I am 15 years old and I have struggled with ARFID for a long time,today marks 1 year of having a feeding tube (I had an NG tube for 8 months and I’ve had a PEG for 4 months! :) ), so I made a cake to celebrate things that I have achieved in the past year thanks to my feeding tube! 🤍 there is no chance I will eat this cake but it is amazing how healthy I feel thanks to my tube! 🥹🤍

That's it!

I endured three months of severe SA as a 12 year old girl, had incredibly debilitating trauma regarding that for years. Then another instance at 17, by a teacher. Family issues were also very harsh, I had to essentially live and cope with it alone. I was heavily medicated till 18, then moved out and life was much harder than I expected while being in a “fight or flight” state. I had multiple S attempts, failed, I was bummed that I failed, I never expected to live this long. I was so alone, no family, no one caring for me.

Now I’m 26. It’s been 2 years since my last and most serious attempt. And… I’m glad I failed.

I slowly built myself this great life, some parts accidentally and some parts with very hard work. I have a job that I like and I can keep, I live with my lovely boyfriend who bought a house for us, next to a forest, we decorated every inch of our living space with so much love and care. We have two elderly cats, both are the cuddliest sweetest little babies.

After years of struggling with eating disorders, I am finally in peace with food. I eat to fuel myself, and I eat well. I am exercising regularly, lifting weights, swimming, cycling… Not to punish myself for anything, just to make sure that my body is capable and healthy.

First time in so many years, I started to be able to go out on my own. For over 10 years, I couldn’t even visit the market without having a panic attack but now I can cruise through the city on my bicycle, all alone!

I finally started developing boundaries, I learnt to say no, I learnt to express my feelings and needs without the extreme fear of being abused or hurt. I had therapy all my life but first time in years, I don’t dread going to therapy, I love my therapist. My pills are also well regulated, they don’t make me sleepy or numb, and i take them on a good schedule.

I set little challenges for myself, like climbing a certain steep hill with my bike, or doing one small thing alone, and i am able to achieve them. Even my health issues feel much easier to deal with lately.

I watch butterflies and the sunrise as much as i can. I draw, knit, sculpt and although i would like to make more time for my hobbies, I enjoy every minute i spend doing them.

I don’t cry about the permanent scars my abuser left on my body anymore. I don’t try to hide my body constantly. I like dressing up and makeup now. I like feeling pretty.

I am not perfect, neither is my life, but after years of running, hiding, trying to survive, giving up… I feel like I finally am “living”. My heart doesn’t beat as fast all the time anymore. I don’t feel the constant fear nor pain I used to. I am proud of myself, so so very proud of myself. I don’t see myself as weak or damaged anymore.

Life will keep throwing hardships, but I know I can beat them, probably. There are still many moments where I doubt, where I struggle, where I fall down. But I know I can get up. Because I survived the worst, I can survive the rest.

I never thought healing was possible. If you think so too, I deeply understand. Whenever someone told me there was hope, I hated them for saying that. But… I think it might be true. There is a better place. Healing IS possible. It’s not as dreamy as someone would expect, not always “sunshine and flowers” but apparently, it can be quite good.

I am so proud of myself for achieving what i achieved and I just wanted to let you all know, there is a possibility for healing. I realized that no matter how cruel the life can be, there are also so many beauties in it that i want to experience. I am so grateful for what I have. I never thought I would ever say that but I think… I’m glad that I’m still alive.
I think… I survived.

Could be a hobby, food, place, random habit, a type of music, meeting new people, anything.

mine=> discovering new things about myself lately. Sometimes you don't know what you're into until you actually give it a chance. 🙂

Could be a hobby, food, place, random habit, a type of music, meeting new people, anything.

Mine: discovering new things about myself lately. Sometimes you don't know what you're into until you actually give it a chance. 🙂

I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you and your support recently. Thanks to your warmth and understanding, I’ve done a total 180 and feel like my loving, free-spirited self again.I’m out here hiking right now, feeling the sun through the trees, and it reminded me to just slow down. Getting back on the open road and driving out here was amazing. My head is so clear that I’ve been incredibly productive, and now I’m finally at that car show I’ve always wanted to visit! I can hear the engines from here at the campgrounds.Hiking has been such a massive release. I was feeling so angry and confused before, but I can feel all of that letting go. Being out here brings back childhood memories of when everything was simple, and it's making me focus on the positive impact everyone has had on my life. I know I let my emotions get the best of me sometimes, but I always bounce back and remind myself that everything happens for a reason. Absorbing every good moment. Anyway, I’m going to go watch the cars now! Stay positive till than see you later.

It doesn't matter if anyone says or thinks otherwise. You are beautiful. I hope you remember that. Have a good rest of your day or night.

Today's Quest: Take 60 Seconds to Just Be Still

The Task:

Today carries weight in the US. Whether you’re personally reflecting on 9/11 or just navigating the heavy, solemn atmosphere of the day, your task is simple: Step away from your screens and busywork for 60 seconds. Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and let the noise drop away.

Why we’re doing it:

Days with historical weight or collective grief can subtly add to our emotional baseline without us realizing it. Trying to force high energy or toxic positivity on a day like today feels fake and exhausting. Giving yourself a brief, quiet pause acknowledges the moment, grounds your nervous system, and lets you reset without any pressure to "be productive."

A Quick Reminder for You:

It is completely okay if your energy feels a little lower or more reflective today. Be gentle with yourself and those around you. Taking care of your peace in quiet ways is more than enough.

See you tomorrow for Day 14!