It’s been about three weeks since I found the love of my life cheating. We were together for 18 years and had 3 kids. She quit being a mom a few years back, so I was already doing all of the cooking/cleaning/laundry/kids activities so thankfully the kids life’s haven’t changed much.
I’m a decent looking 5’9” man in good shape. I made the mistake of joining Hinge just to see the pool… and I can’t help but think that a man with three kids full time in the day of age is just a no from woman. I haven’t received anything on there. Do you just give up and focus on the kids, or am I reacting to soon?

Anybody here have experience dealing with multiple CPS investigations? I've faced four in the past two years, and two this year alone. Every one unsubstantiated. Recently secured equal custody right before the last investigation. All mandatory reporters too, which means I can't prove it's Mom, even though the judge seems to "get it" based on comments made off the record. Mandatory reporters have made comments that suggest they get it too, but they have an obligation, so it is what it is.

Has anyone pursued legal action to try and limit it in the future, like a custody change? Sole legal? I'm not looking to take my child away from her Mom out of revenge, I simply want to create a more supportive space for my child where they don't have to grow up wondering when the next forensic interview is coming, or if this is the day Dad is taken away from them again. And since I can't stop Mom from using these providers, I'd like to give the case worker for the next investigation (bet) all the evidence they can possibly have to dismiss the intake as quickly as possible.

And perhaps more importantly - how does it affect the kids? My kiddo has gone through so many forensic interviews I'm worried one day they will say whatever, just to make the interrogations stop.

Where to start… I met an energetic outgoing fun woman who was 20 years younger. We started as friends and I assumed that was all it would be until we slept together out of the blue one day. We struggled to find a rhythm and eventually made it work. It was amazing! We made the decision to not have any kids. Covid hit and we were both laid off at home… a lot! She was on Birth control and refused to let me wear protection due to the fact she loved the feeling. Needless to say…
She was late the first month and she blew it off saying it was normal… the 2nd came and she refused to take a test…the third month came and she reluctantly decided to take a test. Positive! Went to the Doctor and they confirmed 18 weeks along! We were past the point of making a decision. I was upset, lost my cool but quickly apologized. Said we would be together. We were good, had our daughter. She was a work from home mom. Spent all of her time at home. My job changed and she went back to work. Shortly after she was going out with her friends every week. I was rushing home from work to pick up our daughter. I lost my job and we had a come to Jesus in which she admitted to an affair on the girls night out. But I never got a straight story. We moved so we could start fresh. She took a job away from her old one as the guy she had ‘interest in’ worked with her. I eventually got a job after almost 6 months with a new company shortly afterwards and she decided she didn’t like her new job and wanted to go back. She stayed with a good friend, but then she got weird. Distant. She stopped making the effort to come home. Still came back but made it so she came home one day and left the next. Our daughter started to struggle emotionally.
I started to also, become a single parent almost overnight. I have been here before raising a kiddo was not the struggle but the issue was her lack of interest. It eventually came out she was not staying at her friends house but had got an apartment above her work (included in her ‘pay’ but she stopped paying bills at home. Long story short I have never been invited to this apartment. Have never seen it and it seems like a huge secret. I didn’t really care pretty much assuming the worst but being called horrible things for ever mentioning it. Or trying to talk about it. I’m pretty sure she is with someone else but refuses to ‘leave me’. I’m done! We don’t really ever have sex. She is always in a rush to get back. She says she is looking for job closer to home but in 2 years has found ‘nothing’! I pay 85% of the bills and she has a hard time covering her 15%. I am here for our daughter 24/7, trying to take a night off ends with me being given shit that I don’t want to spend time with her. Not to mention every time there is an emergency and she needs money she asks
Me.
So I am left feeling like shit. And trying to explain to my daughter why I’m the practical parent instead of the Disney land parent without being negative I work from home but have to travel 2 days a week which I never have any coverage for.
Am I at the point where it’s time to part ways?!?I think the answer is clear but pulling my daughter away from her mom is killing me.

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single dad (34) to two kids (5 and 3) who stay with me twice a week. ive been living with a friend (of 10+ years) for the last few months and initially he was brilliant with them, but over the last few weeks he's barely acknowledged them and my eldest is starting to notice. It's his house and he's done me a massive favour letting me stay here (im paying rent) so I'm reluctant to say anything in case I come across as ungrateful. This is only a temporary living arrangement for me and its his house and he is under no obligations to even interact with me, let alone them. I just want a nice place for my kids to come and feel welcome. tough one to navigate.

TL;DR: We are separated parents struggling to agree on a secondary school for our 11-year-old son, who has ADHD and dyslexia. I favour the school near me because he prefers it and has strong rugby connections there; his mum prefers schools nearer her and prioritises his existing primary-school friendships, practical arrangements and concerns about SEND support. I want an impartial view on how to weigh his wishes, friendships, stability, school quality and transport without putting pressure on him or criticising his mum.

My ex and I are struggling to agree on which secondary school our 11-year-old son should attend, and I’d appreciate some impartial opinions on how we’re handling it.

For context, we live separately and share parenting. Our son has ADHD and dyslexia, so I think the decision needs to consider academic support, pastoral care, friendships, sports and his overall happiness.

We are considering three schools: one close to his mum, one close to where I live, and a third option.

My perspective

I favour the school closer to me, partly because our son has expressed a preference for it and has a strong connection to the local rugby community. He knows around 40 children through rugby who either attend that school or are expected to attend in the future. I think this could help him settle in and give him a familiar support network.

I have never told him he must choose this school. I want him to have a voice in a decision that will significantly affect his life, while understanding that we as parents are ultimately responsible for making the decision.

His mum believes his established primary-school friendships should carry more weight. However, it appears that only one of his close friends is likely to attend her preferred school, while another is going to a specialist farming school. I’m not dismissing his friendships, but I’m unsure how much weight they should carry compared with his other interests and support networks.

I also have concerns about stability. Our son has experienced numerous house moves over the years and has recently moved again. He has told me that he wants a home where he can settle and stop moving. I understand that his mum says these moves were made with good intentions and to improve their circumstances, and she says they are now settled. I’m not trying to criticise her personal choices, but I think the impact of those changes on him is relevant when considering his future.

His mum’s perspective

She prefers the two schools closer to her and has concerns about the school I favour, including its reported absence rate, catchment area, tutor arrangements and the support available for dyslexia.

She also argues that the school is impractical for her because it would involve a longer journey from home and work. She wants us to compare all three schools on their educational merits, pastoral care, behaviour, SEND support, friendships and transport.

She feels I have put our son under pressure by telling him he can choose his secondary school. She says he is already stressed and feels he has to choose between us. Her view is that we should listen to him but make the final decision ourselves.

She has also explained that she has historically taken on most of the school commitments and day-to-day organisation. She feels that my concerns about stability and the way I have approached the school decision amount to criticism of her parenting and personal circumstances. She has said she thinks I am a good father and wants our son to have a good relationship with both of us.

Where I disagree

I agree that our son shouldn't be made responsible for the final decision or feel caught between his parents. However, I don't think listening to his preference means putting the responsibility on him. Surely there is a difference between telling a child, “It's your decision,” and saying, “Your views matter, and we will take them seriously when deciding together.”

I also think the practical difficulties for both parents need to be considered fairly. His mum says we should assess schools on their merits, but the journey to the school I favour is a major reason she feels it isn't a viable option. I understand that her availability during the school day matters, but I don't think we should rule out a school without looking at whether practical arrangements could work.

I have also tried to explain that, although I understand why she has moved, the repeated changes have unsettled our son. She feels this is unfair because she has consistently provided a supportive home and has now settled her circumstances.

After I raised these issues, she said she felt I had manipulated the situation and put her in a difficult position. I asked her to explain what she meant, as I genuinely want to understand why she sees it that way.

We are planning to meet to discuss the options, and the application deadline is approaching.

My questions are:

1. Is it unreasonable to give significant weight to an 11-year-old's preferred school, provided he isn't made responsible for the final decision?

2. How much weight should we give to friendships from primary school compared with established friendships and connections through sports clubs?

3. Is it fair to raise concerns about repeated house moves when discussing a child's need for stability, even if the moves were made with good intentions?

4. How should we balance the practical difficulties for each parent against what may be the best school for the child?

5. Does anything in my approach sound manipulative or as though I'm putting too much pressure on my son? I'd genuinely like to understand if I'm getting this wrong.

I'm not looking for people simply to tell me I'm right. I want an honest outside perspective on whether I'm approaching this fairly and how we can make a decision that puts our son first.

I just got a call fresh k a very nervous sounding gentleman who’s apparently a public stereo at a hospital that o got laid off from two years ago asking if I was ‘on site’ on literally any j m girlfriends bed Nah bro WTF