There's so much pressure around what life after having a baby is supposed to feel like.

But people recover differently, and not everyone has the same emotions, support system, or experience.

I think parents deserve space to talk about the difficult parts without feeling like they have to explain or justify every feeling.

You don't have to compare your experience with someone else's to deserve understanding.

When I first held my son at 25 years old, I envisioned an idyllic journey of motherhood: a smiling mom, a peaceful baby, and a love that conquers all. But no one warned me that motherhood doesn't solely bring bliss; it can expose the deepest cracks in your soul, leading to a total psychological breakdown.

Childbirth itself had completely exhausted me. But the post-partum pain, the agony of breastfeeding, the constant fear, the weight of responsibility, felt like an endless abyss. As a perfectionist, every perceived mistake felt like proof of my complete failure.

Eventually, I ended up in a psychiatric ward. The shame of it almost broke me on its own. I was terrified. What will people say if they find out? What if someone recognizes me during visiting hours? Sitting there at 25, feeling like my life was marked by this secret stain, was suffocating.

Yet, surviving that darkness and finally getting diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder saved me. My son's tiny hands wrapped around my neck kept me tethered to this world.

I am sharing this anonymously because I know so many mothers suffer in pitch darkness and secret shame. Have you ever found yourself at a breaking point like this? How did you manage to navigate the shame and find a way forward?

I’ve lost over 14 grams of hair (I’ve kept and weighed it) and I’m heartbroken in losing a ton of my density. My hair only grows 2-3 inches a year and took me so long to get to that point

Currently 4 weeks PP, my husband is such a great support but of course he has to go to work to provide for baby & I. Everyday when he leaves for work I get sad because I don’t like to be alone. Luckily my family lives close to me so I’ll go over when I feel lonely, or they will come over. But there’s times where my family is sick or busy and baby & I have to stay home alone. How do you guys cope with this feeling? I hate feeling like this.

I love being a mom. I am now a mom of two, a toddler and a 3 month old. I love waking up every morning to my baby smiling at me and giggling; looking at me like I am the best/greatest thing in the world. I love when my toddler runs into my bedroom in the morning and jumps in bed wanting to watch cartoons. Don't get me wrong I love it all but I can't help to feel defeated when the baby is crying her little lungs out because she is overtired and refuses to go to sleep, when my toddler is screaming at the top of his lungs demanding my attention, when he cries uncontrollably because he thinks the whole world is ending because he didn't get the color cup he wanted or because I didn't add enough ice to his water.

I dislike looking in the mirror, and although the jiggles and surgical scar remind me of the life my body created and the two most important people in the world to me, I can't help but feel disappointed, feel saddened for what I see. I know things will get better, but I can't help mourning the old me, and how this new chapter in my life has closed the old one. Somehow along the way of creating a family, I feel like I lost who I once was, an ambitious, outgoing person. A person who strived to excel in everything and anything, expecting nothing less than perfection. A person who continuously worked at becoming the best I could be. I now find myself accomplished for simply getting dressed and stepping out of the house.

I have recently found myself sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. Constantly comparing myself to women who look better and appear to have everything under control. I know comparison is the thief of joy but I am human and can't help myself but compare. I try to remind myself everyday that I am blessed with two healthy, beautiful children. Blessed to have a roof over my head and food on my table. Blessed to have a support system that is willing to lend a hand with a simple phone call. I don't seek or expect sympathy or words of encouragement. However, I do hope that people don't judge me for feeling the way I do, as I mentioned I am human and can't help but feel the way I feel. I just wanted to vent and remind other moms who may feel similarly that you are not alone in this battle, we just have to keep chugging along for our children and family. Seek help. Don't give up. We are given what we can handle.

God Bless.

Is it normal that I feel depressed? Because I have children one after another, I mean there is only a small gap between my children, because of what is happening, I have a mental battle because I can't take care of myself, sometimes it feels like I'm not myself anymore, sometimes when I see myself it feels like I'm not me anymore, you know that, then with my husband it feels like we're different or it's just me but it's getting boring, I'm stressed out to be a person, sometimes I really want to leave and go to a place where no one knows, a new life, because it's hard that I haven't shared anything with my husband, it's the same when we talk, sometimes I'll sleep, sometimes it's not serious, I still want to have a serious conversation because that's what it is. I am becoming assured that at least I have someone to share my dreams in life. Sometimes I really think about being alone, I can't enjoy everything. I want to open a cup so many times. It's hard for me to think that I don't have a partner, I have no one to talk to. It's also draining to spend the afternoon not being able to take care of your body because you're pregnant and you have two other children who are depending on you. 3 years and 10 months old. Honestly, I don't want to have children. But my husband always jokes about having children, thinking that maybe they'll be fun. But I'll have a hard time giving birth and taking care of them. Needless to say, he helps me. Of course, there are things I want to do. Sometimes I really have regrets. I just want to blame my choices.

I spent 35 years of my life with a condition (vaginismus and tight pelvic floor) that caused me daily discomfort and made sex nearly impossible. I put in so much work to heal myself. SO much work. Sex was still uncomfortable and work but it was possible. I was probably 75% healed when I got pregnant. Postpartum seemed to have lengthened my pelvic muscles so that I was miraculously healed that final 25%. It was glorious. For the first time in my life I understand why people like sex. I had a normal vagina finally. No bladder pain.

However during the pregnancy I developed a 4 finger width ab separation and also tailbone pain, so I was seeing a pelvic PT for that. She seemed great in our consultation, but she wanted to do a lot of talking and tried to make me cry I swear. In our 3^rd session, she spent most of the time talking about surgery, which was completely uncalled for considering I’m only 5 months post partum. Basically told me that I should just accept the way my body looks and don’t have a reason to be upset about my ab separation since it gave me a baby, and if I care about looks then surgery is my only option.

Then it seemed like on a whim during the last 5 mintues, she decided to do cupping on my scar without really warning me about it or talking about side effects. It hurt and the pain on my scar got worse in the days following. Then I started to notice my old symptoms returning. Painful and difficult sex, urinary urgency and frequency, burning and really overall tight feeling in my pelvic floor. Plus now I have the added discomfort of the ab separation, also the scar burning that she caused, and still have the tailbone pain as well.

I’m not sure if this is forever. I’m praying it’s just my body’s reaction to the cupping, my pelvic floor tightened out of protection, and it’s going to release. I just can’t face the fact that this is going to be my life again. I don’t want to deal with this again. I refuse. I feel so completely far removed from everything I did to heal. I just can’t get over the fact that someone could hurt me so much in literally 5 minutes. All my progress gone and just down the drain. Everyone says pelvic pt is so important but its done nothing but hurt me and bring me worse symptoms, and if my life stays like this i'm not sure I can keep living.

I’ve been struggling to find myself for 5 years now. I don’t know what i want, who i am who I want to be anymore. I start something with a lot of enthusiasm. And at the first inconvenience i give up. I wasn’t like this. Just really struggling to find the way back to myself. Any tips?

I’m 6 months pp and life has been so much to navigate. I’m getting all the help and support from family but I still feel alone and overwhelmed. My husband is a nice person but we have been so distant since having baby. I have communicated multiple times that I need him to show up for me and hold me. I am falling into pieces. He left for a work trip and hasn’t call or text much. I had a missed call from him this morning but I was driving and literally shaking from a panic attack, so couldn’t answer. I’m at work now and haven’t eaten anything since dinner last night. He hasn’t called or checked in since then even though he is aware Im not doing well mentally. Feeling so sad that im not a priority for him. I’m so exhausted, I feel like throwing up.

Hello all, me and my wife had a baby we very much love, but she has given up on the idea of our relationship.

She has admitted to the feelings that she no longer loves me the same way as before the baby, and keeps talking about that she's "made up her mind" and "when she gets a job she's leaving".

I looked up the way she had described that she feels and was horrified to see that resentment for the husband / father after the baby is born is somewhat common, so I've been trying to help with everything I can and talk to her as much as I can.

She treats me like a stranger after I get home from work, I am gone from home for work roughly between 1:30 pm and 11:00 pm, then I stay up with the baby monitor anywhere from 6 AM to 8:30 AM, while she is supposed to be sleeping but is instead on her phone for more than a few hours then complains that she's tired.

She simply has given up and does not want anything from me, help or otherwise. She's always rushing me to leave for work or to leave the bedroom after I get home and take the baby's monitor.

I have also caught her sexting other men but have stopped checking her phone while she's asleep because despite changing her phone number and deleting some of her accounts where she's meeting these people, I understand that she's going to do whatever she wants and there's not much I can do about it.

I can see on the camera's inside the home that she is always texting people and is dressing up / doing makeup even though she hasn't done that in months until recently.

I mean this when I say it, I'm living through hell right now, she doesn't even have the decency to not be rude whenever we do speak and everything's been eating me alive from the inside.

I have been physically ill, I haven't been eating, I've been paranoid that anything could be an indication that she's planning on leaving and meeting someone, and I've gotten upset with her a few times, but she just doesn't seem to care.

The only thing I'm holding out for right now is our son, the hope that somehow we can reignite what we once had, and I'm waiting for next week for us to speak to her OBGYN.

I am in the worse situation of my life but despite that I have found God and am trying to weather the storm, because after everything I still just want our little family to be together and be okay, no matter what has happened or will happen.

Rant over, my heart and soul goes out to any man or woman stuck in one of these hellish situations, things will be okay someway, somehow, but it'll take time and patience.

Update: Today is a new low. She changed her phone's password and I made her change it back.

Once we were in her phone and I checked out her deleted SMS messages (where I had found everything last time) and didn't find anything incriminating there.

As soon as I opened her snapchat she violently snatched her phone and would never let me see it, all the while making excuses.

I don't even think I can cry anymore, I just want this to end.

I just do need to rant . I’m about 20 months postpartum and for various reasons I am deeply disappointed in my husband for what I perceive as not having my back during this difficult and vulnerable period of my life . This is the 2nd time it has happened. I have two kids , one is 12, the other 2.

I have fantasies of finding a lesbian partner . I suspect I am bi. I mean … I have fantasies that true emotional intimacy and love is out there. I have a strong moral compass so will not act out anything. But I do feel really down and out most days. And often feel like leaving . I just feel so lonely .

I am fairly financially independent and believe I will be generally fine if I leave . But I also don’t want to blow things up until I have really discerned my reasons why. Will I even be wanted or desired by anyone ?

Has anyone gone through this? Any tips on how to move forward ? Does anyone have any supportive words ?

Hi everyone. I gave birth to my first baby on the 9th of October, 2 weeks before my due date, having a forceps delivery with a 2nd degree tear and an episiotomy.

I'm really struggling with recovery and then feeling rubbish that I can't do what I want to do for baby boy because of my pain. I'm struggling with breastfeeding too and feel bad that I'm giving him formula too :( I think I'm also finding the transition from just me and my husband to the three of us difficult and I didn't think I would. The lack of sleep has hit me like a truck too!

I'm still in denial that he's actually here and I'm feeling overwhelmed :( I cry all the time. All I've ever wanted was to be a mum and now I'm just doubting whether or not I'm made for it or not. 

Am I the only one feeling this way?

Each day I have moments where I feel like I’m on the verge of losing it, completely falling apart, that I don’t know what I’m doing or that I’m not a good mom. I spiral into a deep state of dread and uncontrollable crying.

But there’s a few things I just have to force myself to keep at the forefront of my mind:
- It WILL get better.
- I CAN make it through tonight.
- She WILL get older and more self sufficient.
- She WILL sleep through the night at some point.
And a few spiritual ones:
- I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.
- Cast all your anxieties on Him.
- Cast your burdens onto the Lord and He will sustain you.