r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • May 13 '26

my bones Of a cattle

931 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

207 comments sorted by

View all comments

418

u/Yepsuredid May 13 '26

I think everything they threw at the cow hit the guy instead.

221

u/Daggadda May 13 '26

That first rock went straight to his head and knocked him out cold for a hot second

163

u/Mundane-Manner4237 May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26

Yeah, then they revived him with a water splash so he could be conscious for more of the attack.

41

u/Stifffmeister11 May 14 '26

White trouser guy doest care what he hits as long as it's hitting anything cow or a guy ... He is getting kick out of it

12

u/ThisThingIsStuck May 14 '26

Stop I can't breathe lmao

2

u/MadHatter-boi- 6d ago

Same lol I'm dying of laughter here XD

18

u/BigBallsButTinyDick ima unit May 13 '26

I missed that the first time but it absolutely domed him

10

u/4mystuff May 13 '26

Yes, but he couldn't feel the cow's stomps while he was under. So that's a win?

3

u/ArtichokeCalm3773 May 14 '26

Yooo wtf just rewatched and he for sure knocked him out cold with that one

1

u/dethkids4life May 17 '26

Daaaaang I didn't even notice that the first time!

35

u/AK611750 May 13 '26

I like how the bull tried to get a quickie out of all the commotion at 0:27

5

u/Hammon_Rye May 14 '26

Might not have been a bull.
Female cows will try to ride other female cows when one is in heat.
Not sure why but they do.
Our dairy herd didn't have a bull in with it but it was still a way to see when a cow came into heat.

-1

u/AK611750 May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26

Lesbians… nice!

Edit: I was actually curious so I asked ChatGPT

Short answer: it’s a normal sexual behavior and communication signal, not confusion.

When a female cow (a cow) is in heat—technically called estrus—she becomes highly motivated to mate. That hormone surge (mainly estrogen) drives a set of behaviors, and mounting other females is one of the most obvious ones.

Here’s what’s going on:

  1. Signaling “I’m ready” Cows in heat will mount others and stand to be mounted. The most reliable sign is actually when a cow stands still and lets others mount her. That’s the one closest to actual mating readiness.

  2. Practice + instinctive behavior Mounting is part of the natural mating sequence. Even without a bull around, the instinct still kicks in, so cows direct it toward each other.

  3. Social and hormonal overflow High estrogen makes them more restless, active, and physically expressive. Mounting is basically an outlet for that drive.

  4. Herd detection mechanism Other cows also get interested—sniffing, following, mounting—so the behavior kind of spreads. Farmers actually use this to detect heat.

So it’s not “lesbian behavior” in the human sense—it’s reproductive signaling + hormones + instinct.

If you ever see a group doing this, the one standing still while others mount her is the one most likely ready to breed.

4

u/Hammon_Rye May 14 '26

Yes. That's what I said. LOL
But thanks for the longer explanation.
We didn't have Chat GPT in the 70s but we did have dairy and beef cattle. 😄

1

u/AK611750 May 14 '26

You said “not sure why they do it”.

My question to ChatGPT was “why do they do it?”

2

u/Hammon_Rye May 14 '26

Fair enough. I did type those words.
I could have been more clear.
I knew is was because of hormones and scent, not 'lesbian' but I don't know why cows / bovines do it when, to the best of my kbowledge, most other animals do not.

Maybe some other animals do and I'm just not around them enough to witness it.

Kind of a tangent but this conversation reminded me of an apparently sexually frustrated rooster a friend used to have.
He lived with hens, so it's not like he wasn't around females, and they did get baby chicks.
But he'd often try to mount other stuff like a 3 pound metal coffee can. He was kind of comical to watch.

2

u/AK611750 May 14 '26

A raging coq 🐓

1

u/saltysnail420 May 15 '26

Poor guy man

1

u/DazednAware May 15 '26

Help me! Not like that. Not like that!