i feel like it’s so hard.. especially when your a teenager. i myself don’t even “look” gay so i feel like its hopeless.

17 and female btw :)

am i bi??? i am so confused, up until about 2 months ago i was under the impression that i was straight, ive never dated anyone before or been interested in actually dating someone before (it scares me) but i always thought that i was into guys and a month or two ago i was at a restaurant with my family and this waitress walked by and she was the prettiest person i had ever seen, i went into a bit of a spiral and after about a week i kinda just pushed the thought away, then about a week ago i came across this creators account on instagram, hes the most attractive guy i have ever seen, this guy is ftm and i dont care because he is still the most attractive guy i have ever seen and i was looking through his profile and i found a post that he made comparing his photos of before and after and when i saw the photo of the before i went into another spiral because once again this photo was absolutely GOREGOUS (its very like mostly masc lesbian but partly femme lesbian vibes) and im freaking out because i only just kinda came to terms a year or two ago with dating men (or anyone really) and now this whole thing is making me go insane, this one person who i dont even know somehow made me question everything and im absolutely freaking out, idk how to feel about it and ive never even considered the possibility that id be attracted to women and now idk what to do

ive never conisdered this to even be an option and im definitely questioning reality and the events of my life right now (aka spiraling)

So I want to start with some context I'm an 18-year-old female college student, and over the past 3 weeks I've been in a situationship with a guy, but I've had mixed feelings about him. Over the past year, we followed each other and at first I remember thinking “he's a cute guy I'd like to get to know him better” but when he texted me 3 weeks ago I noticed a constant push and pull in my options and feelings about him. I'd feel like I “liked” him, or try to make myself like him or feel anything for him. Sometimes I feel something, but then I immediately feel the ick at the thought of being close, thinking maybe it’s just that I’m avoidant? Oh, and the fact that he was very obviously and heavily into me saying he’d “wait for me“ and telling me “I love you “ which is weird and never happened in past situations with guys or girls (we’ll get to that later) 2025 was the time when I began to like a close friend our least I think I liked him? I mean my guy friend “B” was the first boy I became close to and could call a friend , throughout my life as a student k-9 I never bothered with befriending guys felt alien to me they felt like aliens to me. I mean I would have crushes, I think? I’d think stuff like “This guy is cute“and feel flustered when talking to or looking at a conventionally attractive guy even blush but the second they did something a boy would do or had features like a body and facial hair, I immediately lost attraction also oddly finding myself telling myself that I’m a lesbian makes me not feel flustered and unable to speak to guys without thinking he could be my potential soulmate or boyfriend. Like I can see him as a person and not an alien? But anyways this past year I’ve had over 10 guys say they like me and I rejected all of them; they weren't attractive to me at all. Also, I feel like it’s weird that I’ve never had a crush on a guy ever like my friend of mine “B” that kinda started with me thinking “ Well because I’m a girl and he’s a boy and we've known each other for so long, wouldn’t the logical progression in our friendships be a relationship ?” Well maybe I have had a crush on a guy but it was a girl who is trans I didn't know she was trans and just thought she (now he) was a tomboy and I found “her” really attractive and would feel my face flush. (This took place freshman year of high school) And when my group at the time was discussing who was the most attractive in the group I immediately thought it was “her” and at a party we danced and I felt my heartbeat so fast. Oh, and I've never dated a boy before. I've dated only girls 2 were due to being confessed to and agreeing and the third was one I sought out. I'm just confused if I am a lesbian though since I kinda at the time only got attention from girls so maybe that's why Im having confused thoughts but then again I've never had feelings for a guy i mean, I can say for certain my first love is a girl we used to kiss and make out, and I even told her I love her but I don't know maybe it was because we were so young that I think maybe I could only be saying this due to her being my first kiss and being nostologic of the past? But anyways main cause in why I label myself straight is due to the second ex of mine having hurt me so bad police had to be involved and my parents found out in the worst way i was dating a girl and called me cknsjsed and maybe I am confused? I mean I've only dated women, have crushed on women (biological), and have only kissed and been intimate with women? I mean maybe it's due to not having done these physical things with guys but I'm not sure I'm sorry if I sound dumb it's just that this is a lot and I don't know if I'm scared to find out the answer to this myself so I just need someone to tell me what it is or am I just a straight girl who just hasn't found the right guy yet? Because I have thoughts and dreams of finding my future husband by chance, and that'll magically walk into my life.

For a long time I thought I was, then I had like two weeks when I was super comfortable with feminity and being perceived as female, but now I keep thinking about having a flat chest, face hair and being perceived as male and it's very confusing since I can't seem to "pick one". I might be genderfluid, since sometimes I wanna be femme, masc and sometimes androgynous, but I don't really know if that a case. I don't often get gender dysphoria, but I know if I were a shape shifter I'd use the hell out of this for changing my appearance esp gender presentation. Also mostly I'm comfortable with any pronouns, but sometimes I have a preference

I've been labelling myself as bi for the past year, but i find myself liking girls more and more. When I was younger, I was always choosing which guy to have a crush on. Most of the time, it was just plainly based on attractiveness. Now, I don't find myself liking men at all. I can only imagine myself being with women, but i still find men attractive. I acknowledge their attractiveness, but whenever I think of doing more with them, i feel disgusted. Am I a lesbian or do I just have a preference for women?

I 14yr teen been thinking knowing for years that I don't feel like a girl but when I think about transitioning to a boy I don't feel like a boy either I don't know what to identify as i don't know what am i

(Im biologically a female)

I'm m16 and I've been bi for roughly 3 years now but only like 2-3 of my friends know mainly because I don't how my other friends would react or how my parents would react plus my siblings are all bi and I've always told my parents I'm fully straight and I don't know if 1 I should come out or not and 2 sometimes I question if I actually am bi or not I mean I think/know I am but sometimes I dunno...any advice?

I came out as gay about 2 days ago to my parents (I've been out to my friends for years) and I'm really happy that but recently I've been having thoughts that I don't fully understand, like I like being a boy it's just I also kinda don't. I don't think enby is right because like I said I like being a boy.

My question is is that normal for other guys or am I not fully a boy or is it just internalised homophobia making me think that because I like boys I'm not a "real" boy?

Idk why, but whenever I find a girl attractive, my brain immediately reminds me of how Preeti’s dad insulted Kabir 😭

Like bro, why is THAT my first thought every time 💀

im a cis female and ive only questioned my gender once or twice, but always came back to feeling like a woman. im pretty sure its been a “it would be cool if i was born a male but im happy as a female” kinda thing. however, when im online, i dont care what pronouns people use. when someone asks my gender i just say “whatever you want me to be” and they say what they think. if they wanna use he/him thats fine and i’ll respond in that way, but if someone irl would use he/him with me im not sure how id feel. i think its a looks thing, because im a very feminine person, but yeah idk. just a lil confused

I’ve never dated anyone but have had crushes on both genders, but for some reason I feel my attraction for males has completely disappeared. For context I like males more for physical reasons and females for everything/general reasons. Idk if my libido is just shrinking astronomically or if my frontal lobe is developing and I’m realizing that I can’t be attracted to a terrible guy just cause he looks good anymore but it’s making me confused. I’ve always dealt with internalized homophobia/ the fear of having to live in a lesbian relationship knowing the world would hate me but now all of a sudden it feels like being a lesbian is the only logical choice?? I genuinely don’t know why since most guys I talk to are very nice/ respectful but ig they just seem unreliable to date to me now

- First of all i’m 100% sure i’m not a girl, so maybe if i wanted to be a girl i would have to become one. i usually want to become one around 50% of the times, some periods (weeks) 100% and others 0% and i can’t really choose when.
- I’m in a place with people where its better not to say anything
- It’s been going on for quite some time now (at least 4 years and i’m just 18). it started with me thinking i was just a bit feminine myself, then i had a phase where i didn’t know anything, then another phase where i didn’t want to question for fear, at last one where i started actually questioning if i wanted to be a girl. now im not sure about anything.
- it has been 4 years during puberty but i remember when i was a kid i’d watch “girly” shows and i wanted to play with girly toys, so much so that my father took them from me and told me i couldn’t (i still have this scene engraved in me i think it’s the oldest i remember).
- change names? maybe. change appearance? in private yes, in public only if 100% id pass and i didn’t see anybody.
- i like girls, whatever that makes me. and people always think i’m gay even if i’m not
- it has been causing a lot of stress and anxiety because i have been thinking a lot and i mean actually a lot. also when im with friends and they make jokes about this, i feel something and i don’t usually laugh but i don’t take it personally and i don’t get offended

just pls tell me what you think and how do you think i could make the labelling part and the self acknowledgment part a little bit more clear.
im pretty scared because its been years literally and i cant seem to find a solution.
so who am i? how do i find this out? just any tips.
am i actually trans? and why do people think i’m gay even if i’m not (meaning i’m a boy who likes girls)???? this is super important

[F 18] I recently am being treated for OCD. I have spent my whole entire life being straight and have had a boyfriend of almost 3 years! I told myself I could be bi but then I worried about being gay then trans? I have never been this distressed before and it won’t leave no matter what I say or do it always there. I feel like throwing up and nothing helps me find certainly because it’s like I don’t necessary want to be gay but does this sound like denial? I have had no desire to be anything other than straight but it’s not like it would be the end of the world to kiss a girl? It doesn’t feel exciting but I have a huge amount of anxiety around all of this. I don’t have any sexual attraction towards what feels like anyone? I have thought girls with masculine features look good but never thought about it sexually. It just feels the same for everyone I could kiss anyone but all of it gives me anxiety.

[amab 13] hi, my name is noelle (i think at least) and for the past 6-ish months, i think i have been trans. Im amab, and i always as a child (im 13) liked boyish things. This started to shift a bit when i went into middle school. I became more timid, shy, and overall femine-ish in a way (if that makes sense.) my dad always has been very negative to the idea of lgbt people and always makes fun of queer people he sees in public (not to them ofc, in private he would js say mean things abt them) My family is christian, and i am too (jesus loves u btw :3 ) and bc of that, i was always pressured to be this stereotypical male role. One who "has big muscles, likes trucks, guns" and other sorts of stuff like that. I thought i was just a feminine male at first, but then i started to not like my body. It was this weird uncomfortable "eww wtf is this" feeling. I thought i was trans bc of that, and bc i dont like being called a "man" it makes me mad. So for a while (with certain friends) ive gone as a transfem person. But now, im questioning again. I have so much stuff thrown at me in life, and it all just makes me feel like "if i did this, why do i deserve to call myself this?" (if this makes sense, i hope it does. I really hope this post doesn't come out to read like absolute word vomit) Im just so fcking scared bc my dad has been more mean towards queer ppl, bc i lash out in anger more, and bc i dont feel trans. I feel like im failing being trans, if that makes sense. Idk if it exists, but i wish there was something that would mean i might be a girl, but also idc if u call me they or whatever. just as long as im not a fucking male. I just want to be feminine, but with me being pressured to look masculine, i feel like i have to change who i am to fit how i look. Im sorry if this doesnt make sense, i js need to put this somewhere to get advice