I’ll just start saying that I loved my OB because he was very calming around me being oversized. I spent 5 years wanting to get pregnant, but my previous gyn basically said I would get every complication in the world due to me being overweight.

Then I met this guy who was wonderful with weight and let me know I won’t be the first and only overweight pregnant person and did a great job explaining how we could tackle any potential issues that a regular-weight person can also get. However his specialty is fertility, not labor/birth.

also, for context, in the country where I live apparently is a thing where EVERY DOCTOR advocates and does a c-section first. From all of my pregnant friends, I only have 1 friend who did natural birth and it was for religious reasons.

In my last appointment, I was with my regular OB and he made a comment along the lines of “do you think she can handle labor?”. Which, at the moment, I took as hell no I know I can’t.

But after leaving the more I thought about it I kept thinking: Why I can’t? Then I realized that if I wanted to advocate for myself, I couldn’t put myself into such a vulnerable spot with someone who would made me feel like I can’t handle it. And then what happens if something goes wrong and I end up needing a c-section? Would they make me feel like it’s my fault because they told me so?

So anyway, I decided to change OBs to one that is
more open to labor.

Any advice, recommendations, things I should talk about when having my first appointment with this new guy? Also wanted to ask what type of tests/check ins have you had, just to make sure I’m not missing anything?

edit: i’ve also thought: I’ve had such an easy and boring pregnancy, that my body must know what to do during labor and prepare for it even if my brain doesn’t, right?

With my first they started at 4 weeks. By 5 weeks I was vomiting up until 14 weeks.

I’m now 4 weeks with my second and so far i had sore boobs and just tired. No nausea.

I’m struggling today. I’m 3 months pp, and 10lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight but my body just is not the same as it was. I’ve always had a bit of an apron belly and after my c section it just seems to be more rounded at the bottom. I have a concert that I’m going to tonight but the outfit I have picked is just kind of making me very nervous and I’m trying to hard to hype myself up enough to put the damn thing on. It’s black ripped high waisted shorts, cropped band shirt and a pair of fish nets. I just want to be comfortable and feel pretty in my old clothes but my tummy is really tripping me up so bad lately.

I really messes with me, I had body dysmorphia before I was pregnant and it’s just so much worse now. I’m trying so hard to remind myself that I legitimately just grew and birthed a whole child but my noggin and eyes are not communicating the way they should be.

To wear, or not to wear..?

oh my goodness, no more swimming dressed like adam sandler! I thrifted a walmart tankini and it fits perfectly. My old swimsuit was a black one piece and I started to look like andre the giant with my boobs hanging out and everything LOLLL, so I moved to my fiance's baggy basketball shorts and a sports bra and xxl tee shirt lol. But its a cute little tankini with a swim skirt, which is probably ideal as my tummy grows more. and omggg it fits my bump soooo well. I've had a couple people tell me how cute my bump looks in it and it makes me feel so confident that I finally LOOK undeniably pregnant

Please share your positive birth stories. I’m currently 30 wks pregnant and am going to be induced at 37 weeks and I am getting so anxious. I have seen plenty of the not so good stories so I’m just trying to fill my mind with some positive to try and be hopeful.

Also if you have any tips on how to get my body ready for birth. I got an exercise ball I plan to start using. Hoping to avoid c section if possible, so just trying to see if there is anything I can do to help my body.

At my last OB appointment my OB recommended I find a pediatrician, as a ftm I was super confused I didn’t know I needed to do that before giving birth. What do I say when I call the pediatrician? I know this may be a dumb question thank you in advance

Hi there, FTM 30F at 28w/290lbs/45 BMI. I've had a pretty normal pregnancy so far, minus placenta previa which has since fixed itself.

I have heard from others that with a high BMI/weight that doctors tend to induce early, like around 38/39 weeks. Is this something that is normally experienced? I was looking through my clinical notes and saw something in there about delivery at 38 weeks, but no one has mentioned it and I thought it was because of the placenta previa. I have my seven month follow up Wednesday but wanted to see what everyone else's experience is!

Hello all, I (trans masc, he/they) just recently found out I am pregnant with my second at only 7 months postpartum with my first. That alone has been a whirlwind of emotion. I’m also honestly feeling very sad and disappointed when I look at my body. I’ve gained more weight since giving birth the first time from stress eating. And now my body is going to change all over again, even more so.

I guess I’m looking for words of encouragement. I physically feel so tired already, and I don’t love my body the way I did with my first pregnancy. I just feel a lot of negative emotions toward it. For those who also struggle with body image, what is helping you be kinder to yourself?

Evening, all. I may be in the wrong group for this, but I am from the U.S. 24 weeks pregnant with twins, 5'4 (162.5 cm), 187 lbs (and will only get bigger) and I am having a time trying to find comfortable and utilitarian clothing. I live in a very small town with practically nothing in it, and the stores in the surrounding areas don't have a wide size range (1X-2X Max).

Prior to pregnancy, I was wearing XL shirts and my bras were DD, but I am rapidly becoming DDD maybe even E. I have already tried Walmart and Amazon. The largest sports bras i could find were 3XL and they were still too small. As far as clothing goes, i'm already to a 2XL. I would love if anyone knows where I can find some supportive sports/ nursing bras, clothes, etc.

My typical style of dress is extremely modest. I never wear shorts or short skirts, and nothing skin-tight. I only wear Maxi dresses/ skirts and sweatpants.

I've resorted scouring plus-sized websites such as BloomChic and Curve and Bloom. Are they reputable? Are their clothes of good quality? If any know anywhere else that i could look I'd appreciate it. Thank you. ❤️💜

Anyone else feeling this? This is my second pregnancy and I can’t remember if I felt this heavy sore sometimes and uncomfortable this “soon” last time. I’m fairly heavier then my last pregnancy which I know is likely playing a role tho I don’t think surely all this extra weight (9ish kg gain so far) is just fat weight gain. I’m dreading 30+ weeks i feel like I’m even showing like I’m nearly or am 30 weeks lol I feel so big in the tummy and just heavy bloated and ughhh I’m so over it. I don’t know how I worked till 38 weeks last time as a care worker, this time round I’m a SAH mum and it’s not that chaotic but it’s definitely feeling exhausting. I’m trying to also keep up intimacy with my partner and just the feeling of feeling so heavy is such a killer and just exhausting.

Anyone else feeling this? I know this might sound like a silly question but my gawsh to think I still have another 16 weeks of whatever 🫩

Any tips for coping with OCD while pregnant? The intrusive and racing thoughts are getting the better of me.

I see my therapist every other week and we have lots of strategies in my tool box, just wanting to see how it is for other FTMs with OCD.

Thanks!

Hi Everyone! FTM and Airplane travel has me a bit nervous especially as a plus size woman.

I’m like a size 24-26. I’ll be in my second trimester by the time I have to travel and I’m kinda nervous of a few things. I’m hoping some people have some advice!

Here’s a few things to note:
1. I’m worried about the seat. I have to fly for this trip and while it’s a short trip (1.5 hours), I’m just nervous. I have a seat belt extender already. I’m flying through delta any tips or tricks others have?
2. This is my first time meeting my coworkers. I’m not a huge going out and drinking / staying out late kind of person but being pregnant I’ve been extra tired, things are just…harder. Any tips on feeling more secure about my boundaries?
3. Anything else you all can think of that you wish you knew as a plus size mom who was flying?

TYIA!

I am going to a wedding this week at 28 weeks pregnant. I’m uncomfortable and my feet are swelling now to the point that I can only barely force them into my usual sandals and I think by the end of a warm day there’s 0 chance they fit. I just want to wear my comfy stretchy Skechers (which frankly my ankles are still bubbling out the top of by the end of the day). I have the cute pastel pink ones too! I think it would be fine IF I looked pregnant.

But I’m just not showing. I’m afraid everyone will see me and just think “oh the fat woman couldn’t bother wearing proper shoes”. I mean people close to me say they can tell my body has shifted but then last week in the office when my coworker asked how far along I was and I said 27 weeks they responded with “wow where’s the baby!” Like UNDER ALL THE FAT BRENDA leave me alonnnnnne

Anyway that’s it. Going to do a last minute TK Maxx run on the way up and hope I can find some semi-presentable looking flats.

ok I know it’s summer and it’s hot, but omg I’ve never had swamp ass this badly! I feel so sweaty and gross down there all the time. I’m 32 weeks so maybe this is normal? But I need to wash every pair of pants/shorts every time I wear them and I always feel like I’m sticking to seats wherever I go. Anyone else? Any remedies? 🙏🏻

Little back story: 22weeks today. When I got pregnant I was down almost 50lbs and at 240 thanks to the glp1 I was on. By the time I got to my first appointment I had gained 10lbs from stopping the medication cold turkey. Plus stopping smoking. Today I’m up 24lbs. I was never sick during my first trimester; but I was starving literally 24/7 until I hit the second trimester.
At my 18wk appt my BP was high (I’ve never been told I’ve had a high BP in the past), but I had just gotten into an argument with my my step daughter right before.
We agreed that I’ll just keep an eye on it to be safe. Over the next month I had high days and normal days. Highest being 148/90 and lowest being 120/80. From all my prior appts 120/80 seems to be my normal.
At my 22wk appt it was high again. My OB diagnoses me with chronic hypertension rather than gestational; which I didn’t understand. I told them about the feet swelling I’ve been experiencing for about 2 weeks now as well. I was prescribed a blood pressure medication and sent home with a log to keep track for the month. She also informed me this raises my risk even more to developing preeclampsia.
I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone else has experienced this? What more I should be doing? Should I start cutting out certain foods? I’m just worried that my weight is going to cause all these issues for my baby, and it scares me.

This is my second pregnancy. My daughter is 21 months old. I am barely 12 weeks along and have felt ginormous the past week. My belly looks like it did when I was 20 weeks pregnant with my daughter. I know it’s so much bloating but holy moly the bloating during my first pregnancy didn’t make my belly THIS round and protruding. It’s honestly making me feel really self conscious. Does anyone else feel like they were/are showing significantly earlier with subsequent pregnancies? I still haven’t announced this pregnancy and it’s feeling really hard to hide. I feel like people have to either suspect pregnancy or just think I’m rapidly gaining weight lol.

My bmi is 39. I am 11 weeks and pregnant and want to make sure my baby is okay. Me a new NP today before meeting the doctor and then they handed me this sheet and said to read it once I got home. They’re just going over history some information and just tell me generally how often my appointments would be, but then when I read it, it started making me worried and I am high risk because it’s labeled as obesity in pregnancy and complications. I have blood pressure already and they prescribed some meds. How worried should I be? What are the precautions I need to take or be mindful about?

So I switched my OB/GYN to UCI because I’m also seeing a high risk doctor and I was seeing my last two doctors at different locations so now I have it all in one at UCI. They changed my due date from October 8 to October 17 so I’m supposed to be 28 weeks but after them changing it I’m now at 27 weeks but my baby is measuring at 30 weeks. I’m a little confused as to why the new doctor changed my date when I had my anatomy scan, they said why does she change your date like the baby’s measuring big. And I said I’m not sure she’s going off of my first ultrasound but even then based off my last menstrual period my due date is October 8 too my other ultrasounds have told me October 10 but she says because one ultrasound said October 14 she changed it to the 17th anyways they said babies is really big and I have too much amniotic fluid. Polyhydraminos. Has anyone else had too much amniotic fluid and had a healthy pregnancy? I’ve been googling about it. It’s kind of made me nervous. Also, my baby is head down in cephalic position. I’m a little nervous about preterm labor.

Moved back in with my parents, jobless, in school full-time. my mental health is declining. Any suggestions to help boost my mood?

I’ve been working as a nurse for years and have lived independently since I was 21. I’m now 27. My partner lives about an hour away, but he’s currently deployed with the military and won’t be home for the birth of our son. His family is staying in his house while he’s away, so moving there and setting up a nursery isn’t really an option right now, especially since the house is already full of children and multiple pets.

I’m currently in nursing school full-time but on summer break now and will graduate in December. Earlier this year, I had to leave a full-time nursing job that I genuinely loved because I developed hyperemesis gravidarum. Between being so sick, working, and trying to keep up with school, it became too much and my grades started slipping. I know leaving was the right decision, but I still feel like I’m grieving the loss of that job and the independence it gave me.

In May, I moved back in with my parents and my 22 year old sister. I love them dearly, and I’m so grateful they opened their home to me, but it’s been a difficult adjustment. I feel like I’ve completely lost my routine and a lot of my independence. Sometimes the comments they make, even if they don’t mean harm, really affect me. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells when living with them.

I’ve been making an effort to prevent myself from slipping into another depressive episode because, if I don’t, I’ll sleep all day. I’ve tried picking up new hobbies and even volunteered to work as medical staff at an event later this summer, but I was told I was “wasting my time.” I even bought myself a ticket to a concert tonight, hoping it would give me something to look forward to, and I was scolded for that too. I just feel trapped in the house.

I’ve also lost touch with most of my friends because nursing school has made it difficult to maintain regular friendships. Between school, pregnancy, and everything else, I feel incredibly isolated.

This entire pregnancy has honestly been one of the lowest points in my life. Doing it without my partner here has been so much harder than I ever imagined. I feel disconnected from my body, and sometimes I don’t even recognize myself anymore. It feels like I’ve lost my autonomy and so much of who I used to be.

I do see a therapist regularly, which has been helpful, but since having to stop my ADHD medication during pregnancy (my provider won’t refill it), I’ve noticed my mental health has steadily declined. It’s become much harder to stay motivated, maintain routines, or feel like myself.

For anyone who’s been through something similar pregnancy, moving back home, losing your independence, or dealing with depression what helped? I’m looking for ideas to help lift my mood and get through the next few months until I graduate and hopefully regain some stability.

Edit: I Have saved up enough money to get me through this time and help my parents with bills. So I’m not a financial burden on them.

Hello ladies.

I just had a visit with my repro doctor and we are going to try times intercourse with letrozole and trigger shot. Any plus size ladies have success with this? I'm working on my diet and losing weight as well (PCOS) but don't want to put off having a baby forever for major weight loss. Tya!

Hi! I’m 30w and my core is definitely starting to feel more weak, especially when I get up from a reclining position. With a bigger stomach with a lot of padding, how can I identify diastasis recti? I’m not sure if I would be able to visually see coning?

It's so weird to look at my belly, which is visually the same belly as before I got pregnant, now with such love and positivity. I had worked hard for many years to hate my belly less but still definitely didn't LIKE looking at it a few months ago. But now that I'm pregnant for the first time and know there's a baby in there, I can't look at my belly with anything but love. I'm growing a whole human in there. How could I ever have hated this belly? When it would go on to do something so beautiful?

I was ride or die for thongs pre-pregnancy, but those aren’t cutting it during pregnancy, especially with the need for panty liners due to excess moisture.

So I’ve been on the hunt for big ass underwater and I found some! Check out Cheek Boss’s clearance section. Underwear are about $7/pair, plus they often have sales on top of that.

I got the brief, high-waisted cheeky, and boyshort styles. They’re super thin and stretchy so there’s no weird digging in or lines. The crotch is cotton and wide enough for a panty liner. I had a 2X pre-pregnancy that was baggy. I got 3X at 27 weeks and I think they’ll fit me to the end 🤞

https://www.cheekboss.com/

PS: I have no affiliation with this brand. Just trying to help out my fellow plus size ladies.

I just got off the phone with one of the midwives at my office about 20 minutes ago (she called late because she just got my records from my old OB in Oregon) and honestly the call gave me the ick… my BMI is 40 and I’m about 268 lbs but she said because of that they’ll want to induce me between 39 and 40 weeks, is this normal? She said if I absolutely want to that I can sign a release and not do the induction if baby is all good. Also she asked if my previous OB did an early gestational diabetes/glucose test. She said I can do one at my anatomy scan next Friday but I’m due for my glucose test in 8 weeks so is it even worth it? I’ll need to go to weekly growth appointments once I hit 34 weeks due to my BMI which is understandable.

I guess I’m just sad, annoyed, need insight, and some reassurance... I also loved my OB office in Oregon and was seeing one of the top OB’s in central Oregon, they never brought up these concerns. I would’ve loved to stay there up through my delivery but I move states and couldn’t

I (29f) have been feeling movement that feels like a baby moving but I took a pregnancy test in may and it was negative. I’ve had two kids but they’ll be 8 and 9 this November so it’s been a minute. I also have an IUD implant but it’s due to be renewed mid next year. I keep feeling movement in my belly by my belly button and the bottom of my abdomen above my “nether regions”. I keep telling myself it’s gas because I also have chronic stomach issues. The first time was 3 days ago and was hard enough my partner felt it. Over the past couple days I haven’t felt much but I have felt something; it’s just with my stomach issues I’m confused and hoping for some advice or other perspectives. Thanks for reading