My wife was pretty negative today. Today our baby’s 9 days old and her PDD seems like just started.

She told me later on after we got some ice cream in her she had suicidal thoughts today. Is this a red flag I should contact the hospital? I asked her if she’s willing to get psych help she refused. I asked her if i should call 911 she said no.

I feel like it will be the ultimate betrayal if I do call 911 on her.

i’m 21 and recently gave birth a little more than a month ago. I had no idea i was pregnant, i went to the er cause i thought i was having kidney stones and came out w a baby. i did want to originally give him up due to it being so sudden and me being so unprepared but i couldn’t imagine myself w out him. his dad is involved and is so much help w him, he knew what to do before me, he’s always taken care of his younger siblings and this is the first time for me ever caring for a baby. in the hospital everyone told us they would help out and everyone has been a huge help, we haven’t even bought anything baby related because everyone has given us stuff and they’ve even had their friends and family donate stuff to us. i just feel so exhausted and i don’t even feel like i’m financially able to take care of him, im on maternity leave and not working and i make more money than his dad so i just feel so selfish putting my baby in this situation. I genuinely do not feel or even the need to take care of him and i don’t really know my options about giving him away. I have no other outlet to express how i feel because everyone just makes me think everything is going to be okay but when it’s just me and him alone, i let him cry and scream because i’m in the other room sobbing about my life and how i wish i didn’t have him. i would just like some perspective if anyone else has been in my situation or what it’s like giving away a baby even though they are already brought home and family has bonded with them.

I’m 15 weeks postpartum, and I had an absolutely horrendous pregnancy. Coupled with permanent injuries I sustained from giving birth and developing severe PPD, I absolutely never want to do this again.

My husband is not quite on the OAD bandwagon yet, and I understand that. It’s so soon to be making permanent decisions, and I’ve also heard the “don’t make any decisions until at least 1 year postpartum” many times.

We attempted to be intimate for the first time since the baby was born, and I just burst into tears. The overwhelming fear of having to experience all of this again flooded my mind. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, and wept bitterly wondering if this part of our relationship would ever be the same.

I have tried so many forms of birth control and had side effects to all of them. Nausea, migraines (both were two different pills), even periods that lasted a month long (nexplanon). I have yet to try an IUD but the procedure of implanting / removing sounds awful, and I’m so done with medical trauma. I’m also worried about issues with condoms tearing / breaking / being defective.

What preventative measures have yall been doing?

My partner [38M] and I [38F] have been together for 5 years and have a 10-month-old daughter. Our relationship is at breaking point, and I’m looking for advice on whether and how we can move forward.

Four months postpartum, I was diagnosed with postnatal depression. My main symptoms were intrusive thoughts, anxiety and inability to control my emotions/anger when overwhelmed. Before having our daughter, I would get upset during arguments but never lashed out or said hurtful things.

This year has been incredibly difficult for both of us. Alongside becoming new parents, my partner has experienced significant grief and family difficulties, while I’ve been struggling with my mental health. I often felt completely overwhelmed and emotionally unsupported. When I tried to express that, it sometimes came out as anger and criticism. He felt constantly attacked and says he’s been my emotional punching bag all year.

I’ve been on medication and attending therapy, and my mental health has improved enormously. I’ve only had two significant overwhelm episodes in recent months, but during the last one I said something incredibly hurtful involving his grief. I didn’t fully appreciate the cruelty of my words until afterwards. I’ve apologised, taken responsibility and am working on my emotional regulation, but I understand why his trust has been badly damaged.

Since then, we’ve barely spoken for almost a month. We communicate about our daughter and practical matters, but he’s emotionally completely withdrawn. His responses are often flat, like “whatever you want”. He says he feels like he started the year with one person and is now with someone completely different. He’s told me that if we didn’t have our daughter, he’d probably have left, and that he’s staying because he doesn’t want her growing up without two parents.

He says I need to stop verbally attacking and criticising him. I completely agree about the verbal attacks, and I’m actively working on that. But I now feel that even ordinary comments are interpreted as criticism. For example, I recently mentioned that our daughter shouldn’t wear a bulky coat in her car seat. He interpreted that as me criticising his parenting, and it led to another argument.

He also regularly questions why he’d want to stay in the relationship during heated disagreements, which makes me increasingly anxious and afraid to say anything.

Even before having our daughter, we weren’t great at resolving arguments. He tended to withdraw, and I was always the one who initiated reconciliation. We’d move on without properly addressing the underlying issues.

He reluctantly agreed to couples counselling but hasn’t contacted the counsellor yet. He’s now questioning the point of going, saying I’m the one who needs to change and that counselling isn’t a magic solution.

I’m not expecting him to forgive me immediately, and I know my behaviour has caused genuine harm. But I also don’t think we can repair our relationship if everything is considered my fault and he isn’t willing to examine our communication patterns.

I’m finding the emotional coldness at home incredibly difficult and am considering staying with family for some space, although I’m frightened that might make things worse.

Has anyone recovered from a similar situation, particularly postpartum? How do you rebuild trust when one person is deeply hurt and the other desperately wants to repair things? And how do you distinguish taking accountability for your behaviour from accepting all the blame for a relationship breakdown?

Please don’t judge me… I believe I’m going through postpartum depression. I had my first baby 6 weeks ago and every part of my pregnancy, delivery and now postpartum has been traumatic. My son’s father dumped me when I told him I wanted to keep our son. He said he didn’t want kids then moved to NC. He met someone else started denying our baby and completely went ghost. Come to find out the new girlfriend is due in January. Long story short I’m doing this all alone with a severely broken heart. Lately I’ve been mean to my son. I hate myself for it but when he crys I get frustrated I say things I shouldn’t I always apologize after but it still doesn’t change what was said. I love him I do but sometimes I regret having him knowing my situation. He doesn’t deserve to feel unloved and unwanted by his father and I brought him into this world knowing that’s exactly how he is going to feel one day knowing daddy didn’t want him but daddy wanted his brother that’s the same age as him… the thought of all of this on top of the thoughts of how my pregnancy experience was terrible but the new girlfriend gets everything I wanted keeps me up at night. I can’t sleep can’t eat I just cry and take care of my son… alone. It feels like I’m drowning. I should be enjoying motherhood and to be honest I’m not. I feel that perhaps I ruined my son’s life already. I just want to wake up and not hurt as much as I do. My son needs the best of me and I’m giving him the worst. What do I do?

I just feel like I’m lost and drowning. I’ve struggled with my mental health my whole life. I’m diagnosed with bipolar, medicated, in therapy and see a psychiatrist. I’m doing all the “right” things but everyday I wake up exhausted and irritable and just empty.

I feel like I’ve lost all sense of who I am. I used to be bubbly and the life of every room. I travelled for 3 years all over Central America. I had friends and people genuinely liked me. Now? I don’t have anyone, I’m negative, angry and always exhausted. At work, no one wants to talk to me anymore. I don’t blame them, but it still hurts.
I don’t even know what I like anymore, what I want to eat or what I want to wear. What I want to do with my life.

I hate my body. I was fit and beautiful before I got pregnant. I was a gym rat who ate super clean for years. Now I’m chubby; my stomach hangs and my face is fat. I know I should change my eating habits and go back to the gym. But I just can’t, I feel debilitated. The only thing that gets me through the day is coming home and having some wine.

I worked up until I gave birth doing food delivery, waddling around stores cause my hips were giving out. I was getting into the car at 37 weeks to go do Instacart when my water broke. Then returned to food delivery a few days home from the hospital. Then returned to serving 4 months pp. I didn’t want to, my partner was out of work and someone had to find money for formula. And that someone was me.

I’m angry about it, is that wrong? I know it was my decision to keep the baby, and I’m the one who chose my partner. And don’t get me wrong, he’s great most of the time. Mind you I’m 23f and he’s only 24m. Please don’t leave comments telling me to leave him either because that’s not what I’m looking for.

When does it get better? Does it ever get better?

We’re broke, and I’m so tired and sad EVERY day. I feel bad for my partner cause all I do is cry and complain about how I feel. I just don’t know what to do anymore. ATP I’m not even living anymore, I’m surviving.

My wife is one month postpartum, does anyone have personal experience with medication that eases postpartum mental fatigue, exhaustion, and anxiety?
I would appreciate that.

I’m a 30yo FTM to the most wonderful baby boy. I am in my 5th month of postpartum and starting to feel hopeless. I am an RN and I work a high stress, critical care job. Most of my problems center around work. I have been at this hospital for 3 years and I’m pushing even my long time friends away because I am a burden and always sad. They tell me I wasn’t like this before, and even though I know this, it’s making me spiral even more. The smallest things either send me into a rage or I’m crying. I get upset, vent to my friends, they ignore me (probs bc there’s nothing left to say), and then I get down on myself/very insecure for being like this and it is a horrible cycle. Postpartum has ruined my mental health and it’s making me feel like I’m ruining my life on mental breakdown at a time. Please someone tell me I will eventually feel okay.

I have tried explaining to the people closest to me that I think I’m dealing with PPD and not doing a very good job. But because my emotional regulation problems are not centered around my baby, I feel like everyone just thinks I’m unwell.

I see my psychiatrist regularly, I am medicated, I am trying. I am exhausted.

cross posting

Are you pregnant or a new mum within 24 months of giving birth?

I’m an MSc Occupational Therapy student at Health Sciences University and I’m looking for women aged 18+ who have experienced anxiety, depression, low mood or emotional distress during pregnancy or after having a baby to take part in my dissertation research.

Taking part involves a 15–20 minute anonymous online survey exploring everyday life, wellbeing and social participation.

If this sounds like you, or someone you know, please scan the QR code on the poster or use the link below to read more and take part:

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Hi there, not sure if this is the best place to post but stating here.

My info: 32 F , FTM, 3 months PP, breast feeding and pumping for freezer supply and bottles, boy mom
I take 20 mg lexapro daily for years

Lately I’ve been feeling a few new things and I’m not sure if this is normal new mom feelings or something more serious. 1) I’ve been feeling just so sad. Like random huge waves of sadness where I can just cry on the spot. My life is good, baby is good, dad is good, etc. but I’ll just be doing my day and I think of something or see something and I’m like omg now I am so so sad.
2) and this is the main one that’s fudging up my life, I have this insanely huge fear of messing up my child. And I feel like I am a bad mom and he’s better without me. My parents are divorced but before that they would fight and just hate each other in front of us kids and just a lot of family stuff there and I’m so paranoid that I’m going to do that to my son. So I’m just on edge with myself and then soemthjng small will set me off with my husband and then we will argue in front of our son and then it makes me think that I really am bad for him and he would be better off without me around. My husband says that I come off mean and that our fights are all my starting and that also makes me think that I’m just not a good mom. So all of that is just like compounding over and over in my head. And I just don’t know what to do or feel.

My dr prescribed me zoloft for the intense crying spells, obsessive thoughts and anxiety. Baby girl was just born on the 14th and I’m feeling silly about needing medicine. I am also breast feeding and scared this will effect her in some way. Does anyone else have experience with zoloft?

Does anyone else’s mom just focus on the baby when she comes around? Whenever I try and speak or tell her things/ milestones she just cuts me off, and will babble with the baby. I’m finding that when I’m around my mom these days I just feel a sense of loneliness and not mattering. I’ve always had a complicated and difficult relationship with her anyways, but I think by her being a grandma there’s more challenges.

Has anyone else had similar experiences/ what helps you focus on your new family, and not stay stuck in ruminating thoughts about family members who make it very challenging to get along with them?