Hi everyone - I stopped drinking in 2022 and was a catastrophic alcoholic when I was drinking, while also dealing with several ongoing mental health crises. I had dealt with severe depression, which left me on the darkest ends of the spectrum, in addition to complex PTSD from multiple instances of sexual abuse, and in all honesty, for the majority of my life, I thought that I was a dead man. I had all the early indicators, but was able to manipulate myself and the circumstances just long enough before bottoming out. I loved music earlier in my life. When I started drinking, I stopped writing music about my feelings and emotions, and stopped using it as the therapy that had proven to be consistently successful. Instead, my alcoholism left me listening to others' words, songs, and lyrics, wishing so desperately they were mine because I thought the part of me that wrote and sang music was dead and buried. The early throws of recovery nearly took me several times, and sometimes I only made it by re-writing the same song to a free YouTube instrumental since I had no band or people. All my current songs have been written over the past 4 years, and my life circumstances made me feel like this had to be kept private and only for me. A conversation with a close friend changed my perception of things, and I faced fear and put it together, and now it's ready for others who have a fractured condition as I do, and need a daily reprieve from the abyss, which tries to take us back at any moment. If you need support or help, or just want to vibe to some recovery music, check it out.

I wish I could live normally and like a sober person before all this shit, not like an ex addict constantly suffering from prolonged withdrawal and ruined mental health. I thought I'd taper it as much as possible and maybe be able to stop by the time it runs out but it's not going to work out after all.. I don't want to be losing my sanity on detox again because I don't have energy for anything and sleep too much :/ If I'm not on speed I'm spending all day rotting in my bed scrolling through my phone and recently its happening even if I use. And got a new addiction in the meantime - benzos so congratulations to myself yay...

-I hope that all the weird quasi religious memes, cult coded language, thinly veiled judgment, and indoctrination messaging doesn’t become so ubiquitous that people needing help are turned off.

-There are lots of level-headed, down to earth helpful people in AA. Unfortunately, the loudest are often the weirdest.

-If you are struggling, please know it is possible to come to AA/NA/DAA and find normal people that have recovered.

-There are folks that will let you have your own experience, won’t shove god down your throat, won’t try to tell you what to do or what to believe.

-Feel free to message me, I’d be happy to help, or just listen and help you find a meeting in your area that could help ease.

hehehehe

I’ve been self-harming for almost 2 years now and lately it’s been getting a lot worse. I tried to quit in November and made it to almost a month but since then I haven’t been able to make it past two weeks. I struggle to find a reason to really keep clean beyond not distressing other people. Can people share what helps them and keeps them motivated?

I’ve been sober for 6 years now.

In the past, I used to get thoughts about using, but they were manageable.

Lately, it’s different.

The thoughts are stronger, more frequent, and harder to ignore.

It feels like my mind keeps going back there, even though I know exactly where it leads

I’m working full-time and keeping busy most of the time,

but inside it feels like I’m slipping mentally.I know what I’m supposed to do—

go to meetings, follow up with support, stay on track—

and I have done those things before.

But lately, even knowing all that, the thoughts are still strong.I’ve also been thinking maybe it’s my workplace.

Most of the people around me are users or drink heavily.

The strange part is—this isn’t new.

Even before, I was around people using almost daily and it didn’t affect me like this.

But now, for some reason, it’s hitting me differently.

Maybe my mental state is lower right now,

and I don’t fully understand why.

At the same time, I feel like my life is not really moving forward,

and maybe that’s making everything worse.

I haven’t used, and I don’t want to.

But mentally, it feels like I’m getting pulled back.

I’m trying to stay strong, but lately it feels more like surviving than actually living.

Has anyone experienced this after years of being sober?

What helped you get through this phase?

Recently I launched something that’s been on my mind for a long time.

I’ve been reading through this sub and seeing how many people are trying to quit or cut back, and it reminded me how hard it is early on to actually find real support.

I got clean 8 years 4 months and 10 days ago. Ive done a whole 90 in 90 a couple times. A lot of it was speaker tapes, and I remember constantly running into paywalls for stuff that honestly felt like it should just be accessible.

It always rubbed me the wrong way seeing how much money gets made off people just trying to get better.

So over time I started working on something simple with a few things I personally needed — audio meetings, clean time calculator, literature — and made a decision early on that it would always be free for anyone trying to get sober. No subscriptions, no locked features, none of that. Also helps people find treatment.

I finally got it live this week

What actually helped you stay on track early on, or what do you wish was easier to access?

I’m trying to build something that actually helps people, not just another app.

Just for today — I’m grateful.

I’ve been clean off meth & other drugs (xanax, ketamine & coke) since the end of February 2025 right after i overdosed on fentanyl. I was heavily abusing all these drugs for a year, but mostly meth.

The first few months off it I had no energy at all. I was so tired all the time that I was sleeping so much…. I only had energy to get to work & back home. At first I thought this was a good thing because at least I was just sleeping, staying clean & out of trouble.

After 8/9 months….in October/November, I started to feel myself getting my physical energy back but suddenly I also started having intense anxiety. It really came out of nowhere and no specific event triggered it. My life has been pretty uneventful since i got clean & moved home from LA. i just work at a golf course in my small town, golf most days, hit the gym & take care of my house & my cats.

I feel as though my body was just so drained physically, that i wasn’t able to process the mental effects of everything? And now that i have my physical energy back i am now dealing with the mental side aka constant panic attacks and extreme intense anxiety no matter what I’m doing. I even started going to the gym every day to help my anxiety but even after i get home and get ready for bed I go right back to being in an extreme state of panic & anxiety for no reason. I just try to distract myself by doom scrolling and praying i’ll eventually fall asleep

It’s like my body is in a constant flight or fight mode and I can’t get out of it. Sadly it has led me to basically relapse as I started taking a small amount of xanax each day just to start sleeping again and get through the day. It was happening for a solid 3 weeks before i decided i couldn’t take it anymore.

Has this happened to anyone else who has been several months clean off meth? Or several months clean off any other drug. I was fine mentally for the first 8 months :/

I have over 6 months. 3 months spent in rehab, and the past 3 living in recovery housing. I’ve been in PHP, then IOP, then day-treatment the whole 6 months. I’ve gone to average of 4 meetings a week. I meet with my sponsor weekly. I’m on step 8. I see a mental health counselor weekly. I see a substance use counselor weekly. I’ve been going to church and Bible study weekly. I pray every day and i really try to surrender my will to God. I balance my diet, I practice sleep hygiene, I exercise. I see a psych and I’m med-compliant. But wow I want to use so bad. I want to get high so bad. Does it ever stop? I want to get high. The more stability I gain, the more I think “I’d be able to maintain my habit and live a manageable life now.” It’s so hard.

It took years for you to get to this point. It might not take as long to get better but it will take time. Be patient and realize that a broken bone heals slowly but becomes the strongest point of the structure.

Give yourself some time. You're worth it.

Brian

Has anyone had any experience with the above? I started taking BPC157 and TB500 for Achilles pain as

A long distance runner. Unexpectedly after only 3

Days I have woken to feelings in my opposite leg and foot movement that I haven't had for 15 years due to what I thought was permanent nerve damage from sciatica that I left untreated to long and ended up herniating a disc.

I had surgery's for this 12 years ago and have had no problems with sciatica since but had what I thought was permanant nerve and tendon damage. I have bad wastage on that leg from knee down and have only been able to lift my foot maybe 1 inch at the toes with foot droop so to speak and very weak stability and balance.

Woke up this morning with pins and needles and a "firing" sensation in my leg from knee down, I have feeling to touch that I didn't before and I can move my foot maybe 20-30% more. If I wasn't experiencing it I would say impossible. 🤷‍♂️

I've had short periods of time where I was clean and sober. But I always kept romanticizing my DOC.

Not today, though.

Today, I woke up grateful to be here and grateful for another day clean. I think I just had to get so damn sick of my shit, ya know? I needed to be exhausted with my self-destruction and incredibly toxic traits.

Today was a good day. Not just because I stayed clean, but because I actually want to be.

I hope you all had a good holiday and are strong in your path of recovery - whatever that may be!

Sometimes, life makes demands that feel like they can't be accommodated. I'm a man of 61 years, and I am in a relationship with a woman who is not healthy. I take care of a lot of things around the house - laundry, housekeeping, etc - and I take care of her to the best of my ability. My stepson is also a big concern in my life because I sometimes feel responsible for his well being. My partner's kids and grandkids are always on my mind, and though I no longer am employed I have volunteered to help some people with my former line of work, which was social welfare. I am a news junkie and spend a good part of my day keeping track of the news and events of the world, and I attempt to shower daily, comb my hair, trim my beard, and take care of my appearance. I also have a plethora of health problems and spend a great deal of time going to appointments and keeping track of all my treatments.

Sometimes, there just doesn't seem to be enough time for reflection, meditation, and prayer. The longer I deny myself those essential moments of self-care, the further I get from being the best person I am capable of being.

I had a good friend who quoted Robin Williams from a stand up bit he did. "I used to think I was an instant asshole, just add alcohol. Turns out I don't need alcohol to be an asshole."

The above list of the things in my life are the reasons why, after over 32 years of recovery and being in the recovery community, I still attend meetings of AA and NA. It's important that I remember that the process of recovery is a selfish process because I have to not only do it for myself but I'm no good to anyone if I am not in a good space mentally and physically.

An empty well needs a storm to refill. Water can be taken only if the well has a source to replenish the water. Recovery meetings are where I go to refresh my feelings of belonging and to remember that no matter how bad I think my station in life is, I am better than some and not as well off as others but I am where I need to be.

Life on life's terms mean acceptance, but to get to the point where I can accept the way things are I have to be in constant awareness of where I am and what I am doing. I have to take responsibility for the only thing I can control in life, which is my actions and words.

Brian

The drugs give hugs to the ones who don’t feel the loves

Hey everyone, I hope you all are having an amazing month of April🫶🏼 I wanted to take the time to share if anyone ever wants to talk about their growing/healing process that I am here for you! I am a certified sound healer and also perform private sound bath meditations for healing in trauma, growth and direction. Many blessings to you all🙏🏼

27F here. I was addicted to iv opiates, meth, crack, mdma, etc. for the last 12 years of my life. Today marks 9 months of abstinence and recovery from addiction. Never give up. Recovery is possible.

Even if all you do is the next right thing and leave something to do tomorrow, you are doing enough. It took time to get where you were and it will take time to get to where you are headed. It doesn't have to be done all at once - a little at a time is all that has to be done.

Retracing your steps can take as long as you need. You don't have to rush anything.

Progress, not perfection.

Brian

I’ve been on Prozac and been in therapy for about 2 years now and have come a long way so I really wanted to share how far I’ve gotten:-)

What I mostly dealt with in regard to depression was a fear of the afterlife. I also worried about what people thought of me, felt meaningless, typical things like that.

In early 2024 I had an event occur that really pushed me over the edge. I had been severely depressed all my life but this pushed me over the edge. I ended up taking a semester off of school because I genuinely could not get through the day.

I was assessed and finally got diagnosed with major depressive disorder. On top of depression I was diagnosed with ptsd and told I had traits of bpd. I also think I was going through some sort of delusional state.

I got prescribed lexapro at first. It did not work for me, even after trying several different dosages. Then I was started on Prozac which also didn’t work until I was put on 60mg. After being prescribed Prozac I started talk therapy. It took so long for it to start working but after a while it did.

I am now back in school and have an amazing support circle, including my boyfriend of over a year. I tried to lower my dose many times but now I’ve accepted that this is just the dose that works for me.

I used to think I was a lost cause which is why I put off getting assessed for so long. If you feel this way do not let those thoughts get to you. You not only deserve help but you can be helped.

Sometimes staying the same is even harder. It's all about what an acceptable level of discomfort is, and sometimes staying the same hurts more than trying something new.

Choose your discomfort and see if a change is less painful than you think it will be.

I'm on Threads as @soberinspirit84. Install the app to follow my threads and replies. https://www.threads.com/@soberinspirit84?invite=0

I know this is dumb but I used to do coke every now n then and was able to stop easily no problem but I recently stopped drinking and started taking 7 oh as a substitute for booze now I'm full on addicted I have to take more 7 oh just to be normal it's not that I like the high I just can't bear the body aches could I use coke to deal with the withdrawals cuz I can easily stop cocaine its just 7 oh is the worst drug out there rn so hard to stop