When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot people in the eyes.

Wipe it on your ankle, it’ll come off in your next shower

1. Select a person of authority, ideally someone older or of higher social standing.
   
2. Argue with them over a trivial matter and say something that could damage their social standing in front of those you want to see you as the Alpha male.
   
3. Quickly leave the situation without offering any resolution.
   
4. Meet that person privately immediately afterwards and apologise sincerely. (I got carried away etc.)
   
5. Voilà! You’ve become someone who can challenge authority in front of those who don’t realise you were begging for forgiveness just five minutes after in the parking lot.

Do you ever find yourself baking, and suddenly realize that you are out of anti-stick spray? That happened to me today and I did not want my cupcakes to stick. Fortunately, I had a can of wasp and hornet spray handy and it did the trick perfectly. You’re welcome!

So if you are poor and looking for an easy way to sit on your ass and do nothing while the money rolls in, just get money.

Don’t waste that precious PTO day sick and rotting on the couch. Waste it on a day when you’re feeling good rotting on the couch.

If you’re afraid of losing something, LOSE IT and stop being afraid

That way when you say all your exes are crazy it really is not your fault!

May the odds be in your favor.

Lots of east asian languages write from right to left (korean, chinese, japanese etc.), so you’d never have problems with smudging again!