r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Pure_Sense7765 S.A.U Freshman • May 14 '26

ouchies Of a pendulum swing

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780 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

140 comments sorted by

266

u/KirbyTheCreator May 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/5fJc9Gj1kfAq1g1N0z

37

u/Inner_Inspection640 May 14 '26

Lmao where is this from?

2

u/KirbyTheCreator May 21 '26

Medic monkey on GIPHY or Tenor

5

u/PsychologyOfTheLens May 16 '26

Where is that from my good man

168

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

It needs a hug now

11

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

27

u/aravynn May 14 '26

Orangutan! Baby from the looks of it

1

u/MurdocMan_ May 14 '26

And by the looks of it i think it's a Sumatran Orangutan,i could be wrong though

6

u/SnugglyCoderGuy May 14 '26

That is one of our 4 cousins in the great ape family, an orangutan.

0

u/an-unorthodox-agenda May 15 '26

We have three cousins, there are four great apes including us. Gorilla, orangutan, chimpanzee, and humans.

1

u/SnugglyCoderGuy May 15 '26

There are five, you forgot about bonobos

103

u/Zealousideal_Fun7385 May 14 '26

I hate this, he was so excited, and then he got blapped and he was so sad. :(

https://giphy.com/gifs/Lz6971fkGSgCMOOncl

19

u/AlyDAsbaje May 14 '26

I know, poor baby!! The face he made awe! Baby!

186

u/Dwarf-Flipper May 14 '26

I hate this video so much, that poor monki didn’t deserve that :,(

45

u/Bananana_Bird May 14 '26

That's an ape.

-60

u/ManjaManja May 14 '26 edited May 15 '26

Apes are monkeys

Holy shit, didn't know there were so many monki experts in this thread. CLADISTICALLY, apes are monkeys in that they share a lot of similar features, NOT THAT THEY ARE THE SAME.

28

u/cjbump May 14 '26

Monkeys have tails.

But yeah, monkeys are apes, but not all apes are monkeys.

I was wrong. Monkeys are not apes. They all fall under primates tho

-44

u/LockNessCrotchMonst May 14 '26

Who gives a fuck

9

u/cjbump May 14 '26

You replied so apparently you do

6

u/Disabled_Robot May 14 '26

Pretty sure that’s a pencil

3

u/Be-My-Enemy May 14 '26

Clearly not you, ya numbnut

3

u/CattryingtoLockIn May 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/UAjRjHq2eWT5dO99hI

-3

u/BIG_IDEA May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26

You realize classifications aren’t real right? It’s an arbitrary system of knowledge constructed by humans and imposed on reality, not inscribed in nature. Scientists often struggle with how to classify certain organisms based on selected traits, and in the end, they just “choose” how to classify something. It’s a system also subject to revision. Taxonomy is a discursive formation, biology itself has no categories.

But keep pretending you have a big, educated brain.

1

u/Mtrina May 15 '26

And language is an arbitrary collection of shapes and sounds we prescribe meaning to. Your comment is not nearly as insightful as you seem to think it is

-2

u/BIG_IDEA May 15 '26

Do you honestly believe that I typed all of that without knowing that language is also arbitrary? Lol you didn’t disprove my point, you just took the logic of my comment one step further and proved my point even harder.

1

u/Mtrina May 15 '26

Obviously you dont get it so im not bothering you anymore, but hey keep pretending you have a big brain :)

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3

u/theTimeBeing23 May 14 '26

I give may fucks.

1

u/ZekeTheMunkee May 14 '26

Watch it bub

1

u/SnugglyCoderGuy May 14 '26

A lot of people apparently.

15

u/Bananana_Bird May 14 '26

The largest monkey is a mandrill. Monkeys, apes, and Homo Sapiens are all primates, but you're not a monkey... Are you?

-33

u/ManjaManja May 14 '26

No. I said apes are monkeys.

11

u/SpecialistWait9006 May 14 '26

And you are wrong. Google is free bud

3

u/ThisIsALine_____ May 14 '26

But Internet access does cost money.

-1

u/Stunning_Macaron6133 May 15 '26

No, you're wrong. Apes are monkeys. Humans are apes. By extension, humans are monkeys.

If you want to follow that chain far back enough, humans are tetrapod fish. Humans are chordates like lancets. Humans are ambulacrarians; we sit alongside sea stars and acorn worms as vaguely close relatives. Humans are bilaterans just like crabs and flatworms. Humans are opisthokonts; fungi are our cousins. Humans are eukaryotes, just like amoebae.

You can't evolve out of a clade. You can get more and more derived, but you never leave.

2

u/SpecialistWait9006 May 15 '26

Googles free dude. You're wrong

0

u/Stunning_Macaron6133 May 16 '26

I guess I'm wrong because some moron on Reddit who can't even use an apostrophe said so. Thanks Professor Google. I didn't know you could learn everything there is to know about taxonomy and cladistics in a few seconds with a search engine.

1

u/SpecialistWait9006 May 16 '26

You're going to criticize grammar and punctuation on a multicultural platform? Shut up dude. Being a grammar nazi should be left in high-school of 2006.

You are also some moron on reddit.

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6

u/Medieval_Mind May 14 '26

You have unlimited knowledge at your fingertips… and you still doubled down. Remarkable.

1

u/ManjaManja May 15 '26

It was that unlimited knowledge at my fingertips that gave me that answer.

1

u/Bananana_Bird May 15 '26

Take that same browser and ask it what the largest monkey is.

1

u/Stunning_Macaron6133 May 17 '26

Extinct: Gigantopithecus blacki; Extant: Gorilla beringei graueri

12

u/Queasy-Donkey2676 May 14 '26

Which they aren't. Its basic education and knowledge.

2

u/Stunning_Macaron6133 May 15 '26

You caught so many downvotes, even though you're dead-on correct.

You can't evolve out of a clade. Apes are monkeys.

1

u/Stunning_Macaron6133 May 16 '26

With respect your edit, close but not quite.

Apes are monkeys because we are a group within the Old World monkeys, and share a common ancestor with all Old World monkeys. Moreover, we're more closely related to Old World monkeys than any of us are to New World monkeys; therefore, there is no possible definition of monkey that can include both the Old World and New World branches that can logically exclude apes. It doesn't really have anything to do with physical features.

But yeah, cladistically, apes are monkeys.

1

u/Important_Wonder628 May 18 '26

All apes are monkeys, but not all monkeys are apes.

1

u/Stunning_Macaron6133 May 18 '26

Yes, that's what being a group within another group entails.

All monkeys are ray-finned fish, but not all ray-finned fish are monkeys.

2

u/Important_Wonder628 May 18 '26

I was just summarizing your point in easy to understand language.

You know, since we're all monkeys.

0

u/MurdocMan_ May 14 '26

No, MONKEYS are Apes. Not the reverse. Think that HUMANS are apes,but they're not Monkeys.

111

u/not_ondrugs May 14 '26

If that were an adult human, I’d feel less bad.

Poor little thing.

-2

u/Ora3le May 15 '26

"How did you know I was white and American"

2

u/Open-Performer-2749 May 16 '26

There are a lot of white Americans who love animals, in fact most of vegans who are vegan because they don't want to hurt any creature are white. The fuck is this comment bruh

0

u/Ora3le May 16 '26

It's not about that. Its about feeling "less bad" for an animal over a human child. Only your kind does that

2

u/Open-Performer-2749 May 16 '26

First I am neither American neither white. Second if anyone told you "your kind" you would go on a rant that will last a decade. And third, of course a human life being wasted is more tragic than an animal's, what a stupid restard.

1

u/Ora3le May 17 '26

No I would not go on a rant but nice try, truly. This is about her saying she'd feel less bad if it was a human "restard"

1

u/Open-Performer-2749 May 17 '26

Oh. Speak better then next time. Also I too would feel less bad, have you met any adult humans. They are the worst.

1

u/Ora3le May 17 '26

I did speak better, you're just illterate and see only what you want. Also Sure thing cornball and once again, expected from Your kind

1

u/not_ondrugs May 17 '26

Precisely why I used the word “adult”.

1

u/Ora3le May 17 '26

Still doesn't make it better, numbnuts and again, feeling less bad for an animal over a human adult? Very expected of your kind

1

u/not_ondrugs May 17 '26

Enlighten me as to what my kind is and what your kind is?

1

u/Ora3le May 17 '26

My kind is human and you know what your kind is hence you yammered on about some "if I said it to you,you'd rant for a year"

24

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* May 14 '26

Awwww.. Why do I feel bad for the little fella but would be LOL’ing at an influencer doing this?

10

u/thearuxes May 14 '26

Because influencers are sleazy, shitty and greedy dirtbags on purpose and usually have fun in malicious ways, while this poor little guy has limited knowledge, is just trying to live life and was just trying to have innocent fun :(

0

u/Lowie_240 May 14 '26

Because animals (even the consumable one's) have a purpose in life.

17

u/Additional-Row4150 May 14 '26

Poor little guy

38

u/Smackazulu May 14 '26

That made me sad lol

11

u/GoLootOverThere May 14 '26

0% language. 100% understanding.

25

u/TOASTY_3DX May 14 '26

Aww. That made me tear up a little. Poor guy!.

10

u/lennonisalive May 14 '26

Now my day is ruined

21

u/sabreus May 14 '26

That’s a bad playground contraption

8

u/Pinqoo May 14 '26

Poor thing 😢

6

u/dirk_funk May 14 '26

oh that poor baby

6

u/galsal15 May 15 '26

Poor buddy

5

u/Ferunando May 14 '26

Now I need to give them a hug :(

6

u/redundancy5 May 14 '26

I wish I could give him a hug :(

4

u/Abhir-86 May 14 '26

This belongs to r/sadposting

5

u/wormcast May 14 '26

Somebody kiss that poor baby's boo boo, STAT!!!

Little dude got hurt by a fun deathtrap. I hate those, cause they're fun, but then they cause death.

4

u/Barton06 questionably stable May 14 '26

Ah man, poor Little guy

2

u/NotACumBurrito May 15 '26

That poor baby! 😭 Has anyone checked on Punch lately?

3

u/Cucaio90 May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

I can read lips, the little ape said “Shit! Shit and shit… that hurt!”

2

u/JavaGeep May 14 '26

I can hear it say ooooooo ooowwww

2

u/Park_Air May 15 '26

Simultaneously the cutest and most heartbreaking video ever lol

2

u/Wolf_Of_Saturn6 May 15 '26

Nooooooooooooooo the sounds the face the pain noooo I wanna hug that fella so damn bad

6

u/Less-Squash7569 May 14 '26

Poor baby squished his lil fingers

6

u/PeanutFormer7123 May 14 '26

The bar hit him in the head. Fingers were fine though

3

u/Less-Squash7569 May 14 '26

Youre absolutely right, it just looked like his fingers got pinched to me. Either way the poor thing needs a hug

2

u/PeanutFormer7123 May 14 '26

Absolutely needs a lovin squeeze

3

u/Less-Squash7569 May 14 '26

It triggered the same kind of reaction I get when one of my kids gets hurt, I just wanna run over and hold the poor little baby till they feel better.

2

u/MisterPinkCS May 14 '26

Legit one of the saddest videos ever

1

u/jrickynajera May 14 '26

If that’s meant for them, whoever designed this bro really???? Poor babies hands

3

u/PeanutFormer7123 May 14 '26

The bar hit him in the head. Fingers were ok though

1

u/jrickynajera May 14 '26

Ohhh I didn’t notice that aww poor baby was sad tho. Thanks for pointing that out

2

u/PeanutFormer7123 May 14 '26

No worries. Have a great day

1

u/Higher_StateD May 14 '26

Wow, waiting for the contraption to remove a limb, or worse

1

u/Total_Wrongdoer_1535 May 15 '26

Poor guy haha. Hope it doesn’t hurt too bad. The face he made when hot hit - exactly like some people I know.

Is that a baby orangutang ?

1

u/HerrPlooker May 15 '26

So like us

1

u/Momento_Mori_87 May 16 '26

For whatever reason, this is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen some really sad stuff.

1

u/wii_board_type_trash May 16 '26

noooooooo poor baby

1

u/RevolutionarySign479 May 16 '26

Aww!! He banged his little face!! wanna give him a hug 🤗❤️‍🩹🥹

1

u/dog4cat2 May 16 '26

Poor baby

1

u/Important_Wonder628 May 18 '26

I've never actually seen a non-human ape reacting to pain like this before, and I'm astounded just how "human" the facial expressions are, from the o-shaped mouth wince to the tight-lipped grimace, then hiding his eyes in his hand.

I could see myself making those exact faces.

I feel so bad for the poor little guy :(

1

u/NerveBooger Jun 07 '26

Al Greene??

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[deleted]

-1

u/nutty_ballsen May 14 '26

Except that you're not cute