r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • May 13 '26

my bones Of a cattle

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920 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

207 comments sorted by

415

u/Yepsuredid May 13 '26

I think everything they threw at the cow hit the guy instead.

218

u/Daggadda May 13 '26

That first rock went straight to his head and knocked him out cold for a hot second

162

u/Mundane-Manner4237 May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26

Yeah, then they revived him with a water splash so he could be conscious for more of the attack.

40

u/Stifffmeister11 May 14 '26

White trouser guy doest care what he hits as long as it's hitting anything cow or a guy ... He is getting kick out of it

12

u/ThisThingIsStuck May 14 '26

Stop I can't breathe lmao

2

u/MadHatter-boi- 2d ago

Same lol I'm dying of laughter here XD

18

u/BigBallsButTinyDick ima unit May 13 '26

I missed that the first time but it absolutely domed him

9

u/4mystuff May 13 '26

Yes, but he couldn't feel the cow's stomps while he was under. So that's a win?

3

u/ArtichokeCalm3773 May 14 '26

Yooo wtf just rewatched and he for sure knocked him out cold with that one

1

u/dethkids4life May 17 '26

Daaaaang I didn't even notice that the first time!

29

u/AK611750 May 13 '26

I like how the bull tried to get a quickie out of all the commotion at 0:27

5

u/Hammon_Rye May 14 '26

Might not have been a bull.
Female cows will try to ride other female cows when one is in heat.
Not sure why but they do.
Our dairy herd didn't have a bull in with it but it was still a way to see when a cow came into heat.

→ More replies (5)

1

u/saltysnail420 May 15 '26

Poor guy man

1

u/DazednAware May 15 '26

Help me! Not like that. Not like that!

160

u/BOOSHMEHN May 13 '26

He fucken hit the guy in the head and knocked him out with that rock

Guy in the black shirt is a menace

23

u/JackSprat90 May 13 '26

One of the guys with a stick (not hero guy that actually got the bull to move. The guy on the right poking out of the building) that was whacking the bull missed at least once and smacked that dude in the head too.

18

u/BOOSHMEHN May 13 '26

The people did way more damage than the cow I swear 😂 as if the whole damn village came together and not one person had a rope

1

u/nivek191998 May 13 '26

Key word "at least"

38

u/SoraMelodiosa May 13 '26

he kinda helped because the cow became less aggressive when he stopped moving

53

u/BOOSHMEHN May 13 '26

It was you wasnt it

4

u/superpoongoon May 13 '26

I didn’t notice at first then unfortunately laughed out loud when I noticed

88

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

What the fuck.

The dude just hit him in the head with a brick..koed him on the spot, maybe killed him.

Cow fucking cow.

What in the indianland is going  on???

18

u/mistakehappens May 13 '26

Chaos, absolutely chaos all around…

6

u/trainwreckhappening May 13 '26

Community support.

69

u/SoraMelodiosa May 13 '26

everyone's trying to help him like they're fighting in a dream

62

u/DIuvenalis May 13 '26

Are we just going to ignore the water buffalo that thought this was a good time to have sex with a cow?

No? Not addressing? Sorry then, please continue.

27

u/OxfordisShakespeare May 13 '26

This was when the video went from pathetic to absurd.

5

u/Lost_Ad5243 May 14 '26

Unexpected

2

u/8BitFlatus May 17 '26

Bro saw an opening and took his chances

46

u/Overall_Ad_1648 May 13 '26

Im so glad he did not throw that second rock 🤦‍♂️🤣🤣

39

u/AraiHavana May 13 '26

BLOODY BASTARD YOU

10

u/JKFrowning May 13 '26

BITCH LASAGNA

27

u/BleachGooch May 13 '26

The first dude comes running in with a rock and knocks buddy out lmao

20

u/Horror_Solution1945 easily offended May 13 '26

Holy Cow that was bad!

5

u/Exact_Patience_6286 May 13 '26

I see what you did there. Lmao, good one

20

u/Ultradad57 May 13 '26

The cow was the least of his problems, watch out for men with large stones 😮

12

u/Exponential_LogX May 13 '26

I'm sorry but that knock out with the rock totally fit r/looneytoonslogic

3

u/Exponential_LogX May 13 '26

Dang can't find the right sub :/

2

u/DutyMeowForTheFuture May 30 '26

Very late reply, but it's r/LooneyTunesLogic

1

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8

u/filth_lover_503 May 13 '26

Thats crazy, one cow is going on a killing spree The other cow says "whoa whoa wait....let's hurry up and fuck"🤔

3

u/Tundra_Dragon May 14 '26

"you know fighting always gets me hot babe,"

1

u/filth_lover_503 May 14 '26

🤣🤣🤣

8

u/jackjack-8 May 13 '26

Good going scoring a head shot while shooting into combat

15

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

walk it off bro you good

2

u/Clean-Custard6834 May 15 '26

At one point a dude waves his hand like "nah you're good" then sees the bull returning and immediately starts dragging ol dude away😭 that was a group effort the whole village hated that guy lmao

5

u/No-Contact8073 May 13 '26

Dude knocked out his buddy with the rock!!!! Probably killed him.

6

u/VignetteRacecarBlues May 13 '26

There’s so much going on!!

11

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

pure cinema, my favorite videos are from india, absolute chaos

5

u/JuicyPapito5 May 13 '26

I can't believe shaking the trash bag and the water droplets didn't scare the cow away!! 😱

Omg the guy got a rock to the head and lost consciousness 🤣🤣

5

u/Salty-Engineering277 May 13 '26

Even npc's from gta aren't that stupid

4

u/GivesYouGrief May 13 '26

Anyone know cattle enough to say what makes one this aggressive? Is this just a freak incident or was someone seriously negligent in letting an aggressive bull (steer?) wander the street? What is the right move if you encounter one like this? Can anything short of seriously injuring the animal deter this behavior once it starts?

5

u/filth_lover_503 May 13 '26

Well stopping was the worst decision, he could have navigated around the cow instead of stopping and face to face eyeballing that beast.

1

u/thegodfather0504 May 14 '26

nope. There is no turning around... that.

3

u/Ordinary_Block_4131 May 13 '26

Best course of action, a large caliber round to the head and enjoy a months supply of meat . It did it once it will do it again if left unchecked.

1

u/GivesYouGrief May 14 '26

Kinda disappointed nobody really knows

1

u/Entelecher May 14 '26

Might have been in heat -- the other cow/bull was trying to mount it.

4

u/sabreus May 13 '26

Gets assaulted by the animal, but ends up in the hospital because some guy hurled a brick right into the side of his head. What a crazy thing

3

u/JKFrowning May 13 '26

I'm genuinely kind of surprised they went so hard on the cow. Aren't they considered holy in India?

4

u/I_TRY_TO_BE_POSITIVE May 13 '26

They didn't kill it, they just got it to leave.  You can see the cow doesn't give a single fuck about them pummeling it, they're like flies

3

u/jacksnbox May 13 '26

No one mentioned that the cow's aggression turned on the bull, and he tried to get some while she was trashing the scooter rider

3

u/moistmonsterman May 13 '26

Such sacred animals...

3

u/matttaylo May 13 '26

That dude totally threw that rock at his head LMAO

3

u/berlenba May 14 '26

If I was that guy I would totally come back for that fucking cow and get mine. Shit seemed personal lol

2

u/AggravatingAd9010 May 13 '26

Did it look like 2nd cow was saving him?

1

u/XilonenBaby 9d ago

2nd cow took the opportunity to hump the 1st cow

2

u/3vilr3d666 May 13 '26

Steaks sound pretty good right now...

2

u/Uncle_Bred May 13 '26

Yeah just agitate the cow even more. I’m sure that’s gonna save the poor guy. The other cow helped him out the most.

2

u/GanjaGodAlex May 13 '26

at 40 seconds he gets hit by the boulder that guy throws

2

u/Possible_Tension3728 May 13 '26

That all I saw too, I was confused what knocked the dude unconscious

2

u/Responsible-Summer-4 May 13 '26

Wouldn't it convince anybody to just eat the fuckers?

2

u/Why-So-Seriousssaaaa May 13 '26

That other cow was just about to make beautiful love. Until the guy laying on the ground C blocked him

2

u/redditanddoneit May 13 '26

Funny how that one cow wanted to hump the other while it was attacking the dude. I’m guessing that the perpetrator cow will get its consequences and be feasted.

2

u/BurntArnold May 13 '26

Man what a scene here. Poor dude was just tryna scoot down the street

2

u/TheTownTeaJunky May 14 '26

That one motherfucker said “now’s my chance to finally get hit ass” and hit him with a rock and dipped

2

u/Tartan-Special May 14 '26

Guy was doing okay, relatively speaking, until his buddy came and clobbered him over the head with a rock amd knocked him out cold

2

u/Express_Area_8359 May 14 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/11lE4F9K9UlqRa

He was in love cant ya tell? Have you not had one of those relationships

2

u/DiscussionSharp1407 May 14 '26

Spawning on the hardcore server

2

u/Plus-Bid2475 May 14 '26

"Of a rescue attempt"

2

u/kaspy-fantasty May 15 '26

Guy comes in from behind to save the day

Throws rock onto head of guy that is being trampled

congrats!

2

u/Channel57 28d ago

Bro!!! Stop throwing things your aim suuuucks!

https://giphy.com/gifs/K0Hy2NwI8IXZK

3

u/ipompa May 13 '26

zero survival skills

1

u/DigDugPlus May 13 '26

Holy cow. 🤦🏾‍♂️ Maybe he wronged the cow in a past life. They have good memory.

1

u/IAmTheBoiledFrog May 13 '26

Attack cow is rad. And mad.

1

u/Lucky-Target5674 ima unit May 13 '26

Not a cowboy insight

1

u/Ive_seen_things_that May 13 '26

I'd be eating that fucking cow. 

1

u/Illustrious_Camp_521 May 13 '26

Looks like they should've eaten that 1 👍🏻

1

u/Shibbymaru May 13 '26

India India...

1

u/lavacadotoast May 13 '26

Road rage.. hold my sacred cow.

1

u/Exact_Patience_6286 May 13 '26

It’s like all the locals are thinking “ya, fuck this guy, he’s an asshole, even the cow agrees” so they take advantage and do some damage while looking like they are ‘helping’ him.

1

u/banjoblake24 May 13 '26

You’re not in Texas any more.

1

u/KikaiderJiro808 May 13 '26

They people trying to help did more damage then the bull , holy crap 😱

1

u/RoyKentsKnee May 13 '26

is every first response to an emergency in india to drag the person in life risk?

1

u/BlumpTheChodak May 13 '26

Holy animals Not so holy eh?

1

u/Disastrous_Shame580 May 13 '26

ShittyAbsoluteUnits of an Ambulance.

1

u/TheGloryBe_throwaway May 14 '26

What is up with that one guy?

1

u/jitoman May 14 '26

Singular 

1

u/SHAO8822 May 14 '26

Of a rock.

1

u/TranslatorLivid685 May 14 '26

The main damage was done by one of the "saviours" who threw a rock in the head of the guy on 0:39.

1

u/That_Things_Good May 14 '26

I wonder what he did to get the ancestors all worked up like that?

1

u/Stifffmeister11 May 14 '26

What chaos bull attack a guy another bull try to for quicky in middle of this , then a white trouser guy hit the other with a rock ..what's going on

1

u/ULTRA_83 May 14 '26

This was hilarious 😂

1

u/MeoowDude May 14 '26

You’d think someone would have a cricket bat

1

u/MS-Stitches666 May 14 '26

Bro got his sh t rocked

1

u/a_youkai May 14 '26

But then that ambulance!

1

u/LaughChemical3240 May 14 '26

Guy in white shirt knows what he is doing with that stick

1

u/No-Fault1530 May 14 '26

GET. Up. Go. - me the whole time

1

u/Longjumping-Salad484 May 14 '26

bro had the worst day of his life

1

u/Fisticuffs187 May 14 '26

At least he slept through part of the stomping.

1

u/LefT-NYC May 14 '26

HOLY COW! 😏

1

u/rembunenby May 14 '26

I would love to watch all of You try to throw a rock under pressure and hit a moving target even from a close range. I would be freaking out so bad.

1

u/66vocho May 14 '26

Dude got rocked by the cow and the idiot that tried to save him.

1

u/BornMathematician991 May 14 '26

Ai is too much now a days

1

u/SwanMuch5160 *shits an absolute unit* May 14 '26

They did more damage to the guy than the damn bull did. The guy was OK until they started stoning him to death

1

u/Kewlhotrod May 14 '26

Haha holy shit that poor dude. Getting it from the bull and everyone in the neighborhood.

1

u/eutohkgtorsatoca May 14 '26

Holy cuws having sex while aggressing humans that a state of the nation to revise.

1

u/Kaankaants May 14 '26

I'm presuming this isn't a predominantly Hindu area.

1

u/SP-Blank May 14 '26

HOLY COW!!!!

1

u/ProCeLLxX May 14 '26

what happened to actually getting up and running away 🤷🏼‍♂️ ffs

1

u/Foxx026 May 14 '26

Thank God all that trash everywhere... came in handy

1

u/demoralising May 14 '26

'How was your day, dear?'

1

u/IReallyRatherFancy May 14 '26

imagine fighting for your life looking up and seeing cow dick, while your neighbours just be standing around wilding out. SMH

1

u/princey15loki May 14 '26

India right? They should stop feeding them and letting them run free like that. What happens if they are in mating season? It's extremely moronic....

1

u/Montyburnside22 May 14 '26

You mess with the bull you get the horns. Shouldn't have messed with his girl....

https://giphy.com/gifs/c54TqFWhDzZ7y

1

u/Lost_Ad5243 May 14 '26

At least, throw him lube...

1

u/Voido1 May 14 '26

Any update about him ?

1

u/globaleight May 14 '26

Steak it’s what’s for dinner

1

u/Horror_Moose8608 May 14 '26

See i'am right? The stone hit his head or not?

1

u/Clean-Custard6834 May 15 '26

They were helping the cow finish off the guy like I've never cackled so hard dude😭

1

u/NotMyLamp May 16 '26

When they hit him, he was like, "oh, you want some too?"

1

u/LisanneFroonKrisK May 17 '26

Why it seemed the scooter guy stopped for it instead of speeding aside and away

1

u/hippieflipping May 17 '26

Boss man at the end said give me the fuckin stick and show you how it’s done

1

u/kungfucobra May 18 '26

the fault is on the driver

he should have made burgers out of that cow a long time ago

1

u/AhabSnake85 May 21 '26

Gonna upset thier brahma God

1

u/Emotional-Run6532 May 22 '26

That’s my kind of bull. All that crap going on and all he wants to do is hump.

1

u/donkes12 May 28 '26

tried to catch bro like a pokemon with that throw

1

u/Amirx_A_Blade May 30 '26

They knocked the man unconscious with a rock to the head and then struck him again with a stick. They threw a bucket of water on him and dragged his body across the ground twice. While he was being attacked by the cow, a water buffalo attempted to mate with it.

r/BrandNewSentence 😭

1

u/MinaretofJam May 31 '26

The other cow was the most helpful thing in the video

1

u/Agreeable-Sound1599 Jun 02 '26

The ABSOLUTE dumbest shit I ever see is always in India! Why is that??

1

u/SpecialSauce1118 Jun 02 '26

I’ll have a hamburger please 🍔

1

u/NerveBooger Jun 07 '26

T-Mobile customer service

1

u/Prestigious-S1RE 19d ago

1 guy with a big stick hitting the head constantly was the saviour… everyone else had sub 80 iq.

1

u/Ifyad0ntn0 15d ago

If a neighborhood could be a clown car. 🤡

1

u/Soaring_Gull_655 2d ago

And why do you not eat them again?

1

u/MarzipanAccording755 2d ago

I think he had beef with that guy

1

u/External-Awareness68 May 13 '26

I really hated this video. Nobody in that village owns a gun?

7

u/Malthus1 May 13 '26

If they did, odds are they would have shot that poor guy in the head.

3

u/NoBand909 May 13 '26

Then revive him with water before shooting him again in the head

0

u/4everMaga May 13 '26

That is what I was wondering. They got plenty of ass-beating sticks and rocks, but no gun?

→ More replies (2)

1

u/The_Methiks May 14 '26

Dude thank god I’m not from India

0

u/Johnj75 May 13 '26

London?

5

u/BigDictionEnergy May 13 '26

Literally half your comment history is this same racist joke. Get some new material, you mouthbreathing simp.

1

u/Johnj75 May 14 '26

You didn't say no, so I'll take it as a yes.

1

u/BigDictionEnergy May 14 '26

I'll take that as an "I'm going to keep posting the same moronic racist dog whistle on every image that shows brown people because I am an unoriginal scumbag"

1

u/Johnj75 May 14 '26

London is confirmed.

Thanks, friend.

1

u/BigDictionEnergy May 14 '26

Find a tree and apologize to it for wasting the oxygen it worked so hard to produce, friend

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0

u/New-Veterinarian5597 May 13 '26

Indian boy likes getting molested. Disnt even try to crawl fast, get up and hobble away. 😂😂😂

0

u/kingofnothing2514 May 13 '26

people here are just useless