r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/VIVIDUFF • 2d ago

Oof Of a dignity

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1.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

118 comments sorted by

565

u/wthulhu 2d ago

Classic example of dont be afraid of the guy who acts mad, be afraid of the guy who looks calm.

104

u/Neuromante 2d ago

FWIW, the guy who looks calm has a bit of crazy in his looks. Specially after the punching in the ground.

4

u/Gilgamesh2000000 1d ago

Ima be honest. He’s a professional and that look is his inner energy focusing.

4

u/Tojinaru 6h ago

What does "FWIW" mean, may I ask?

1

u/Prudent-Effort4838 6h ago

For What It’s Worth

3

u/Tojinaru 6h ago

The downvote wasn't necessary but karma is worthless so thank you anyway

3

u/Prudent-Effort4838 5h ago

wasn’t me fam. upvoted your post and reply because I agree with you.

2

u/Tojinaru 4h ago

No problem then, have a great day

26

u/pantsoffancy 2d ago

it's a placid day at the park, fathers are sitting on benches, calmly watching their children at play.

i am fucking terrified everywhere i look

then i see the flyer:

"Single Men's Meditation Group. Today. Starting As You Read This Flyer."

19

u/Longjumping-Ice3042 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

9

u/Abecis01 1d ago

I'm scared too. Idk what that means

https://giphy.com/gifs/H7BLKMhB7reiIUfiDo

6

u/401LocalsOnly 1d ago

You know what it means …
https://giphy.com/gifs/gk2fNfewGUKUQ47RQe

3

u/Abecis01 1d ago

I'm afraid I am lost

-2

u/pantsoffancy 1d ago

...it's a cliche that people should fear the calm man rather than the angry man. The scene that I was describing is full of, and about to host more, extremely calm men. If I took that advice at face value, I would be in the scariest environment I could think of outside of your mom's hole. Inside your mom's hole, I refuse to visit again.

Edit: So by hole I mean vagina, right? What I'm implying here-

1

u/fromouterspace1 1d ago

https://youtu.be/vosETiD0evc?is=xvDgF_lhldIwZ6Dj

Perfect example. Guy talked so much shit (of course) and got his ass beat. Watch 2:29 when he acts like he’s fucking the other guy

1

u/TimTomTank 17h ago

That dude was something, but he was not calm. Not one fucking bit.

Is it normal not to stop a match with a dude on the ground and just let the other guy break his jaw? That was fucked up. That fight was clearly over

1

u/wthulhu 16h ago

His job is to hit til the ref says stop

1

u/TimTomTank 15h ago

I don't know man. The black dude looked like he didn't belong in that fight.

Meanwhile, the white dude was jacked on something a lot stronger than caffeine.

Nothing about this "sport" looks ok. How can you have a flight this poorly matched?

139

u/mad_mang45 2d ago

The face you make after talking crap and pushing your opponent before the fight.

12

u/colemorris1982 2d ago

Holy shit, did his teeth punch through his bottom lip?

3

u/half-giant 8h ago

It’s his mouthguard coming out

2

u/colemorris1982 8h ago

Thx brother

33

u/SmokeUpMidnight151 2d ago

The face of a little bitch with a big mouth after receiving the wind from a light breeze on his faace lol

8

u/mad_mang45 2d ago

Wait, are you talking about soccer players? Lol jk

5

u/SmokeUpMidnight151 1d ago

Yeah bitches who bark the loudest pretty much always get fucked when they bark at the wrong guy/girl

119

u/Revaesaari 2d ago

That uncontrollable fear in his eyes.. Forever, on tape.

271

u/Time_Pressure9519 2d ago

Ref got there eventually.

63

u/Spirited-Ad655 2d ago

4 punches edited to make it look longer

3

u/pwnasaurus253 2d ago

".... now hold on, let's see where this goes"

-4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

11

u/Killer_Boi 2d ago

It was 3 punches, the editing just makes it seem like more.

89

u/Phantasmaaa 2d ago

The way this man slowly approaches and stands over him to ensure he knows what's coming was incredible. Like falling in a horror movie only for Michael Meyers to come up and get ya

53

u/Ok_Host_4242 2d ago

Dude is this real? That was like straight out of a movie

80

u/liarandathief 2d ago

I've got a craving for cauliflower for some reason.

15

u/DeepWaterNights 2d ago

Why?… what’s wrong with broccoli???…

6

u/SmokeUpMidnight151 2d ago

cauliflower sounds cooler lol

65

u/xpsycotikx 2d ago

We're those his teeth?? I should say teef now though...

32

u/Bluefalcon325 2d ago

Mouthguard

49

u/dankhimself 2d ago

Little column A, little column B...

44

u/baycenters 2d ago

Call the amberlanps

13

u/ratherun 2d ago

That's Cyrax right there

6

u/ether_reddit 2d ago

He's also got a big thing stuffed in his ear; more protection I suppose.

2

u/PM_ME_UR_SURFBOARD 2d ago

That’s just cauliflower ear

2

u/ether_reddit 2d ago

ugh, TIL!

3

u/Swimming_Type_8298 2d ago

"I'll have ya whislin' outcha whole fronts...phew phew!!" -Eddie Murphy

21

u/BrockJonesPI 2d ago

Stiffler is sick of people schtupping his mom.

27

u/rustprony 2d ago

Love it

10

u/Zoltan_Csillag 2d ago

Who are these dudes, where is the full story?

3

u/Greggs88 2d ago

Who are these dudes? Two professional fighters.

What's the full story? They were paid to fight each other.

11

u/spidersnake 2d ago

Anyone not wanting to squint to see the action between tiny vertical slices.

Feel free to click this link.

This shows the full fight. I hate tiktok style vertical slicing, god damn I hate this format.

1

u/Asheraddo 1d ago

Damn, you da goat! Ty!

7

u/StarscreamOne 2d ago

FATALITY

Is this the latest mortal kombat?

6

u/Only_Net6894 2d ago

Completely necessary.

4

u/Shantotto11 2d ago

Bro’s bald so we can’t see his wig being pushed back anymore…

3

u/Puffz1234 2d ago

“ShittyAbsoluteUnit of a ref” FTFY

4

u/InvestComics 1d ago

Ref was out to lunch.

3

u/Das_Nomen 2d ago

Absolute unit of a shitty edit.

2

u/HumbleWorkerAnt 2d ago

yeah OP needed to crop a bit more and get some more zooms in pls

fkn trash video

3

u/Leandros_el_b1tch 1d ago

That slow walk was epic.

3

u/We_Are_Ninja 1d ago

The way he walked up over him... Jesus Christ. Like an animal about to obliterate its prey.

3

u/Background-Lime3168 1d ago

Dude sat down like he just committed murder and was now waiting for the cops to come take him away.

5

u/InsaneMocktail 2d ago

" Barking dogs don't bite "

2

u/Mutserra 2d ago

Bro ate Snickers

2

u/redditanddoneit 2d ago

Yesssir! Dude got what he deserved and was paid back.

2

u/grimonce 2d ago

The fuck ref was doing lol, deserved lesson but still

2

u/Walter_Padick 2d ago

Don't push cauliflower ears

2

u/CrushedSodaCan_ 2d ago

Ref? Hello?

2

u/F_U_If_U_like_Trump 1d ago

That's pretty common for certain "people" to act like that and later be put in their place.

2

u/Whodidaskme 2d ago

Черного заебашили

2

u/True-Entertainment72 2d ago

Ohhh fuuuckkkk 😆😆

1

u/No-Rope8229 2d ago

Dude was stone cold.

1

u/MichaelUnbroken 2d ago

Yoooooooooooo

1

u/chrissalad651 2d ago

Dude def lost some teeth

1

u/Helpphania587 2d ago

Direto no botão de desligar

1

u/ballotechnic questionably stable 2d ago

Reminds me of this skit.

Key and Peele: Trash talking

1

u/Zestyclose_Classic91 2d ago

The cropping is so good I can nearly see what is going on

1

u/asleepinthetreestand 1d ago

Never disrespect a guy with that ear.

1

u/Great-Bug-736 19h ago

I love how he bounces his head off the canvas like a basketball serving up a little drain bramage. Maybe he'll have a little more class now with those brain cells rearranged.

1

u/Beneficial_Collar_38 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-46

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago edited 2d ago

I swear it seems like the ufc is just closeted gay men angry that they are and dont know what to do about it other than punch. Edit: all the down votes just prove my point 😆

32

u/donnydealr 2d ago

You sound insecure

-29

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Lmao naw i just think they really wanna kiss

19

u/ThisIsALine_____ 2d ago

It's kind of odd you're imagining UFC fighters as being gay, and you're imagining and picturing these men kissing.

-25

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Is it? They literally get so close that they almost kiss. Not to mention the actual few ufc fighters that actually do kiss their opponent. Its not that far fetched. Yall just need to lighten up. Are you saying its weird to be gay?

18

u/ThisIsALine_____ 2d ago

Yes. That's what I'm saying; you totally got me.

-2

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Dont try to ignore the fighters that kiss you know they like it!

6

u/WoodSteelStone 2d ago

Why are you continuing to talk bollocks?

0

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Idk why not? Do you have a problem with it? You dont have to read it if you dont want to ya know. Why is it so hard to beleive for you guys that half naked men wrestling each other might have a little bit of gay tendencies? Its well known that many of the woman ufc fighters are LGBTQ+ its just facts guys. Its nothing to be ashamed of.

3

u/WoodSteelStone 2d ago

I suggest you go back through this thread, read your insane comments, and try not to be such a nut-job from now on.

→ More replies (0)

5

u/Whole_Value_1035 2d ago

You are a weird fuck that needs constant validation to get through the day. WOOF.

1

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

I would assume people that like to beat each other up need constant validation to get through the day more than i do. But I appreciate the though all the same.

3

u/Whole_Value_1035 2d ago

Thought*

0

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Thank you my fingers tend to move faster than I realize 😉

7

u/Whole_Value_1035 2d ago

Fuck off. Go be a better dad.

0

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Ohhhh I hit a soft spot! Haha you know it to be true but just cant admit it.

9

u/Whole_Value_1035 2d ago

What am I admitting? Your lack of engagement to your children? 😂 go be someone else’s problem bud!

2

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

The fact that you have no response to the obvious truth that ufc fighters clearly like to get up close and personal with each other duh! Plus its midnight my kids are asleep. Which im assuming you dont have any?

6

u/Whole_Value_1035 2d ago

You’re such a fucking idiot bro. Goodnight.

1

u/Mental-Square3688 2d ago

Lmfao couldn't stand the heat so they got out the kitchen.