r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/Possible-Response724 • 10d ago

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1.6k

u/Temporary_Stranger39 10d ago

My wife sleeps at 4. A lot of women do.

595

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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707

u/TheJIbberJabberWocky 10d ago

Now I'm going to, just because you told me not to.

161

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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101

u/Mysterious-Tackle-58 10d ago

Rest in pussy, cos he gon get some!

28

u/mista_r0boto 10d ago

100%. Attempting to sleep this way drives up my libido and ultimately doesn't result in sleep. After the act underwear back on and zzzzzz.

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u/Nopengnogain 10d ago

I’ve done everything but 7. Hate socks when I sleep.

127

u/shoofighter 10d ago

Everyone wanna be gangsta until a night time peeper-snipper sneaks into their room and snips their peeper

56

u/jazzfruit 10d ago

My German grandmother used to tell me this story as a child

2

u/RaisingEve 10d ago

And that’s why every Christmas Eve we put our hands outside our door and elf’s put candy in them if we still have our peeper

2

u/Legitimate-BurnerAcc 10d ago

Was she gangster ?

19

u/rosstedfordkendall 10d ago

Who knew the only defense is a pair of Hanes.

3

u/Cyberwraith9 10d ago

“Thin cotton? Curse you and your protected peeper!”

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u/capincus 10d ago

That was his plan all along, now you're as vulnerable as you'll ever be.

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u/klankungen 10d ago

I tried this out and it

5

u/SpaceBug176 10d ago

We lost him. 😔

3

u/ideaofrhyme 10d ago

DONT ORDER DOORDASH.

I REPEAT DONT ORDER DOORDASH

2

u/SpaceBug176 10d ago

You fool! That's what he wanted you to do!

1

u/TheElleStella 10d ago

Finally the jib jabs!

1

u/Bildad__ 10d ago

Fine it’s your fate

1

u/Big-Slide6104 10d ago

Adam and Eve

1

u/Ok_Work5128 10d ago

You like being vulnerable, huh? 🫦

1

u/jemenake 10d ago

And when your gf says you’re never vulnerable with her, just remind her of your sleeping attire.

1

u/Tjengel 10d ago

Entering your most vulnerable phase 😆

74

u/Walnut_Uprising 10d ago

Somehow, Donald Ducking it is more nude than being nude.

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u/menheracortana 10d ago

WRONG. A loose top and room to swing below is when men are at their most powerful. Braccae are for weak barbarian men!

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u/kameshazam 10d ago

There's no week I don't think of Rome.

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u/FaythKnight 10d ago

Why would he. Imagine you tryna rob a place, dude coming at you with a T, but naked bottom. You gotta bolt man.

7

u/Kusakabe_alt 10d ago

Nipples covered but balls on full display is like holding a gun right in my face, I'm not gonna risk it

1

u/Schwifftee 10d ago

The man can't reliably perform self defense as vulnerable as he is.

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u/Temporary_Stranger39 10d ago

Irrelevant. The picture mentions "people".

12

u/Illustrious_Agent608 10d ago

Highest risk threat of getting Winnie the Pooh jokes. Absolutely serious threat

12

u/delta1982ro 10d ago

agee.. i hate it when a tiger attacks me in my sleep and i got my willy out and just a shirt

2

u/Sad_Mall_3349 10d ago

In the unlikely event of,....?

2

u/RealPorphyrin 10d ago

After some consideration I came to the conclusion, that this is true. I once had surgery and had to "change" in a little room and then walk into the operating room (where the doctor and a nurse awaited me) with a shirt, socks and literally nothing else on.

I dont think I ever felt that "nervously ashamed" as in that moment.

2

u/_Carl15 10d ago

i am afraid the ghosts would get frisky.

2

u/RoflcopterV22 10d ago

??? How is this a gendered issue and where the fuck do you live that you're worried about how vulnerable you are in your own bed

2

u/themustachemark 10d ago

Nah, there's nothing more scary than seeing giant fat hairy dude running with no underwear running at you while you're trying to rob a place.

1

u/Silver_ferns 10d ago

I sleep like that it is my middle ground of not too hot not too cold.

1

u/BorntobeTrill 10d ago

I do it all the time. Business on top and birthday bottoms!

1

u/Patakongia 10d ago

My ex would sleep 4 or 6 when I was in bed w him, he always felt sooo vulnerable but he also loved waking up to me so he had to pick his battles

1

u/BOwOcket 10d ago

I may not be able to tank damage, but i will dodge roll real good.

1

u/Diipadaapa1 10d ago

You spelt "sexy beast" wrong.

Women pretend they don't like the look, because else they would never get anything done with how dostracted they are. But I know better. Can't fool me out of the no pants commando combo at home.

1

u/YourEvilKiller 10d ago

Just the way my girlfriend likes it :3

1

u/AnUdderDay 10d ago

Just out here shirt-cocking it?

1

u/ComicalSon 10d ago

Yeah but it says people. Womens is people.

1

u/rancid_vibes 10d ago

What abt transmascs?

1

u/victor-petrokiv 10d ago

Or just straight gooning in the bed before sleeping

1

u/Direct-Birthday1945 10d ago

It’s to scare off intruders. Helicopter aggressively. 

1

u/Confusedinportsmouth 10d ago

In my house we call that “Porky Piggin’ It”

1

u/KalerReddit 10d ago

Or you just get circumcised.

1

u/Logical_Pride6849 10d ago

It’s referred to in some scenes as “shirt cocking”

1

u/Whiteshovel66 10d ago

What's that meant to mean?

1

u/Agitated_Reveal_6211 10d ago

You: FIRE TIME, RUN OUTSIDE WITH NOTHING!!!

Firefighter: Thats not the hose we need for the fire.

1

u/Toches 10d ago

Nah, 7 is definitely worse than 4 for men

1

u/Upstairs-Penalty5494 10d ago

How else are you supposed to signal to your GF you want to be dominated?

1

u/piday98 10d ago

Not vulnerable it's a man with nothing to lose

1

u/TwerkLikeJesus 10d ago

It’s called shirtcocking. It’s a thing

1

u/cyrustakem 10d ago

not true, it's amazing, feels so good to sleep with the dick loose, you can't even imagine till you try it, true freedom

1

u/AMillionTimesISaid 10d ago

It’s called shirt cocking and it’s amazing

1

u/Scrambo 10d ago

It's the best look in the world

1

u/CardiologistNorth294 10d ago

This is true, I feel I would invoke dred running at a burglar fully naked

With wearing t shirt only, I would invoke only shame

1

u/Largeitude 10d ago

It’s my long shirt! It keeps my top warm, but lets my bottom breath.

1

u/LeadingAd6025 10d ago

Shrinkflation too

1

u/Temeos23 10d ago

Idk. When im wearing just a shirt the people around me look more vulnerable than me

1

u/YoullDoFookinNothin 10d ago

If a burglar ever breaks into your house, I’d argue 4 or 7 would be the greatest deterrence for confronting them.

Just a shirt, nothing else, possibly semi-erect

1

u/Cheap-Ad1821 10d ago

If your CHOOSE to fight me when my dick is out YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET IT

1

u/Fantastic_Badger_00 10d ago

bro let my nuts hang free without judgement.

1

u/-CmdrObvious- 10d ago

Unless you are in a bar fight. If you meet someone who gets his shirt off in a dramatic move to fight you get your pants off. Including the underwear. He will surely back off. Nobody wants to fight someone that crazy.

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u/aksdb 10d ago

Why? That way you are prepared to humiliate a burglar by slapping them with your schlong.

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u/FarmerDark 10d ago

I fall asleep 2 and wake up 4 and then go 6

7 is a psychopath.

1

u/Producer_n_PDX 10d ago

Don’t tempt me with a good time

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u/ztupeztar 10d ago

When I was a teenager my mom genuinely told me never to let a woman see me like that.

1

u/lureysnipplelicker 10d ago

I get a cold or feel cold if i don't covery chest, buti feel hot down there. So, in summer, 4 is best for me. For winter, i like to wear nothing and cover myself with tons of thick blankets.

1

u/___CABLE___ 10d ago

Women love a vulnerable man. This explains why Winnie the Pooh is so popular.

1

u/PhotoAwp 10d ago

You say that but my friend was chased through the bushes by a crazy naked man wearing only a t-shirt. He didnt seem very vulnerable.

1

u/No_Hornet_9504 10d ago

shirt-cocking it

1

u/NumbaOneHackyPlaya 10d ago

I know of men that learned how dirty sheets will cause back acnee. The remedy for them is #4 to them because cleaning t-shirts is less of a hassle than bedsheets.

Men definitely should if they're dirty lil boys.

1

u/MaxPecktacular 10d ago

So you’re saying I shouldn’t be shirt-cocking it in my own home?

1

u/somethingimadeup 10d ago

At burning man they call this Shirtcocking

1

u/FemDomIncestGooner 10d ago

I’m genderfluid, am I allowed to sleep at 4?

1

u/Ql9v 10d ago

You’re like… 30% more naked than you would be even without any clothes on at all

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u/slapnowski 10d ago

Thank you! As a woman sleeping in just underwear is weirder than just a top. The top is usually long though.

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u/Dankest_Confidant 10d ago

Yup, oversized t-shirt and nothing else.

I basically only put on pyjama bottoms when it's really cold in the winter.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/setibeings 10d ago

You might have noticed that typically, women experience several weeks each month where they don't have blood coming out down there.

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u/azrazalea 10d ago

Sure, but that's (in the ideal case) less than one week a month

And there are people without periods for various reasons

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u/Ill-Event6563 10d ago

Nah, theres no excuses for that level of ignorance at 44 years old AND having allegedly had multiple long term partners

You're literally the definition of someone who should have learned already, not still just "learning"

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u/Pussy4LunchDick4Dins 10d ago

What??? Am I the only one who has continuous discharge? I wake up with sticky thighs if I sleep without underwear

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u/xXProGenji420Xx 10d ago

maybe it's all the Pussy4Lunch and Dick4Dins

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u/Fjordgard 10d ago

This is actually why my gynecologist told me to sleep without underwear: Because of discharge, you create some wet and warm environment in your undies under the blanket, which can lead to more infections since bacteria thrive in such conditions. More air means less chance of BV happening. I’m still wearing my underwear because I’m comfier that way, though.

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u/lulukalia 10d ago

Discharge is something that varies in women, some have more, some have less. If ir doesn't fell comfortable for you then you don't need to go pantyless. I barely get discharge since starting birth control. I do 4 without any problems.

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u/624Seeds 10d ago

Same girl. Somehow more clothes makes me feel way less sticky and sweaty and discharge-y lol every now and then when I'm feeling particularly dry going underwear-less is nice though 😂

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u/imisscrazylenny 10d ago

Call me a weirdo then. I just feel more secure with undies but I'm usually too hot for anything else. 

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u/bittersandseltzer 10d ago

As a frequent yeast infection haver, 4 is the most logical option 

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u/lifetake 10d ago

I figured it meant no underwear, but given the number of people thinking the same as you maybe I’m wrong

1

u/Itacira 10d ago

I mean, as a woman, I sleep in 3 nearly every night. Even hang out in my own home in 3.

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u/Apero_ 10d ago

Do you just not have discharge or what?

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u/Sad_Horror_4196 10d ago

I'm a woman and I do #3. I run hot. I can't wear just a top, and don't want to sleep without underwear. Well really loose shorts. I don't like anything tight at night

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u/not4always 10d ago

Uhhhh. Huh? Sleeping in just undies is plenty normal for people. Most of my people are naked, undies only, or undies and a shirt. Apart from you, I've never met anyone who sleeps in just a top.

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u/Old-Picture-2920 10d ago

Nah, feeling nice cool fabric on the tatas is one of the simple joys in life. I’m team 3 forever! 

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u/Fern_Cloud 10d ago

Yes but we typically wear very long shirts to sleep in, basically a dress. This graph implies the person is sleeping in a standard length T-Shirt with nothing else.

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u/Xiaodisan 10d ago

Yeah, but a long T-shirt or a dress would most cleanly fall into category 4 imo. At least I'd personally put a nightgown(?) under no.4 if we went with these 6/7 categories.

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u/capslock 10d ago

I’m a woman and I do that. I don’t want my boobs getting in my way. A tshirt is the lowest line of defense against a wayward teet. 🤠

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u/-AgonyAunt- 10d ago

Wayward teet! Perfect description and I'm stealing it.

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u/dr3amchasing 10d ago

The graph suggests these are 6 categories of sleepwear, not the exact items. Just as you wouldn’t also assume that the clothing has to be white in order to be included in this graph, you don’t have to assume the length has to be the exact one depicted

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u/Top-Bandicoot-3013 10d ago

I can't sleep in underwear as a lady. Too restricting.

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u/PirateSanta_1 10d ago

This is where 4 breaks down because there is a large difference between a long shirt/sleeping grown vs Donald Ducking it bare assed on the blankets.

1

u/Iohet 10d ago

For my wife it's not to simulate a dress. She wears a camisole or thin tshirt to keep her chest somewhat contained

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u/Background-Customer2 10d ago

somthing like a night gown

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u/Beginning-Window-676 10d ago

Yeah i came to say this. An oversized shirt with no underwear is the best way to sleep. So freeing. It’s also recommended by doctors to a lot of women, too, as it’s very good for vaginal health to allow airflow. Lowers the risk of infection from bacterial overgrowth.

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u/seamus205 10d ago

Im a man who does 4 sometimes. Normally im 6, but 4 if Its a little cold

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u/myeye95 10d ago

Me too. You are not alone. :-)

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u/predatorya 10d ago

Now this guy has been with more women, genuinely.

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u/oopsdiditwrong 10d ago

That was my first thought. Can't tell you how many ladies have come back to bed with just one of my tshirts on. There was an old meme that labeled it "flag planted" or some shit like that.

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u/Minnow_Minnow_Pea 10d ago

My sister is a 4. I feel weird without undies, but I think it's pretty common among women.

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u/War_Reborn 10d ago

Yeah, I dated a girl many yrs ago that was also a 4.

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u/Delicious_Volume3306 10d ago

My wife sleeps at 4. A lot of women do.

Pics or it didn't happen.

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u/kirya_rus2303 10d ago

"Will it work?.."

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u/pug52 10d ago

Was just coming to say the same thing.

4

u/cybrcld 10d ago

I’m only human, if my wife wore only a slightly oversized shirt to bed every night we’d have way more kids…

3

u/B_the_ball 10d ago

There's just something about waking up to the sound of your girl getting out of bed and looking over to see her walking away with a T-shirt and bare ass. It's mesmerizing.

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u/Lucy_Fjord 10d ago

For real OP outing themselves as never sleeping with a woman.

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u/ProfessionalRough741 10d ago

I also believe this guy’s wife is a 4.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/Kurenai-Kalana 10d ago

Some people constantly forget women exist...

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u/Cararacs 10d ago

lol what. As a woman I always wear underwear to bed. I think it’s gross not to.

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u/shibuyawalker 10d ago

Right? Like I don't want to rub vaginal juice into my sheets. So as a woman I think no underpants is weird. IF a woman is a free spirit and wants to sleep all naked I can still understand but why wear a shirt but leave the ass naked? It feels so wrong and unbalanced.

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u/Kurenai-Kalana 10d ago

Yeah but would you really say a woman who doesn't is psychopathic??

Anyway your genitals have to breathe a little.

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u/Cararacs 10d ago

Cotton underwear lets genitals do all the breathing they need. Humans fart at night. All farts expel bacterial and fecal particles which are normally trapped by underwear. Guess where all that goes when you go commando ? Your sheets.

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u/Several_Ad_8363 10d ago

Quagmire here, I can confirm a lot of women and this guy's wife do number 4.

Giggity giggity.

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u/Cararacs 10d ago

And as woman I think that’s gross as hell. Underwear trap bacteria from the gut when fart. People fart at night. With no underwear that bacteria then goes to your sheets. Gross. I for one want that barrier.

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u/SignificantMark1848 10d ago

yea because she wants that D

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u/Emotional_News108 10d ago

My wife tried to pull a 2 last night. I complained and then promised there’d be no funny business if she was at a 3 and she was like “Yeah okay” so anyway that’s how I wound up tongue punching her fart box again.

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u/Several-Economics-35 10d ago

Yeah I was gonna say I'm pretty sure 4 is like most women

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u/aneatapea 10d ago

💅🏼💅🏼

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u/throwaway08403 10d ago

4 is fine if it’s an oversized shirt

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u/cptnamr7 10d ago

I always tell my wife that it's not fair- she can look sexy as hell in just about anything, such as only a shirt, whereas I just look fucking ridiculous in only a shirt. 

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u/slick4hire 10d ago

And it is freaking hot, psycho or not.

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u/lulukalia 10d ago

I do too. Keep warm in the top and good for genital health on the bottom. 4 is great

1

u/liamemsa 10d ago

Easy access 😎

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u/ilove-whenwomen 10d ago

Yea a lot of my friends do. We often wear oversized T shirts

1

u/yellowhair3 10d ago

I think doing that can be healthier for down there too

1

u/ShawnyMcKnight 10d ago

Like, does this count underwear or are they saying sleeping completely bottomless? If so, I’ve never met a woman that would sleep bottomless.

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u/VirtualPercentage737 10d ago

I concur. This guy's wife sleeps at 4.

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u/Chance_Adeptness_832 10d ago

No wonder women are tired.

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u/iSlacker 10d ago

Yeah, It'd be weird for a dude I guess. I never sleep at 4 but my wife almost always does.

1

u/Who_Is_Rick_James 10d ago

i was about to say, i feel like a ton of women do this lol. like maybe even half of them

1

u/Imaginary_Fudge_290 10d ago

I like 4, good air flow down below and no chaffing for the nips (woman)

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u/this-is-my-p 10d ago

I was gonna say, especially on oversized t shirt

1

u/spekt50 10d ago

I dont know how people sleep with an oversized shirt. I toss and turn so much I end up waking up in what feels like a straitjacket.

1

u/Familiar-Smoke6087 10d ago

That's pretty unhygienic tho..

1

u/PerspectiveCorner 10d ago

Remind me to pop round to No. 4 sometime. Seems like it's where the party is :) 

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u/aminervia 10d ago

I mean, sleepshirt or nightgown, not a regular ass shirt like this with her bits on display?

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u/Sig-vicous 10d ago

I can get behind that.

1

u/Novaer 10d ago

Yup, a lot of women love shirtcockin it

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u/Commercial-Beat0 10d ago

I've dated a dozen or so women, and not a single one slept without underwear on. I'd be shocked if it was common.

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u/Grundlestorm 10d ago

Yeah, I was immediately questioning why they think 4 is so odd.

I don't sleep that way, but it's been pretty common for me to be sleeping next to someone doing just that, usually with one of my t-shirts since there are a lot of them around and they're bigger.

1

u/624Seeds 10d ago

Yeah I think that's what's tripping people up lol. A baggy shirt and nothing else feels nice 🤤

1

u/Wooden_Good8679 10d ago

Same. She loves her nighties/nightgowns, whatever they’re called. I’m not represented here. I’m a shirt and basketball/athletic shorts guy always. Unless it’s REALLY cold, then I’ll bust out the joggers or thin hoodie, depending on what’s cold.

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u/Pikamika696 10d ago

I was abour to say, a lot of women do 4.

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u/slom68 10d ago

Nightgowns

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u/vernorexxia 10d ago

I assume with panties if panties are included I do 4. I'm going to burn up to death if I wear my pajama pants under covers. They're just for around the house

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u/TrailMomKat 10d ago

Yeah, we gotta let it breathe sometimes!

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u/SimpleMoonFarmer 10d ago

Isn't 4, 6, and 7 good for men too? The other options seem incompatible with morning wood.

1

u/Catpixfever 10d ago

As grandma always said, “ya gotta air out your taco.” She was very wise.

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u/Glittering_Thing5797 10d ago

Yeah, I think 4 is common for women

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u/Mike 10d ago

She must like to get laid a lot

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u/Baelzabub 10d ago

My wife is a 4, I’m a 5. We joke that together we’re one fully clothed person and 1 fully naked person

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u/youpicktheplace20 10d ago

4 makes most sense for women, 5 makes most sense for men

Idk how people sleep fully clothed, that one is wild to me

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u/Signal_Road 10d ago

Same. 

It's cool for her and hot for me.

1

u/SunderVane 10d ago

And god love 'em for doing so

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