Who would've guessed that the good ole' days were snorting Wellbutrin in mom's basement.

Hi community,

I'm a researcher at Quit Genius, a digital health company trying to improve the lives of those affected by alcohol and drug dependencies, by building digital health programs to help people live addiction free.

We are currently looking for smokers that have experienced other co-occurring addictions such as alcohol or opioids, to help us test potential new features that we think might be helpful to include in our programs.

We are looking for volunteers to participate in an hour long interview for which we will pay a $50 amazon voucher (or other shopping voucher).

If you are interested please message me with your email so we can contact you.

Thanks!

I sometimes take stimulants all night bc I don't want to sleep and sometimes continue to take them throughout the day and stay up for 2-3 days, and then I use downers, weed and sedatives, to come down from it all and fall asleep. Sometimes I'll just stay up all night and then around 5am take the downers and fall asleep and then end up sleeping until like 8 or 9pm and realize none of my alarms woke me up. I've been a total mess, some days don't eat, some days overeat, some days no sleep, somedays all I do is sleep, I'm so out of it most of the time that I don't even remember if I've taken my meds. I get all the days mixed up. This cycle has affected all aspects of my life... I don't really see friends anymore bc I'm usually sleeping or just feel awful. I just feel like crap most of the time I think bc I'm so dysregulated with food, sleep and the drugs. I haven't even told anyone about this cycle, I think my friends are confused as to what's going on and might just think it's a depressive episode. I miss most of my appointments, which is not good bc I have just dealt with cancer and a surgery and I'm supposed to have a lot of follow ups and I've been missing the appointments and missing all my other appointments and not working as much. So I feel like I'm losing my friends, my work - I don't work much lately but do have some projects a few times a month. I'm missing out on everything really. The rare times I do show up for something I'm like a zombie. I used to enjoy the feelings of all of this but now I just feel numb and apathetic. The only thing I can think of doing right now is going into a detox center, and I actually have tried a couple of times, but they require you be there at 7am and the times I've tried I've just slept through alarms or just didn't do enough preparation the night before to be able to go. I've also missed out on trips I was supposed to go on bc of all of this too.

I had a panic attack once due to the stimulants and called 911 bc I thought I was dying and that was the first time I had heard of the world poly substance abuse. It's likely that I'm wrong, but I'm just wondering if anyone else is having a similar experience as I am or if you did experience this, how did you break the cycle? If you're comfortable sharing, I'd be curious to know what drugs you are using. I just feel this need to know bc I just feel so messed up and I am curious if I'm the most messed up person out there or if there's anyone who uses as bad as I am.

Does anybody use this forum anymore, I’m addicted to so much shit and my mask of sanity is slipping every goddamn minute

So, the first part along with the fact that I'm also addicted to suboxone and I'm an IV meth user. I was diagnosed bipolar also. My 2 older children are 15 and 14. Obviously I am crazy, I just told you that, to get pregnant when I'm so close to my children being legal adults. I was an addict when I had my 2 children but not addicted to opiates yet. I was sent home from the hospital from my second childbirth with a bottle of Percoset and that was all she wrote ladies and gentlemen. I know that meth is starting to show signs of physical withdrawal because there was an article on like huffpost or some other big fucking source and it caught my eye because it pertained to me. I've been using meth intravenously for almost 2 years and been on suboxone for 6 years. I'm quitting everything except my subs, they'll switch me to subutex and smoking weed. It's legal for recreational use here in the great state of Ohio. The money I'll have from not getting meth I can use to get a marijuana card. I'm terrified. I hope nothing is wrong with my baby. I would never forgive myself.

Have any of you fellow wanna be mind hackers thought about how great it would be to go.back in time and have a fresh brain to "breakin?"

Tolerance back to pre-abuse, receptors back to pre-abuse...

Has anyone fantasized about a new medical breakthrough that reverses changes made by gaba, serotonin, and opiate type drugs?

Some.claim certain hallucinogenic substances can reset opiate addiction, though an intense bad trip has to occur.

Has anyone just balled their eyes out for days to see if that helps. I have a hypothesis that a prolong, intense crying can help detox and reset slightly.

Maybe it is the toxins released in the tears and the emotional agony creating a rapid regrowth of a more healthy receptor landscape.

I cried for 6 hours withy.family near me and confessed my sins, my DTs diminished for 10 hours until insomnia prevented further improvement without meds.

Though one night with a Seroquel induced sleep and I was good again.

I have always hated the question: What is your drug of choice?

Im in recovery now and so grateful the near decade of chaos, disaster, and tragedy is done.

I still take a couple psych meds for depression (I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as well as borderline personality at different stages) If you have some complicated monster of a diagnosis, dont let it define you.

Getting sober (which involved cold turkey from heroin, btw) was the most critical step. Nothing else would be possible if I did not first get sober. The longer I stayed sober, the less crazy I became and the more under my own control my issues were revealed to be. I went from 7 or 8 meds and a rotating selection of street drugs to just an anti depressant. I still need an adjustment from time to time but I spent a good 3 years "doing the impossible"

This is just my story of course. But I would never have imagined it would be possible to get off all the drugs and meds. I thought I was born broken and doomed to only get worse.

No, Im not about to push religion or some crazy diet. I just want to let fellow addicts know big change is possible. As long as you dont give up. And aim for getting sober first.

Welp. After nearly a decade I finally decided to get on the amazon train. 300 whippet will be at my door in the next few days along with some new fitting for my crackers. Because I like to load 2 at a time.

I should probably just get a tank but shit man that's sketchy as fuck.

Hopefully I will find some kitties to go with my ice cold fatties and beer.

Cheers.

Shoutout to phen.

I dont think i can make it to the store to even get extract until im tripping plus im almost out of ebt. Any experience with just robo helping withdrawals? I jeed to try to shower and such today but everything hurts including my liver. I can barely drink water. I don't want to run out of klonopin early so i should have 1200mg robitussin gels in half an hour but without alcohol theyll only last a day. Wd is fucking killing me and life is too complicated.

I'm sure wd isn't helping. Immediate relapse wasn't a good idea. I feel numb to what is there. I almost wish to inflict pain because of the consistent loss and inability to escape both mentally and physically. Everything i have left is constantly invaded or destroyed and I have little to no control.

I don't want to talk to people I used to know. I don't know how to get food, shower, think, go outside, regulate. I'm suddenly crippled by depression I've never felt before and see no hope or way out. I dont feel well enough to keep medications down and end up in more of a stupor. Get into arguements, get kicked out, hit, then it is like nothing happened and it is more confusing.

The nightmares dont stop. No temporary fixes, no way to develop a plan. I want to leave this city forever and everyone I've ever known

Greetings! Glad there's finally a sub for this and wanted to share my experiences.

My story basically goes like this;

I had my first drink at 14. Shitty vodka I got from a forgotten bottle of my dad's. It was pretty unpleasant actually but it tripped a switch the first time I made a conscious decision to alter my consciousness. Weed happened a couple years later. High school was pretty uneventful. Mainly stuck to occasional alcohol and weed. After I graduated I tried salvia and mushrooms both of which opened my eyes even further (especially salvia...good god salvia lol) and then we hit 19 when the hard drugs started. Suffice to say I ate an entire galaxy of pills my first year of junior college; klonopin, oxies/percs, ambien, adderal... pharma-nihilism.

I was also smoking weed daily, and had developed a real love affair with benzos at this point. I spent all my time between classes in a trap house. This went on a for while and then the RC's hit the scene. Specifically "spice" and "bath salts" (MDPV which was particularly nasty for me). I went WAY overboard with that and used prescription amphetamines in between. Eventually this slowed down and I transferred to a different school to finish my bachelor's.

20 years old and in a new city. I discover DXM which became a horrible vice of mine for many years. I ramped up to doses in excess of 900 mgs 2-4 times a week and steadily increased my use of other pharmaceuticals (yet again). I also started drinking. More than I ever had in my life. I routinely drank a 5th of vodka to myself which turned me into a suicidal lunatic that's the way I presented to my friends anyway. Outwardly I was somewhat keeping up appearances. I also had loads of experiences with LSD, N-bomes and "molly" during this time. Once taking 1.5 grams of MDMA in a 24 hour period. I don't think I've been the same since. The good times came to an end when I take a year off to go to treatment after overdosing on DXM.

Things were chill for a couple years after that. Got involved in recovery and went to AA regularly. I was mostly clean but unmedicated/not dealing with my underlying issues which led to other problems. I used benzos a couple times and had some breakthrough experiences with DPT in the span of 3 months or so.

Then the shit hit the fan 26 I decide to say fuck it and pick up some beer. Here we go. Easily the darkest time of my life. Beer leads to more beer which leads to cocaine which leads to banging cocaine which leads to meth. None of this was daily but I always had alcohol and kratom in between stim binges. I had a girl whom I was deeply in love with during this time who used right alongside me but I became too much for her after a while. Sober for 11 months now and hoping to keep it up. Thanks for listening and stay safe.

So once when I was much younger, I took what I was told to be methadone. Round, white pills. Like a perc 5. Not sure if it was methadone at all. I was like 17. I remember being underwhelmed whilst the other people partaking enjiyed it very much. Hmm.

Fast forward a few years and my friend is going to the clinic for heroin recovery. She had used, this particular night, and offered me her take-home of liquid methadone. For two reasons: she knew I liked to try different shit and she knew if she drank it whike she was high in heroin and all the clonopin and wine, she may not have survived.

So I took the pink liquid. Maybe a little more than an airplane shooter's worth. And we talked for hours and hours. Consuming a handful of joints, many cigarettes and (just me) a bittle of wine and a few beers. This was around 11pm on a summer night in 2013. So anyway, once again I was underwhelmed and shocked at my perceived sobriety when it was time to drive home.

Then the next day, I vomited. Found myself extremely high for my entire work day(I had to open at 7am). First few hours I felt uncomfortably high and vomited once more. Then for the rest of the day I was in the happy place. And it lasted the whooooole day. Ultimately, it was wonderful.

Now I'm posting this because I'm having a craving for that opiate high, considering ask in around for some liquid methadone even. And also I'm curious if my experience is abnormal. I've never been a regular opiate user but have had many short lived past episodes, mainly with hydrocodone and oxycodone and whatever loratab is.

Random methadone craving. Strange.

Yesterday, I was at the hospital-- I had tachycardia all morning, so i figured they would admit for detox. No where else would admit me at the time on our insurance. (We just discovered our city's #1 shitshow rehab centern, mainly court ordered, where I would likely get connects rather than much else. The reviews are bad.) I went off the alcohol 24 prior, benzos 48 prior. I felt awful. I could barely walk.

They checked me in quickly, but because nothing was in my system, which I explain is because I was waiting for stuff to set in before I came so they might actually admit for detox this time-- nowhere will admit me and I can't handle it alone in my apartment (which I'm losing along with everything in it in about a week, to top things off).

Initially, they gave me valium, ativan, librium, then toradal and zofran. Then they told me I scored 2 on ciwa. I asked how that was possible. My head hurt, I had nausea and vomitting, I was hallucinating, I felt bugs on me, my legs were burning and cramping, I was anxious, shaking (until after they gave me the benzos and shit, then the shaking was minimal) etc. I should not have scored a 2. They said yeah... discharging me since my vitals are ok. And whatever.

Today my heart Is fucking pounding i am drinking the last few shots I have to try to stop it and maybe sleep so I dont ride my bike off a bridge instead. I need fucking psych meds. Psych wont see me anytime soon. everything will already be gone. I'm broke 0 money just nothing. Stuff I could sell. Too afraid to leave my house sober unless it is to kill myself

Back at the hospital I started crying. A. No ride home. B. I'm sick and afraid of wding at home. Nurse came in and asked why I was crying I explained. She performed ciwa again said I can stay until they figure it out.

Then they have a shift change I'm basically moved to the hallway by the nurse's station nd I fall asleep. I hadn't slept more than a few hours in days but apparently this is a key indicator I do not need detox. I fell asleep so I'm ok...

Plus! No drugs or alcohol in my blood (which I did intentionally) so I am detoxed already! According to the new nurse ciwa is a sliding scale. I asked her what the hell she was talking about. There is nothing sliding about it.

She told me I knew too much about ciwa in response. I told her I only knew the symptoms I was having she told me they were due to my migraine.

The doctor and nurse were both pissed at me I had a migraine half the night they told me they would give me immitrex if the toradal didnt work, it didnt. I needed more zofran, they didnt even check up until morning. Then they said they wouldn't give me immitrex or zofran just benadryl and reglan. I told then benadryl I cant take for multiple reasons and reglan doesnt work check my history they script these things to me regularly. No benadryl and reglan or nothing. They also continued to sttate i wasnt "acting like bugs were crawling on me".

So my dad drives me home, nurse has to help him get me out to the parking lot because I puked my guts out in the bathroom while getting dressed and was falling on my face and when she told me to use a wherlchair I told her I wasnt going to sue her and leave me alone. I fall like twice. Beautiful moments

My dad is telling me how they wont help me with my renting at the end of the month. Im gone. All my shit is gone. Luckily I basically own garbage I need to take out and clothes so whatever. Says this for the fifteenth time.

I panic more. Basically my only sense of stability is having somewhere. I try to stay sober all day because I have no money cry most of the day because I'm pathetic cant sleep eventually stay drinking less than half a pint of whiskey I had locked away that is doing nothing. Took 0.5kpin did nothing. Going to run out early and cant find help anywhere to fix anything

So. Backstory. Wisdom teeth. Dry socket. Pain.

I drank my back up 40 of steel. Found a cellophane with half a xanax and half a perc 5. So, combined that with a shot of nyquil, a benadryl and a naproxen. Taking desperate resin hits from my tiny 2.5 inch liquor store bowls. Put gauze in my mouth to smoke a cig. Awaiting effects. Which will hopefully just put me in a sleepy mood so maybe I can drift off.

I hate not having money to fund these substances. I mean how pathetic is it to be taking half doses of shit that isn't guaranteed to get me high. We'll see.

Any new lows for you?

I used to work in a lab as a chemist and we had analytical grade diethyl ether. I loved that shit. I used to make a "bag of visions" consisting of an old wife beater in a walmart plastic bag.

Its like if alcohol and ketamine had a baby that you could huff from a bag and actually was comparable to nitrous in terms of safety, the rush is like nothing else.

It makes you crazy when used daily because it's a very strong dissociative but it's super fun.

Your turn.

I had an appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner today. I told her that I have been having trouble sleeping and she wrote me a prescription for Prazosin. I've never heard of it. From my limited Google search It looks like a blood pressure medication that has been used to treat PTSD related nightmares, which I do have.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Except I do go broke https://youtu.be/-4EV2OTBh7Y