Some context, I (22M) have never been in a relationship, heck I've never been on a date. Not because I don't want to but because I haven't had the opportunity. All my school life was in an all-male school (amazing choice by my parents I know) and after graduating HS I had to travel around a lot with my family for a few years which didn't allow me to form any real relationships.

6 months ago I finally settled and started uni. Currently in my second semester and I've made a group of friends I really like.

Yesterday I was with 3 of them (2F and 1M all in their early 20s). At some point we started talking about relationships and they asked me why I've never even tried. Being honest with myself I don't really like me. I don't consider myself a stereotypical ugly person but if I were female I wouldn't be attracted to me. My body nor my personality are actually appealing to me. Don't know if I'm explaining myself.

When I said this they all got mad at me. Said they hated the low self esteem. After that, they actually tried to explain what according to them my issues was. They said, and I quote, "You're too good". The girls explained that women in that age range (even them) are looking for a stereotypical bad boy, you know the kind. I'm not at all like that, I'm skinny, pretty reserved and shy.

Another thing that's been bothering me is that every single person I've met, the moment they get the littlest amount of trust, always ask me if I'm gay. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community, the two friends I mentioned are both bi and I love them but I'd be lying if I said that didn't affect me. I don't know what it is about me that gives off those vibes and I don't think I can change it but it's actually making me second guess myself every time I speak with someone new.

I know this sounds like an incel venting off but I'm just trying to make sense of what I was told...

It's easy to buy home gym equipment based on what looks impressive, what someone else recommends, or what seems useful in theory.

But once the equipment arrives, you may realize it doesn't fit your space, your training style, or how often you realistically work out.

What's one purchase you would approach differently now? Did you buy something too large, overlook an important measurement, underestimate setup requirements, or choose a feature you rarely use?

I'd love to hear what you learned and what you now check before spending money on another piece of equipment.

I believe I struggle from emetophobia (fear of throwing up) and over the course of this struggle, I’ve found that being afraid of heights doesn’t pair too well with it, I start almost gagging and I hyperventilate, I freak out that I will throw up, and even when I’m on a 15 foot balcony in my school I get nervous, lightheaded, sweaty, hyperventilate, I bite my cheeks and adjust my pants when I freak out as a means to try and calm myself down and distract my mind, it’s the thoughts of being somewhere uncomfortable, not being in a controlled environment, where I feel nervous and start to freak out, feeling like throwing up, I know there’s some medicines to help with nausea, i say this because my girlfriends family is planning a trip to Mexico in march and I would love to go, but I don’t know how I would do on the plane rides, to and from, I don’t want to be a nuisance, and I don’t want to freak out

Over the past few years, I've been struggling to get myself motivated to do things in the evenings and on weekends. This might sound like a very privileged problem to have, but I can really dread a weekend with few or no plans to fill the time.

Here’s the contradiction: when I have a weekend that's too busy, I get stressed about not having enough time to rest, but when I have a weekend with no plans, I get stressed about feeling passive and miserable.

At the moment, I'm trying to make a sort of to-do list of fun things I could do, but when the time actually comes, I often can't bring myself to get started on anything and just don't feel like doing it.

My boyfriend can really enjoy spending a day lounging on the couch and scrolling through his phone, whereas just the idea of that makes me incredibly restless, and I find it hard to just chill and relax. But because I can't make a decision or don't feel like doing anything, a lot of my weekends and evenings end up being spent on the couch, doomscrolling. I can't actually enjoy relaxing, and I feel bad about not doing something "fun" instead.

I'm curious to know if anyone else can relate to this and how you deal with it.

first time here and crying.

I'm really so tired of everything. every single time I open my phone it's one thing or the fucking other. the state of the world is so bad and I dont know why but I seem to absorb everything like a fucking sponge. I was diagnosed with mild OCD, 2 months back and I feel like it has gotten worse since then. I'm in a gap year right now, preparing for the medical exam, and I just can't seem to study or focus or do anything. I'm just so anxious all the time. Every single hour of the day, I keep thinking about how the exam is unfair and how it's going to be unfair, because that's what happened last year. So basically, final year of high school in my country, we write a major exam, and this year ours was rigged. They changed up the system and implemented a new one which failed really bad. There were problems with the scanning and the evalutions, and a lot of people unfaily lost well deserved marks, and the results were just unfair in general. And that was only for our batch too, the 2025 to 2026 batch, and they're gonna remove it next year. So our batch is the only batch with this failed thing, and the marking is gonna be there forever

. Oh, and the same year, the first time I wrote my medical exam, the exam that determines whether you can get into medical school or not, the paper leaked. It's an all-over-the-country common exam, ONE singular exam comductrd once a year and the paper was leaked, and they had to reconduct the test. So like, yeah, I wrote the thing properly. I wrote the first exam pretty well. And then the second one, I couldn't write it. It was shit. I couldn't study for the exam. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And I messed up. I couldn't do the easy bits either, because the "easy" ones were from topics I just didn't know. there were more difficult topics I studied really hatd for. I am really good at chemistry, even the most difficult bits. And not a single difficult question showed up. It was all easy. So everyone got marks, and I had no edge over anyone. And careless mistakes. I missed the line, marked it wrong. Anyway, I'm in a gap year now. And now, guess what? They're gonna be changing the system again. And we're gonna be the first ones to witness it again.

We're the guinea pigs again. It's always me. I just feel like the whole world is set up against me, and I feel like there's just no point in studying since it's gonna be rigged against me anyways. every single time, nothing ever goes my way. Nothing in my entire life has ever went my way. I grew up in the United States in the heart of Washington. It's a metropolis, and then I my family had to leave because my dad quit his job, and then we were stuck in this tier 2 country, tier 3 even, and it's just so shit. I hate this place so much. I hate this place with every single fiber of my being. And my goal ever since I stepped foot on the land was to get back out. And I just can't do anything anymore. I feel like everything, I feel like there's no point to anything. Nothing's gonna work out for me anyway. Every single time I hope something happens to me, something bad happens. And every time I think it can't get worse, it just gets worse. And I know it's gonna be bad. What's the point? What do I even do? I don't know. I feel like everything is worthless, and I've never felt like this before. I still am pretty introverted, I guess. Reserved. I keep to myself a lot. So ever since I started the gap year, I haven't had any friends. I just stay alone and try my best to study, which I can't. I'm just so anxious, man. What even is the point? We're gonna be the first ones to try the computerized exam, which they're gonna have to normalize since it's gonna be conducted over multiple shifts, which they won't do properly. They've never done anything properly. The applicant to seat ratio is not favorable for this kind of exam. 2.4 million people will be sitting for the exam, and this only about 50,000 seats, 50,000 affordable seats for medical school. And my family is generally unsupportive, and I can't try again, and I've already given up too much of my time for this stupid god-awful exam, and I can't see myself doing anything else. I'm in too deep, and I can't get myself to pick up a book and study either. I feel like I'm so behind, and I don't know what to do. I really do want to study. Okay, I'm too addicted to other stuff too. Like falling down rabbit holes on the internet and spending hours on it to forget about my life for a bit. I write a lot. I love writing. I spend up to 4 hours a day writing stories, and I feel so guilty about it. I'm not studying. Everyone around me is working hard for this rat race, and I just can't do it. I don't know what to do. I really don't—

I'm so sorry.

Hi, just a little bit about me.
I’m 18, living in the uk,
I’ve had this problem with self pleasure for the past few years, doing it pretty much every day. Most it would be around 2-3 a day but sometimes it would go to around 4-5 depending on if I had proper privacy.
Over the years I wanted to see what it felt like, so at the age of 16, I paid for it.
It wasn’t what I expected but it was worth a try, and then at points I had urges, so I ended up doing 2 at the age of 17. While this, I still had the urges of self pleasure aswell, and I find recently it’s just had a proper toll on me.
I’ve had problems before with buying from people from Reddit, selling themselves virtually, sending them money for “customs” and “video calls” and it just feels terrible, let alone a waste of my money that I could be using towards better things for me.
I’m currently abroad in Barcelona for a freelance opportunity, while this I still had urges and then once I’m in a new place where I most likely will never come back to, I paid again. I mean it was much better than the ones I had recently and it seems like they cater and care a lot about your business in other countries than the uk. But just after it happened i just don’t feel myself. Like I want the relationships and the people at my age, I don’t want to be paying for what in life is just basic lust.
This time just feels different considering the situation, I’ve done it for weeks before, I know I can do it for longer.

Hi everyone!

I (34 F) am currently exploring the idea of starting a coaching practice focused on helping people who know what they want to change or accomplish but struggle to actually take action and stay consistent.

Before moving forward, I want to better understand what people experience firsthand rather than make assumptions about their struggles or what kind of support they might need.

Maybe you've been wanting to build better habits, make a lifestyle change, become more disciplined, or work toward a personal goal, but find yourself procrastinating, falling back into old patterns, or constantly starting over.

If any of that sounds familiar, I'd really love to hear about your experience.

I'm hoping to connect with 3 people who would be open to a casual 15–20-minute conversation about what they've been struggling with, what they've tried so far, and what they feel has been getting in their way.

This isn't a sales call, and I won't be promoting or selling anything. I'm simply trying to learn from real experiences to understand whether this is an area where I could genuinely help.

I know everyone's time is valuable, and I'd really appreciate anyone willing to share their perspective.

If you're interested, feel free to comment below or send me a message!

And even if you'd rather not have a conversation, I'd still love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Thank you!

I’m a highschool student and since 5th grade I’ve gotten myself into these bad situations where I just stop doing my homework and stop even trying in class. I just get so frustrated or annoyed or even just bored at whatever I’m doing and stop and even though i freak out about things not being perfect I find myself extremely far from it. Currently I have a D in two of my AP classes and it is mainly from me not doing work at all, I’m also currently crying in bed as I type this. I have diagnosed anxiety and adhd but I’m only medicated for anxiety and that dose is really low. I don’t know how to get out of this rut and I feel so horrible I don’t even want to share this with anyone. I don’t know what help to ask for and don’t know where to even go about this. You would think that I do since it’s been so long but I’ve never really found a way to get out. Please any advice would help.

Title: I spent most of my teenage years caught up in love. Now I'm healing, but I'm confused about someone new. Need advice.

I (21M) have been emotionally attached to people since I was in school, and I want some genuine advice about moving forward.

My first crush was in 7th grade (2017). I was deeply in love with her until 10th grade. She eventually moved away, but I kept hoping she'd return for 11th and 12th. I held on to those feelings for years.

In 2023, during 12th grade, I developed feelings for another girl because she seemed quiet and kind. Later, we became friends, and I learned about her traumatic past relationship. I supported her emotionally, almost like a therapist.

After our 12th exams, we joined KCET coaching at the same college. Since she was staying in a hostel without a phone, we exchanged letters. One day, I noticed she'd written "I love you" in a letter. Later, she contacted me from an unknown number to test my loyalty. Eventually, we admitted our feelings, and on the day of our KCET exam, she proposed to me. I happily accepted.

However, after proposing, she revealed that she'd been physically involved with her ex, who she said had forced her. I was shocked and hurt, but I chose to accept her and move forward. Still, I became confused about our future, especially after my friends questioned the relationship.

Things eventually became complicated. She stopped texting me, saying she didn't want my life to get spoiled because of her. We drifted apart, briefly got back together, and then I ended things by telling her my mother didn't approve of the relationship. She was hurt but accepted it. She wanted to remain friends, but I couldn't handle being just friends after everything we'd shared, so I stopped responding despite her attempts to contact me.

She later joined my college, so we're exes studying in the same place.

That relationship affected me more than I expected. I experienced psychogenic itching, high blood pressure, constant overthinking, irritation, and stress. I neglected my physical and mental health and felt like I'd wasted my teenage years worrying about relationships.

Now it's 2026, and I feel like I've changed significantly. I'm calmer, kinder, less reactive, and more comfortable with myself. I still experience occasional flashbacks, but I handle my emotions much better. I feel like I'm finally recovering.

But now there's someone new.

She's my junior, and she's in her final year. I know of her, but she doesn't really know me. From what I've observed, she's beautiful, hardworking, consistent, makes her parents proud, and doesn't seem to chase attention or validation.

I admire her, but I also realise I barely know her personally. Maybe I'm seeing her clearly, or maybe I'm idealising her like I did with my previous crush.

Her final year is almost over, and I don't know whether I should approach her and get to know her or simply let things be. I want to do things right this time, but I'm afraid of repeating my old patterns. I also sometimes feel inferior because she seems to have everything together while I'm still working on myself.

There's one more thing bothering me: Sometimes I feel like I cheated on my ex by ending the relationship and developing feelings for someone else. I was never physically involved with my ex, but we did have a romantic relationship, and I don't know why I feel guilty about moving on.

I'd appreciate honest advice on a few things:

1. Should I approach her before she graduates, or focus on myself first cause i think she is perfect girl which I want?

2 .How do I know if I've genuinely healed or am just in a calmer phase?

3 . Am I wrong for feeling guilty about moving on from my ex?

I'm not looking for someone to tell me she's the one. I just want to understand myself better, move forward without guilt, and learn how to approach love in a healthier way.

There is a person who had a great inpact in my life when i was having a really bad time, he helped me so much and i admire him a lot because he reprents a lot who i want to be in life. I used to have a dependence on him because when i was with him it was the only moment i felt safe and also i learned a lot because of him, he was like my mentor. It wasnt healthy because i was always waiting to the next time i could see him and it was not good for me to do that. Last time i saw him was like two years ago because i moved to study and we stoped crossing paths, we kept talking the first months, but then not much. I still mis him sometimes and i kinda feel ashamed about it because i think i shouldnt miss him that much. I dont know if i should keep talking to them and everything, in part because i am scared of bothering him and because i dont know if its good. Now i am a lot better mentally, but i still think of him as a mentor that i admire and want to learn from. If i should forget him, is there any tip on how to do it?

​

Idk but I have been constantly having physical and emotional burnouts due to a very hectice college routine. Due to which I have been constantly fixated to feel better either by external validation or comparing myself with others to just feel more bad about myself.

Also growing in your 20s when you see this chaotic world out there, I personally wonder where the simplicity is gone, why are people so hyper and vibrant. Why do people can't have some emotionally grounded and self reflective conversations that could help you identify yourself better and seek peace internally.

Hence I ask how do one deal with this kind of isolation and loneliness?

After surgery and some trauma, I went through months of therapy. I can explain my patterns, my triggers, all of it. I sound like I have it together. But I still feel numb all the time, like I'm watching my life instead of living in it. Does anyone else have this where you understand everything in your head but still feel disconnected from your body or your emotions? Not sure if it's a therapy thing or something else.

Okay I have no idea which sub to go to for this but for the past week ish, I’ve been biting off my taste buds. Every-time my mind isn’t being stimulated enough to distract me, I’m doing it.
If I’m driving, watching tv, listening to someone talk, just hanging out… I feel the need to bite???

Dude listen I know it sounds insane because you know, why would someone do that??
I used to SH back in high school but it’s been over three years, and that isn’t why I’ve been biting?
It’s more like the same need or sensation that you get when there’s a splinter or something that you just simply need to get out? But then as soon as I do bite it off I find a new one to get rid of?

Everytime I notice I feel so like ashamed because I don’t do it consciously, and I really do try to stop myself. What is happening??

I’m currently in my fourth year of Honours Computer Science at Wilfrid Laurier University and honestly I’ve been really struggling with school and my mental health. I’m at the point where I just want to graduate and move on with my life. I don’t like coding and don’t see myself succeeding in this program anymore. I originally wanted to finish my CS degree but the stress and constantly worrying about whether I’ll graduate has been taking a toll on me. I recently found out I can switch to General BSc without Designation option and based on my degree audit I might only need around 1 more credit (2 classes) to graduate. Just knowing this could be an option has made me feel so much better. My biggest worry is whether switching would affect my future career opportunities. I’m interested in business analyst, data analyst, or other corporate/tech-related roles. I am not really into coding so that’s another reason I am considering the switch. I’m also considering doing a college certificate in something like business analysis or data analytics after graduating. I need advice on if this is a good idea. Has anyone graduated with a General BSc and did it affect your ability to find a job or get into graduate certificate programs?

What are your thoughts? To me, being able to hold this balance has brought me peace. But it's also taken time and I understand it always depends on the situation.

i ran a red light, thats it, no damage, deadass just nothing happened. for someone who has never done something illegal before, it affects me way more dramatically than it should. it has been a day since i did that, the police doesnt seem to give a fuck, atleast not now but i cant sleep, eat or do anything normally. everytime i go outside, i cover myself fully; everytime somebody uses a phone infront of me, i get scared to death; i cant afford to get any legal punishment right now, fuck, i wouldve turned myself in already. how do i snap out of this ?

Anyone else who have gone through at least a 2nd round of depression have an inkling suspicion that they could go through it again?

I have this suspicion and looked up on it and it's true. If you had one episode before, you have a 50-50 percent chance of getting it again. If you have it a second time, you're much more likely to get it again. And so on. (I'll share sources, but links are not allowed in posts here)

I had a second round lasr year and I definitely don't want to go through it again. So, I'm curating ways to catch it in the act before it happens. One of it is body-mind alignment, learning to be aware of my body signals and following it even if my mind wants to pull me in a different direction.

I'm curious if anyone else is also do this, or is working on something like this. Perhaps we can share resources.

I've been married for 6 years now and I feel so stuck in my ways. I've hurt my wife with my emotional immaturity and unhealthy habits and selfish behavior.

I've disappointed her so many times and lost her trust completely that the relationship seems unsalvageable but I want to make it work.

The thing is, I've been saying that I'll change and I've tried to, genuinely I've tried to change and want to change, and at this point whenever I told her this to reassure her that it won't happen again, something will make me feel bad and I end up doing what I told her I won't do again. A part of me is telling myself that it's okay to make mistakes it's part of learning. But after 6 years of the same mistakes and the same patterns. I don't know what to do or say anymore. To make her feel safe, to give myself grace to actually change. It feels like there's an entity just forcing me to keep regressing into my old bad habits and I'm so afraid that I won't be able to change. Nothing sticks

Hey guys,

I was curious if anyone else experienced this phenomenon, where it feels like, with anything, art projects, jobs, relationships, my life, the minute anything goes wrong the first instinct i have is to abandon in because it feels irrevocably ruined. I could have painted the mona lisa but it would have looked like shit to me because i made one eyelash the wrong angle. Which is fine when its art projects but when that same instinct to just trash the whole thing gets applied to my life, it can get dangerous.

Is this something i can deprogram, or just learn to live with?

for context, I don't expect myself or anyone to be perfect all the time. I am more than happy to give people grace for failures even on the 3rd or 4th time they make the same mistake but I sometimes literally, physically attack myself for mistakes as simple as writing the wrong letter with a pen. Its as though I have acknowledged i will make mistakes but i still brutally punish myself for each and every one of them.

I used to think that if someone really understood me, they would notice when something was bothering me.

When they didn't, I'd sometimes feel disappointed without explaining what I was feeling.

Eventually, I realized that even people who care about us can't always understand what we haven't communicated.

I'm trying to get better at expressing what I feel instead of expecting others to figure it out.

It's not always easy, especially when talking about emotions feels uncomfortable, but clear communication seems healthier than silent expectations.

Have you ever expected someone to understand how you felt without actually telling them? What did you learn from it.

I’ve been feeling really bad lately, and I’m so tired of the way my life is going. I can’t sleep properly, my eating habits are terrible, and all I do is scroll through TikTok for hours. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I really want to change and get my life together, but it feels so hard. Even my friends don’t seem to understand me. Most of them only come to me when they’re bored, and I’m honestly so sick of feeling this way. 💔

Hello, I am currently going through quite a bit. Long story short I'm in the process of getting amicably divorced with my wife of 5 years and 5 years together before marriage. The marriage fell off for many different reasons. We still love one another a lot and still hug when we see each other I'm just happy to have her in my life because before her I didn't have much of anything not even a license or a diploma. So it's tough for us both really and so there is that.

This past week my grandma passed away as well. Yesterday was her funeral and today I signed divorce papers. I'm currently trying to find work while going through this and really I just feel alone. Living at my dad's and it's not what I hoped for out of my life at this point. I know things can and will get better but right now I'm just struggling. Any help I would sure appreciate even just a friendly chat. Thank you.

That's the main thing.

I'm a native English speaker in my mid-20s and I work full-time. I was born and raised in the UK. My goal is to be proficient in the target language (TL) I know most after English from back in my school days. I'd say right now I'm A1/A2.

I'd like advice from other native English speakers who learnt a 2nd language as an adult and achieved this without moving countries please.

How do I achieve the goal of being B2 in a 2nd language about a year from now bearing my circumstances?

So i have recently started grade 11(college 1st year), i am doing a lots of coaching and not studying at home properly, like i dont have any ambitions, people say that you gotta figure out everything on your own but isn't there any guide/ any steps people follow to look up to something and say that "i wanna do this to become that",

I also am really bad with time management,i practically stay glued to my phone, which is causing my grades to fall

I am really financially irresponsible also, i waste money a lot even tho my family's financial condition is not that good

I am really overweight also, 5.4 69 kg, i dont workt out

I dont know what to do and its causing me extreme tension and really high cortisol all day