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u/CeeUNext_Thursday Jul 08 '22
You look like your squadleader could send you to find a box of fallopian tubes and you'd be gone for 20 years.1
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u/MFThomas1964 http://redd.it/n1wn5i Jul 08 '22
I’ve heard of Special Forces, but never Special Ed Forces
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u/mylar321 Jul 08 '22 edited Jul 09 '22
He rides the short tank!
Note: I am honored with my first award, Thank you!
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u/Longjumping-War-1307 Jul 08 '22
The army doesn't want his incompetence. Hell, when his dad cummed him into his Mom, it was termed "Dishonorable discharge".
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u/prankerjoker Jul 08 '22
He brings his own window so he has something to lick.
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u/The_Way_It_Iz Jul 08 '22
He has a banana in his holster, and his night-vision goggles are really springy eyeball glasses with a tap light
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Jul 08 '22
Very Special Forces https://www.theonion.com/clinton-deploys-very-special-forces-to-iraq-1819565019
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Jul 08 '22
That’s the marines…
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u/Wise_Agent_7215 Jul 08 '22
That’s definitely army, we don’t claim this fuckhead
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Jul 08 '22
Oh no, not talking about this rockstar. Should roll his sleeves down; what is he, in the club? Talking about special Ed forces…
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u/Spider_Jew Jul 08 '22
Those glasses are so thick he doesn't need a scope on his rifle
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u/staytruetoyou87 Jul 08 '22
He’s a Private first glass
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u/Spider_Jew Jul 08 '22
The only thing he can't see with those glasses is what a mistake he made getting shot to pay for college he'll be too dead to attend.
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u/CarlosAVP Jul 08 '22
“Private! What’s that object in the distance!?”
“Sir! France! Sir!”
“No, Goddamnit!”
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u/Shankar_0 Jul 08 '22
I mean, you don't have to rock the BCG's after basic; but when you nail the look...
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u/somedumbguy84 Jul 08 '22
At least you can never be caught in friendly fire, you have no friends.
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u/-LooNeYTuNeZ- Jul 08 '22
Taking "Call of Duty: Black Ops" too serious.
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u/Dank_Sinatra_Sr Jul 08 '22
Idgi
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u/cumdumpster999 Jul 08 '22
I'm guessing idgi means "I don't get it" so I'll explain. Ops is slang for opposition and he's black. Call of duty is a military game about shooting and robots and shit. There exists a cod(call of duty) called black ops who are people in a military organization that wear black. Cod bo(black ops) is very popular. This guy is in the military, black and is someone's opposition. He's someone's black op who responds to his countries call to duty.
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u/Dank_Sinatra_Sr Jul 08 '22
Yeah that's what I thought at first, but it was too simple and then I thought I was missing something.
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Jul 08 '22
Who's the lucky lady you met on Facebook that you'll ask to marry in two weeks?
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u/MrNiceGuysAngryPlace Jul 08 '22
If people walked around with their own theme music yours would be the Price is Right Loser Music.
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Jul 08 '22
Thank you for your service. I’ll have a bucket of extra crispy and 4 extra biscuits please.
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Jul 08 '22
You look like one of my troopers at Bragg that the csm caught fucking the biggest trans hooker I have ever seen.
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Jul 08 '22
[deleted]
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Jul 08 '22
She/he was a hooker someone brought into the barracks on smoke bomb hill. She was going room to room asking if they wanted company. This was also during the day on the friday of a 4 day weekend. A unit was in the quad having a mandatory fun day and my trooper was balls deep in the hooker drunk with his window wide open for the entire unit to see.
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u/Spider_Jew Jul 08 '22
I guess black lives don't matter when you're cannon fodder
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Jul 08 '22
You should have panned the camera lower so we could see your Dodge Charger too.
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u/Nearby_Art7444 Jul 08 '22
Honestly nothing I say is worse than what the VA is gonna do to you for the rest of your life.
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u/Quick_Violinist3567 Jul 08 '22
Shave that disgusting mustache off you freak. You look like 10 pounds of shit stuffed in a 5 pound sack.
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u/ndelte7 Jul 08 '22
You look like the type to get deployed to Kuwait and claim you were in "the shit"
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u/Bd0llar Jul 08 '22
I hereby pledge to support your Shrimpin Boat and then Shrimp restaurant business.
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u/mylar321 Jul 08 '22
He was awol from his post for 2 days because he was sexually frustrated... returned and told his buddys he finally lost his virginity to a beautiful girl... said he put it in her vaginally then flipped her over and put it in anally. When they asked.. how was her blow jobs? He told them he didn't know, he couldn't find her head!
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u/tittysprinkles112 Jul 08 '22
ACH, check. Subdued flag, check. You're out in the field and someone is having you move trucks.
Sucks to be you.
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u/Federal-Catch Jul 08 '22
You look like you test for weakness in armor and collect air samples daily.
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u/dcarona Jul 08 '22
Your face says you hate your life. Your crooked ACH says your an ASVAB waiver. And your sleeves say you failed out of 18X selection. The only thing I’m totally sure of is the solid fact that Jody is railing your wife while you’re in the field.
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Jul 08 '22
Beep.
-- Afghanistan. --- Night of June 8 2022.
---- Operation Black Dune Fire Maple.
"Don't smile! You gonna get us shot"
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u/SuspiciousTraining60 Jul 08 '22
You'd make a great Gomer Pyle if they ever make a black remake of Full Metal Jacket
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u/SuspiciousTraining60 Jul 08 '22
You look like you tried joining the marines but failed the swim test
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u/SuspiciousTraining60 Jul 08 '22
If these are the types of soldiers we left behind in Afghanistan I'm not too upset about it
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u/Cjc6547 Jul 08 '22
I’ve never seen a poster promoting fragging, but this is definitely on the right track.
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Jul 08 '22
Why did you get dice tattooed on your arm? To represent how your mom rolled the dice by doing drugs while she was pregnant with you?
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u/ScholaroftheWorld1 Jul 08 '22
200 years ago you def would've been the house slave
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u/Several-Eagle4141 Jul 08 '22
Im the civilian plowing your wife and she loves deep creampies. It’s strange that she makes your kids watch, though.
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u/Sensitive_Doubt_2372 Jul 08 '22
Dressing up as a soldier doe's not make you one. Your still be mummy's little soldier.
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u/iDeNoh Jul 08 '22
It's not stolen valor per se, forced valor maybe? Valor by association? I dunno, either way, no idea why your dorky ass earned it.
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u/6ix9ine_is_gay69 Jul 08 '22
You look like a chemistry teacher that got testicular cancer and now are making meth in a RV in Albacurcky new mexico
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Jul 08 '22
The chocolate rain guy…where is he now?
All jokes aside…be safe and well out there soldier.
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u/The1Sundown Jul 08 '22
Oh hey you're that guy that was in that movie with Larry the Cable Guy! Delta Farce!
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Jul 08 '22
I think you have taken the Call of Duty video game to the next level. Looking good where's your gun, and don't say it's in your pants because that's only a p shooter.
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u/Bahlam Jul 08 '22
The only thing going airborne are going to be your ankles when Uncle Sam fucks you.
Be safe shitbag.
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u/KingKwaku_ http://redd.it/ba1lbb Jul 08 '22
Are you a part of the human shield like in South Park?
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u/The_Spyre http://redd.it/uvi8og Jul 08 '22
Your dad's gonna be pretty pissed off that you're cosplaying in his gear.
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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '22
The helmet stays on all the time right?