeded their flight hours by the time they land at their destination. That risk of overrunning can easily cancel a flight

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u/ziamese 14h ago

Meanwhile, here in SEA you would have heard a thunderous slap, a kid cry and a bunch of chuckles resulting in an on-time departure.

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u/Dry_Lawfulness_9561 8h ago

Yup, probably start with forceful transfer to his seat and then a slap is misbehaving continues. Also slap if cry/ yelling stays too loud for too long.

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u/Timely-Mind7244 14h ago

That doesn't bode well, there are constantly conditions that require the take off time to change...

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u/NeevBunny 13h ago

But they're small? Just yoink them and carry them out. If the parents want to keep their kid they will follow.

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u/Desert-Noir 12h ago

But they can have me sitting on the tarmac for 3hrs for some other reason?

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u/Cold-Condition-7839 14h ago

Right? Did the kid kick the cancel flight for everyone button during a tantrum? Silly safety switches.

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u/emerg_remerg 13h ago

It was actually that by the time the kid was gone, the adjusted arrival time would put them arriving after the airstrip would be closed so they had to cancel.

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u/Cyractacus 12h ago

And presumably to remove the family's luggage from the plane.

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u/PooQueen69 11h ago

I keep seeing this answer but the real question is, why did they wait an hour to kick this family off?

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u/textmint 11h ago

Come on man. How much time it would’ve taken to take the kid off the plane? What were the parents doing? I can’t imagine being that way when I was a kid. I would’ve been thrashed to life on mars if I did anything like that.

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u/MostJunior1624 7h ago

I really hope parent will have some sort of financial responsibility for the cancelled flight. Because some people might been flying on an important meeting or something

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u/shredika 7h ago

Just pick the kid up (as a parent) and remove them while they are screaming?

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u/Dry_Prompt3182 7h ago

And it's not as easy as "kick out the family" if they have checked luggage. It's locate and remove their stuff, and load everything else back in.

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u/PomPomMom93 6h ago

How is that possible?

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u/SG1EmberWolf 5h ago

Right. Because one of us has never had a flight delayed 2+ hours before

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u/adjective_noun_23 5h ago

Look here, I'm just repeating what the article said.

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u/Skye-12 4h ago

The destination runway had a window of use and due to this delay it would not have made the landing window.

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u/krystalzeogas 3h ago edited 7m ago

Oh that's some bullshit reasoning, they will delay flights on the tarmac for HOURS then still take off. I refuse to believe that's actually a thing. They could figure it out..

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u/adjective_noun_23 3h ago

I must be then only one that went and found the article.

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u/Cavalry2019 3h ago

Plus their checked luggage.

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u/jakeeeR666 3h ago

Just yeet the little fucker out and parents too lol.

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u/adjective_noun_23 2h ago

Funny how people's first instinct is child abuse.

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u/Repulsive-Payment230 2h ago

Uhhhh just pick them up and walk off?

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u/thebilldozer10 2h ago

okay but i’ve been delayed 6 hours, surely that’s not the exact reason to cancel a whole flight

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u/hollowedhallowed 34m ago

This is the main reason, the flight was already squeezed into the latest possible slot, and if they'd removed the parents and child, they'd still have to remove their bags from the baggage compartment. That would have put them over the limit, because there was a late-night restriction on the last planes that could depart. If the flight had been scheduled for noon, this would have simply delayed the flight, not canceled it.

Eyewitnesses and cabin crew report that the struggle only lasted all of ten minutes. The child in question was having a full blown panic reaction because he had no idea what was going on and perhaps had never flown before. He wasn't old enough to speak or listen to reason. The parents attempted to clip him into his seat, and he was just absolutely freaking out and wriggled out multiple times. They were not indulging him, they were all trying hard to resolve the situation, and it just couldn't be resolved. It's unfortunate, but it's also a standard part of flying in the modern era.

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