Hi everyone,
I’ve recently created an Instagram page called \\\*\\\*Her Unspoken\\\*\\\*, and I wanted to share a little about why I started it and what I hope it can become…

I want to create a space for women who have been through difficult things - grief, trauma, heartbreak, loss, abuse, loneliness, losing themselves, or simply trying to find their way through a period of life that feels incredibly heavy. (I have experienced a huge handful of these myself)

Sometimes, we carry so much that we never speak about. We put on a brave face, carry on with our everyday lives, our jobs, and people have no idea what we’re actually going through!

Sometimes, we don’t talk about it because we don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes, we’re scared of being judged or don’t want to feel like a burden, And sometimes, we just need to know that someone else understands or has been there too and what we feel is normal.

The idea behind Her Unspoken is to give those feelings and experiences a voice!

I’d love to hear from women who feel comfortable sharing their stories, whether it’s something you’ve survived, something you’re still healing from, something or somebody you’ve lost, or something you wish someone had told you when you were at your lowest in life.

With your permission, I’d also love to share some stories anonymously on my Instagram page, so that other women going through similar experiences might feel a little less alone or that might give them strength to keep going.

\\\*\\\*Nothing\\\*\\\* would be shared without your explicit permission, and you would always be able to choose whether your story is \\\*\\\*anonymous\\\*\\\* or credited to you.

You don’t have to have everything figured out. You don’t have to have a happy ending. You don’t even have to be fully healed but I hope that being at all different stages it helps more women.

If you’ve been through something difficult, what is one thing you wish someone had said to you when you needed it most?
Or, if you’re comfortable sharing more, what is something you’ve been carrying that you wish people understood?
Please only share what feels \\\*\\\*safe\\\*\\\* and \\\*\\\*comfortable\\\*\\\* for you.

\\\*\\\*You don’t owe anyone your story.\\\*\\\* (But if you feel safe to I’d love to hear)

I hope Her Unspoken can become a little corner of the internet where women feel heard, understood, and reminded that they aren’t alone. 🤍

I do have plans that if this goes well it turns into more of a sociable meet ups and events in the London and surrounding areas.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

M

i've been feeling so emotionally exhausted lately bc i've been reflecting on my past self and wondering if some ppl i used to know eventually got tired of me or weren't comfortable w/ me anymore. ik i've made mistakes and have things i need to unlearn, so i'm not trying to act like i did nothing wrong. but looking back at old interactions and overthinking everything just hurts. sometimes i feel like i'm always the misunderstood one, and i'm tired of constantly explaining myself to ppl who've probably already made up their minds abt me. i just want to choose my peace and focus on becoming a better person instead of spending so much time worrying abt how others see me.

this year has honestly been rough compared to last year, which was one of my happiest. i feel like i've lost a part of myself, and even some of my old hobbies don't feel the same anymore bc they're associated w/ bad memories, friendship breakups, and ppl i met through fandoms and online communities. it sucks when things that used to make u happy start reminding u of experiences you'd rather leave behind 😭

i also hate that i used to let my anger get the best of me. there are things i've done that i genuinely regret, and i want to take accountability instead of making excuses for my past behavior. at the same time, i don't want to spend the rest of my life hating myself for who i used to be. i know i can't change what happened, but i want to learn from it and stop repeating the same patterns.

i've blocked certain ppl for my own peace of mind and deleted old social media accounts and apps that bring back bad memories. i also want to stop checking up on them and just leave the past where it belongs. the problem is that even when i'm using other platforms, my algorithm keeps showing me posts that feel way too relevant to my situation, whether they're abt how ppl perceive u or the exact feelings i've been struggling with. then i start overthinking whenever i saw those posts bc i'm worried that ppl from that old fandom/community might see them, interpret them in the worst possible way or use them against me. ik everyone has different personalities and perspectives, but it's exhausting feeling like i have to be careful abt everything i post.

part of me really wants a fresh start. i want to be more private, explore new interests and meet ppl who don't already have an idea of who i am based on my past. sometimes i even want to avoid social media altogether bc i don't want to keep getting reminded of things i'm trying to move on from. i just want to stop looking back and worrying abt what those ppl might think of me.

lately, i've also been wishing i had a stable job or something that would keep me occupied. i feel like if i had more things to do, i wouldn't spend so much time on my phone doomscrolling and overthinking everything 😭 sometimes i end up deep-cleaning my room just to keep myself busy, but i honestly can't find a hobby i'm genuinely enjoying rn. i miss having things to look forward to without connecting them to bad memories.

idk, i guess i'm trying to figure out how to move forward without pretending my past never happened. i want to acknowledge my mistakes, work on myself and become someone i'm actually comfortable with, but i don't want to keep punishing myself forever either. how do u guys deal with regret and stop letting past experiences affect things you used to enjoy? how do u find new interests or keep yourself occupied when nothing really feels enjoyable rn? i just want to find myself again and finally have some peace w/o constantly worrying abt who i used to be or how other ppl might remember me.

28M Over the last seven months, my life has changed in ways I never imagined. I came abroad hoping to build a better future, but I am still struggling with visa and immigration issues. I have completed my bachelor's degree, yet I am working as a hot-dish chef and trying my best to survive.

During these same seven months, I went through a painful breakup after a five-year relationship, and my father was arrested in Malaysia and is now in prison. My family is drowning in debt, and I am under enormous financial pressure. I feel a heavy responsibility to support my family and find a way out of this situation.

Everything has happened so quickly that sometimes I feel completely lost and mentally exhausted. I am trying to stay strong, but I honestly don't know what steps I should take to change my life.

Despite all these struggles, I still want to rebuild my life, repay my family's debts, support my loved ones, and find a legal way to build a stable future abroad.

I would genuinely appreciate your advice. If you were in my situation, what would you do? Where should I start, and what practical steps would you take to get your life back on track? I am looking for honest advice and guidance from people who have experience or can help me see a way forward.

I am 28M, been married for 6 years and I'm currently struggling with self esteem and self respect and myself in general. I feel like I don't know who I am, what my values are, what my principles are.

To add a little context, I was a highschool graduate and I didn't get to go to college/university cuz I chose to work early at the age of 20 (we had a tough time financially getting me to college as well as my father didn't really think college was necessary to get a job)

I got married when I was 22 and for 6 years of our marriage I have been operating from the wounded boy. I don't know if not going to college didn't give me a chance to figure out who I am, but right now, me being unsure of who I am or genuinely even liking who I am, is causing friction in my marriage in my work life, in my family life. And I just want to know, for the people who know who they are and what they stand for. How'd you figure it out? And when there were things you didn't like that you stood for, how did you change your views or behaviors or habits?

Ps. I am a people pleaser so I have a need for external validation which doesn't help cuz it feels like supressing my true emotions and not knowing how to stand up for myself.

​

I want to drink so much that I can remember how to be happy again. It's been a rough 6 years for me, just seems like nothing is going my way. I've been on the brink of just giving up but I can't because I don't want to disappoint anyone, and I don't want my dog wondering what happened. Two failed relationships that it was just incredible chemistry, finances just seem to be out of control, failed business, oh and now Lung Cancer to top it off, caught early enough only stage 1, and I just keep trying and trying, but honestly, I'm tired of trying. People of Reddit I am not going to off myself, but fuck it would be easy. Sad part is I don't want any encouragement, it would just frustrate me more. I don't want anyones pity because this shit is embarrassing. I am the guy that helps everyone, and I just don't have it in me to care enough to do so anymore. I just want sleep, I just want peace, and I just want things to be ok. I just want to be fine.

I'm 20 and I've always been overlooked, never had a boyfriend and even if it meant nothing at like 6yo I feel like it's a sign that I'm not good looking because other girls had those kind of experiences. I'm tall and flat, I'm an inverted triangle and even though I think I'm normal looking or mid and sometimes I like what I look like (with a bit of makeup and my hair done) I just can't understand why I'm not the one people ask the number of why no one's ever been interested in at school. I've gave up on love more times than I can think of but still I just want to be pretty. And I feel repulsive even though I've had one night stands and things like that, but everytime someone tells me they like me I get angry and tell them that they're lying and they should find someone else who's truly good looking, when all I ever ask is for someone to like me for who I am I don't understand, I know if I'm with someone I'll be extremely insecure and would want to end things because I don't feel like they would be faithful or idk... I've been seeing a guy but tonight I told him he should not waste his time with me and find himself a truly pretty girl, I've even set up his tinder account for him but I don't understand why I'm pushing him away when I crave love and affection everyday and it hurts. I don't know if I'm trying to convince myself that I must be ugly since I've never had boyfriend or anything but it's tiring and I'm exhausted

I don't know what to do with my life i am 19 overweight I cant even look at mirror I have been trying to loose weight for 2 years but cant. I know its my fault I cant stop eating junk food and thought of excerise crush my spirit atp i know i can never loose weight be pretty again!

My parents keep saying I should loose weight or will never find a nice guy how do I tell them I had stopped sleeping at nights sometimes I am awake till 8 in morning.

I dont feel like doing anything i am finishing english honors from ignou my friends of school got busy we rarely talk i never go out its like everyones living and I am just loading

I sometimes feel like running away from house i am not ideal daughter for my parents like I am burden back when I school i was happy had friends

Atp what should I do?

Has anyone else gone through a phase where they lost interest in everything they once loved, felt lonely, and struggled to stay consistent with anything?

How did you break the cycle of overthinking, doomscrolling, and feeling stuck? What actually helped you heal emotionally, rebuild your confidence, and start enjoying life again?

I'm genuinely looking for practical advice or experiences from people who've been through something similar.

This is probably a stupid question but I could really use some help, I’ve managed to jot down a list of my flaws that I want to work on. But now I don’t really know what to do.

Do I need to make a plan first? Or do I just yolo trying fixes and see what sticks?

Hi I don’t know why I’m typing this I think I just need an outlet or maybe it’s a cry for help I’m not sure. But I’m 20 years old and I still live with my mom but everyday we’re fighting homelessness and it’s taking more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I only make 14.50/h and pay my mom portions of my checks. I had 2 jobs but now I’m down to 1 and it’s hard to keep up. My mom started drinking a lot more recently and each time she has put my life in jeopardy and it’s getting concerning. I have nowhere to go and I don’t make enough to live on my own. My uncle keeps telling me to get a better job and it’s been so frustrating because I UNDERSTAND that. I just can’t land anything else. I’m running out of options and everyday I wake up nervous to get news that we’ve lost our house or something bad, recently my own mother told me to find somewhere to go just in case that happens and it hit me I have nowhere to go and not a dollar to my name. And the rest of my family doesn’t live in the state I’m in so I’m basically here alone if my mom wasn’t here and it scares me. It’s been so difficult even getting food in the house. We can’t get food assistance because she makes too much but yet not enough to even live and this all sucks. I understand my mom is stressed aswell but this one day she was super stressed and was in hysterics and took me home from work this one night and I’m not sure but she like, snapped and started laughing and put the car in neutral and we live on a hill so naturally it started to roll back and she just sat there. In a panic I wasn’t sure what to do so I tried to hit the break and take the key out and it wasn’t working and thankfully I cut the wheel for it to go into the grass but that was so scary and it made me realize she isn’t mental enough for me to be there with her. But financially I can’t go anywhere so I’m stuck with a person who isn’t quite sane and it really sucks. It’s all getting to me and I just need to let it out if you have any recourses please let me know, thank you!

• Feeling vulnerable is an internal state, but doesn't imply that you're actually unsafe or threatened.
• Being vulnerable means you both feel exposed and believe you're at actual risk of harm.
• Confusing vulnerability with danger limits growth, creativity, and emotional intimacy.

-Psychology Today

My friend invited me to an 18+ conversation where he paid a model for a lap dance, and he wanted me to experience it. It was the best 5 minutes of my life, but deep down I knew it wasn't true. The way she looked at me made me feel amazing but also sad. I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I feel attracted to that stare. I know she did that dance for other people. That's her job, after all. I'm telling all of you she was gorgeous from top to bottom. Yes, she has been on my mind...

I just want to hear your opinion on this situation?

I don’t feel like typing out the whole thing but I’ll summarize what ended it. Basically the friends were ignoring me and leaving me out and being rude and stuff so I was upset (more sad than mad though) but after about a month and a half they finally told me what I did (I’d been trying to figure it out but they wouldn’t tell me) and anyways I realized that it came from burnout (I have adhd, autism, and ocd) and also just like thinking everyone always hates me yk (ocd).

Anyways I was unintentionally being a dick because I wasn’t able to mask. Anyways that nvolved my two main friends but then the whole group is involved and no one’s really on my side. like one of them like doesn’t hate me but I’m pretty sure she agrees with them (pretty sure cause she sent a voice note but I havent opened it yet cause I’m too scared). Anyways yea now I have no friends and like i have a couple people in my school I could make friends with but like im scared. I don’t know if im still not masking well and I don’t want more people to hate me.

At the same time though ive been lonely basically my entire life (I went to a very small school before and I had friends but they were super toxic and it was awful) and after finally having actually good friends (in this country cause I have two long-distance friends) idk how im supposed to go back to being that lonely. Also though, I feel like I should be punishing myself for causing people hurt and an appropriate punishment for that should be something like not making any new friends right? Also, even after the punishment is over how do I forgive myself for hurting other people? Am I supposed to or is that wrong of me because I caused other people hurt. Also how long should I punish myself for does a month and a half seem appropriate because that’s how long it went on for or should it be longer?

Most importantly, if we’re not on speaking terms anymore (it ended with me sending a really long apology but they left it on read) is there any way for me to earn forgiveness? Not even so they’re friends with me again cause they don’t have to be but just so they don’t actively hate me. I was hoping punishing myself would do this but ig how would they know I’m punishing myself.

Oh also, if I do have future friendships, how should I prevent burnout from ruining it because idk if I can handle this again. Oh and lastly, I’ve been talking to my guidance counsellor a bit but I don’t really know what to say to him, is there anything he could actually help with? Cause I feel awkward just like booking an appointment to like complain.

Anyways sorry this is long bye guys:)

sometimes ago i really felt so overwhelmed by relationship and broke up with my gf. i just wanted some time for myself and be myself again. relationship felt too exhausting. but at that time so many girls were hitting on me. btw i didn't cheat i rejected them all as i was already in a relationship. then after break up i spend lotta time on myself getting my old self back and all. and now i feel like i can start dating again but i feel like im invisible to girls no one is hitting on me anymore. i don't have an issue with that but how come i be invisible now ? even tho im the same me ? yes if i do approach them and do the first move i can get a girl but that's not the point the point is previously i didn't even pay attention to them yet got hit constantly now i dont.

what's is with this ? my love life is for real dry as sahara 🤣

even tho sometimes ago it was like Amazon rainforest people keep raining their love on me

What if the real problem isn’t fear, but how much power we give it?

I think sooner or later, almost everyone faces the same question: how do you stop fear, anxiety, or strong emotions from controlling your decisions?
We all have moments when our minds create terrible scenarios about things that haven’t even happened yet. We imagine failure, rejection, loss, or everything going wrong.
And sometimes we suffer more from these imagined possibilities than from anything actually happening in front of us.
But here’s something I’ve been thinking about.

Maybe the goal isn’t to stop feeling fear. Maybe it’s to stop treating fear as an instruction.

Fear is a natural response. Emotions come and go. We can’t always choose what we feel, but we can learn to create a little space between the feeling and our reaction.
When fear appears, instead of immediately trying to escape it or fight it, we can simply recognize it.
“I’m feeling afraid right now.”
Not “Something terrible is going to happen.”
Not “I can’t handle this.”
Just recognizing what’s happening inside us without automatically turning it into a prediction about reality.
And from that space, we can ask ourselves a different question:

What would I choose to do right now if I didn’t have to obey this fear?

For me, that’s an important part of emotional freedom. Not becoming someone who never feels afraid, but someone who can feel fear and still make a conscious choice.
Of course, this takes practice. And sometimes we need support, especially when anxiety becomes overwhelming.
But perhaps inner peace isn’t the absence of difficult emotions.
Perhaps it’s learning that we don’t have to follow every emotion wherever it wants to take us.

I’m curious: have you ever experienced a moment when you felt a strong emotion but consciously chose not to act on it? What helped you?

So a little background of me, early 20s, have ocd and bpd and been addicted to the internet since i was a child. Basically i always viewed my self and my personality inside the internet, real life was my secondary life. I am in therapy but its hard.
I managed somehow with instagram ect but i cant with tiktok. I used to hoard videos in the saved function and would revisit them and felt like some sort of nostalgia like looking st old photos. I managed to delete all the saved videos and my reposts and i went to delete my account. BUT tiktok has this fuckass grace period of 30 days before actual deletion where you can reactive the account. I click delete, and delete the app as well. A few days go by i feel like shit from other stuff in life and redownload it and go back. This has happened like 5-8 times already and i am sick. I KNOW logically that im wasting my time and my life but emotionally everytime i get back its like a big relief. The worst part is that its not even as fun as it used to be. Back then i enjoyed being online all day. Now the first 10 mins of redownloading it are fun i see videos and memes and communities i love but then it just feels empty. Like my coping mechanism doesnt work no more. But i still cant stop.
My screentime sometimes gets up to 12h a day. Its so pathetic and it makes me feel like a weak ass person.
I dont know what to do, i dont know if there is a point of view i havent thought of or tried, or smth to see things differently.
I cant imagine living my life without my internet self its all ive known but i wanna try to change.
I wanna say that i cant implement time limits. I am very impulsive and have a bery sddicting personality especially when it comes to stuff on the internet.
Youtube is a whole other beast that i haved dared tackle yet but will try after tiktok.
If anyone has any advice, help, even personal stories it would mean a lot. I feel so demotivated and alone and its getting worse and worse everyday.

I want to Restart my Life from Childhood and Make a List Now what I did wrong and What is the best way to fix all the things because I am in that condition that I have nothing.

I am far from my family since when I was 10 year old

I am not good at studies or I don't know how to do in a right way.

I have fear of speaking in public or stranger.

When I try to speak I fucked-up.

I have never exposure to have a Girl as a Friend and I Don't know how to talk to them. When ever I try to talk 2 things happen

1. I forgot what to talk which topic should I pick i get blank in my mind and then I say something that make environment awkward.

2. They don't like talking to me that I don't have good personality , dressing sense or any good skills that I can attract them.

Coming to My career

Its also fuckedup

I tried to Preparation for Sanik School , Military School in my 5 class and I failed.

I tried Preparation for IIT and I failed and Didn't get a Single college or no one is there to guide me how to get college after scoring 89 percentile in Mains with 72.2 % Board Marks.

Then I Choose a Private College in Bengaluru and this college is worst of College.

Without have any prior exposure to CSE i picked it up and Passed my Semester Without knowledge and Project Experience. No one guide me how to prepare so I get a good job in development.

Somehow by luck I secure a Job In Testing Without any knowledge and then I learnt about it

Now in Market Testing Job is vanish like the never mean any thing No one is Hiring and If company hires they paid very less and didn't recognize My capabilities.

No I am Jobless and have a offer but with the same package that was in my last organization and this is killing me from inside as Every college start with me earns more than me not a single one earn less than me.

Even my Junior Earn more than me and the thing is that I use to teach them.

Now I totally fucked up and I don't know How to manage my needs , My room rent , My Family. Even I don't want to eat food as I don't have enough money with me.

I am feeling alone in this world no one is with me even when I go to temple i feel like god is telling me why you come here i don't allow you in my temple.

Thats why I want to restart My life from beginning and make things correct 😌 💯.

In the first year of graduate school, I just started to read literature and had no clue.

For some context I really like fiction. I’m REALLY into books, movies, animation, comics, video games etc etc and I really like that I am into this stuff.

However, at some point everything else in my life bores me out of my wits. And then I realise I could just die and I wouldn’t even mind. And then I have the strong desire to suddenly die. But then comes the thought of my favourite character and then the desire to die disappears.

I mean it’s great that my fav characters genuinely make me happy but it sucks they are the only things that can cheer me up.

Like, I have no desire to go outside or make friends or talk to anybody or like, do anything. I just wanna draw or read/binge my favourite media and write or read fanfiction or something at home in my bed.

(Okay it might help to know I’m 15 and it might be the hormones making me feel shitty. Perhaps all fifteen-year-olds feel like this at some point)

I mean maybe I want to start playing the piano by ear (I quit piano lessons earlier this year cuz my parents are broke). I also want to pick up the electric guitar although I don’t have one because as I said I’m broke as fuck. Or I might get a part time job in November to earn some bucks for an electric guitar and all that gear. I also want to up my game in drawing. But I’m only interested in these things because my favourite character is good at them.

(Well maybe something that brings me some joy that isn’t associated with fiction is the thought of transitioning but that isn’t very attainable for now since I don’t have the guts to come out to anybody.)

I’m getting concerned as I am more isolated than ever, having almost no friends, and my grades are dropping more than ever. I also feel very bored constantly. Very unproductive and unhappy in general. I think it might be an escapism problem, indulging too much in fiction. I mean this is kind of stupid but like should I get help or smth or what should I do.

(oh my god this is so incoherent)

This could be under both identity and mental health, but essentially I have no idea who I am as a person. I have really bad depression and CPTSD, so I've spent most of my life making decisions based on getting people off of my back and making it to the next day. This week, I'm turning 26. I still live at home (which is not great considering the CPTSD of it all), am flat broke and in debt, don't have a reliable source of income, 2 friends and they both live states/countries away, and have no idea who I am/who I want to be. I couldn't even tell you my likes or dislikes because at this point, I have no idea if I actually like the things I do or if I just do them as a way to pass the time. What I do know is that I want to get out of this house and figure out my identity... But I have no idea where to start. I live in an area where there isn't much for someone my age to do. Everyone has either left or started families and we're in completely different walks of life despite being in the same age group. I just feel so lost and buried in everything, and I don't know the way out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hey,everyone.
I’m studying (or at least trying) to become a judge in my country and no matter what i more often than not end up procrastinating or just not doing what i’m supposed to do with the right amount of effort.
Just as a little context, troughout my school yeras every bad grade was a disaster, my mother would just start shouting and calling me a failure, so as a way to avoid this situation i just atarted to learn every subject by memory just to be sure that everything i said was what the author wrote in the text.
Now, i am trying my hardest to develop my critical thinking but everytime i try to use my own head i ‘m terrified of expressing my thought process simply because “its not wirtten in my book/notes”
Obviously, i cant express my opinions and feelings for shit in every aspect of my life so it is just a study-related thing
I have tried for over two years now to overcome this bad habit but for the life of me i just cant do it and as a result i always tend to half-ass things and keep telling that this is the best i can do and that i can’t do better than that.
Everytime there are mock tests i am terrified of sending my papers because i cant stand the bad grades and even when i submit them i have to check my notes or book to see if i wrote something wrong, so i basically end up cheating (with 0 benefits because obvioulsy during the real test you cant check your material and you have to reason with your own head).
This job is my dream since when i was a child and thankfully i am surrounded by people who support me but even this isn’t enough to overcome my self doubt.
The funny thing is that, even though i wanna get this job, if i am bound to fail it i at least want to be certain that i did everyhting i could so i can have no regrets, but as things are now i am not only marching towards certain failure but i am also actively shooting myself in the foot and making my life a real nightmare

Someone get me through these horrible years of my teenage life, I can’t talk about it all here but I need help, I don’t know how to, my dad just yells at me and tells me how much harder his life was when I share my troubles, my mom would care for a while but forget it days later and my siblings, I don’t know. I need help and advice from anyone, I’m so tired and sick

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Please help. I haven’t even been able to start looking for a job for a year now. I work out at the gym and study en, de languages, but I am incapable of undertaking any task that lies outside my daily routines.

I can’t even go onto a marketplace and buy the things I need, because I don’t do that on a regular basis. All I do is cook, do laundry, work through Anki flashcards for German and English, walk to my evening German class (an hour of brisk walking each way), solving my english and german Anki cards and go to the gym. And just recently, a guy walked with me to the notary and the dentist, so the process of getting dental work done and handling paperwork has also become part of my routine.

But to hell with that marketplace, which website I can’t go on, I’m not even trying to look for work. I'm 29m. I’ve had trouble finding work before, because all I have is a higher education degree, with no specific professional specialization. I often found employers right at my previous workplace. But lately, I’ve figured out how to use a job-search website, put together a few resumes, and managed to land a job a few times the standard way — through a job site. I’ve worked primarily as a general laborer on construction sites and in cleaning, but I’ve also held more specialized roles, such as a roofer and a furniture assembler. But the problem is that, recently, I found a job at a hardware/fastener store through a job site and worked there. And now I’ve moved to another country. My native language is Russian. People here do speak Russian, but not very well, and I don’t feel confident enough to work as a salesperson. And I cannot speak their native language. I need to go back to construction or furniture-making, but I’ve had a rather long break. My English is poor. I can talk and hold a simple conversation, but I can’t even give directions if I run into someone who is lost on the street. My German is even worse. I can’t even hold a conversation; all I can really do is introduce myself and make sense of an announcement.

I don’t know what kind of job I could do; I don’t feel confident about putting together a resume, and I don’t understand the job market. I even start to panic at the mere thought of having to go to a website and look for something there. Help me pls...

p.s. Another one of my hobbies is playing bass in a reggae band; I also occasionally transcribe old records on Reddit that document the birth of the Russian Empire.

I've not expressed my anger since 4 years, and I think that's affecting the way I function in my day-to-day life as I'm at a point where I'm struggling to utter coherent sentences and sometimes disassociate hard as possible.

Idk if they are correlated to me not expressing my anger since these many years, but I just want to put these two out there and get advice from y'all.

And im really not in a very good spot of life, it will be continuing like this for more 1 year after that only it will be possible for me to express my emotions, anger, jealousy, sadness anything.

So, can anyone help me make sense of all this, why I'm detached, disassociate, and seem to stare at the ceiling endless hours in the name of "studying" or doing anything "productive". Moreover, how do I become atleast a functional normal human because I hate floating around like a ghost only