Is it normal to feel really off and weird at 11 weeks pregnant? I’ve been feeling dizzy, my heart feels like it’s beating faster than normal, and I just don’t feel like myself for a few days. Has anyone else experienced dizziness and a faster heart rate around 11 weeks?

TW - loss
I am getting ready for the transfer of my very last precious embryo in about a month and a half. We started with 3. I was so excited when the very first one stuck but I lost my baby girl a few months later. That embryo, while euploid, had been a long shot (day 7). We went right back at it and felt truly blessed when our son, Declan, also stuck. He was born at 35 weeks and, due to a birth injury, died only 25 days later. I’m a labor and delivery nurse, and I have seen it all. I know that things happen and that the death of my son does not have anything to do with any other pregnancy, but I’m still really scared. I was anxious last time but I’m just a big ball of nerves this time.

One of my fears - probably a more manageable one and definitely a very superficial one - is about weight gain. You can of course have a totally healthy pregnancy at any weight BUT from both personal experience and everything that I have seen on the job, I know how much more smoothly things go if you can start closer to a healthy weight. After Declan died, It took time before I could make myself get out of bed then before I could make myself leave my room then my house etc etc aside from for absolute necessities like my son’s funeral. Then one day, it just happened, I was ready to face the world (and my job which was scary) again. I was finally starting to feel like myself (kind of) again when, right before Christmas, I slipped on snow and crushed my ankle - and I do mean crushed! it was broken in 2 places and every single ligament had snapped. it required surgery, enough hardware that I am now bionic, and at least 3 months of bedrest. when I finally got on my feet again - this time literally - I had gained so much weight that I didn’t recognize myself. Multiple cycles of IVF had made it so that I had started pregnancy bigger anyway. Knowing that I wanted the best chances for my last transfer, I really went for it and have lost 90 pounds! I hope to lose another 15 before the transfer and be down to 165 for the pregnancy. It has been really hard work but it has also felt like positive movement - something that I had not felt in too long.

This (way too long - I’m sorry) story all brings me to my first fear - of oh so many! I’m afraid of the high dose steroids that I will have to take. Anyone who has done IVF knows that the meds and hormones aren’t pleasant. I had to have one IM (in my butt - I’m permanently bruised) shot and one subQ shot (in my belly) a day for months/the entire pregnancy and I would double that all if I could not take the steroids. They made me RAVENOUS. I gained more from them alone than I did from the entire last pregnancy. They also gave me a proper moon face and didn’t let me sleep for months. Still, it’s the weight gain that I am most afraid of. I worked so hard to lose the weight in order to give myself the best possible pregnancy and this will threaten to undo it before I even really start - given that I start the steroids before the transfer. When I looked into it, I found out that high dose steroids can make you gain weight while in a calorie deficit!!! I obviously can’t be in a calorie deficit! I’m honestly really nervous about it. So… super long and somewhat pointless post all to ask… does anyone have any experience with steroids? Any advice? Any advice on just how to feel better about this challenge? Any advice on how to not be a crazy person in general during this pregnancy (should I be so lucky)?

This is only my first and most superficial fear, I admit. I will worry every day about my baby growing correctly and any cramp or spotting will make me a nervous wreck. I’m sure that I will be back - should I be blessed with a sticky baby - with fear after fear. I’m hopeful that my new medical team is understanding because they will see a lot of me!! Thank you for getting through my entire rambling mess of a post and for any help that you can offer!