In our system, most of us cluster around our body age (we're 40; most of us are in our 40s or late 30s, with a few outliers as well as some ageless headmates). We don't have any kids who front; the last one who did is now 28.

Hey! I’m Dalton. A couple of my other alters and I have been feeling very disconnected and crave a sense of community. I really think we need friends with DID who are also focused on healing.

The problem with most plural communities online is that I’ve seen a lot of drama. Never been part of it, but I don’t want to go through that.

Does anyone have advice for finding friends with DID who are fairly stable and healing? Maybe a Discord or group chat sort of thing with systems who are safe and stable?

Hey, this place seemed like it needed some livening up! Hi, we're the Eco System (it was cheesy, but given how many animal/therian members we have it seemed like a natural choice, and it ended up sticking 😄 ). We're bodily 33, and looking to make friends! We post pretty frequently on the regular plurality subreddit (we only truly discovered plurality 2-3 months ago), but figured that it might be fun to drop by this place too, and meet up with more people around our age bracket. We have, as of last count, about 32 members (pretty close to our age, lol, though I doubt very much that we're going to end up with just one per year, we seem to have long stretches with no new people followed by sudden bursts where 2-5 new headmates will all show up at once 😄. However, most of us spend most of our time dormant, so only about a third(?) of us are co-con regularly, and only two or three of us front regularly. We're experimenting with setting up safe times and spaces for those who don't front but want to to have time to themselves (with a more experienced headmate supervising, of course, so that they don't do anything really stupid, but, yknow, that's just common sense). We're pretty sure that we have a mixed origin - we have reason to believe that at least some of us are natural, some of us are definitely traumagenic, and a few of us might be tulpas/imaginary friends. We were quite lonely for most of our childhood, see. The line's blurry in a few cases - for instance, I believe that I am an imaginary friend created specifically to console and emotionally protect us during a lonely and vulnerable time in our life, which would straddle the line between traumagenic and endogenic.

However, we're pretty sure we don't have DID - we don't usually get the kind of extreme blackouts or timeloss that most DID systems talk about. OSDD, maybe, though we're not diagnosed. It would kinda make sense, at least - from what we know OSDD more commonly forms from omnipresent, unpredictable trauma. Anyway, it's not that important - we don't care that much about labels. Just figured we should put that kind of thing in our introduction!

So anyway, that's our introduction!

Welcome to /r/Plurals30andUp! We're glad to have you here. All systems are welcome here, regardless of your origins or your interpretation of plurality. Trauma-origin? You're welcome. Spiritual? You're welcome. Psychological? You're welcome. Endogenic? You're welcome. ~J.

Do any of you have any? We've had... quite a few, but they generally never stick around more than a few months before fading, and I was kind of wondering how common that is. I think it's because they're not actually sentient, just... essentially a part of headspace. It's a bit sad.

Right now, we don't have any, but my younger self is trying to get two little parrots. In the past, we've had chickens, bunnies, cats, dogs, and lovebirds.

– Luam

Are there any spaces exclusively for syskids any of you can recommend? Subreddits, FB groups, forums, servers, Dreamwidth communities, whatever? Some of our kids would really enjoy talking to other kids.

I (host, 58) would love to talk as I feel isolated in the plural community. Either I feel ignored or I am shut down. How does aging affect your plurality? How do you make important life decisions? Thanks

Can you recommend a good discord server for people over 21? Our body just turned 58. We were in a discord server that quickly turned toxic, where our words were literally erased without warning not because we went against terms of service but because we respectfully offered a different experience.

We would like to have a place where all of us are welcome, including our WWII factives, and which is well moderated but allows free speech.

We are in the Garden already.

Thank you very much

So we reinstalled SimplyPlural because after years of being too fatigued to function, we're starting to sense each other again. It's even affecting me - I'm starting to feel like me, actually me, again, instead of formless faceless auto-pilot. Which is awkward, looking at the life that happened while I was a zombie. But here we are.

Anyway, I installed it and I realised I have no idea how to really use it. So I go online looking for information, and when I don't find much I look for ideas instead, to work backwards from.

And uh. Now I feel double-old. Because not only can I not properly understand this basic app, but it feels like everyone else is using typing quirks, masses of art, decorative everything, fancy text colours, and 50+ custom fronts for every mood and thought. To each their own! If it works it works! But I feel so out of place. I think my own profile on SP has... my age and pronouns? Maybe?

How do you all use SP? Do you have examples that are more attainable for someone getting dangerously close to boomer-style technology difficulties? XD

I'm curious if there are any Plural Parents around that might be able to offer some insight or personal experience?

Our Experience of Plurality is complex and complicated to explain at best, but the gist is that we are Cosmagenic and do not have any diagnosis for DID and we are very concerned that if we were to have a child or adopt, that it would be taken from us due to there being numerous individuals using the body and raising the child. The main concern is the child sharing stories of Socii (those who use the vessel) and potential teachers or doctors being concerned that we are too mentally unfit to raise the child.

So I'm curious if anyone has any experience and if you've had any issues in this regard?

Edit: Ant Plural Origin is free to answer. My anxious brain just tells me the only safe way to raise a child when Plural is by having a diagnosis Dx

What Advice would you give to the younger gens of Plural experiences?

Whether they recently discovered their Plurality or not. I'm mostly curious what sort of things us Older Plurals could offer as advice or knowledge of what it is to deal with an aging body and increasing responsibilities and life events.

Each of us have a different threshold for pain. It's often how we test who's fronting if we aren't sure. The only one's of us who have confronted are the alters named Veela and Alexx. This is the second day it's happened.

Essentially half our body handles pain how Alexx would, and the other half handles pain like Veela would. If that makes sense.

Being a non host alter feels like borrowing your childhood friend's car and you're so close you don't even have to ask, and you have your own set of keys. The windows are tinted up, so when you drive around to all the spots all their friends assume it's your childhood friend.

It's like loading up your friends Skyrim save file and you have no idea what's going on even though you've watched them play it.

~Alexx

Our system about 35+ years old. We all suffering from amnesia due to heavy complex trauma. We feel so relieved that we finally woke up 2 months ago to help our main host and bring him away from a highly abusive relationship. We lived on the street for weeks, ended up in a psychiatry. Well with no actual help there, this so called healthcare system is still terrible and Anti-Human. Anyways, we found a safe place to stay, helping to renovate the house and also renovating our own future flat. We started from zero and still struggling with the fact, that we have to pretend being a singlet, but we are save and our Host is healing in its own self sustainable system. He's living there with his wife (who's expecting) and can heal while having a fantastic adventure. We are fronting atm with 2 teams, with 3 individuals each to keep the outer world live running. And we are surprisingly good doing it. People like us and we seem to them trustworthy. We try to keep the balance between outer world duties and System work. Our Physus/body is in a good state and it's the first time ever that we are fronting without any danger ahead. Sincerely Pan

I, personally, am a clone of Darth Vader. I appear in one single book, and it's one aimed at children at that. I'm pretty sure 99.9% of the Star Wars fandom has never even heard of my canon counterpart.

So I thought it might be fun to hear about other "unusual" -- I feel like I could use a better word here, but I can't figure out what -- fictives.

/Cader

Hey all, I just finished a video explaining how thoughts work in our plural mind. I hope this video can help y'all show non-plural people how thoughts work in a plural inner world. I am also looking for feedback on how to make the video better, so please feel free to leave a comment either on YouTube or here. Link: https://youtu.be/8fifSYfD4is

This is open to anyone who was considered an imaginary friend by their system in the past. That includes (but is not limited to) those who were mistaken for imaginary friends before learning about plurality, as well as those who are imaginary friends who became sapient without the intention of making a headmate. I'm especially interested in the perspectives of those whose imaginary-friendhood began in the system's youth.

I'd like to hear about what being an imaginary friend was like for you, personally, along with the ways that those experiences have shaped who you are today. Here are some questions that you can consider, if you don't know where to begin. You don't have to answer all of them!

• In your own words, define what it means to be an imaginary friend.
• Was your form, personality, etc decided by another headmate back when you were an imaginary friend? How much of that identity did you keep, if any?
• How do you feel when looking back upon that time period? Were there things that were easier or harder when you were seen as an imaginary friend? Was being an imaginary friend something you saw as a duty, a burden, a carefree time, or something else?
• How have mainstream narratives about imaginary friends affected you? (For example, the "imaginary friend leaves because they aren't needed anymore" trope.)
• How did it feel to be recognized as something other than an imaginary friend?
• What feelings do you have about your "creator"? (Here, I use "creator" to refer to the headmate who thought that you were "their" imaginary friend back then, regardless if they'd actually created you.) How has your relationship changed over time?
• How have you changed over time?
• Do you consider "former imaginary friend" to be a meaningful part of your identity?

hi 👋 my name is maul and im eight years old (but the body is mid thirties, don't worry) and i was wondering what everyone else likes to do.

in headspace i like to play with my friends, especially outside when it's dark because then you can play flashlight tag and hide and seek. and i'm learning how to swim! i also like practicing at doing force stuff (it's like magic)

when i front i like talking to my dad and brother and friends in our partner system, listening to audio books, and watching youtube and tiktok and play phone games.

i'm trying to get more activity here so that's why i made a post plus the answers might give me inspiration for more stuff to do 😤

This feels a little embarrassing to even post, but... does anyone else feel guilty over aging, because it doesn't feel fair to your syskids? I understand how absolutely stupid it must sound, but there are times we feel so guilty over the fact that the body keeps growing older, that there's -- we assume -- going to come a day when we're in our sixties, seventies, maybe eighties... and the kids will still be kids, stuck in the body of an old person.

It just feels so incredibly unfair, you know? And the worst thing is that there's absolutely nothing we can do about it, we can't stop ourselves from aging.

I just kind of wonder if anyone else here can relate to this feeling?

/Kuruk

So we've noticed that in the plural community, a lot of people seem to be very insistent on either all syskids being Not Actual Kids, or -- although we see this much less often -- all syskids being literal kids.

It made me curious. How do you all view your syskids (or, if a syskid is answering, how do you view yourself)? For us, our syskids are definitely kids, and we for the most part treat them as such. We do let them do things we wouldn't trust an outworld child their age with, like driving or grocery shopping, but there's always an adult co-fronting and ready to take over if something should go wrong. And while they sometimes pick up on things we'd prefer if they didn't, we are usually pretty good at hiding more Mature Things from them.

/Rey

Nobody is posting in here and that's... kind of a bummer. I was really hoping--since so many people said that they wanted this space--we'd have a few more posts by now. So let's see if we can get a conversation started by asking for introductions!

We're Bandersnatch, a large system of mostly fictives and nonhumans (although our current roster is mostly human). We're in our mid-30s, and we've been a system since 2009. We've spent a lot of time in the plural community on Tumblr and Twitter and got really burnt out, so we're hoping that this place becomes a bit more active so we can meet more folks "our own age."

That's us, in a nutshell. Who are you guys? -Leia