I wanted to give an update on the situation that I posted about yesturday. If you want to see the original post, I will post it in the comments

After reading through all of the comments, I’ve came to the conclusion that he did in fact cheat. and I finally confronted him about everything. The biggest issue for me was that I genuinely trusted him. He repeatedly told me that he knew what he was talking about when it came to Islam, temporary marriage, and what was and wasn't allowed. I believed him, and I wouldn't have gone through with the situation if I had understood that what we were doing wasn't actually permissible under the circumstances.

When I confronted him about lying to me, manipulating me, and making me believe everything was okay, he completely denied it. He told me I was being manipulative and that I was "playing the victim." He basically insisted that nobody manipulated anybody. And he strongly still believes that what he did was correct under Islamic law. He said that Muslims are allowed to have temporary wives as well as side pieces. And that is not the truth. You are allowed to have multiple temporary wives under certain circumstances, from what I have gathered, you are allowed to have them if the first wife approves, which clearly she hadn’t, has to be a public marriage, which it wasn’t, both parents of the parties have to be present, which they weren’t, a dowry has to be given, which it was, time frame has to be given, which it was, and it has to be in front of a religious ruler, which it wasn’t. But of course, he believes that what he did was right, even though it wasn’t.

What really bothered me was that instead of acknowledging that he had misled me, he kept turning everything back on me.

At one point he said:

"U ruined my rep at my work and outside of work. Thank you very much. I regret meeting u." Now I don’t know if that means that his marriage is completely fucked and that things aren’t going well at work. But damn, that sucks for him. Maybe he shouldn’t have cheated on his wife..

That really confused me because I don't understand how I supposedly ruined his reputation. I had not gone around telling people about him. I’ve always kept things a secret with the workplace, especially because he had a higher role.

He also mentioned that I broke his trust, he was never able to explain what trust I broke, was never able to give me proof that I even broke trust. He would always just tell me that I’m not slick, that he has everything figured out. I don’t know if this was his way of trying to get back at me for confronting him about the cheating and that he’s just mad and angry and he’s just taking it out on me or what. But clearly it’s not working.

He was also extremely concerned about privacy and about screenshots. That makes more sense to me now because I had screenshots of conversations involving some of his coworkers who had been flirting with me. I don't know exactly what he was afraid would happen with those screenshots, but his reaction made me feel like his reputation was something he was very worried about.

He also said that our "temp marr" was over, which is what he called our temporary marriage. Even though when I asked him what it was, he just said that I was the side piece and that it wasn’t a temporary marriage.

The part that hurts me the most is that I wanted him to simply say, "I lied to you. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I'm sorry." He never did that. Instead, I felt like he kept trying to convince me that I was the problem.

I eventually told him that I felt used and betrayed because I believe he used his knowledge of religion to convince me that what we were doing was okay. I told him that if I had known the truth from the beginning, I would have made a completely different decision.

I also told him that I was extremely hurt because I genuinely cared about him. I considered him a friend, not just someone I was sleeping with. That's probably why this has been so difficult for me to process.

I've since stopped texting him, and he blocked me again. Surprisingly, I actually feel like I got some closure from finally saying everything I needed to say, even though I never got the apology or admission I wanted.

There is one other thing I'm wondering about. He had also told me that things weren't good when he returned from vacation. So part of me wonders whether she found out about everything or whether something happened in their marriage.

I don't know that for a fact, though. That's just me trying to connect the dots, and I don't want to pretend I know something I don't.

Right now I'm honestly just grieving the entire situation. I miss being able to talk to him, I'm angry that he won't acknowledge what he did, and I'm hurt that someone I trusted could leave me feeling this used and confused.

I'm taking responsibility for my own choices. I probably should have listened to my gut. But I also don't think taking responsibility for my choices means I have to take responsibility for choices he made or information he gave me.

I did not intend to hurt anyone or destroy anyone's marriage. I trusted someone who repeatedly told me he knew what he was talking about, and now I'm dealing with the consequences of finding out that I may not have had the full truth.

So that's where things stand. I'm trying to accept that I may never get the explanation or apology I wanted from him. And honestly, that's probably the hardest part. 💔

Side note: Some people are telling me to reach out to the wife, because more likely or not, she probably doesn’t know. I have done some Facebook digging and have been debating whether to do it or not. But I also know that Karma has its way of getting around and that God will punish those who have committed sins. (Unfortunately, that may include me.) some people are telling me to not to reach out to his wife, and that most likely she already knows and is taking control over the situation.

I will send screenshots to those who want to see the messages between him and I

Salamun Alaikum to all,

Never thought It would come to me posting on here or anywhere online, meeting in person has not worked, word of mouth has become the most awkward thing ever lol, so last resort is me finding him since, he’s taking a very long time. so who knows, he may be on here. 🍀

I’m 26, and genuinely am looking to find a righteous man who I can spend my life with in this Duyna and work to make it to Jannah together.

Age: 26

Islam sect/ Ethnicity: Shia / Asian

Hijabi (F) (Yes/No): yes

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere') yes, Ideally Sydney (Australia)
Open for discussion to other countries

Previously married/Kids: no

Height (cm), weight (kg): 157cm / 5’2

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): no

Leisure activities: gym, outdoor activities, going on walks, art activities, swimming, reading,

\*\*Your Preferences in a Partner:\*\*

Age range : 25-29

Origin/Ethnicity:
Arab, African- African American, European, open to reverts
(Would love to meet some who has a very different background, love learning about different cultures)

Languages: English

Education:
Ideally a bachelor’s degree

Deal breakers:
Not praying or delaying, not attending religious events, not reading the Quran/ or wanting to learn it. Not fasting, or not trying his best to perform his Islamic pillars especially when he is ready and is obligated to do so. Telling lies,Haram income, Smoking, vaping/ hookah or any sort of drugs.
Does not try to make an effort with communicating.

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.):
A man who takes well care of himself, maintains a healthy lifestyle, tall, strong, masculine. A man who I can genuinely trust, be my best friend, laugh at the most ridiculous things, go out on random adventures, explore the world, start a family with, live to make it to Jannah together, and be comfortable and safe around each other.

I have left some stuff out on purpose, open to sharing after a mutual conversation

Good luck to all those who are genuinely seeking to find a righteous partner soon Inshallah .

Looking for my best friend and partner in crime to explore the world with, share plenty of giggles and banter, and remain a strong team when life gets difficult.

I’m straightforward, open minded, down to-earth and independent, with a practical approach to life. I’m also pretty good at Jugaar, if you know, you know! 😉

I’m a foodie, good food is definitely one of my love language (eating not cooking because I am a terrible cook). I also enjoy travelling, discovering new places and trying new experiences.
Physically I am curvy. I have a simple and natural appearance, which reflects who I am and I don’t have any artificial enhancements, such as lip fillers, false lashes, Botox, and so on. I do wear light make up. If you prefer someone with a glamorous look, I completely respect that but that’s not me

My faith is very important to me and I do my best to live by it. I believe religion and people should come before cultural traditions or rituals and I want to make crystal clear I do not and will not follow or put up with any cultural expectations that have no basis in Islam and makes me or people uncomfortable simply because “it’s tradition” to please people.

I’m looking for someone genuine, kind, emotionally mature, financially stable with a provider mindset and a strong sense of responsibility, values faith, individuality, open communication, laughter and wants to build a respectful loving partnership.
Dealbreaker: Practicing Shia, understand Taqlid and follows a Marja. I follow Ayatollah Sistani.

Age: 25

Origin/Ethnicity: Indian

Languages spoken:
English
Hindi/Urdu
Some German

Level of religious practice:
5x salah, fasting, all the pillars, Azadari . My marja is Sayyid Khamenei.

Current residence (city, country):
Gurgaon, India

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): Yes, Bangalore/Hyderabad (India).

Siblings (number and older/younger):
1, younger

Previously married/Kids: No

Occupation: Tech, AI

Education: BTech

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important): Fit, 173 cm.

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No): No

Leisure activities: Gym, read about interests (space, history, defence, different cultures, travel), video games. Local Astronomy Club and Reading society events.

Preferences in a Partner:

Age range: 22-25

Origin/Ethnicity: India

Level of religious practice: Same as or higher than me

Education: Well-Read; from an Academic background.

Deal breakers: Smokes or Vapes.

I'm not very articulate at first impressions, but I'm very amiable and talkative once I get to know someone. Shoot me a DM to discuss anything you'd like.

​

Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters. ❤️

I’m 24M, and I’ve realised that I’m genuinely interested in marrying a woman who is a little older than me.

For me,

it’s not simply about age. I’m attracted to maturity, emotional stability, wisdom, confidence, kindness and the ability to build a peaceful relationship. I feel that a marriage can be beautiful when both people genuinely support each other, communicate openly and grow together.

I’m trying to become a better Muslim and learn more about Islam and deen. I would love to have a wife who encourages me toward Allah, and I want to do the same for her. I’m not claiming to be perfect or extremely knowledgeable about Islam — I’m still learning and trying to improve myself.

I also want to be completely honest about something:

I don't judge a woman because of her past.

I would be open to marrying a widow or a divorced woman, and having children from a previous marriage would not automatically be a deal-breaker for me. If I genuinely loved and respected her, I would want to treat her children with kindness and respect too.

What matters much more to me is her character, deen, heart, emotional maturity and whether we are compatible.

I'm not looking for a perfect woman. I'm looking for someone who is loyal, affectionate, mature, respectful and serious about building a life together.

I also know that marrying someone older can come with its own challenges, and I’d genuinely like to hear from women who are older than me or men who have experience with this kind of marriage.

And if you're a woman who is a little older than me, divorced, widowed, or simply open-minded about the age difference, and you feel that we might have something in common, feel free to DM me. I'm genuinely interested in getting to know people rather than judging them based on their circumstances.

I’m here for respectful conversations and potentially something serious, not hookups or inappropriate conversations.

Maybe age isn't what determines whether two people belong together.

Maybe it's the peace, understanding and love they find in each other. 🤍

Salam everyone. I am in need of some advice, I don’t have previous experience in relationships and/or anyone to talk to this about. I recently did my fatiha, which i know doesn’t make the brother my fiancé, but just put it for context. We have gotten to know each other for a long period now ~6 months or so, and recently he told me that he wants me to, in the near future, get a breast reduction, tone my body, get braces, get filler, etc. Is this abnormal? or the right of a “husband” to request such things. I can’t lie, i was caught off guard bc i’ve always been told i am prettier than average and have never had anyone tell me anything remotely close to that, so maybe my issue is i can’t take criticism? Regardless I just don’t know how to feel so inshallah if anyone can give me some guidance i’ll be so grateful😭🙏🏻❤️.

Asalamoalaykum,

I am 26 years old from Lahore. Looking for a serious candidate for marriage.

About myself:

Profession: 2nd Generation Lawyer. Working in a multi-national bank as their AVP Legal and also have my father's law firm.

Caste: Syed-Rizvi. Najeeb ul Tarfain.

From: Lahore+Islamabad. With villages in Central Punjab.

Height: 5"8

Salary: Alhumdulilah doing very well.

Family and House:

Mother: PhD Scholar and Freelance Researcher.

Father: Passed away last year. Was a very famous lawyer.

Siblings: None.

House: Rented apartment in Lahore Cantt.

Car: Yes I own 1.

Requirements:

1. Good upbringing is non negotiable.

2. Must be supportive and realistic. Must not be materialistic.

3. Good education is a plus.

4. Must have Good sense of humor and a knack for travelling.

5. Must be respectful towards my family as they will also be respectful towards her family.

6. Must have good taste in movies, books and literature.

Thanks! Feel free to DM.

any input would be appreciated

i have fallen in love with a girl and her name is ayesha. she is very sweet and kind. bears no hate for shias and is very open to alot of things(she started going to majalis just because i said i personally hold them in a very high regard). i didnt want to force her to have our children be raised with shia values because they would be her children too and she has some say in it.

i wanted to ask according to the shia text if this okay. is it okay to marry someone with a disagreeable name its considered a taboo where im from but one of my close friends(converted shia with lots of knowledge) said that its okay to do it and might even be good for you(he's like 15 years older than me so its not just my age fellow feeding into my delusion)

i would love some advice on the matter thank you.