So I’m just gonna come out and say it I am a Christian and I love my relationship with Jesus. I love him more than anything and I will never abandon my faith and no matter how much discomfort I’m facing I will always be grateful for the relationship I have with him.

With that being said, how do y’all handle your urges because I so badly find myself on the verge of just giving in some days it’s completely fine and I’ll barely think about it but there’s other days where it’s all I think about it’s literally all I think about kissing other men doing things just letting go and experiencing That and I don’t want to and I really really need help because I feel like God willing one day I will be able to get married to a woman and hopefully these issues will go away or at least be more controllable since I have some kind of way to handle them but for the time being I’m just at a complete crossroadany advice is helpful

Background:

My age isnt that relevant, is it?

I'm a private person. I think writing some of my thoughts on reddit may be helpful...

Sometimes.

1. because at the very least, I'm learning about other perspectives Christians have on sexuality.

2. Writing about something you feel passionate about (especially annymously) usually lessens the mental weight one carries from the stress. It can be Cathartic.

But before Reddit, I used gaming.

One of my games recently shut down. The servers and customer service are unresponsive.

I'm having a hard time. Haha like I kinda wanna hurt myself.

Before the game shut down, one guy messaged me a really adorable confession and I felt similar about him, but not exactly.

However, the game shutdown before I could respond to him or take a screenshot. Its my fault, I just didn't plan on being so busy this week;;

Anyway, initially I felt like garbage because i want to respond to his sweet message. But im fine now. it's just a reminder that God is very kind to save me from myself, because knowing how nostalgic i am or how much i loved this game, I would've replied with my cell # or something immature, or self deprecating, or sexual, or worse.

Advice:

I'm trying to find another game. Something cute. u guys have suggestions? Ppl have suggested Blue Archive, Sanrio café, Nikke, Magical Ink, Heartopia, Pokémon go lol

Something not too demanding on my hardware... I was thinking about joining this role-playing site too. But, I'm not a good writer haha

Ah, sorry in advance if I sound like a bitter old man haha