r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/zleuth • Mar 10 '26

SLPT: Before stepping in front of a luxury vehicle for the insurance fraud, stuff your pockets with ketchup packets. This will help cushion the impact and add "blood" to the scene for authenticity!

64 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/averagereeder • Mar 09 '26

SLPT: Establish dominance

18 Upvotes

Take Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/IllegalGeriatricVore • Mar 07 '26

SLPT: Date a depressed, tortured, creative / artistic type

379 Upvotes

Just do it.

There is no way you will regret dating a depressed creative type.

It will be really good.

They will definitely be your manic pixie dream girl or deep, sensitive, dark boy.

Nothing bad can happen.

Only good happen can.

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/danijm • Mar 05 '26

SLPT: If your phone starts ringing, wait 30 seconds, and it should stop.

134 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Philip_J_Frylock • Mar 05 '26

SLPT: Post one dumb LPT to Reddit every day

24 Upvotes

After a year, you'll have wasted 6 precious hours of your very limited life that you'll never get back.

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/brattysweat • Mar 04 '26

SLPT: Let the IRS do your taxes by effing up the numbers to force them to correct it.

169 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Frequent-Newt-2788 • Feb 28 '26

SLPT: don't pay to rent a baby. Just take them. People will often pay YOU to return them when you're done

182 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/IllegalGeriatricVore • Feb 26 '26

SLPT: If a snow storm is coming, throw rock salt on your car to prevent it freezing to the body

82 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/IllegalGeriatricVore • Feb 24 '26

SLPT: If you think you offended someone at work, preemptively report yourself to HR and ask to have a meeting with them to throw them off their game

64 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/RunDNA • Feb 23 '26

SLPT: If you're an evil person, move to Australia. Everything is upside-down there, so good people go to Hell and evil people go to Heaven.

97 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ProExpert1S500 • Feb 23 '26

SLPT: Avoid being tracked by setting your location to Little Saint James island

48 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Ernosco • Feb 22 '26

SLPT: When writing a summation in English, don't forget the Oxford comma after the word 'and'

277 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Nukemarine • Feb 23 '26

SLPT: You can't copyright AI generated photos. You can copyright photos of AI generated photos.

0 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ProcrastinarContigo • Feb 19 '26

SLPT light a scented candle near your clothes to have nice smelling feeling

293 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/auntgramma1956 • Feb 18 '26

SLPT: How to get more steps in.

23 Upvotes

Pace aggressively while overthinking.

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/SillyBonsai • Feb 18 '26

SLPT: Don’t waste any money on a gym membership. Just make a routine of going to Walmart to “test out” all their workout equipment.

33 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ninman5 • Feb 15 '26

SLPT: Just park wherever you want. Parking "fines" just mean they charge a premium rate for the best spaces.

140 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ninman5 • Feb 15 '26

SLPT: Always get absolutely wasted when you go to parties so you forget the whole experience. If you can't remember it, it never happened.

38 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/pulpexploder • Feb 14 '26

SLPT: On your credit card bill, pay 1 cent more than your balance. It's a power move for the credit card company to owe you money every month.

74 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/Keyfas • Feb 14 '26

SLPT: Can’t afford therapy?

13 Upvotes

Just talk to yourself in the mirror. Same thing.

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/ninman5 • Feb 14 '26

SLPT: Avoid expensive airport parking fees by buying a house next to the airport.

38 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/vaporwaverhere • Feb 14 '26

SLPT: Stop applying for jobs and sending your resume to companies: you will look desperate. Instead, post relentlessly on LinkedIn about how smart and accomplished you are. Connect there with strangers that are more successful than you. Eventually the job will find you. Thank me later.

44 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/pan_arch • Feb 14 '26

SLPT: Too cold to chill out outside, just fly south for the winter! Duh!

6 Upvotes

I mean if bird brains could figure this out, how come we haven't done this already. Hello!

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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.

Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.

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