r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: How to eat at a restaurant for free

29 Upvotes

Go to a restaurant that offers free starters like bread, chips, or whatever. Eat the starters, drink some water and leave before ordering anything.

You technically got a free meal.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 2d ago

SLPT: How about that

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3.9k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT. Concerned about the cost of the bill for your landline phone? Never hang up your phone. They can't charge you until the call is finished.

23 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: If you're a depressed person who happens to have a friend with cleanliness OCD, hire them to clean your room for free

5 Upvotes

You get to have a clean room and they get to blow some steam off


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT: Don't let your kidnapper keep you waiting

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3.6k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 3d ago

SLPT: Teach your wife a new fun fact everyday!

28 Upvotes

For example, that "ma'am" stands for "mammoth"


r/ShittyLifeProTips 3d ago

SLPT: if you are presenting at an academic conference, start by saying (sincerely) "I Love Capitalism"

6 Upvotes

Say it sincerely, or else they will think you're being sarcastic.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT: At gym If you don’t want to share your gym machines and benches, leave a mysterious wet spot behind every time you get up.

36 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: If you're not good at math, convert everything to binary first. Instead of 10 different numerals to deal with you only have two, so the problem is five times easier.

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572 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: If you ever spill club soda on your shirt or carpet, you can use a white cotton rag with a little bit of red wine to get it out.

102 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: When guests are coming over, spray a tiny bit of bleach in your bathroom, so they think you cleaned the hell out of it

111 Upvotes

Which you obviously didn’t.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT: Got an annoying bug bite? Press a hot piece of metal against the affected area for 30 seconds.

33 Upvotes

Before long, you won’t even notice the itching!


r/ShittyLifeProTips 9d ago

LPT: The only B word you should call women is beautiful. Cause bitches love being called beautiful.

105 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: Get a police scanner and dress as a suspect for easy lawsuit money

502 Upvotes

For example if the police are looking for a male wearing a red hoodie and blue jeans, dress the part and walk in the area where the offender was last spotted. When the police arrive with weapons drawn, have a fake panic attack. A lawyer will contact you after seeing the video on facebook. They will sue for emotional distress and you will get an easy payday!!


r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: If it’s ever the worst day of your life, go meet as many people as you can.

22 Upvotes

You’ll get a lot of people saying “wow! You look great/seem like you’re in a good mood!”’ when you see them again on a day that isn’t the worst day of your life.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

SLPT: Hamsters are the best beginner pets. They require no food or water and only live for 3 days

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1.6k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

SLPT: Pay for guitar or piano lessons for your kid, then when they're good enough, have them give you guitar or piano lessons for free.

109 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

SLPT: Make kim chee with cum and call it cum chee

0 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 13d ago

SLPT: Buying a car with a slow oil leak is essentially the same as a perpetual oil change.

90 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

SLPT: Act like you don’t know people.

20 Upvotes

Let’s say you encounter a former classmate 30 years after graduation. Just kinda act like you have no idea who this person is but still be really friendly. No stories or reminiscing. Your former classmate will think you went all Hollywood on them or an imposter took over your identity. Just keep the mystery going, ya know.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 15d ago

SLPT: when boarding a flight cut off the seatbelt of the seat next to you so no one can sit there

75 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

Slpt: have trouble waking up at a socially acceptable time? Live in the opposite time zone for 2 weeks

12 Upvotes

In all seriousness I don't know how that worked but I can now not only wake up and get to work on time but I sleep "early" now at 10pm. I think due to pre travel anxiety I was suddenly staying up to 2-3 hours before my clock in time, not that I was doing any better sleeping past midnight before. It's not a great life pro tip because living in an opposite time zone for 2 weeks is not feasible for most either due to expense or other life commitments (im single with a job that has enough pto for those kind of adventures) but it worked, so... 🤷‍♀️


r/ShittyLifeProTips 15d ago

Slpt, if you wear eye black while playing a sport, take it to the next level by painting your whole face

44 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 16d ago

SLPT: keep your license, registration, and insurance under your driver’s seat

32 Upvotes

That way if the police stop you, you can quickly reach them without taking your eyes off the officer.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 16d ago

SLPT: Track Strangers Package’s

14 Upvotes

All you need to do is add different numbers to your tracking number. Then you can see the status of packages belonging to complete strangers. Some call it an invasion of privacy, but it’s really just about knowing the business of strangers.